Chapter 3
Stepping into my apartment out of breath, I quickly kicked out of my heels and watched as they landed somewhere remotely near the shoe rack to the right of my front door. I hurried forward and dropped my camera bag onto the kitchen table before rooting around in the outside pocket of the bag for my phone that had been buzzing like mad on the way up to my apartment. I spotted a text in the groupchat that Marci had created for herself, Karen, and I.
MARCI 5:51PM So apparently Matt is busy tonight?
MARCI 5:51PM Lame, but I can tell Fog to stay in
MARCI 5:52PM Girls night? Just us 3 bitches?
My heart lurched at the first text. Matt had plans? Probably a date with some beautiful woman as usual. I frowned. I didn’t want to think about that, especially not after the other weird night we’d just had last Friday. He’d tried to call me a few times Saturday, probably having forgotten I was working a wedding, or maybe hoping I’d call him back. I hadn’t. I didn’t know what to say or what to make of the entire situation.
KAREN 5:54PM I’m game. Where?
EMILY 5:55PM I’ll meet you wherever. I just want to DRINK after this week
I headed over to my fridge, opening it and scouring the contents for something quick I could eat before throwing on something else to wear for tonight. I sighed when all I found was an apple; I really needed to find time in my schedule to grab or order groceries soon.
MARCI 5:57PM YES. Let’s get weird tonight, please???
MARCI 5:57PM And what about Pulse? Place seems crazy, never been
I smiled down at Marci’s texts as I took a bite out of the apple. Marci was a goddamn wildcat when she hadn't been tied down to Foggy. Tonight would most certainly get weird. I side-eyed the apple in my hand as I chewed–I was probably going to really regret not eating more first.
KAREN 6:00PM Weird but not too weird, okay? I’m not 21 anymore Marc…
EMILY 6:01PM I’ve only got an elopement tomorrow night
EMILY 6:01PM So I’ll encourage the misbehaving tonight
I took another bite of my apple, heading towards the table and grabbing my camera bag before taking it down the hall to my bedroom. I’d had a last minute engagement shoot I’d had to run out and photograph that had run late, but I still had a bit of time to get ready for the night.
Maybe a girl’s night out drinking was exactly what I needed. A chance to blow off steam, gossip, and let loose. Who knows, maybe I'd get real wild and find a hookup. It wasn't something I often did, but I was feeling a little disheartened between the weird situation with Matt and the way Daredevil had kissed me and bolted that same night last week. Maybe a meaningless fuck was just what I needed to get past all the glaring rejection.
MARCI 6:05PM Single Emily is my new BFF
I laughed, rolling my eyes at Marci’s text as I sat down on my bed, eating quickly.
KAREN 6:07PM Meet you all outside by 7?
MARCI 6:07PM Make it 7:30.
MARCI 6:07PM And please someone else dress like a slut with me
I grinned, my eyes darting to my closet. I had a short, form fitting black dress and a pair of heels that would be perfect for tonight.
EMILY 6:08PM I got you girl. See you all at 7:30. I've got to get ready
I left my phone on the bed, heading over to my closet and pulling the door open. Stepping inside, I took another bite of the sour apple as I walked towards the back left of my closet. My free hand darted up and slid a few hangers out of the way until I found the unworn black dress hanging innocently.
I'd bought it online from a boutique intending to wear it for weddings, not really realizing just how short it was and just how deep the neckline plunged until I had tried it on. While it ended up being too revealing and unprofessional for work, I'd looked good in it. Too good to want to return it. I'd thought about wearing it out some time with Justin, on a date or to one of his shows, but well…that never happened. Instead it had sat at the back of my closet for the past six months.
I plucked it from the rack and turned to the back wall, my eyes scanning the shelves filled with various heels, boots, and shoes. My eyes landed on a black, faux leather pair of four inch heels.
If Marci was going to dress to show off her assets tonight, I was strangely in the mood to join her.
Heading out of my closet, I laid the dress out on my bed before placing the shoes on the floor beside it. Standing upright, I smiled down at the dress before taking another bite out of the apple.
Yeah, I was definitely planning to let loose tonight.
I grabbed my phone off of the bed and scanned my recent calls, my finger deftly selecting my brother's number. It rang twice as I held the phone to my ear, chewing my apple as I waited for him to answer.
"What's up, Em?" Ezra asked in greeting.
