3
Jade's POV
Ugh, she just twists everything. One second, I'm practically burning holes in her with my eyes, and the next, I'm totally thrown off, like, what was I even mad about? How does she do that? How does she make me doubt myself so easily?
It's not just her charm – and believe me, she's got a ton of that. It's more like... she doesn't even try. She just is. No effort in how she moves, no strain in her expressions, like she's not even trying to be anything but herself, and everyone eats it up. She's like a magnet, and I'm just some scrap metal stuck spinning around her, whether I want to or not.
And Beck... I can't even think about him and her together right now. It's too much. I know I should trust him, that he'd never cheat, but she's always there. Too close, laughing too loud at his jokes, looking at him with those eyes that make people think they've known him forever.
And I can't do anything. I can't stop her from being everywhere. I can't stop her from being, well, perfect.
But I can't let her win. I can't let her make me doubt myself, or my relationship with Beck, or the fact that I've worked my butt off to get where I am, while she just... exists. I'm not going to lose to her. No way.
I won't let her take Beck. I won't let her take this school. I won't let her take anything.
I need to figure her out. I need to find her secret. There's no way someone can be this perfect without something being off, right?
Maybe if I watch her closer, I'll find something. Something to knock her down a peg. Something to show everyone she's not untouchable. Not even Vega.
For now, though, I'll have to pretend I don't care. Pretend she doesn't make my blood boil or my heart race. Pretend she doesn't make me question everything I thought I knew.
Because, honestly, the more I try to push her away, the more I wonder if I'm the one getting sucked in.
God, this is a total mess.
Lunchtime. The cafeteria buzzed, trays clattering, students chattering. And there she was, the source of my irritation, sitting with Tori – Vega – smiling like she hadn't just turned my world upside down.
I tried to ignore them, really, I did. But the way Vega tossed her hair and laughed at something Tori said? It was impossible to look away.
Tori looked... content. At ease. Like she finally fit in, and it ticked me off how natural it seemed for her. She wasn't struggling to find her place like I was, which just made the whole thing worse.
As I headed for the lunch line, I noticed Beck standing with his friends, but his eyes kept drifting to their table. Vega was talking animatedly, gesturing wildly as she told some ridiculous story – probably about how she'd saved a busload of orphans or something equally unbelievable. Honestly, if she wasn't so talented, she'd be completely unbearable.
And yet, I saw the way Beck's lips quirked up. How he was clearly entertained. And I felt a knot tighten in my stomach.
I wasn't the jealous type. Or at least, I didn't think I was. But the way he looked at her... it made my insides twist.
After grabbing my food, I headed back to my table, keeping my head down, avoiding eye contact, especially with Beck. He didn't need to see me glaring at him.
But of course, Vega noticed me. She waved enthusiastically, like we were old friends, even though I barely tolerated her. Her grin was as wide and annoying as ever, and I forced a smile – genuine enough not to look like a psycho, but not so bright she'd get the wrong idea.
"Hey, Jade!" she called, her voice light and teasing. "How's your day going? You look... well, you look good, actually."
My face flushed, and I tried to stay calm. "Thanks," I mumbled, keeping my distance. "I'm fine."
Her smile didn't waver. "You sure? You seem a little... tense. Is everything alright?" She tilted her head, those annoyingly wide eyes looking at me like she was actually concerned. Yeah, right.
I couldn't help myself. I raised an eyebrow. "Why do you care?"
She blinked, but answered without hesitation. "Because I think you're awesome, Jade. You just seem a little... guarded. We could hang out sometime, you know? Get to know each other better."
My heart skipped a beat – whether from anger or something else, I couldn't tell. I swallowed the lump in my throat, forcing a laugh. "Oh, I'm good, thanks. I don't really hang out with people who—" I stopped myself before I said something I'd regret.
Vega didn't seem offended. Instead, she grinned wider, like she was enjoying the challenge. "Okay, no problem! Just thought you might like someone to talk to."
Before I could reply, Beck caught my eye. His expression was unreadable, and I couldn't tell if he was annoyed with me or just lost in thought.
But he didn't look at me the way he looked at Vega. That stung more than I expected.
I turned away, walking to my table as quickly as I could without making it obvious how rattled I was.
I couldn't let Vega get to me. I couldn't let her win.
But why did it feel like I already had?
I sat down, staring at my tray, and tried to shake off the feeling that something, or someone, was slowly unraveling everything I thought I knew.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things had definitely taken a nosedive in the past few days.
