Chapter 3
I tried to swallow my embarrassment as we stepped back into the apartment. We had gotten all the way down to the lobby before I froze. I looked out the front doors and couldn't make myself move another step. It were as if he was standing in front of me again, screaming that I wasn't allowed to see Wanda again, that she was putting all of those lies in my head.
Bucky stood patiently with me as I stared out that door, and when I looked at him in fear he only shared with me a smile before guiding me back into the elevator.
"Maybe instead of a visit you could give her a call?" Bucky suggested, sliding his coat off of his shoulders. It wasn't a command, no, it wasn't a carefully worded instruction to make it sound nicer then it was.
"Umm, I don't want to turn my phone on. He won't stop calling me, and I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself from answering." I pulled my sleeves over my hands, looking around the room. While it's a nice space, I'm not sure what to do with myself.
He looked at me carefully, his lower lip worrying between his teeth.
"I could get her number from your phone if you'd like? I wouldn't do anything else and I would turn it off immediately after. You could call her from my phone."
I refused to look him in the eyes as I processed his words. Could I really just hand my phone over to him? That phone where I know a hundred of texts are going to arrive upon powering on? That phone that can expose everything that's happened to me? Not to mention that I had denied Steve access to my phone only an hour ago.
"You promise just to get her number? You won't look at anything else?" I muttered softly, wrapping my arms around my stomach.
"Promise."
I studied him for a moment, wondering how truthful he was really being. If he sees something on my phone, he's gonna tell Steve. If he tells Steve, I'm not sure if I can stop him from doing something rash. Steve won't be able to understand. I shuffled on my feet before finally deciding.
"Okay." I hopped up the stairs and into the guest bedroom. I picked up the only bag I brought with me off of the floor and slipped my hand into the small pocket, grasping the thin device. After looking at it for a moment I was back downstairs and holding it out to Bucky.
He took it carefully from my hand. He pressed his thumb down on the power button but didn't turn the screen to face him.
We both sat on the couch as the phone started to vibrate in his hands. He still didn't look at the screen but gave me a reassuring smile instead. The vibrations came through for minutes, every second longer making my stomach churn. It felt like an eternity.
Finally it silenced.
"What's your friends name?" Bucky turned the phone towards him, swiping the screen open. I didn't have a lock. I took it off my phone a couple of years ago. He always said it meant I was keeping secrets.
"Wanda," I answered. I peered over at the phone, trying to read the notifications, but Bucky quickly swiped them away. He pulled his phone out and copied the phone number over before handing me both phones.
I immediately turned my own off before pressing the call button on his. The call rang through all the way before going to voice-mail. My eyebrows furrowed. I'll try one more time. I hit redial and the phone rang three times before I heard her answer.
"Hello?" Her voice was curious. Of course she was curious. I'm calling from some random number.
"Wanda? It's me." She let out a little gasp.
"Oh my goodness, are you okay? I've been calling you the past three days! Brock came here looking for you that night, he was so angry. I didn't know what had happened to you!" She rambled with a watery voice.
"I'm so sorry, Wan," I sniffed. "I left him, Wan. I did it, I left him for good."
"Oh, honey. I'm so proud of you! That must've been so scary. Can I ask where you are now? Are you safe?" Her relaxing voice cooed through the phone.
"Yeah, I'm safe. I'm staying with my brother." I could feel Bucky's gaze on me as I spoke.
"So you're still in New York?" She asked, although I couldn't tell if she was relieved or worried.
"Yes, I was going to come by the shop today, but," I trailed off, biting into my lower lip. "Anyway, I'm calling off of ny brothers friends phone. I didn't want to use my phone. I don't think I'd be able to ignore his messages."
"Honey, that's okay! If you want maybe I could come see you this weekend? Maybe meet your brother and his friend?" She suggested.
"That would be nice," I whispered. "Maybe you could bring some of that pumpkin bread?"
"Hon, I'd bring you anything you could ever ask for," she laughed. "Would it be okay if I spoke to your brothers friend quickly before you go?"
I looked back at Bucky, he sat there with that everlasting little smile. I swear it's always on his face.
"Umm, sure. It was nice talking to you Wan, love you."
"I love you too, and I'm so proud of you."
Slowly I reached the phone back out to Bucky.
"Wanda would like to speak with you if that's okay?" I'm not sure why my voice shook. He raised his eyebrows before taking the phone and raising it to his ears.
"Hello? Hi, this is Bucky. I'm Steve's friend," ... "of course not, I've know Dandi her whole life," ... "I promise," ... "Listen you can call this number anytime to check up on her and I'll text you her brothers number as well,"
His fingers pinched his lower lip as he listened to Wanda speak. His eyebrows were furrowed and he kept stealing glances towards me. It doesn't take rocket science to guess what she's saying to him.
"Hey, tell her not to worry so much," I whispered, trying to catch his eyeline.
"Dandi says not to worry about her so much," he chuckled. Wanda said something back and he laughed even harder. "Okay, I'll tell her." ... "I'll see you this weekend."
After hanging up the phone and sliding it into his pocket he said, "Your friend said she'll worry about you as she damn pleases."
"I hate that she worries so much. It's not her job." I rolled my eyes. "She blames herself for a lot of things that weren't her fault."
"It wasn't your fault either, Dandi," he whispered, carefully gripping my hand. "You need to know that."
I tried and failed to stop the tears from escaping. How could he know that? Of course it was my fault.
"I'm gonna go take a nap I think." I chose to say. I wasn't ready for this conversation yet. No, I'm not ready for him to learn about what a fuck-up I am.
Bucky only nodded in response and watched me walk up the stairs.