"So apparently Karen and Marci want to get together for a girl's night and I was hoping I could crash on your couch again?" I asked him sweetly.
Ezra chuckled over the line. "You should just move back to Hell’s Kitchen at this rate, Em," he told me. "But yeah, that's fine. I've got plans with Michael and Jared tonight, I'll be crashing at their place so I won't be home. Feel free to crash."
"You're the best," I told him.
"Just no bringing guys back to my place," he said firmly.
"Gross," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'd clearly go somewhere else for that."
"I need no more information about that," he said quickly. "You girls have fun. And be safe. Call me if you need anything."
"Will do," I assured him. "Love you, Ez."
"Love you, you little shit," he laughed back.
We hung up and I finished my apple, hurrying to finish getting ready in time to order an Uber and meet the girls outside of the nightclub.
I spotted Karen and Marci the moment I stepped out of the Uber. Karen was in shorter heels dressed in a black dress that had a significantly more modest hemline than what Marci and I had on. Marci had on a very tight and very short navy blue dress with a pair of heels that I wasn't sure how she would be comfortable dancing in all night.
When I reached the pair, Marci’s lips pulled back in a devilish smirk as she eyed me up and down. Karen's eyes went a bit wide as she took in the sight of me; normally I was in professional attire or something more modest.
"You both look stunning," I complimented, smiling back at the pair of them.
"And you look like you're on the prowl," Marci pointed out. "Your tits in that dress are making me question my sexuality tonight."
I snorted, rolling my eyes. "Okay, so maybe I'm open to the idea of fucking a stranger tonight. Pretty sure I dressed to make it obvious."
Marci grinned at me before turning towards the building that was pumping loud music out of its front doors.
"Let's go do some shots and help Emily make some bad decisions, " Marci said, leading us into the club.
The moment we stepped inside I nearly felt suffocated from the loud music thumping in my chest and the heat from so many warm bodies packed together. It was dark inside with only the dark blue lights scattered around the ceiling lighting up the place. Farther to our left, well past an inordinate amount of writhing, grinding sweaty bodies, was a DJ on a stage playing music with the only bright lights in this place flashing just around him.
We snaked our way through the crowd towards the large square bar in the center of the place. I cringed as I passed by someone, their sweat brushing onto my skin. It took a bit of calculated maneuvering before we had finally reached the bar, the three of us leaning forward against the counter.
"It's hotter in here than outside," Karen said loudly over the pulsing music, running a hand along her forehead.
Marci was busy leaning over the bar counter and flagging down the bartender. I watched as an attractive blonde man meandered over, shooting a flirty smile at the three of us.
"What can I get you beautiful ladies?" the man schmoozed, shooting Marci a wink.
"Three," Marci said, holding up her fingers, "three wise men shots."
"Jesus, starting off strong tonight?" Karen breathed out, eyes wide.
Marci only turned her head and shot Karen and I a devious smirk as the bartender began making our shots. She shrugged a shoulder lightly at us.
"Emily wanted to drink, so we're doing it right," she told us.
The bartender slid the three dark brown shots towards us, the glasses slightly sloshing. Marci grabbed a glass and held it up before she spoke.
"To bad decisions," she toasted.
"Already feeling the effects of them," Karen said nervously.
I clinked my glass against theirs before bringing it to my mouth, feeling the sting of alcohol in my nose before I threw my head back and downed the shot. My throat burned as the alcohol made its way down. Karen coughed lightly beside me as I set the empty glass back on the bar and flagged the bartender back over.
"I think we could go for another round of that," I told the guy, shooting him a wink and throwing cash on the bar. My eyes turned back to Karen and Marci and I grinned mischievously. "I did say I would encourage misbehavior tonight, didn't I?"
Marci smiled wide, a dark glint in her eye. "I like single Em a lot. She's fun."
The bartender slid us another round of shots and we each grabbed a glass. I held mine up and said, "To finding a worthwhile fuck."
Karen laughed, shaking her head as she knocked her glass against ours.
Marci smiled slyly at me. "I've got one waiting back home," she replied coyly before downing her shot.
I threw the liquor back, feeling that familiar burn again as my head felt a little lighter. I grinned back at Marci saying, "You're lucky. I've never had any luck with that."
Surprise coated Marci and Karen's faces at my words.
"Hold on," Karen said abruptly. "You’re saying Justin wasn't any good, you know–" she made a gesture with her hands, "--in bed?"
