Chapter 16
The next morning when you woke up you found Loki in the kitchen with Jolene, making breakfast. You hated the fact that he didn’t wake you up but it was just your jealousy making you feel that way. You kept thinking about what she had said last night about Loki begging her to take him back, it didn’t seem like something he would have done but then you didn’t know what was going on with him at the time, he was lonely, that you knew for sure, you probably needed to hear his side of the story, you also felt extremely insecure that he loved her so much that he begged her to stay with him.
Your thoughts disappeared momentarily and face flushed as you looked at him, the imagery from last night was still afresh in your head.
“Good morning” you placed your head on his bicep and looked at him, he had a smile on his face but you could tell he was trying to keep his actions under control in front of her, maybe he didn’t want her judgment, whatever the reason you didn’t really care as long as he was yours to love and care for.
“Morning sweetheart, can you make tea for us?” He asked you softly so you nodded
“Can’t wait to kiss you” you whispered in his ears, making the corner of his mouth curve into a smile. Jolene watched the whole interaction fuming with jealousy, ofcourse she heard your moans and his as well, she couldn’t believe that he was fucking you, he always talked about you as if you were just a kid he had saved once and she always assumed that he was burdened by that responsibility. She saw you both eye fucking each other and her jaw clenched, a young girl like you, ofcourse he was enticed easily, you must have seduced him and trapped him but then he also was a fucked up man who had done evil things so she wasn’t really surprised by his perversion.
She wanted to move on, she tried her best but as bad as he was in other aspects of his life she couldn’t help but feel so attracted towards him still, the way he treated her made her fall in love, he took care of her in every way and she knew she’d never find someone as considerate as him, she was young and immature in her quick decision to divorce him, she got influenced by her family and friends but she was regretting it now.
“We don’t have much time, that editorial photoshoot is today at 4” he said to you so you hummed in response, the people from the Netflix series you have been shooting for suggested your name for this popular clothing brand so Loki had a meeting with them two days ago. The money was good and you were absolutely covered from head to toe much to his delight so you both agreed, you knew there won’t be bikini or lingerie shoots any longer now that you belonged to him. You got your way with him before through threats and manipulation but you didn’t want to do anything of that sort now, you didn’t want him to get upset or hurt.
Jolene stepped down from the counter and walked into his room and you couldn’t have been more thankful.
As soon as her door shut close he grabbed your arm to turn you towards him and leaned down to kiss you in a way that screamed “yesss this is what I have been craving my darling"
You should have kissed him back with equal intensity but for some reason she kept bothering you.
"Do you miss her?” He stopped kissing you and looked at you, he stared at you intently before he picked you up by the waist and put you up on the counter.
“Why would you ask me that after the night we had?” He kissed you again after finishing his sentence, then his mouth latched onto your neck.
“Answer me"
"I don't…no"
"Mmmm okay"
"Why would you ask me that?” He asked you so you shrugged. Why did you ask him that really?
“Why didn’t you wake me up?"
"Don’t steer the conversation" he glared at you but you shrugged.
"I’m not” you pulled him closer by hooking your legs around his waist but he wasn’t letting it go that easily.
“Tell me y/n” Oh!! boy it was serious now.
“I just.. she was your wife Loki..it just makes me think of things"
"What do you mean?"
"You loved her right?"
His eyes teared up as you questioned him, you didn’t want to make him sad first thing in the morning. You really didn’t want to hurt him today like you have always done.
"What is love really?” He chuckled as he grabbed your thighs and tried to get away from you. You hated this. Why did you have to do this?
“A feeling that made you want to beg her so she’d come back in your life” his jaw clenched as you said that. He abhorred feeling weak like but moreso he hated to be reminded of that.
“I seee…girls are talking to each other about me huh?”
He walked towards the stovetop to finish what he was doing, the only question that remained in your head was Why. Why did you have to ruin his day like this? You could have talked to him about this at some other time and with a different approach probably.
You heard the bedroom door opening and your eyes teared up, she was back. You didn’t want to leave the conversation like this but you had no other option.
He wasn’t even looking at you anymore and it hurt to say the least, after breakfast you went to your room to get ready. The whole day he avoided you and it killed you, you couldn’t even focus on the damned photoshoot and it was all your fault, if things weren’t sour he would have been there watching you and fucking you with his eyes. During the shoot you saw him grabbing Jolene by the hand and taking her away and that only made you more insecure. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you like that but you still felt scared. You didn’t want her to take him away from you.
“I’d appreciate it if you’d stop filling her head” He said to Jolene, he was pretty pissed off about this whole situation, he wanted to leave the past with her behind rightly where it belonged but ever since she had reentered his life for some reason she just wanted to keep bringing it up and hurt him.
“Fill her head? What did she tell you? I just told her the truth..you loved me, was i wrong?” She huffed as she finished her sentence.
“Noooo but you don’t know the whole truth or what happened after that, now she thinks that since I begged you to not leave me I still must be insanely in love with you” he snapped at her making her flinch.
“I know you’re not in love with me anymore Loki ” Her lips trembled as she spoke “But are you in love with her? Because I really don’t think so” his jaw clenched as she said that.
