Chapter 2
I wish I could say that I had slept peacefully that night, but unfortunately that was not the case. I woke up to every little noise that echoed throughout the apartment. Nightmares plagued me. I dreamed of being back in that house. Being back in his bed. By the time morning rolled around I decided it would just be better to go ahead and pull myself out of bed.
I crept down to the kitchen, and I'm embarrassed to admit that it took me so long to find the light switch. I looked through the fridge hoping to find something to make Steve a suitable breakfast. After searching through each drawer I settled on making him a breakfast sandwich with bacon, a fried egg, and an avocado spread.
I hummed as the bacon sizzled in the frying pan. I slid a spatula under the strips, carefully pulling them from the pan as they were ready.
"What are you doing?" I jumped at Steve's voice. I turned to look at him, he wore a white t-shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants. He rubbed at the sleep in his eyes. I could've sworn he was sixteen again for a moment.
"Oh, umm, I made you breakfast! To sh-show my appreciation!" God I'm so stupid. He's gonna hate this. I shouldn't have done this without asking permission. He's going to be so angry. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? Why are you sorry? I appreciate it a lot, Dandi." Steve said softly, looking at the breakfast sandwich in front of him. "You really didn't have to do this though."
"I wanted to," I said, hesitating before admitting, "I couldn't sleep."
He nodded in understanding before an awkward silence filled the room. My brother and I aren't entirely comfortable around each other. When our parents divorced my father got custody of me while our mom had custody of Steve. It was rare that our father would let me visit them without causing any problems. Combine that with the ten year age gap and you get the strained relationship we now share.
"Umm, I didn't make any coffee yet. You're coffee maker is really fancy and I wasn't sure how to use it." I finally broke the silence, turning toward the machine on the counter.
Steve chuckled before walking over and showing me how it worked. Five minutes later we both had steaming mugs and had taken our sandwiches to the table. I couldn't help the pride that filled me as Steve groaned in appreciation with his first bite.
We mostly ate in silence. Him scrolling on his phone and me just staring out the window. I didn't process how high up his apartment was last night.
"I have to go to court today, it's a big case, but Bucky said he would come stay with you for the day," Steve said, watching me carefully. "I didn't think you would want to be alone today."
"Bucky?" I barely know Bucky. Sure he was always nice to me the few times I remember meeting him as a child, but I don't think I've ever been alone with him for more than a minute. Is being with him better than being alone?
"Don't worry, Dandi, he'll make sure you're okay. I promise."
I nodded in response. If Steve trusts him then so can I. That's not even to mention the fact that our mother always loved Bucky as well.
Before Steve got ready for court he gave me an official tour of the apartment. I can't get over how amazing it is. While the minimalism isn't my personal style, it seems to fit Steve to a tee.
"Umm, did you have any stuff that you brought with you?" Steve asked with a stern tone. His face looked strained, as if he were holding back anger.
I shook my head no, unsure if that were the answer he wanted.
"Just my phone and my wallet."
"You have your phone? I didn't see it."
"It's turned off," I whispered, "he won't stop calling."
"Can I see your phone?" His jaw was clenched so I tight I feared he might break a tooth. My hands began to shake.
"N-no." I held my breath. That's a word I never could've said to him. Not without consequences.
"Dandi, I'm just gonna block his number. I promise."
I began to shake my head even more, denying him.
"Damnit, Dandi! Let me help you!" Steve finally lost his temper, yelling the words. I jumped back at the sound, swallowing the sob that built up in my throat. Tears filled my eyes and I turned my gaze to the ground, cowering.
"Y-you are, St-Stevie," I whimpered, "You're letting me stay here."
I heard Steve take a step forward only to be interrupted by another voice.
"Go take a breather, Steve." Buckys voice seemed to echo. "It's almost time for you to leave anyways."
I finally looked up to see Bucky walking into the living room, he was sending Steve a pointed look. Steve nodded in what seemed to be reluctance. He quickly grabbed his things before heading to the front door, he paused with his hand on the door handle.
"I'm sorry, Dandi. I shouldn't have raised my voice. I'll see you when I get home later." He apologized softly before leaving the apartment.
The silence that followed seemed to swallow me. The lack of sound became overwhelming. I fell into the couch and let the sobs escape my chest. I pulled my knees into my body, shaking my head into my knees.
"Hey, it's gonna be okay." I heard Bucky whisper. His voice grew closer and I heard him take a seat on the floor in front of me. "Is it okay if I hold your hand?"
Slowly I let my watery gaze raise and meet his. His head sat a few inches below mine and he gave me a soft smile. I took in his appearance as he held his hand out to me in offering. He wore a cable-knit sweater paired with a dark pair of jeans. I'm still donning Steve's university sweat shirt and the sweatpants he gave me.
Slowly I placed my shaky hand into his steady one.
"I'm not ready to block his number yet, Bucky," I confessed. "I still love him."
"That's okay. You don't have to yet." He reassured me with a strained smile. "But what he did was wrong, Dandi. It was brave of you to get out of there, and that might be hard to see right now but I promise you in a couple years you're gonna thank yourself."
"Is Steve angry with me?"
"Not at you, sweet girl. He's angry about what happened to you. He's angry he couldn't stop it." Bucky explained.
I didn't respond this time. I just sat there and cried as Bucky held my hand. I'm not sure how long we sat there, but he didn't move until I had calmed down.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"It's no problem," he whispered back. "Now, what do you want to do today?"
My mind began to race with thoughts. This is the first time in years that I get to decide what to do with my day.
"Anything I want?"
"Anything you want."
"But I don't have any money."
"I'll cover for you!" He laughed, tipping his head back. "C'mon I know you're thinking of something! I can see the cogs turning!"
"There's a tea shop that my friend o-owns." I wish I would stop stuttering. He always hated when I began to stutter. "I haven't been able to see it yet. Would that be okay?"
"That sounds perfect."