I shook my head roughly. "God no. He was selfish. Everything was what he wanted when he wanted it. Honestly I spent more time trying to get myself off after sex than actually having sex."
Marci pulled a face as she leant up against the bar. "He wasn't even any good with his mouth?"
I snorted out a very unladylike noise. "He complained after the first few times that it took too long and he didn't like it. Then he always had some excuse." I rolled my eyes dramatically. "But you can bet your ass he wanted me to go down on him whenever he wanted it."
"Wow, what an ass," Karen said, waving down the bartender again.
The bartender wandered back over, flashing us another flirtatious smile as he asked for our drink orders before swiftly making them.
"So he wasn't any good?" Karen pressed, looking entirely surprised as her attention returned to me.
"Nope," I answered back.
"Not even his hands?" Marci asked in astonishment.
I shook my head. "Nope. He couldn't work a clit even with explicit directions and his fingers moved like he couldn't figure out how to unjam a toaster."
Karen and Marci burst out in loud bouts of laughter. I smiled warmly at the bartender who handed me my whiskey sour.
"Perfect timing for this," I told him, raising the glass to my lips and taking a drink.
"So…so wait," Karen said, holding up one hand as her other grabbed the bottle of beer from off the counter, taking a quick pull before asking, "Why did you even stay with him?"
I shrugged a single shoulder in response. "Oddly enough, there was crazy sexual attraction there. Obviously faded over time for many reasons. And he was…sweet at the beginning of the relationship, but I think it was the drugs and the stupid groupies that got to his head," I confessed. "He thought he was hot shit, but he was a terrible lay. And then he became an angry, cheating asshole. I think I was just…holding on to the idea of what he had been. And we had been together for so long that I was afraid to walk away."
"What about before him?" Marci asked, taking a drink from her glass and eyeing me curiously. "No good sex before him?"
"Believe it or not, I didn't sleep around too much before him," I admitted. "Justin was my big relationship, we were together for awhile. The one night stands were just okay and the two brief relationships before Justin were…bland." I took another sip of my drink before admitting, "Never had an orgasm my vibrator didn't give me."
"Damn girl, I am so sorry," Marci said, sympathetically placing a hand on my shoulder.
I laughed lightly, shaking my head. "Here's to hoping the next one isn't a disappointment."
"What about Matt?" Karen asked tentatively.
Marci's eyes went wide as she leaned in. "Ohh, what about Matt?" she asked. "I heard he's not a disappointment."
I immediately winced, staring down at the glass in my hands. "I really don't want to think about Matt pleasing other women sexually," I grumbled out.
"Sorry, you're right," Marci said, waving a hand dismissively.
Karen cleared her throat, absent-mindedly spinning her bottle on the bar beside her. "Actually I meant, what about what's going on with you and Matt?" she asked. "Last week? I heard he was flirting with you."
I raised a brow curiously at her. "He was laying on his charm, not flirting."
Her eyes darted up from the table, meeting mine. "You sure that's what was going on?" she asked me. "Because from what I saw, he was following you around that night. Chased after you when you left."
I opened my mouth to respond, but then immediately closed it again. He had been following me around that night.
"He…he was definitely laying on the charm like he does for hookups," I answered her, though now not feeling entirely confident in that thought. "I mean, if not, what plans did he have tonight where he would cancel going out with us unless he wasn't…hooking up with some beautiful woman," I said, grumbling the last part.
"He might not be on a date tonight," Karen suggested lightly.
Something in her tone registered as odd but my buzzed brain wasn't able to exactly latch on.
"Anyway, what about you and my brother?" I asked her, abruptly changing the topic.
I saw the blush rise on her cheeks immediately, biting her lip as her eyes fell down onto her drink.
"Why did you never tell me you were into him?" I asked her, nudging her with my shoulder.
"Cause he's your brother!" she answered, hiding her face nervously behind a hand. "I didn't want to make things weird."
"It's not weird," I assured her. "He's been infatuated with you since the first time he saw you at Josie’s forever ago. You're the only woman I've ever seen make him nervous; he's always been too afraid to ask you out."
She took a drink of her beer, a small smile sneaking its way up onto her mouth. She swallowed and then told us, “Well he did finally ask me out. For tomorrow night.”
My eyes went wide and my mouth dropped open, an excited squeal coming out of it. “Please tell me you said yes?” I asked her immediately.
