Chapter 13
“I’m scared Lolo” your eyes brimmed with tears as you looked at him. You stood at the gates of the orphanage where you were supposed to live now, they said that momy died and she won’t come back, you didn’t want to believe them but lolo said the same thing and you always believed him.
“I know sweet buttons..but I’ll come see you okay? You’ll be safe here I promise” he was on his knees to match your height, he wanted to see you one last time before you go in there, they told him that he wasn’t allowed to meet you or even talk to you from now on, not until you’re an adult. Something about trauma bonding and how it could be damaging for both of you were their reasons but Steve promised him that he’ll keep an eye on you and inform him if something goes wrong.
You hugged him tightly and he wiped his tears before you could see them.
“You promise you’ll come see me?” You asked him, making his heart clench.
“I’ll do my best sweetheart, I promise I’ll do my best and you’ll always have me..never forget” He said to you so you nodded. The warden lady took your hand and started to walk away, you didn’t truly understand that feeling of walking away from him but now you knew it was your first heartbreak.
As he entered the apartment you looked at him, you were in the kitchen making dinner. Did he get your message? He must have, you didn’t check to see if he read it or not, you felt so nervous after sending it, you just wanted him to come back and forget about everything that had happened in the past few days because you really didn’t want him to be upset with you or push you away more. You shouldn’t have said those things to him either, you had no right.
“Dinner is almost ready” you mumbled as he walked into the kitchen, you could feel his eyes on you, he grabbed your arm and turned you towards him, your eyes teared up immediately.
“Why were you scared?” He asked you softly as his thumb brushed over your cheekbones while his forefingers caressed your nape.
“Just ..don’t want to be alone..don’t want to be without you Daddy” you could barely whisper as you felt your throat tightening, his eyes teared up too, you were eager to fall back into the toxicity you both shared before, you were willing to sacrifice your happiness for him and that’s what pierced through his cold stone heart. He can’t hurt you like that anymore, he never wanted to, he had done enough, he always fucked those women and shoved them in your face because you did the same to him, you always told him about your dates and how many times you got fucked to piss him off, now he knew that you were just trying to make him jealous and hurt him because he was hurting you.
“Yeahh?” He whispered in a questioning manner, he placed his fingers of the other hand on your chin and made you look up at him then he leaned down to kiss your forehead.
“Mmhmmm I’m sorry for what I said"
"I am sorry too baby” your eyes flickered as he said that, he hardly ever apologized to you and whenever he did you knew he meant it truly, it wasn’t just a senseless word for him to calm down the situation.
“It’s okay..thank you for coming back..let’s just..forget about the last few days okay?” He smiled but then he shook his head, leaving you all perplexed and wide eyed.
“I don’t want to forget..I want to remember” he pressed his lips on yours and kissed you tenderly, making you gasp into his mouth, you weren’t expecting that “Want to remember what happened between us so I can treat you better” your heart skipped several beats at once at the confession, you got on your tippy toes and flung your arm around his neck to kiss him passionately.
He lifted you up as he kissed you back he felt as if he was starving for a taste even though it hasn’t even been twenty four hours since he had kissed you last. He put you down on the counter as his tongue slipped past your lips, you sucked on the tip of his tongue like a candy and you could feel your whole existence falling apart, his every little touch sent shivers down your spine and you wanted more, you wanted everything. The word obsessed couldn’t suffice what you felt for him.
“Wow” you whispered as he pulled away for a moment, his lips traveled down from your jaw to the side of neck, he sucked on your skin softly while you sat there panting and breathing heavily like a sodden whore “Is this going to be a regular thing because I love it” you smiled as you pressed your face between the crook of his neck to inhale his intoxicating scent. Four years of torture and he finally had you on his mercy.
He didn’t know how long this feeling would last for you, it took Jolene a while to lose interest in him, not sexually but definitely romantically, the mirage was broken everytime he unveiled a layer of his past and the mystery that surrounded him. With you however at least he knew that you knew he had issues, you knew about his past, at least some of it and you still wanted this, it gave him hope.
The dinner burned because he didn’t stop kissing you, he pulled away everytime he needed you two to breathe, but in the meantime his mouth traveled to other places and every touch of his lips made you drip more and more.
“Ohhh goddd” you whispered as he wrapped your legs around his waist, you could feel his bulge rubbing between your legs and you wanted to hump against him like a slut who has been edged for years.
“God doesn’t exist sweetheart but you can chant my name instead” the deep rumbling voice came right from his chest, he could ruin you just by using that voice on you. He took you to the bedroom and laid you down and then he kissed you again, seconds turned into minutes and none of you wanted to stop but he didn’t want to take you like this either. Not so soon, not so frivolously when you have kept yourself untouched just for him. He wanted to treat you so good but he didn’t know how, he wasn’t a gentle lover.
