Enemies Always
Sigyn had a thin scar where Loki had stabbed her, but she thought it a small price to pay for his continued hatred. She was back to assisting her mother with lady in waiting duties, although now she was allowed to take part in the gossip. She heard all sorts of things. Things about cheating husbands and palace whores. The princes were another common topic. Never a bad thing was heard about Thor, but that was all to be found about Loki. She should have felt good that everyone hated him the way she did, but she didn’t. She didn’t because these people didn’t know him. They were making assumptions based on rumors and appearances. He had a reputation as a liar and a trickster- which he was, that much was true- but he didn’t deserve the suspicion. The story of how he had almost killed his brother at eight years old was also a popular topic, and old news in Sigyn’s opinion. Now though, his shapeshifting abilities dominated the rumor mill. That too, made her angry.
Sigyn was suddenly acutely aware of the shadow Loki lived under. It was becoming more and more obvious, especially after the scene with Idunn. He had called himself unworthy and incapable of love. He had heard himself described as inferior so much, he was beginning to believe it. Sigyn hated him, but she also hated for him. She hated his father and the stuck up noble women. She hated the gossipping servants and the suspicious guardsmen. She even hated herself sometimes, and all the things she spat at him. He was supposed to be untouchable, above petty insults from a peasant girl, but maybe his arrogance was another one of his illusions. Maybe he did want her to care, and was that so horrible?
Yes. Yes it was.
Sigyn sat in the Queen’s sitting room with two of the other ladies in waiting. They were all older than her, the youngest being 11 years older than she. No one was saying a word, each entertaining themself in various ways. Sigyn was reading Frost with, she might add, a very straight face. Loki, it seemed, had picked it up from the garden after delivering her to the healers. He had returned it after she left with a knowing smirk and a threat to spoil it.
The youngest girl, who was working on embroidery, finally broke the silence, “You’re Ljot’s daughter, correct?'' She was pretty with messy gold hair and eyes the color of honey.
Sigyn glanced up from a passage describing the way the frost-giant’s cold tongue moved between the main character’s legs, “I am. My name is Sigyn.”
“Asny. It’s nice to have another girl closer to my age.”
“We’re 11 years apart.”
Asny shrugged, “Age gaps begin to disappear when you live as long as we do. In another 100 years you won’t care so much.”
“A pleasure to meet you formally, Sigyn. I used to see you around when you were just a child. My name is Fulla,” another woman introduced herself. She was much older. Closer in age to the Queen, if Sigyn had to guess. Not that she or the Queen looked old. Another benefit of an Asgardian lifespan was the fact that they didn’t show the effects of aging. Both women still looked lovely, their years shown only in the wisdom of their eyes.
Sigyn nodded her respect, “Nice to meet you.”
All of them were considered servants, above most other servants in the palace hierarchy, but servants all the same. Still, Asny and Fulla wore dresses of a quality that Sigyn could only dream of owning. They were made of fine, richly colored fabric with intricate embroidered detailing. Asny wore a necklace to match hers, while Fulla wore jewels in her hair. Sigyn was wearing a much simpler dress. A sleeveless smock compared to the other two. At the very least, Idunn had let her keep a pair of earrings which she wore now. All in all, she was keenly aware of how little she and her mother had, and she couldn’t help but wonder at the difference. Not out loud of course, because that would sound whiny and ungrateful.
“You know the princes, don’t you?” Asny asked, getting straight to the point.
Sigyn deflated a bit because she didn’t exactly want to talk about the princes. Why did all her friendships have to be based on her knowledge of Loki? Because that’s what people were after, that’s why. Asny would probably ask after Thor for a few minutes before she finally let herself ask if the stories were true. “I do,” Sigyn sighed, “Not very well though.”
Asny waved her disclaimer away, “Tell me about Prince Thor. I’ve seen him train, but I’ve never gotten closer than that. Is he just as attractive up close?”
“He was a wild little boy,” Fulla muttered.
“I suppose he’s handsome enough,” Sigyn answered. She didn’t much care for blondes she had decided. Or super built and strong persons. She liked them taller and leaner. “He’s not really my type.”
“He’s everyone’s type,” Asny argued.
“Not Lady Idunn,” Fulla reminded them, “Whatever happened between her and Prince Loki?”
“It was never gonna last,” Asny said, as if she knew anything about it. “Lady Idunn was nice enough, and very pretty, but Loki’s too cold. He didn’t care about her, he doesn’t care for anyone. He stabbed his brother, you know. Anyone who can stab their sibling has obviously got something deeply wrong with them. And besides, would she still like him if she found out about his shapeshifting? I don’t know if I could love someone like that.”
“And what do you know about it?” Sigyn challenged lightly in a voice of sugar and sunshine despite the growing anger that stirred her insides.