She nodded slowly before I descended on her, wrapping her in a hug. “Oh my god, you could become my sister-in-law!”
She laughed loudly, shaking her head as she pulled away. “Let’s have a first date first, jeez!”
“Fine,” I said, rolling my eyes playfully. My attention turned to Marci, my eyes lighting up as I asked her, "So how serious are things with you and Foggy now?"
Marci grinned nervously, becoming almost a little shy at the question. "Well…we are talking about getting a place together."
"Really?" Karen asked, her eyes going wide.
Marci shrugged lightly. "We're always staying over at each other's place every night, and it's a pain to keep traveling back and forth. So we've been…talking about it." Her head gestured towards me as she said, "We were looking at your new neighborhood, actually. Matt and Foggy are making more now and with my income we could actually afford something nicer outside of Hell’s Kitchen."
"Wow, so it's like the real deal with you two?" Karen asked her.
Marci nodded, a blush rising to her cheeks. "Yeah…I've sort of always known though, you know? I just…never took the time to really see it."
I reached out a hand, lightly grabbing her wrist. "Marci, I think we've all known except for you for a while now."
She rolled her eyes, taking a drink from her glass.
I smiled, biting my lip as my eyes darted between Marci and Karen. “I’m just really excited to see you both doing so well,” I told them abruptly. “Successful careers, successful relationships.” I smiled warmly at the pair. “Really. You guys deserve it.”
Marci giggled, taking a sip of her drink before her eyes shot to Karen. “Okay I think we bypassed crazy drunk Em and got emotional drunk Em tonight.”
I held up a hand, shaking my head. “No, no,” I told them. “Let me just down the rest of this and we can go dance.”
The three of us grabbed our drinks, quickly finishing them off and setting them back onto the counter. Marci led the way through the crowd of sweaty bodies to a place where there was enough room for the three of us to enjoy the music and let loose. It wasn't long before I focused on a cute guy nearby, alcohol fueling me to go talk to him.
My eyes darted back down to my phone in my hand in the slightly quiet corner we’d managed to find ourselves in. I had been staring at it on and off for the past ten minutes as the room swayed. I was beginning to think that maybe texting Matt an apology for how I acted last week while drunk at almost two in the morning wasn’t a good idea, especially since he wasn't answering.
“What’re you looking for?” Marci asked as she leaned over my shoulder, glancing down at my phone.
Karen glanced up from her phone where she’d been ordering an Uber for her and Marci to share. Their apartments were near each other and in the opposite direction of where I needed to go.
A shameful look crossed my face as I looked between the two women. “I may have…drunkenly texted Matt. Apologizing for…flying off the handle last week and making assumptions,” I admitted.
Marci’s eyes went wide and she attempted to jump up and down excitedly, though in her heels and with how much she’d had to drink, it looked quite unsafe.
“Is this the night you two finally admit you’ve been into each other for forever and then make sweet, sweet toe-curling orgasm-inducing love?” she asked hopefully.
Karen laughed as I rolled my eyes. “Definitely not," I told her.
"What about that guy you were making out with earlier?" Marci asked next. "What happened to him?"
I groaned, throwing my face in my hands. "He just wanted me to go out in the back alley and blow him like a cheap whore." I sighed, leaning against the table for support. "Apparently I just don't have it anymore."
Karen's head tilted to the side as she surveyed me over her fifth beer. "What's that mean?"
"Well, I either get treated like an easy fuck by my best friend who has no idea I've been in love with him for like two years now," I blurted. "Or like a desperate hoe at the club or on my brother's roof."
Marci and Karen exchanged a look before turning back towards me.
"Okay, what? There's way too much to unpack there," Marci pointed out, holding up a hand.
"You're in love with Matt?" Karen asked in shock.
"And who the hell is treating you like a hoe on your brother’s roof?" Marci added, leaning forward on the table with extreme interest.
I groaned, burying my face in my hands. "I kissed Daredevil," I said, my voice coming out muffled.
"What?"
"Uh, come again?"
The matching exclamations of disbelief that rang out from both of them made sense, considering I'd never told anyone about my undefinable relationship with the masked vigilante over the years.
I lifted my head and rested my chin on one of my hands, trying to will the room to stop spinning. I shouldn't have drank so much and ate so little tonight.
"I said I kissed Daredevil," I repeated, feeling my cheeks flush.