“You have no fucking clue what she means to me so all I want is for you to stay the fuckkkk out of our lives you hear me?"
He walked away and didn’t even look back to check if she was crying, he was done feeling bad about the situation, she had no right to come back and judge him all over again for his life choices.
Unfortunately he still had to take her back home with you, He called Steve again but he didn’t pick up so he sent several threatening texts. Probably not the wisest move to threat a detective but he was really furious at the moment. After dinner you went to your room and waited for him to talk to you because his indifference was killing you. As soon as he came you clutched on to him so he won’t leave again.
"Just talk to me Loki please I’m sorry” you cupped his cheeks and got on your tiptoes to reach his level “I’m sorry I’m sorry .. I don’t want to hurt you i swear I don’t"
He grabbed you by the shoulders and pulled you closer to him, his thumbs wiped your tears then he kissed your forehead.
"I was all alone” your eyes flickered with different emotions you felt as he said that “She was all I had, so when she left I lost my mind, I had no one by my side, no-one to love or take care of, everytime I felt weak I ran to her, even after our divorce she was there whenever the need to fuck each other arised. On the night of her birthday I called her, she asked me to go see her so we fucked again and she promised me that we can think about us again, she gave me hope again. At the party I don’t know what happened or what her friends told her but she wanted me to leave immediately, told me they didn’t feel comfortable having me around them” you sniffled as he told you what actually happened that night, he was hurt and lonely, he needed someone to hold his hand but she only ruined him further.
“And I lost it completely, something snapped, I broke down, had a faint moment of weakness” he chuckled even though his eyes were brimmed with tears “I begged her to let me stay with her, i didn’t want to be alone that night but she denied” you nodded as he said that, you grabbed the collar of his shirt to pull him closer so you could hug him and comfort him, he needed that even though you knew he’d never ask for it.
“That’s half of the story, here’s the complete truth that you wanted to hear” You looked at him perplexed and nodded again so he could continue “I picked myself up, went home, sat down in my bathtub, texted Steve to promise that you’d be taken care of no matter what and slit my wrist with a razor to end it all” you gasped as he said that, it shocked you to the core that he took that step, and how nonchalant he was about it terrified you but he had been broken beyond repair so it didn’t really surprise you.
“I waited for it to end and then my phone buzzed. Steve reminded me that you would be out there in this cruel fuckinnggg world on your own soon and that’s what brought me out of that darkness, that’s what saved me my darling, you saved me that night” your crying ceased but the tears kept coming, the initials on his scarred wrist, they were yours.
“Lokii–” you whispered his name but he pressed his thumb on your lips.
“So whenever the doubt clouds your judgement or insecurities begin to ruin you, just remember that I’m still here because of you, for you and nothing else matters, only you do, forever and ever, for life” he kissed you as passionately as he could and then he pulled away from you
“Lokii please.."
"I just need some space, I’m not upset I promise yeah?” He whispered softly so you nodded, you didn’t want to overwhelm him, you knew it was hard for him to share all this with you. As he walked out you sat down on the bed and thought of what he had told you, he was so broken that he wanted to give up but he held on because of you, so that he could take care of you his whole life, if there was any chance that you weren’t madly in love with him already you sure were now. You took a silent vow right then that you’d never ever allow him to feel that way again, that you’d never make him feel so lonely again in life. Never. It will be you and him for life or for death, as long as you had him and he had you, nothing else mattered.
In the middle of the night you felt him crawling into the bed, his arm encased around you and he pulled you closer to him, you immediately turned around to face him, the dim light from the bedside lamp made you able to look at his swollen face. He must have cried, you really wished he’d have allowed you to comfort him but you wanted to be patient with him, especially after what he had shared with you, you just wanted to be there for him.
“Are you okay?” You whispered softly as his fingers ran circles on your back.
“Mhhhm” you leg wrapped around his waist in a spooning position and he sighed deeply. He probably would have died with that secret, he never wanted to tell you about it but now that he did he really hoped that you knew how much he needed you and wanted you in his life, he could never put his feelings in words but he really hoped you knew that he loved you immensely.
You got on top of him but he flipped you underneath him swiftly and then he kissed you, it started slow but heated up pretty quickly
“I love you Loki” you whispered between the kiss, you didn’t need to hear it back, you just wanted him to know that he was loved and cherished by you and he was the most precious thing in your life.
“I know baby I know” he took his shirt off and for a moment you thought he’d fuck you like that, right here right now but then a part of you knew that he’d never take you so casually like this for your first time. He wrapped your legs around him and you moaned as his hardening clothed bulge rubbed against your core
“Have you ever done this before sweetheart?” He asked you, his voice was low and deep into your ears, he smelled so good that you just wanted to disappear somewhere with in his proximity
“Sex?” You asked him and he shook his head,
"Noooo…Thiss.. sweetheart" he humped slowly making you whimper in response, there it was- the sensation that made you want to lose all the inhibitions if you had any.
