I wish we meet under different circumcises.
“Shit” Deadpool groaned as he woke up to dried blood sealing his eyes shut. Sighing he plied his eyes open to his bathroom ceiling.
Finally, he’s up! Do you know how long we waited for you to wake up? We are supposed to be there in 10 minutes!
“Yeah, yeah, yeah” Deadpool said annoyed. Man, what does it take for 5 seconds of silence around here?
Apparently, a shot to the head.
After he scrubbed the dried blood from his body he put on his suit and weapon to go find his client. When he found the place, a warehouse, crazy right? I mean so cliche. Criminals need to step up their game. For once why can’t it be Chuck E cheese, Mexican restaurant, or maybe a frozen yogurt place? Mmm that would be nice at least I could get something to eat while listening to all their bullshit.
I could definitely go for some frozen yogurt and tacos. I’m starving!
You’re always hungry which is weird since you aren’t actually able to eat anything.
I don’t need to eat to know how delicious frozen yogurt and tacos are. Besides, I know that you are craving it as much as I am. Wade! Wade!! WADE!
“God enough with the yelling! What do you want?” Deadpool said out loud which got him some weird looks from the birds eating a stale piece of bread on the ground “What are you looking at?” he asked. The birds didn’t answer and just kept staring.
I want tacos and frozen yogurt.
“Mmm that does sound good” he said thinking about the last time he ate “First we need to find out what the client wants then tacos and frozen yogurt.”
…do you think our soulmate likes frozen yogurt?
Yellow said in a quiet voice. Wade stopped “we don’t talk about them” he said in a gruff tone.
We don’t talk about them because there is no soulmate for us, we don't even deserve one! Even if we did, do you think that someone, anyone would want this!? We are killers!
Wade balls up his fists and bites his lip so as to not shed tears, he can taste the blood, but as fast as it comes it goes. Taken away by his healing factor, its moments like when he wishes he didn’t have one so he can feel the pain he is inflicting on himself.
We are insane!
He goes to the closest cement wall and starts punching to relieve the stress of his head, to cause the same amount of pain to his physical body and the pain his is feeling in his mind.
We are UGLY AND STUPID!
After his tenth punch to the wall, he hears a crack its unmistakable, he has done this enough times to know that he just broke his knuckles. He leans his back against the stone breathing concentrating on the pain before it leaves. The tears he tried to stop started flowing under his mask.
No one would ever want that, and I pity the one stuck with us.
The voices are silent so is Wade for a while, but then remember that he has a job to do. So he clenches his jaw and turns it off all the emotions and pretends like nothing matters. Pretend like he’s fine.
You see, in this world everyone has a soulmate, someone to love you, flaws and all. You would know you had found your soulmate when you touched them. You know your soulmate with just one look at their face, but the bond really forms after touching your soulmate, you will feel a pull to them not a strong one, just one in the very back of your mind pushes you to be with this person, but it is very weak. The death of a soulmate after one month of knowing one's soulmate is devastating. It can cause the other person violent mood swings and depression for months. In extreme case it has lead to suicide. You can reject a soulmate, but this rarely happens unless in cases of abuse or some other reasons. Which is close to never.
Some people go all their lives without finding a soulmate, others don’t find theirs well into their 50s, and on multiple occasions there have been people with platonic soulmates. So most people live their lives not believing they will find their soulmate or sometimes will meet their soulmate, but don’t want to ruin their life that they already made so they will stay with whoever they are already with. You can say reject your soulmate though it will cause you to feel empty for an unknown amount of time. Some had lasted hours, days,weeks, months, and even years. This can sometimes make one fall into depression.
As Wade walks into the warehouse he sees 11 people inside the building. What looks to be a teenager or a man in his early 20s with a potato sack over his head and tied to a chair, two men with guns to the left and right of the boy, and 2 men each covering all 4 of the exits in the building. Then there's also a man in the rafters of the building with a sniper rifle trained on Wade, but he doesn’t think he’s supposed to know that so he pretends not to. And finally is what he assumes to be his client by how she walks towards wade to greet him with an awkward smile.
She had a bob haircut and wore a pantsuit. Wade chuckled who wears a pantsuit in this kind of situation. Though there wasn’t really a dress code for these kinds of things and the pantsuit made him feel like he was in an office. There was a gun in the back of her pants almost hidden by the blazer she wore but not enough for Wade not to notice. He also took notice of the knife in her blazer pocket and in her boot. She came prepared, she didn’t trust him which was the first smart thing he's seen today.
He never liked it when people smiled at him because he knew it was fake and he hated pleasantries; they were just a ploy to manipulate people into doing what the other wanted. So right off the bat Wade didn’t like her.
“Deadpool, your reputation precedes you. I’ve heard so much about you.” She laughed. The look in her eyes when she said that made it seem like she knew a secret. She didn’t. Wade was well known in the world of mercenaries, but basically a ghost to the rest of the world, which can be a good or bad thing depending on the circumstances. He was known for always completing the job in the most violent way, as well as being unpredictable, but clients didn’t really care much as long as he did what they wanted.
“What do you need me to do?” Wade asked bored already.
“We need to get information out of someone, but they aren’t talking.” The lady said as she walked Wade to the tied up boy.
“What do you need to know?”
“This boy knows the secret identity of a famous vigilante that goes by the name Spider-man and he’s been causing to many problems lately so I’ve got orders to put an end to–”
“Okay, Okay relax lady I don’t need to know all this nor do I care.”
Who’s spider-man? Have we heard of him?
Probably some kid trying to be a superhero it's what all the kids are doing today. He must be stupid to be getting involved with these guys, almost feel bad for him. I wonder what else has changed since we got back?
Who cares, let's just get the job done.
Wade walks up to the boy thinking of ways to get the information out of him.
We should start with the fingernails.
No, just go straight for the finger, they always talk once they realize they could lose something it’s the fastest way.
Wade decided to go with Yellow's plan besides he was really hungry.
Wade reaches to pull the sack off his head while asking the girl “What’s his name?”
Once the sack is pulled off Wade mutters “Fuck, this kid is unlucky.” Realizing that it’s going to be awhile before he’s able to get something to eat.
“Peter Parker”
Wade’s motherfucking soulmate.