Karen looked almost furious before her expression shifted to surprise and a small part of my brain questioned that–until Marci’s rapid-fire questions completely erased that detail from my mind.
"You kissed Daredevil? When? Was it like a thank-you-for-saving-my-life kiss or like a I-wonder-what's-under-that-suit kiss?" she interrogated me. She leaned in even further across the small table, her eyes narrowed at me. "Is he good? I bet he's good."
My drunk brain tried to wrap around all of her questions as the music pounded way too loud and hard in the club.
"I've been…friends with him for a few years," I said, my eyes darting between the two. "He saved me a while back. He's actually the one who recommended Foggy and Matt to help me get my business going. I needed someone to look over my photography contracts." I ran a hand through my hair, my mouth feeling dry. "I was always up on rooftops when I lived here–mine or Ez's. So I saw him a night or two every week for a few minutes."
"Oh my god," Marci breathed out. "So you know who he is?"
I shook my head. "No, I don't know much about him," I admitted. "But we've always flirted. And I've…told him a lot about myself. And he's funny," I said, smiling a little to myself before abruptly shaking my head. "We kissed last week. After the whole weird Matt thing. And it was like…there was something there but then he just disappeared on me. Ran off saying he shouldn't have done it."
"Maybe he shouldn't have," Karen grumbled. When my eyes shot to her, brows raised, she quickly said, "I mean because you don't even know him, right? Probably not a good idea…"
"But wait," Marci said, waving a hand in the air. "You just said you're in love with Matt."
I shrugged a shoulder, grinning faintly. "Doesn't mean there hasn't always been serious sexual tension between Daredevil and I. At least he shows an interest in me." I huffed out a long sigh, rubbing my temple with my free hand as I felt a headache beginning. "I don't want a relationship with him though, don't get me wrong. I want that with Matt. It's just…Matt and I have always been platonic. Strictly friends."
"I still say you should talk to him," Karen said, taking a long pull of her beer and finishing it. "But why don't we go wait outside for the Uber?" she suggested. "Get some fresh air? Maybe grab you a taxi, Em?"
I waved a dismissive hand. "It's not that far of a walk to Ezra's, but I can wait out front with you both."
"I'd really feel better if you didn't walk home…" Karen said nervously.
"I'm fine," I assured her.
The three of us took a few minutes to leave the club, weaving our way once again through the sweaty bodies that were tightly packed inside. I was relieved when we finally made it outside; the air smelled better and it was not just quieter but cooler.
Karen was rapidly typing away on her phone and I briefly wondered if it was Ez shooting her flirty drunk texts. Though she seemed to be texting a little aggressively for flirting.
"Hey, have you been doing okay?" Marci asked, catching my attention.
I glanced at her curiously, the alcohol in my system muffling that ache in my chest and the twist in my gut tonight.
"Yeah, why?" I lied easily.
She stared at me for a long moment, her eyes narrowed and suspicious. "Foggy said Matt thinks something is going on with you. And you do usually always open up to him."
"I'm fine," I told her quickly.
She chewed her lip, contemplating something for a moment. And then a hesitant smile slipped on her face as she said, "You know you can always talk to Karen and I right? About anything?"
Nervously I tucked some hair behind my ear, my eyes darting down to the sidewalk. "Yeah, I know," I assured her. "I'm fine though. Just shitty breakup and work stress getting to me, you know?"
She nodded slowly. "Okay, well if you ever want to get together and trash talk Justin further, you know Karen and I are always down."
"Always down for what?" Karen asked distractedly, pocketing her phone.
"Trash talking Justin," Marci answered brightly.
"Oh yeah, most definitely," Karen agreed enthusiastically. "He's an asshole and you're better off being free of him." She adjusted the strap of her purse a little nervously, her eyes darting around us for a moment. "You sure you don't want a taxi or something?" she asked me.
I sighed, shaking my head and grinning. "Thanks for the concern, Karen, but I really can walk a couple blocks."
"But it's not exactly safe…" she pressed.
"I have pepper spray," I assured her. "And very sharp heels."
"And you're probably too inebriated to react quick enough to use them," a familiar deep voice called from nearby.
The three of us spun on the spot, turning towards the voice. Marci let out an audible gasp at the sight of Daredevil casually leaning against the back alley wall nearby. Karen, who I'd known he'd saved a couple of times in the past and was fairly supportive of what he did in Hell's Kitchen, didn't seem too surprised at his sudden appearance. Though I felt my pulse quicken at the sight of him, the memory of how he'd kissed me so fervently on the rooftop last week becoming very fresh in my mind. I tried to fight the heat rising to my cheeks at the memory, knowing full well he'd notice it.