“Nooooo dadddy"
"Fuckk you’re such a good girl” he couldn’t believe that you kept yourself so untouched for him “What kind of things you have done in bed?” Your face flushed at the question as if he had never seen you naked before or that you didn’t touch yourself for him last night.
“Ummm I kissed John and ummm he made me rub his cock from above the clothes, and I made out with Jaden plenty of times, and some of them wanted to fuck me but I didn’t want to do that, and Ron ummm..he asked me if I’d suck his cock but I denied"
He got hard, so painfully hard at the thought, those men wanted to touch you, have you touch them and fuck them but you denied, for him, just so someday he’d take every little thing you had saved up for him
"Why didn’t you do it sweetheart? Why didn’t you suck his cock?” His pace increased as he questioned, his hips rolled in circles and then back n forth, stimulating your clit as his cock rubbed against them.
“For youu dadddyy.. always i just..ohhh God” you gasped as the sensation built slowly, your own hips moved mindlessly with his rhythm.
“Keep talking baby"
"I just wanted to do it with you, i have dreamt of you Loki, i have craved you and I have thirsted for you only" he smiled as you said that.
"You’re so easy to please aren’t you? So malleable for me, so very much desperate and I like that…alott"
"Dadddy"
"I know, baby.. I know…patience..I’ll take care of you in every fucking way I promise, i promise my baby I promise I will, you’re mine to do whatever I want to” your eyes teared up as he said that, you felt overwhelmed by the whirlpool of emotions. You were his, mind, body and soul. You have belonged to him ever since you laid your eyes on him.
A solid thrust and you were a goner, your body convulsed underneath him erratically as you came, you haven’t had such an intense orgasm in a long time or ever really except last night maybe, it felt cathartic and it knocked you out for a moment, that’s how you felt last night as well, every inch of your existence wanted to crumble and fall apart for him, a fleck of dust under his feet, that’s all you ever wanted to be. He called out your name so you looked at him,
“There you go.. come back my sweet buttons” he murmured, he had a small smile on his face, you heard the pet name and it made your heart soar.
“Let me touch you please, i need you to cum.. please daddy” you whined and it made him snicker, he wanted to serve you the whole universe on a golden platter but he also wanted you to beg him for that. The sick twisted part of him wanted to keep you dangling at the edge of sweet release and he wanted you to suffer for him, hurt for him, cry for him. You were his to ruin afterall. He took his cock out of his trousers and placed your hand on his, you hid your face between the crook of his neck as you jerked him off slowly, up and down, he could tell you had never done this before and he loved that.
“Bite me darling, hurt me” he whispered in your ear so you bit it on his shoulder, gently, you didn’t want to leave a lasting bruise, he needed to feel the pain so he could cum but you wanted to change that for him slowly. You gripped his hair with your free hand and pulled on them slightly, making him moan in response.
“You’re so handsome, it makes me want to fuck you right now daddy” he snickered as you said that.
“I’ll be the one to do the fucking sweet thing, you’ll just take it like the whore you are” let go of his cock and pulled your panties down along with your shorts, your wet slick lips seemed inviting but he wanted to wait, he can’t take you like this in the heat of the moment. You deserved better than that, you deserved the most tender lovemaking he could have offered you from his fucked up self
“Dont worry daddy, i just wanted you to have a view" He cursed under his breath as you rubbed the tip of his cock over your lips then you fisted him again, he tore apart your tank top and placed his face between the crook of your neck as the sensations began to build in the pit of his stomach.
"I love you so much.. you’re the best fucking man I have ever known of"
His eyes moistened as you said that, he wanted to believe your words, he truly did but the monster that lived inside him told him otherwise. He didn’t deserve such a precious girl.
"Baby… I’m close"
"I know, I could feel it, you’re throbbing in my hand, so perfect. Need you to cum all over my soaked lips"
He moaned as you said that, a grunting sound escaped his throat as he came hard, the warm cum spilled all over your lips and it made you gasp. Before his mind could wander elsewhere and his need to get hurt could prevail, you scooped his cum on your middle finger and sucked it in, giving him something else to think about. He picked you up in his arms and you both showered together, you kept him engaged in a conversation but you could tell he was lost, he was thinking and you wanted to know everything but not today, he had shared enough tonight and you didn’t want to push him too hard.
You giggled as he dropped you down on the bed, he dressed you up and put on pants so this time you’d be able to sleep with no interruptions but then his phone started to ring and he was about to turn it off but it was Steve so he picked it up immediately.
"Everything okay? I know you have been calling..but you know Peggy, she hid my phone somewhere..we were on a vacation" Steve sighed
"I know Jo told me” Loki sighed as well
“Jo? You mean Jolene?"
"Yeah about that..why the fuck would you —?” You sat up and hugged him from behind to calm his anger down, it worked because his voice softened instantly “Why did you tell her I was here?” he smiled as you kissed on his neck.
“What are you talking about Loki? I didn’t tell her anything, she called me but I strictly told her that you didn’t want to see her" Loki’s eyes widened as Steve said that, if he wasn’t the one to inform Jolene then how did she find out?
How Did she know he was here? Who told her?
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