He tried it with Jolene and it felt good in the moment but as soon as his orgasm washed over him he felt extremely pathetic, he felt disgusted by himself, he felt weak, he could see his father asking his slaves to lash him for being such a frail boy, he felt their floggers ripping his flesh open ,burning his skin, and as soon those memories hit him he wanted her to hurt him so he could feel better, she obliged sometimes but other times his requests bothered her so much that she’d just get up and leave him to sleep in the other room, and as soon as she’d leave he’d cry himself to sleep because he felt so rotten from the core.
He didn’t want to ruin you like that because if he would then you’d leave him too and he didn’t think he was strong enough to lose his sweet buttons.
“You’re lost” you caressed his scalp with your fingers and he snapped back to reality, he propped himself on his elbows and laid on his side next to you so you turned towards him too.
“Just thinking about this” you smiled as he said that.
“What changed your mind?" you bit on your lips as you mumbled, your fingers played with the chest hair peeking out of his dark green t-shirt.
"That text you sent"
"What about it?"
"Just you willing to do that for me, I don’t want to hurt you darling” he leaned down to kiss your forehead. He really didn’t want to but he knew that he’d hurt you one way or another.
“I know "
"But I will"
"I know” you answered as you understood what he meant, he didn’t just mean that in an emotional sense but sexual too.
“You don’t know"
"I do..but it doesn’t matter..I’m yours to hurt"
"Shhhh don’t say that” he whispered as he kissed you again, a sick perverted part of him felt turned on by that statement, you wanting him to hurt you, asking him to mark you, blood rushed to his cock at the way you just wanted to serve yourself to him no matter what. You pulled on his hair slightly and he moaned in your mouth, you knew he liked hurting and being hurt during sex but you were not going to do that to him, not in the ways he was used to being hurt, he never talked to you about it but you knew he was abused as a child, physically, mentally and sexually. You knew that’s how he developed this need to feel pleasure through extreme pain but you won’t allow him to punish himself like that forever.
“It’s okay.. it’s okay.. I promise it’s okay..I’ll take care of you, we will be okay. Youuu and meee for life. Right?” Yours eyes became moist and so did his as you said that.
“You and me for Life. I promise, I’ll never let go, I’ll never leave you"
The next morning he woke you up with tender kisses, you bathed together and he fed you, then he kissed you again before he took you to the set, you couldn’t focus on the work because your thoughts were interrupted by the man of your dreams who continued to give you "I want to kiss you right now” eyes, as soon as the director yelled cut and you got a few minutes of break he grabbed your hand and took you to a secluded corner of the set, in a second you found yourself pressed against the walls and trapped between his body.
“I couldn’t focus at all, I got yelled at by Nick” Nick was your director and he wasn’t happy with you today.
“Mmmhmm want me to beat him up for you?” You moaned into his mouth as he said that.
“Noooo I think we should let him go since it’s my fault ” you chuckled so he pulled away and cupped your cheeks.
“Focus on the work darling, we can do this at home, it’s just you and me there..be a good girl for me yeah?"
"Yeahhh daddy” You kissed him feverishly and then you stopped because of this one thought that continued to bother you.
“Are you going to fuck other women still? Because Karina from the crew is waiting in line” Your eyes teared up as you questioned him, he did it before but at least you didn’t know how it felt to have him suck onto yours lips this way, you didn’t know how good he tasted or what a fine kisser he was, you have been jealous of women in his life for as long as you could remember so even just the thought of him still wanting to fuck someone else filled you with extreme contempt and sadness.
“Do you want me to?” He smirked as he questioned so you tried to unhook your legs but he grabbed them and kept you pinned against the wall “Just joking baby.. the only woman I’m going to touch from now on is you..only you..i promise..i know it won’t be easy to trust me but you know I keep my promises” He really did and that’s was the one thing he at least liked about himself.
“okayyy..I trust you"
"Yeah????"
"Mmmmmm"
Then he kissed you again. And again. And again.
While you were working he received a call from that casting director that you auditioned for yesterday, he wanted to see you, alone. That never was a good sign, the audition was for a film and it’s something you have always wanted to be a part of so he really wanted you to bag this.
"Something wrong?” You asked him as you caressed his shoulder while he was driving you to the studio where you were meeting the casting guy Stephen.
“He wants to see you.. alone" he sighed as he answered. You knew what it meant, you have been here before. They wanted to see you alone when they wanted you to fuck them.
"Ohh” you felt sad but then you were so giddy with this new development in your personal life that you really didn’t care about the professional one at the moment. As you reached the destination you took your seat belt off and climbed over his lap, taking him by surprise but he wasn’t complaining
“It’s okay..we will get other offers” you mumbled softly as you kissed the tip of his nose “Thank you for always keeping me safe and protected from them, I don’t think I have ever told you how much I appreciate not being exploited by every perv out there” you whispered in his ear as your hands rubbed over his crotch.
How could you say something sweet like that and accompany it with such a naughty gesture? He moaned and you felt him hardening at your touch. His hand sneaked inside the shirt you were wearing and you gasped as he touched your bare skin.
