Chapter 4
For the first time in years, I woke up with a smile on my face. It's Saturday and Wanda is coming to visit me. She called Steve yesterday to finalize the plans. Steve surprised me with his enthusiasm on the topic. He encouraged her to bring her brother, Pietro, and said he would even invite Natasha for her to meet.
I am quickly growing fond of my brothers girlfriend. The other day she showed up with a few bags of new clothes she bought for me. As much as I appreciate Steve letting me borrow his clothes, it was nice to have some clothes that fit like they were supposed to. Of course, they didn't fit perfectly since she could only guess my size, but she was pretty damn close on it.
After the call ended Steve got a little smile on his face. "Why don't we grill out tomorrow, huh? I got a grill out on the balcony. Burgers would be fun."
"You don't think it's too cold to grill?" I asked, peaking out onto the small balcony across the living room.
"I think we'll be fine. We used to grill all the time, remember?" He looked at his phone. "Let me call Bucky. We'll get it all figured out!"
He quickly walked by me, placing a swift and chaste kiss onto the top of my head before running up the stairs. My entire body tensed at the unexpected contact. I felt my hands began to shake before carefully pulling them into the sleeves of my sweater. Steve paused halfway up the stairs, freezing in place.
"I'm sorry," he sighed, his back towards me. "I shouldn't have.. I didn't think about.. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," I whispered, although it seemed to echo throughout his apartment.
He nodded, barely noticeable unless you were really paying attention and then continued up the stairs. Soon his voice was wafting through the apartment and Buckys name was on his lips.
We didn't talk much after that last night. I hate how weak I am. He's my brother. I shouldn't flinch anytime anyone ever touches me, especially not him. He's family. I hope he isn't still thinking about it.
I glanced to the alarm clock beside me. Half past ten. I have time to shower before Wanda gets here.
I can hear chatter downstairs as I make my way to the bathroom. More distinctly I heard Natasha call out, "Of course it's cold outside, it's November! Didn't Dandi try to tell you that the other day?"
I smiled to myself, entering the small bathroom. I turned the shower knob as far as I could into the hot and began to shed my pajamas. Glancing in the mirror I could see that my bruises were turning from dark purples into murky greens. I'd almost argue that they hurt more now than they did before. The ache seemed to sink to my bones with each movement I made.
Shaking my head, I pushed the self-pity out of my head and stepped carefully into the shower. The bruises are there for a reason, right? Thats what he always said. The bruises are there for a reason, and if I don't know that reason then I didn't learn my lesson. The bruises on my arm caught my sight, screaming at me, 'why are we here? Did you learn your lesson? No. I bet you didn't.' The words just kept being repeated over, and over, and over.
'Did you learn your lesson?'
'Did you learn your lesson?'
'Did you learn your lesson?'
I hadn't even realized that there were tears falling from my eyes and sobs escaping from my throat. I only stood there, staring at my yellow and green arms. Hints of blue and purple still peaking out at some spots.
"Dandi? Are you okay?" A voice called through the door, snapping me out of the haze I'd fallen into.
"Y-yes," I choked out, blinking rapidly. "I'm fine." Yet, I couldn't stop the tears.
"Dandi," Natasha's soothing voice called, "I'm gonna come in okay?"
"O-okay," I nodded.
I heard the door knob rattle for a moment before the door softly swung open. I couldn't see much through the foggy glass door of the shower, only her bright red hair.
"Whenever you're ready, I've got a towel waiting for you," she assured standing by the shower door.
With shaky hands I cracked the door, grabbing the soft fabric from her hands. I wrapped the fluffy towel around my body and stepped out onto the shower mat.
"What's wrong, Dandi?" Natasha asked, trying to catch my darting eyes with her calm ones.
"I don't know why he gave me these bruises. I didn't learn my lesson." I cried, surprising myself as I wrapped my arms around her neck. My face burrowed in her neck. "They're here for a reason, and I don't know the reason. I didn't learn the lesson."
"Breathe with me, sweetie. A deep breath in," she paused, "and a let it all out."
We repeated this a few times before I finally composed myself. I pulled myself out of her arms, embarrassed of the little episode I just had.
"I'm s-so sorry, I don't know w-what happened," I stuttered out, wincing at my own voice.
"You had a panic attack." She said, pushing my wet hair out of my face. "That's totally normal, Dandi. People have panic attacks all the time. Especially people who are going through significant changes like you are right now."
"Okay," I whispered.
She continued to reassure me as she walked me back to my room. I sat on the bed as I watched her scurry around my room, looking through my dresser drawers. She pulled out a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt, and a lavender cardigan. She held them up to me in question and I nodded in confirmation at the outfit. She stepped out of the room so I could tig the clothes on and quickly found her way back in once I was done.
"Can I do your hair?" She asked, holding a hairbrush in hand. I once again nodded in response. She hummed as she brushed the tangles out and started to pull my hair into a tight braid, strand by strand. Once done, she rested her chin on my head and looked at me in the mirror. "Ready to go downstairs? Wanda will be here any minute."
I followed her downstairs after tugging a pair of fuzzy socks onto my feet. Steve and Bucky stared at me for only a moment.
"You good, kid?" Steve asked, eyebrows furrowed.
"Yeah, man, I'm good," I giggled. I had forgotten about that little joke. Him always calling me kid and me calling him man.
His shoulders sagged in relief and he gave me a bright smile before he and Bucky were going onto the balcony, carrying plates out to the grill.
And then someone knocked on the door. Before I knew what was happening I was sliding to the entrance of the apartment. Not even a second after I had slung the door open I had thrown myself into Wanda's arms.
"I missed you too!" She laughed loudly, squeezing me tightly.
"I'm so happy you're here! I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to come to your shop." I pouted as I pulled away, hoping to show my apologies.
"I'm here now and that's all that matters!" She gave me one more quick hug before I pulled her into.the apartment.
"Oh, hello, Piet," I greeted, distracted as he followed his sister inside. I have an awkward relationship with Pietro right now. I had to learn many lessons on my closeness to him.
"It's good to see you," he said softly, a small smile on his lips. I smiled back and led them through the apartment and towards the kitchen.
"This is Natasha, she's Steve's girlfriend," I introduced. Natasha smiled and held her hand out.
"You must be Wanda and Pietro. We've heard so much about you." Natasha greeted. "I'm also her lawyer. I'm making sure everything is done right and that she's safe and sound."
"That makes me so happy to hear," Wanda responded.
Steve and Bucky suddenly walked into the kitchen, both shivering in their coats, blowing hot air into their hands.
"Steve, Bucky, this is my best friend Wanda and my friend Pietro." I struggled to call Pietro my friend, had I done that before it wouldn't have ended very well, but it's true. Pietro is my friend. He has been since I met him.
"It's a pleasure to meet you!" Steve smiled while sticking out a hand. The siblings both responded and shook their hands, but Wanda was looking at Bucky with a skeptical gaze.
I can only assume it to be from her protective nature.
Pietro joined the boys on the cold balcony as they grilled. My heart warmed as I could hear the three of them laughing loudly.
Natasha rolled her eyes as she sat with Wanda and I at the island, all three of us with a glass of wine in hand. "Silly boys," she had muttered.
I find it hard to describe how I'm feeling right now. I almost want to say that I'm content, but I'm not sure if that's the right word.
All I can really say is, this is the happiest I've been in a long time.