Chapter 1
My whole body shook as I stood in front of my brothers New York apartment. The brother I haven't seen in years.
I could hear laughter echoing from inside the apartment. I took a step back, beginning to talk myself into leaving. I would hate to ruin his evening.
I took one more step back before making myself stop, closing my eyes, and taking a deep breath.
If you ask for help, help will find you.
I whispered the mantra to myself three times before walking up to the door and knocking three times. Every second it took for the door to open the more I wanted to sprint down the hallway and back into the elevator. I was going to lose my nerve.
Finally I heard a laugh right on the other side of the door, and the door swung open.
Instead of Steve I found Bucky, his best friend since childhood. He held a wad of cash in one hand hand held the door with his other. His smile slowly fell as he took me in.
"Hey, Bucky, is Steve around?" My voice was hoarse and my body shook in nerves.
"God, kid, what the hell happened to you?" He whispered, slowly reaching out to touch my face.
I flinched back, avoiding the contact.
"It doesn't take that long to pay for take-out!" Steve's voice grew louder the closer he got to the door. When he reached Buckys side his expression quickly fell to match his friends. "Dandi?"
A warm feeling filled my stomach at the sound of the nickname. You see, I've never liked my name. Our father chose a different name last minute while filling out the birth certificate, he later claimed that my shared name with his mistress was just a coincidence. My mother started calling me Dandelion when I was a little girl, my obsession with the flower prompting the nick name. Steve eventually shortened it to Dandi. I haven't heard the name in five years.
"Hi, Steve," I greeted, "I'm really sorry to bother you but I needed help and you were the only person I could think of."
Steve didn't give me a verbal answer, instead he gripped me by the wrist and tugged me into his apartment. I swallowed the lump in my throat at the skin-to-skin contact. Just the feeling of his hand around my wrist made me nauseous.
He led me into the kitchen before finally releasing me. He grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it from the water dispenser.
"You're gonna sit down and you're gonna tell me who did this to you," his stern voice echoed throughout the kitchen. The statement reminded me of the bruises that littered my skin. Of the ache that filled my bones.
"No, no, no," I stared at my shaking hands, tears filling my eyes. My chest tightened and I struggled to breath. All I could think of was him. His hand on my throat. "I can't, please don't make me."
"Hey," a voice whispered. Suddenly Buckys eyes met mine. He sat on the floor beside my chair, looking up at me. I stared down at him. Down, not up. "That's okay, why don't you just tell us what you needed from Steve first?"
Steve carefully slid the glass of water in front of me before slowly joining Bucky on the ground, sitting criss-cross. I pulled my knees into my torso, looking down at the two.
"I need a place to stay," I sniffed, "and, and, a lawyer I think."
"Lucky you, you got two lawyers right here!" Steve said, holding his arms out. I could only shake my head in response. I can't tell them what happened to me. Especially not Steve.
"A girl." My voice cracked. "I need a girl lawyer."
Buckys eyes softened and Steve's jaw clenched so hard I thought it might break. I'm causing so many problems, I never should have come here. Why do I have to be so stupid? I should be able to tell them, but instead here I am making them jump through hoops.
"Bucky call Nat, tell her I need her here as fast as possible," Steve directed to his friend before turning to me. "I'm gonna take you to the guest room and give you some clothes to wear. Something warmer."
I nodded in response, following him up the stairs and into a hallway. This is the nicest apartment I've ever been in. Steve has done really well for himself. I wish I could tell him how proud I am, but I can barely string two sentences together right now. I'm so useless. Steve didn't say much once we reached the bedroom. He excused himself to grab the clothes and came back in with a pair of sweatpants and one of his old college sweaters. He placed the soft fabric in my hands, watching me carefully. I tried not to think bout the clothes I was wearing right now. I tried not to think about the fact that I looked like a whore. It was really too cold out to be wearing clothes like this, but its what he liked me to wear.