“Want to thank me for real? Maybe someday you can show me how you use my briefs to get yourself off"
"Daddddddy” you gasped at the sudden filth coming out of his mouth but you really wanted to bathe in the said filth.
“Isn’t that what you did, hmm? Been thinking about it. Did you wear it while you touched your wet little cunt or you humped yourself against it sweetheart?”
“Ohhh fuckk..the second thing” you palmed his bulge and he let out a shaky breath.
“You’re a desperate little slut aren’t you? Always craving my attention..well you have it now baby..you have all of my attention on you” You cupped his cheeks to kiss him deeply and he responded with equal intensity but then he pulled away soon after, it still felt like a dream if you were being honest with yourself. “Mmmm we need to stop sweetheart, you have a meeting to attend” he reminded you why you both were there so you tried to calm yourself down, it was harder for him to calm down though.
As you met the guy he asked to just see you so you looked at Loki and he nodded, you were auditioning for a side role anyways so It didn’t really matter. As you went inside the room, there were three other people, one of them was Jane foster, you recognised her, she was a former A lister and was a big name in the industry now as a producer. You were surprised a little to see her, they immediately gave you a a few lines and asked you to enact it,
“Ummm I’m sorry I’m a little confused..what is happening?" You asked Jane so she smiled at you.
"Y/n I think you are packing a lot of talent in there, I saw your tapes from yesterday and I’m very impressed, that’s the script for the main lead, I’d like you to read a line or two for me if you don’t mind” she smiled at the end of her sentence so you nodded.
You felt nervous because you weren’t prepared for this, you read the lines and they sent you right away, they said they’ll call you in a day or two.
“What’s special about her?” As you left, Stephen asked Jane so she smiled.
“I received an anonymous email yesterday and it intrigued me.. remember that psychopath from NYC..that major cult scandal like 12 years ago?" She asked him.
"Ohhh yeah didn’t he escape a few days ago?"
"Exactly..she’s that girl from that cult, the last sacrifice thing..she’s y/n y/l/n” Stephen’s eyes widened in realization, you had changed your last name and that’s why he wasn’t able to recognise you before.
“The publicity we will get if we launch her is going to be insane.. especially with that psycho on the loose, we can reel in a lot of people by using her tragic past” She smiled at him and he agreed. They just wanted to use you for their own good.
As you came out Loki seemed a little worried, you were in there for a long time.
“What happened?” He asked you so you told him everything and he was surprised too, it’s not that he didn’t believe in your talent as an actress but he knew how things happened in Hollywood in this day and age, one either needed to sell their soul or have a strong connection to bag such a film, rarely people got big just on the basis of their talent.
He took you out for dinner first, it felt like a date to you. Then he took you home but he couldn’t stop thinking about this, your safety was his responsibility and he had to know if those people had your best interest in heart.
“Lost again” you mumbled in his ears as you climbed on his bed after showering, he smiled as your freshly showered wet half naked body laid on top of him, you just had a tank top on with a pair of booty shorts.
“I’m right here” he pushed your hair aside and grabbed your neck to flip you under him.
“What if I get this movie? It’s going to be a huge deal right?” You asked him, you felt nervous about the possibility, as much as you enjoyed acting you weren’t sure if you really wanted to make it that big, considering your past and everything - you knew things will come out if you get famous and you knew he’d be dragged along with it too, that’s the last thing you both needed in life, people’s judgment.
“It will be..but that’s what you want right?” He asked you so you nodded, you always convinced him that you wanted this in life, you wanted to be an actor, to work in films, to be famous and maybe you really did want that but now as he was on top of you, sucking on your lips ever so softly, you wondered if that was really what you craved or needed in life.
“Yeahhh” you lied to him because you didn’t think you were supposed to talk about this yet when you two had just started this thing with each other. Besides, it’s not as if you’ll get the film for sure.
“You must be tired sweetheart..get your sleep okay? Need a massage?” He asked you softly and your eyes teared up. Yeah you loved him so much it was unreal.
“Yess pls daddy” you responded so he kissed your forehead before he got off the bed then he came back with hot oil, as soon as his hands rubbed your legs soothingly you couldn’t stop yourself from falling asleep, unlike all those times before there was no manipulation involved this time, he truly just wanted to help you relax, and as your little snores reached his ears his eyes softened.
He turned the lights off to lay down next to you and held onto you tightly, he was terrified about everything - this relationship, your feelings about him, That bastard Odin running free in the world, everything made him wish that he was able to hide you two somewhere far away so you’d be safe with him but it wasn’t possible.
As his arms wrapped around you, your sleep got disrupted a little, you felt him pressing soft little kisses on your neck and it made you smile. This was probably the best day of your life, you didn’t remember being this happy before.
“I love you my sweet sweet buttons” And the sweet whisper of the forgotten petname as well the love confession made your breath hitch in your chest. Truly the best day ever.