“I’ve heard everything,” Asny assured her, “I know what happened. I have no idea why she chose him in the first place, though. He’s obviously a bad egg. Prince Thor is much better.”
“Maybe she chose him because she recognized his intelligence and maturity, two things which Thor lacks,” Sigyn proposed, her voice a cutting edge.
“Someone has a crush,” Asny shot back, suddenly defensive.
Sigyn’s temper flared. She had a feeling maybe she wasn’t the one with a crush. “I do not! We hate each other! I’m just tired of people pretending that they know everything about either of them. I’m tired of how you all look down on Loki and turn a blind eye to Thor because he’s better for some reason. Who decides that? He is arrogant, and ignorant, and impulsive, and brash and you all ignore it and let yourselves get distracted by his pretty smile and sparkly blue eyes. They both have faults, but neither one is worse than the other!”
Asny glared, her mouth unhinged to release some other foul debris, but she was interrupted.
Fulla chuckled, “Well said,” the older woman praised. “I used to care for them as children. Thor was always loud. He cried a lot. Loki was quiet and easy. He was observant and knew what behavior was tolerated by each of his caretakers. He was my favorite.” She finished in a conspiratorial whisper, “Most likely because of that.”
Sigyn nodded her agreement. “They haven’t changed. I believe he still does that, only nowadays the only thing anyone expects him to be is cruel.”
Fulla smiled sadly.
Asny rolled her eyes. She obviously wasn’t convinced. Sigyn supposed some people were unwilling to live in a world that was anything more complicated than black and white. “We wouldn’t expect that of him if he didn’t keep proving us right,” she declared.
“Maybe he’s afraid to prove you wrong,” Sigyn retorted.
“Whatever. So you’re saying what happened between him and Lady Idunn wasn’t his fault?”
“It’s not my place to tell you about it.”
“You don’t know!” Asny accused.
Sigyn was nearing the end of her patience. She had never had a ton to begin with. The heat of her anger boiled her chest, she was surprised Asny didn’t drop dead from the severeness in her stare. Her mother didn’t have a rule about being polite to fellow servants so…
She snapped her book closed. “I was assigned to Idunn as her lady in waiting. I was there,” she told them, “and it’s not my place to tell you what happened.” To make her point, and to make sure she didn’t say anything she would regret, Sigyn stood and left the two of them in the Queen's chambers.
She strode down the halls toward her garden. Loki appeared beside her as she walked in a shimmer of green. He said nothing and Sigyn did not acknowledge his presence. She was not in the mood to deal with him, or to face the fact that she had just said a few things that weren’t rude about him- and he had heard. Gods she hated him. He was the only person who could rile her up this much and he hadn’t said a word. She had only been having a conversation about him, during which she defended him, and protected his privacy. And he had had the nerve to eavesdrop. Was murder disrespectful?
Finally he opened his mouth, not turning to look at her as he said, “Those were some awfully nice things you said back there.” The words were teasing but a glance at him told her he felt lost and confused. He was holding himself together, everything was in its place, not a hair out of line, and yet he looked as though his entire world had been turned on its head. Too bad she didn’t care. She wasn’t feeling much in the way of sympathy at the moment, especially not towards him.
“Yeah, you’re welcome!” Sigyn spat. She was still high strung and ready for battle in a way that only he could make her. “I could have told them how much of an ass you are.”
“Yes, I’m grateful, but Sigyn… why didn’t you?”
She didn’t stop as she began her rant. If anything she sped up, talking as fast as she walked, “I don’t know Loki, maybe because they were getting on my nerves and I would have hated to agree with them on literally anything. Maybe I honestly think it's wrong the way you’re always cast as the villain in any situation, and I’m tired of it because you may be my villain, but you sure aren’t theirs!”
“I’m your villain?”
Something in his voice made her stop short. She grabbed his arm and used his continued momentum to slam into the wall and push her arm up against his throat to keep him there, “I did not do that because I like you!” He was very tall. His body was hard and strong beneath her, but surrendered willingly to her own.
Loki held still beneath her forearm and looked down at her, his eyes were an icy grey-green and glittered humorously over hidden depths. His mouth pulled up in a smirk, “Did you do it because you love me?” He sounded mocking, he was mocking, but something in him wasn’t
She sneered, her heart pounding a panicked rhythm, “I do not care for you as anything more than another person in this world with woundable feelings- and maybe I should stop. You are my villain, maybe I should try harder to be yours. We are enemies! Always! Don’t ever suggest otherwise!” She released him and stepped away. “I hate you,” she whispered viciously.
“Good,” he replied with an equal amount of venom.
Sigyn turned and stormed away. She didn’t care and he didn’t either.