"Th-thank you," I stuttered, shying away from his gaze.
"I know we haven't been close, but I'm always here for you, Dandi, you understand?" He asked quietly. "I'm glad you came to me."
Once again, I could only nod, clutching the clothes to my body. He shut the door on his way out, sending me one last smile.
I quickly pulled my thin, ratty clothes off and pulled the new ones on. I avoided the mirror on the other side of the room, not wanting to see the many bruises hidden under the fabric.
After changing I sat on the foot of the bed and looked around me. I was just now processing everything that happened. I left. I left him. I'm safe now. Tears silently fell from my eyes and I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and never leave again.
Sadly a knock on the door stopped me. Steve's head poked through the door.
"Hey, this is my girlfriend Natasha," he nodded to the woman beside him. The red-head gave me a soft smile. "Also, the take-out got here so I brought some up for you. Orange chicken. I hope that's okay. "
"That's okay," I answered.
He left the bag of food beside me before quickly leaving the room.
Natasha walked over slowly before asking, "Do you mind if I sit on the bed with you?"
"That's okay," I agreed, watching her.
"You wanna tell me what's going on?" Her voice was soothing, like honey in hot tea.
"My, umm, my boyfriend was, well, I don't think he was treating me right. Not like he was supposed to." As I spoke she wrote on a yellow legal pad.
"Is he the one who left these marks on you?" She asked once realizing I wasn't going to elaborate.
I nodded, not wanting to say the words out loud. I didn't want to do this right now, but I knew if I didn't do it now I probably never would. I can't go back to him. Not again. I have to do this if I want to take the next step.
"Did you talk to the police at all?"
"No, no, no," I muttered, the tightness in my chest returning. "Can't talk to police officers. He, umm, he is a police officer." I fought to keep the stutter out of my voice. "I went to the hospital, though."
"Today?"
"Yes," I confirmed, "they took pictures and also did-" I stopped myself. That didn't matter.
"What else did they do, sweetie?" Her soft hand held my shaking one.
"They, umm, they did a rape kit, but he said it isn't rape if we're dating so that wouldn't count I guess, but they insisted. They said since I was going to leave him today I should go ahead." I rambled, feeling like an idiot. That's not going to help.
"No, you did the right thing, sweetie! That was the right decision!" She encouraged, squeezing my hand.
"It was?"
"Yes," she nodded, "can you tell me which hospital?"
I told her the name and watched as she scribbled it down.
"I'm not sure what I want to do yet," I blurted it out suddenly. "I love him, but what he did was wrong I think."
"It was wrong," Natasha urged. "If someone loves you they should never hurt you the way he did. It was very brave of you to leave him."
Tears started falling from my eyes again, this time with ugly sobs breaking from my throat. I hate the crying. They make the bruises on my face ache.
"You're doing so good, sweetie. We're almost done I promise." She rubbed circles on my hand with her thumb. "I can get the pictures and other information from the hospital with your permission, the last thing I need from you is a name. Once we have that I can look over the info and give you options on what to do."
"Can I write it down?" I whispered. She responded only by handing me the legal pad. I quickly wrote the name down. "Don't tell Steve any of this please."
She read the name and only nodded her head. "I won't tell him a word. Now, you eat. It's been a long day and I'm sure you're tired."
She gathered her stuff before leaving the room and walking downstairs to find Steve and Bucky waiting anxiously on the couch. They looked at her expectantly as she reached them. She tried to hide the unshed tears in her eyes. These kinds of cases always hit a little harder. More so when it's this close to home.
"You better be fucking nice to your sister, Steve!" She growled shoving her papers into her briefcase. "She's you're little sister! I don't care that you were never close!"
Steve's heart fell. He knew that she wasn't really angry at him, but the accusation that he would be mean to her at a time like this had hurt him.
"I will be," he assured her.
She took a deep breath and sat next to him, curling into his side.
"Some people are just terrible."