"Don't see how that concerns you," I shot back.
"You shouldn’t be walking alone and drunk at night, Emily," he chided. "Having to come save you in fifteen minutes would concern me then." He pushed off the wall, sauntering a few steps out of the alley towards us. "Consider it preventative action." He shrugged a shoulder, a sly grin on his face. "I'll walk you to your brother’s apartment."
I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest and rolling my eyes. Marci was staring wide eyed and open mouthed beside me at the interaction before her, too shocked to say anything as she processed what was happening for a moment.
Karen, on the other hand, abruptly stepped towards me, gesturing her head at him. "I think you should let him."
I gaped at her, momentarily taken aback. "You want that masked man to walk me home?" I questioned her. "One with a very well known track record of violence?"
"You just said you knew him," she pointed out. "And I trust him. He's saved me before," she added quickly.
My eyes narrowed at Daredevil, scrutinizing him. I'd have thought he was his usual cocky self tonight if it wasn't for the way his mouth was twisted into a frown at the corners. I wasn't particularly into the idea of him walking me the few blocks back to Ez’s. After last week when he kissed me like that–kissed me like no one ever had before--and then just bolted…honestly it had hurt. More than I cared to admit, which made no sense since I barely knew the guy even though I felt like he knew half of my life's story with how I'd so often spilled my guts to him over the years.
"I'll pass," I told him firmly, fighting to stand straight and not stumble from the amount I drank.
The corner of his mouth twisted further down, but it was Marci beside me who spoke up.
"I'm with Karen," she told me. "Let him walk you home." She leaned in closer to me, grinning as she whispered, "Maybe he can unjam your toaster."
I groaned at her words, spotting the growing smile on Daredevil's face. With his weird hearing I knew he had heard that, and even though he didn't understand the context I knew he certainly understood an innuendo when he heard one.
"Look, our ride is here," Karen said, gesturing to the car that had just pulled up down the street. "Please let him walk you? I'd feel better knowing my friend wasn't drunk wandering alone through Hell’s Kitchen."
I stared at her pleading face for a few seconds, my stomach churning. I wasn't sure if it was because of all the hard liquor I'd drank or the fact I was about to cave and let the Devil walk me home tonight.
"Fine," I grumbled.
Karen pulled me into a hug and told me to text her when I was back at my brother's. Then I turned and told Marci goodbye, groaning again when she said she wanted details of anything that happened between us tonight. I wasn't looking forward to what Daredevil was going to say to me the moment they were out of earshot.
I watched as the two walked towards their waiting car, my arms still stiffly crossed over my chest. Out of my peripheral I saw Daredevil stop just beside me. I tensed at his presence so close to mine, hating how my heart was hammering loudly in my own ears knowing he could hear it. I closed my eyes tight, trying to ignore the thoughts of his mouth on mine and the way he tasted and the pleasant scratch of his stubble under my hand.
"Something on your mind?" his deep voice broke the silence.
My eyes snapped open at the sound of his voice as I watched the Uber drive off with Karen and Marci. I huffed, shakily turning on my heels and heading down the back alley he'd appeared out of initially.
I'd had him walk me home a couple of times before, I knew the drill. Stick to the alleys and side roads, try to stay in the shadows. He didn't want me being seen casually walked home by him for fear of someone targeting me to get to him.
"Yeah, you expecting a tip for your services?" I snapped, annoyed.
"What?" he asked, surprise in his tone.
"For walking me home," I shot back.
"No, I don't–"
I stopped abruptly in the alley, spinning towards him. I stumbled on my heel and he reached out to help, but I braced a hand against the brick wall beside me, pulling myself intentionally out of his reach.
"Are you following me?" I asked him bluntly.
His mouth pulled into a straight line as his red eyes stared at me through the dimly lit alley. "No, Emily, I'm not following you," he assured me. "I was nearby. Heard your friend telling you she didn't want you to walk home alone so I thought I'd walk you…like we used to do…"
"So you're just going to pretend you didn't just kiss me like that last week?" I shot out, the words just tumbling out of my mouth. "You're just going to show up and walk me back to my brother's apartment as if nothing happened?"