Beck and I had barely spoken since that awkward lunch. It wasn't just the Vega thing, though that was a big part of it. There was this weird tension hanging between us, a distance that seemed to grow every time we were together.
And today, it all just exploded.
We were sitting in our usual spot in the courtyard, and he was being so distant it was driving me crazy. The silence was heavy, like there was this huge, unspoken thing between us.
Which, of course, there was.
I was keeping something from him—my thing—and I just wasn't ready to share it. Not with anyone.
Beck finally broke the silence. "Jade, what's up with you lately?" His voice was tight, and he was looking at me like he was trying to read my mind. "You've been... off. Not yourself. I get that things are weird with Tori, but this is different."
I took a deep breath, my heart pounding. He wouldn't understand. No way. If I told him, I'd lose him for sure.
"Beck, I'm fine," I said, maybe a little too fast, a little too defensive. I could feel my face getting hot. "There's nothing wrong. I've just got a lot on my mind, okay?"
He shook his head, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. "No, it's not okay. I can't keep pretending everything's fine when you're obviously not being honest. You're shutting me out, Jade, and I don't know why."
My chest tightened, and I clenched my fists in my lap, trying to keep it together. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready for everything to fall apart because of this one secret.
"It's not that simple, Beck," I whispered, the words coming out in a rush.
"What do you mean?" He leaned forward, his expression softening a bit, but his voice was still urgent. "Jade, I care about you. I want to help. But you have to let me in. I can't be with you if you won't let me see all of you."
I felt tears welling up, but I couldn't let them fall. Not here. Not when I knew how much I'd hurt him if I said what I needed to say.
"I can't tell you, Beck," I muttered, barely audible. "I can't tell you what's wrong."
Beck's expression hardened. "What do you mean, you can't? Jade, you can't keep pushing me away like this. I thought we were... I thought we were better than this."
His words hit me hard. I thought we were better than this.
It felt like everything I'd been holding in was about to spill out, and I didn't know if I could stop it.
"I'm sorry," I said, my voice cracking. "I just... I'm not ready. There's something about me... something you don't know. And I can't— I can't tell you."
Beck looked at me like I'd just punched him. His eyes searched mine, trying to find some answer. "What are you talking about? What is it, Jade?"
My throat tightened, and I couldn't breathe. I knew if I said it, everything would change.
"I can't," I repeated, shaking my head, desperate for him to understand. "You wouldn't get it. You wouldn't look at me the same way. It's just... it's not something I'm ready to share yet."
His face hardened. "So, you're just going to let this go because of some... secret you won't even tell me about?" He sounded hurt, and it broke my heart.
"I'm not trying to hurt you, Beck. You have to believe me," I said, my voice thick with emotion. "But I need more time. I just... I need more time to figure out how to tell you."
But he wasn't listening. He stood up abruptly, his chair scraping loudly. "I don't know if I can do this, Jade. I don't know if I can be with someone who won't trust me enough to be real."
His words hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Beck, please," I whispered, my voice cracking. "I'm sorry."
But he was already walking away, his back to me, and I felt the space between us growing wider, deeper, until there was no way back.
And just like that, everything I'd been dreading came true. I lost him.
The next day at school, I was running on fumes. Honestly, after everything with Beck, just keeping my head up felt like a marathon. But then I saw Tori at her locker. She was staring down at her books, like she was trying to psych herself up for the day.
And then I saw her face.
Her right eye was swollen, and a dark bruise was already blooming around it. It looked like someone had punched her, and my stomach just dropped.
I had no clue what happened, but something in the way she was trying to hide it, the way she was holding herself, told me there was more to it.
I hesitated, then walked over, my own emotional baggage feeling extra heavy. She hadn't noticed me yet, so I took a deep breath, trying to sound casual.
"Vega?" I said, trying to keep my voice even.
She flinched a little, then quickly turned to face me. Her expression went from surprise to guarded. "Oh. Hey, Jade."
"Hey," I said, stepping closer. "What happened to your face?"
She gave this quick, awkward laugh, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Oh, it's nothing. Really. Just... my sister. We were, like, messing around, and she accidentally hit me. It's no big deal."
I stared at her, not sure what to believe. The bruise was way too big for some playful accident. But she wasn't in the mood to talk, and her tone made it clear she wanted to drop it.
But I couldn't just ignore it.
"Tori, that looks pretty bad," I said, my voice softer than I meant it to be. "Are you sure you're okay?"
Tori shrugged, giving me a tight smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Seriously. It's nothing."
