Chapter 16
Chapter 16
It was cold. He could feel nothing but the cold, slowly taking over him. He was surrounded by darkness, lying alone. His mind was foggy. He didn't know where he was. The only things he registered were the darkness, the cold … and the pain. Everything was burning - he couldn't move - no one was there to save him and keep him warm. His limbs were lying helpless and he could feel blood dripping from him. He was barely conscious, his mind threatening to drift into nothingness. Where was Thor? Why wasn't Thor with him, to keep him save? To protect him? To keep him warm? To make the pain disappear? He always was. He always had been with him when he had needed him. But now he had left him. Like everyone else, he had turned him down. The one he'd thought had loved him. But now he wasn't there. He was completely alone. He knew he would die. Thor wouldn't come back. He wouldn't come back to save him.
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Loki awoke with a suppressed scream. He was shaking violently, quiet, wracked sobs escaping his lips. Only a dream. It had only been a dream. As Loki managed to slightly open his eyes, his gaze fell upon Thor, snoring peacefully beside him. He was scared. He tried to calm himself but ended up crying even harder, his fingers gripping onto the covers.
Loki(panicked): "Thor! Thor, please!"
As Thor woke up, he was confused at first. What was going on? The moment he opened his eyes, he jumped into action. Loki was lying next to him, his fingers white as snow, gripping the covers and he was crying bitterly. His slim body was trembling terribly and his beautiful eyes were hazy and filled with terror and panic.
Thor(confused): "L-Loki? What's wrong, love?"
Loki didn't respond, curling up into a ball next to Thor and holding onto his sleeping shirt. Thor embraced him, carefully relented his grip and scooped him up into his arms. Minutes passed as Loki kept sobbing in Thor's arms, making noises which Thor remembered from their childhood when Loki had een frightened but had tried to suppress it. Thor didn't really know what to do except from stroking his hair, reassuring him and making sure he wasn't going into a panic attack again. His breathing was erratic, ragged inhales of air, interrupted by sobs. When the trickster struggled to breathe at all, Thor put a hand to his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat.
Thor: "Hey, Loki - everything is fine. I'm here. I'm right here. There's nothing you have to be afraid of. Breathe, love. Slowly. There's no reason for crying."
Then he took Loki's hand, leading it to his chest so Loki could feel his even breaths and immitate them. This actually helped after a while and Loki calmed little by little until he sank down exhausted, inhaling deeply. Thor allowed him a break before speaking again.
Thor: "Loki - why are you crying? What frightens you?"
Loki didn't answer immediately, catching his breath and searching for an explenation.
Loki: "Don't leave me! Don't - ever leave me! Promise - Promise you'll stay with me!"
Thor was taken aback. He realized Loki had had a nightmare. In earlier days this had been common but since their relationship there hadn't been a single night like this. Ever since they'd come together, Loki had slept peacefully, not a sign of bad dreams. But actually, he should have expected it. From the moment where he'd seen Loki lying bleeding in the snow, he also sometimes saw this image in his dreams. He couldn't even imagine what Loki was going through.
Thor: "Don't worry, love. I am here. I will stay right by your side whatever is about to happen. It was only a dream. You're save with me. Forever."
He gingerly put a kiss to Loki's hair, pulling him even closer. Loki cosed his eyes exhaustedly, relaxing step by step. When his sobs had faded completely and there were no more tears left to cry, Thor straightened up with Loki still lying in his arms.
Thor: "Would you like to take a shower? Banner meant it should help."
Loki nodded, cuddling further into Thor's clothing.
Loki: "D-don't leave me."
Thor: "No, I'll stay right here."
Thor carried him over into the bathroom, gently putting off his clothes and setting him down carefully. Loki stood shakily, then walked into the shower and turned on the water. Thor grabbed a towel and sat down on the bathtub so Loki could still see him and knew he hadn't left. When Loki was finished, Thor walked over and wrapped him into the towel, rubbing him gingerly. The man was trembling slightly but all in all looked better than before. His eyes had cleared up and he'd regained his usual tone of colour. When Loki was dry, Thor threw the towel aside and instead wrapped his arms around his frail figure.
Thor: "And? Are you feeling better?"
Loki: "Yes, a little. It clears the mind."
Thor smiled, kissing him tenderly.
Thor: "Good. Then I'll bring you back into bed. It's time to make breakfast."
He didn't even wait for Loki to reply, instead he lifted him into his arms again and carried him back. Banner had told him Loki wasn't allowed to exhaust himself and Thor was doing everything possible to avoid exactly this.
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When Thor had finished making breakfast, he took his and Loki's meal, put it onto a tray and walked back to the bedroom. Why making Loki come here if he could stay in bed as well? He entered quietly, putting the tray on the bedside table as he noticed Loki was half asleep. He sat down, satisfied with his work when Loki opened his emerald eyes.
Thor: "Good you're awake, dear. Breakfast is ready."
When Loki's eyes met the food next to him, his face lightened up with a smile. Thor had really done everything to make Loki comfortable. Their meal consisted of: a cup of tea, added by milk and sugar, sandwiches filled with either ham, cheese or both, eggs, grapes from which Thor knew Loki liked them and two cookies to add something sweet.
Thor: "I hope you're satisfied."
As Loki already had started eating eagirly, he only nodded confirmingly, extending one hand to hold Thor's. The thunderer watched him happily, glad he at least hadn't lost his apetite. When they were finished, Thor leaned back relaxed, having one arm around Loki's shoulders.
Thor: "And? How are your injuries doing?"
Loki's smile faded as he had obviously forgotten they even existed. But now that Thor mentioned them, the pain came back alive.
Loki: "Ahm - could we skip this part?"
Thor laughed, pulling Loki into his arms.
Thor: "I'm sorry to tell you - but today we'll have to do it again."
Loki: "Mhm - not now. 'm tired."
Thor's smile widened as he put a kiss to his lover's lips, gently stroking his hair.
Thor: "That's fine. We shouldn't stress anything as long as you don't feel ready for it. You can sleep for now. Nothing will happen to you, I promise."
Loki eyed him frightened.
Loki: "W-will you stay here? You won't leave, will you?"
Thor: "There's no way anyone or anything could make me leave the most beautiful and lovely being in all realms. Nothing's better than staying with you. I'll be right here when you fall asleep and I'll still be right here when you awake again. You needn't worry."
Thor kissed him once again and Loki closed his eyes sleepily, cuddling even closer to thor, burying his face in his clothes and falling asleep in an instant, a smile on his features. Thor smiled as well, looking at the man admiringly. Damn! These days were nothing but a roller coaster of emotions. He had to admit Loki slept much in the last time but he assumed that after his illness and everything else that happened, his body simly needed the time to recover and couldn't muster the energy to stay awake for long. He was fine with it anyway. Because there was barely a situation, when Loki was more peaceful than when he slept and Thor loved to simply hod him in his arms, watching over the sleeping beauty.