His gaze dropped to the pavement at our feet, his head hanging in almost shame as his shoulders sagged. "I told you before I left that I shouldn't have done that," he whispered. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."
I stared at him in disbelief, tears welling in my eyes. "Didn't deserve what?" I asked him.
His head shot up swiftly, the red gleam of his eyes on his helmet boring into mine. "You deserve more than some strange masked man kissing you on a rooftop, Emily."
I barked out a sharp laugh at his words, the sound bitter and loud in the vacant alley. "So you're really using the 'it's not you it's me' line?" I asked in disbelief.
He took a step towards me, shaking his head. "No. No that's not it at all." He paused, his jaw clenching noticeably as he stared back at me. "I apologize for what I did. Where is all this anger coming from?"
"Because no one's ever kissed me like that before!" The words flew out of my mouth and I immediately bit my lip, turning away from him as heat rose to my cheeks. I couldn't believe I just admitted that.
"What?" he asked, his tone soft and surprised.
I swallowed hard, running my hands through my hair repeatedly as I tried to steady my racing heart. "Nothing, nevermind," I mumbled back. "I'm drunk."
I started walking again but his gloved hand darted out, deftly catching my wrist in his grip. I stumbled backwards but his other hand was immediately steadying me, briefly catching my shoulder before both of his hands released me.
A tear fell down my face and I roughly wiped it away, embarrassed. Letting him walk me home while I was drunk had been a stupid idea.
"What do you mean no one's ever kissed you like that before?" he pressed, though his tone was soft.
I refused to look at him, heat burning in my cheeks. “Like I mattered,” I whispered. “Like it wasn’t just some necessary prelude to getting what they actually wanted from me.” My eyes snapped shut again, another tear falling down my cheek. “Like it meant something.”
I could feel how close he was standing behind me, so close that his breath was washing over my neck in warm waves. I swallowed hard, eyes still closed.
“No one?” he asked softly.
“For a long time I thought that’s just how it was,” I mumbled. “Then I thought it was just me.” My eyes opened and I shifted, turning my head just a bit to see his dark suit just past my shoulder. I exhaled a shaky breath as I watched the corner of his lip twitch. “Until you kissed me that night,” I admitted.
Behind me, Daredevil audibly sucked in a sharp breath. Nervously I spun towards him, all my anger fading as I stared up into his dark red eyes. My tongue anxiously darted along my lips before I took a tentative step towards him, closing the brief gap between us. I saw him stiffen at the movement, his head sharply tilting to the side as he stared down at me.
“I spend all my time lately photographing couples in love,” I confessed. “Editing their photos afterwards. Always seeing love everywhere, all day long. And I’m just left always wondering if…anyone would ever look at me like they do. Would kiss me like that.” I shook my head, fighting back the tears at such a personal fear that he’d somehow managed to pull out of me without even trying. “Or if I was just destined to be the one guys only wanted to fuck. Couldn’t remain faithful to.” Another sharp, bitter, humorless laugh came out of me. “Couldn’t even care enough to make sure I was taken care of in the bedroom.”
“You–he…?”
“Oh yeah,” I said loudly. “Since I’m spilling out secrets and I already told my friends,” I rambled on, anger briefly flaring through me again. “Terrible sex life. Destined to be best friends with my goddamn vibrator.” A few tears ran down my face and I wiped them away, too far past even feeling embarrassed at my brash honesty now. I’d regret that when the alcohol wore off later. “Not like my needs were ever fucking important,” I snapped. “He sure as shit got what he wanted from me and then kept on taking everywhere else he could. Selfish asshole,” I growled out.
Daredevil’s gloved hands curled into fists at his sides, the material of his suit groaning loudly in the empty alley at the gesture. “You deserve better than that, Emily,” he ground out.
“Yeah,” I agreed, wiping my hand over my cheeks roughly again. “Yeah, I do.”
Silence fell between us and for a long moment I stared up at him; his body was tense, his head still tilted to the side listening to me. His jaw was still set firm, his lips pulled into a taut line on his face. From what I could see of his nose, his nostrils were flared as he exhaled heavily in front of me.
An impulse hit me and without thinking I immediately reacted on it. My right hand unsteadily raised up towards his cheek, barely managing to reach a half a foot from his face before one of his gloved hands snatched my wrist. I startled at his quick reflexes, my eyes sliding up from his mouth to land on the red eyes again.