I didn't push, but the unease in my gut wouldn't budge. Something about her answer felt off, like she was trying too hard to brush it off. It felt like she was hiding something, but I didn't know if she was ready to talk.
"Okay, if you say so," I muttered, glancing around to make sure no one was looking. "But if you ever want to talk, I'm here."
She nodded quickly, the smile still plastered on her face, even though it looked fake. "Thanks, Jade. But really, it's fine."
I didn't believe her, but I let it go. I just nodded and started to walk away, my mind spinning. Why wouldn't she tell me?
I couldn't shake the feeling that Tori was hiding something, just like I was. Something deeper.
I couldn't help but wonder what her family life was like, what was really going on behind closed doors. Whatever it was, it didn't feel like just some "accident."
But for now, I just kept my distance... and hoped whatever it was wouldn't drag her under like it almost did me.
The anger was a knot in my chest, twisting tighter with every step I took through the school. Replaying yesterday's conversation with Beck just made me feel more betrayed. He just didn't get it. He couldn't. And now, he was gone. He chose to walk away, and I didn't even know if I could, or wanted to, fix it.
Honestly, I didn't care if it hurt. I was just plain mad. Mad at him. Mad at Vega. Mad at myself for letting everything get so messed up. I needed to explode, to yell, to do something.
So, I marched through the halls, fueled by pure rage, until I spotted him.
He was sitting by the lockers, back to me, shoulders slumped like he just didn't care anymore.
Well, I was going to make him care.
I stormed up to him, fists clenched. "Beck!"
He looked up, startled, and stood to face me. His expression softened when he saw my face, but that just made me angrier. I didn't want his sympathy. I wanted him to understand.
"What do you want, Jade?" he asked quietly, but I could hear the weariness in his voice.
"What do I want?" I snapped, my voice sharper and louder than I meant. "You walked away from me. From us. And now you're just gonna stand there like nothing happened? Like I'm supposed to just... forget everything and pretend it's fine?"
His expression flickered with guilt, but he just sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't want to walk away, Jade. I didn't. But you wouldn't let me in. You didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on, and I—"
"You think I don't trust you?" I cut him off, my voice cracking as all the stuff I'd been holding in started to spill out. "You think I don't care about you? You think I wanted to keep this secret? You don't get it, Beck. You don't know what it's like to hide something this huge, something that could destroy everything if it came out. It's not just some stupid secret, it's who I am, and you... you don't deserve to have that kind of weight put on you."
Beck's eyes softened, and I could tell he wanted to reach out, say something comforting, but I wasn't having it.
"You think it's easy for me?" I continued, my chest tight. "I've been hiding this my whole life. And then you just waltz in, asking questions like it's nothing. Like I'm supposed to just spill everything. I'm not ready for that. I don't know if I ever will be. And you walking away, acting like I'm some kind of burden..."
I stopped, out of breath, realizing I'd been shouting, my hands shaking.
Beck just stood there, his mouth opening and closing like he didn't know what to say. I could see him thinking, but he wasn't getting it.
"Jade, I didn't walk away because I think you're a burden," he said finally, his voice calm but firm. "I walked away because I want to help you, and you're pushing me away. I want you to trust me. I want you to be real with me. I know you're hiding something, something that's eating you up inside, and I can't stand not knowing. But I can't be with you if you're going to keep shutting me out. It's not about deserving to know, Jade. It's about being honest with each other. If you can't do that, then... I don't know if this will work."
His words hit me like a punch in the gut, and all the anger just drained away, leaving this hollow, painful feeling.
I looked at him, feeling the weight of the decision hanging over us. He wasn't going to let this go. He wanted the truth, and I wasn't ready to give it. Not when I couldn't even face it myself.
"I'm not ready to tell you everything," I said softly, the anger replaced with a quiet hurt. "I don't know if I ever will be. But I'm not going to let you make me feel like I'm a problem, either."
He stepped closer, his eyes searching mine. "I'm not making you feel like a problem, Jade. But I can't keep pretending everything's okay when it's not. I just want to help. I want to be there for you."
I could see he meant it, and for a second, I wanted to just tell him everything. But I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough for that.
"I don't know how to fix this," I whispered, a tear slipping down my cheek. "I just... don't know what to do anymore."
Beck looked at me for a long moment, then sighed. "Neither do I, Jade. But I can't keep doing this if you won't let me in."
I swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears. "Then maybe it's better if we don't do this at all."
He stood there, silent, then nodded slowly. "Maybe you're right."
With that, he turned and walked away, leaving me standing there, my heart in pieces.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt completely, utterly alone.