“What’re you doing?” he questioned, voice low.
I licked my lips again nervously, my eyes slowly making their way back down to his. “I want you to kiss me again,” I admitted quietly.
His head snapped to the side, his mouth contorting like he was in pain–just as he’d done last time. He was still holding tight to my wrist in his hand and I boldly tried to move it, testing his boundaries. His hand remained locked around my wrist, but he allowed me to place my hand against his face, gently cupping his cheek.
“I told you before,” he warned me, “that’s not a good idea.”
“Why?” I breathed out.
His head slowly turned back towards me, my hand still cupping his cheek and my thumb lightly brushing against his skin as he stared back at me. He looked completely torn and conflicted from the little I could make out of his face under the mask; I couldn’t possibly understand why though.
“Because you don’t know who I am,” he urged.
I shook my head roughly, my thumb trailing down his face to gently graze the corner of his mouth. His head leant further into my touch, almost nuzzling into my hand. “I don’t care,” I whispered back. “All that matters is–do you want to kiss me?”
His jaw repeatedly clenched and unclenched, I could feel the muscles moving underneath my hand. My heart was thudding loudly in my own ears as I waited for his response.
“Emily, you deserve better,” he whispered back, pain in his voice. “Better than being kissed by some masked vigilante in a back alley while you’re drunk.”
I could feel my knees beginning to tremble underneath me as I shook my head again. “You keep saying that, but in my experience, you’re the only one who’s kissed me like I want to be kissed,” I told him. “But that’s not what I asked you. I asked if you want to kiss me?” I repeated.
“Yes,” he breathed out, the word barely audible to me.
“Then kiss me,” I begged, “please.”
“You’re drunk,” he whispered back.
“I’m sober enough to know I want to feel wanted again,” I answered him immediately.
A heavy sigh blew out of his lips and he hesitated for a minute before one of his gloved hands very slowly reached up, gently cradling my head. Very carefully, almost tenderly, he pulled my mouth up towards his as he leaned down. My eyes fluttered shut right before his soft mouth landed on mine. Unlike the desperate urgency that was in his kiss last time, this kiss felt warm, almost delicate. His mouth moved slow against mine, like he was taking his time, savoring it. My other hand flew up, wrapping around his neck and pulling him into me. When he stepped into the kiss, pressing our bodies together, I stumbled, my heel slipping out from under me–but one of his hands firmly gripped the small of my back, pushing me against his solid body and keeping me upright as my trembling legs righted themselves.
Kissing him felt good–really good. My hands had managed to both wrap themselves around his neck, holding him to me, while his had both wrapped low around my waist and my back, keeping me tight to his body. I could feel a heat flooding its way down between my legs, a spark of arousal igniting from the tenderness and heat of the kiss.
But out of nowhere, Matt’s face flashed through my mind.
I abruptly pulled back, breaking the kiss. We both stood there, panting heavily and sporting matching swollen lips from making out in the middle of the alley. After a moment he released his hold on me, taking a step back and putting a large gap of space between us. It was in that moment as I surveyed him before me that I had one thought persistent in crossing my mind.
I wanted it to be Matt kissing me like that.
“I should…probably get back to my brother’s,” I muttered.
“Yeah,” Daredevil agreed, swallowing hard enough for me to notice. “Let me…walk you back.”
It was only a few minutes of a walk back to Ezra’s place, but we walked it in a strange silence. Daredevil said nothing more about the kiss, keeping his distance from me on the sidewalk as we moved, trying to remain in the shadows. Occasionally my gaze would land on him and he would tense as if he noticed–he probably did.
When we reached the apartment building, he awkwardly said a quick goodbye before he disappeared back into the night, leaving me alone on the front steps of the building. With a sigh I made my way up the stairs, my fingers brushing along my lips as I walked.
As I reached the elevator, stepping on and pushing the button for Ezra’s floor, I leant up against the wall of it. When the doors closed I shut my eyes, remembering the feel of Daredevil’s lips so soft and gentle against mine. If I tried hard enough I could almost imagine him taking off the helmet of his suit, revealing Matt’s handsome face staring back at me and his lips swollen from kissing me so passionately.
I groaned when the elevator doors opened with a ding, my own eyes opening and bringing me back to reality. That wasn’t Matt kissing me like that, it was some stranger in a suit. My heart dropped to my stomach as I stepped into the hall, making my way towards Ezra’s empty apartment for the night.