Abstinence Control
Trixie, “Lords, I’ve come to tell you that Agent Cannibal and Kai are making amazing progress. They’re already crossing the sea and delivering Danny to Westeros.”
Lord Alpha, “They’re still alive? “
Lord Beta, “No agent has survived this long in a Song of Ice and Fire. We were beginning to lose all hope. If they manage to accomplish the mission we should reward them with the title of Fandom Guardians.”
Lord Omega, “Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We can’t make just anyone a Guardian.”
Trixie smiled, “I believe they can do it. We haven’t seen agents this talented since we recruited Dean Winchester, Calypso, and Arcana.”
Lord Alpha spoke up, “Speaking of Calypso and Arcana, I’d like you to summon them.”
Trixie nodded, “I’ll send an urgent alert immediately.”
They all stood together in the Council Room of the High Simplords. A bright light filled the room as the agents spawned in. Calypso arrived first. As usual she presented herself as a black cat, a broad smile was fixed on her furry lips. “I was in the middle of a bath.”
Arcana arrived next. Calypso's more serious counterpart wore an annoyed expression. Her raven colored hair was braided back. She crossed her arms, “It's my day off.”
“We have a mission for you. We’ll pay handsomely for it considering the difficulty.”
“I’m listening.” Arcana raised a brow.
Alpha, “From popular demand we’ve been trying to alter the timeline of A Song of Ice and Fire. No agent has ever completed the mission or even returned alive. As experienced and respected Guardians, We’ve decided to dispatch the two of you to prevent the Dance of the Dragons. Without excessive force we believe you two are capable of saving House Targaryen and their dragons. Should you fail we can scrub your mark from the world and put our faith in the newbies. Should you succeed, it will make things much easier for the new recruits.”
Beta, “Trixie believes they have potential. It would be a shame for them to die so soon.”
Calypso grew serious, “Why would you send new recruits to an S rank mission?”
“We didn’t want to risk any more quality agents.” Omega said. “One of you guardians is worth a hundred of them. Perhaps even more.”
Arcana glanced at Calypso, “Aside from avoiding excessive force are there any other mission requirements?”
Beta spoke, “Fan favorites must survive and at least one of the fans biggest ships must be made. We cannot continue to thrive without satisfied fans, and fan service will never fail us.”
Calypso licked her paw, “OOOOOOO character ships.”
Arcana sighed and typed into her pipboy. “Let me find the ideal time and place to spawn.”
Calypso stretched her back, “Let's make this mission even more fun. Let's pick an unpopular character and try to make one of their ships happen.”
Arcana smiled, “Sure. Let's make it a challenge. I want to do an Aegon ship.”
“OOOOO I do love your ideas Arcana. Which Aegon ship?”
Arcanas' smile grew, “Aegon + Aemond ship vs an Aegon + Jacaerys ship. Battle of the ships.”
“How exciting! Who are you shipping Aegon with?” Calypso asked.
Arcana decided on a place and time. She was already concocting an elaborate plan on how they would save House Targaryen AND make their ships happen. “I’m Shipping Aegon with Jacaerys. I do love my Strong boys.”
Calypso transformed, becoming a gleefully naked woman, “Aegon gives me polyamorous vibes. I think he’ll love them both so I ship him with both.”
Arcana laughed and shook her head. “If he chooses both I will give you anything you want.”
“I would like a hundred person Orgy! Oh and for Viserys to be with Aemma again.” Calypso said excitedly.
Arcana laughed, “Considering how unlikely that is, I’ll make that bet. Hell, I’ll heal Viserys to his prime health and start a spank train.”
“DEAL!”
The Lords shook their heads. Arcana and Calypso were good at their jobs, but good heavens they were such an interesting duo. Arcana and Calypso took their leave. Traveling over a hundred years in the past to Westeros.
Another Agent burst into the room. His eyes were frantic at his side was Dean Winchester. Appearing distressed they went to stand in the middle of the room. Dean cleared his throat and nudged his fellow agent. The agent let out a heavy breath, “We have bad news, Lords.”
“Speak.” They said together.
“Underworld has fallen along with a few other Fandoverses.” The Agent said, his voice shaky.
The Lord exchanged looks. Worry painted their faces. Beta squeezed their hands together until they ached. “How could this have happened?”
The Agent looked to Dean, “We have Rogue Guardians. ”
Omega stood up, “NAME THEM.”
Dean kept a calm voice, “Galaxy Angel has gone dark along with DickBean.”
Alpha gasped, “How could this be? They are our best Guardians, our most faithful.”
“We have reasons to believe they will be recruiting more agents and Guardians to join them.
Beta closed their eyes trying to remain calm. “We need to nip this in the bud. We need all hands on deck to find these traitors.”
“That's not possible, so many of our Agents and Guardians are currently in the field on very tedious tasks. They’re absence will undo so much of their hard work. We can’t let more fandomverses fall.”
“What are the motives? Have they pledged to our Sworn enemies or are they independent?”
“We are not sure just yet. There is not enough information available so soon.” Dean stated.
The Agent with Dean looked around, “Sworn enemies?”
The Lords sighed heavily, “There is an ancient order that has existed since the beginning of time called the Abstinence Control. A league of unhappy Elders that want to control all of the magical sex magic flowing through the multiverse. There is nothing more powerful than the concentrated sexual magic of fans across the fandomverse. They have waged a holy crusade against us for ages, they are hell bent on having full control over people and their minds. Their main goal is to destroy and ban all fanfictions and then censor and control all fanbases.”
The Agent pressed a hand against his chest, “All fanbases?”
“Yes child, ALL fan bases will become vanilla under their control. Last time we fought we had to call upon the Banners of the Monster Fuckers and the most unhinged super Simps to save te Animeverse. They wanted to ban hentai and softporn anime forever.”
“Say it ain't so!”
“It is true.”
The agent shook his head. “Imagine a world without perfectly angled shots of big breasted anime girls in suggestive scenarios.”
The Lords sighed, “There once was a time when they felt certain characters in fandoms were too sexy and needed to be recast or have a redesign. During the Fandom dark ages, we all had to fight for the right to simp for fictional characters and monsters.”
The agent clenched his hands into fists, “We can’t let them prevail. We must recruit more simps and increase the production of smut. They must write the smuttiest smuts to ever be smutted.”
The Lords nodded their head, “We will need more agents for the inevitable battle to come.”
Dean spoke up, “I recommend more House of the Dragon fans, Targaryen Smut has grown in popularity and taken the world by storm.”
The Lords nodded, “Call all of the banners. If the Abstinence Control truly is resurging we will need every ounce of sexual energy to defeat them. Call the Monster Lovers, the Slice of Lifers, the Fluffers, the Angsty, the dreams and nightmares; the Fated Mates, Historical Lovers, Modern Era lovers, the Friends to Lovers, the Enemies to lovers, the Possessive Fae Kings, and everything in between.”
“YES SIR.”
“We will find these traitors and stop their plans before its too late. The Fate of the Fandomverse hangs in the balance.” The Lords waved their hands demanding that Dean and his fellow agent carry out their tasks.
The Lords joined hands and focused their energies. If Galaxy Angel and DickBean were against them they would build an alliance in no time. They knew too much, they were too powerful. They had no choice but to call upon their secret weapon.
Somewhere in the universe floated a planet called simply "Earth" and among the otherwise unremarkable population of this planet were a cluster of heroes who had saved the Universe once before. Now in the darkest of times, they would be called again to save the future of all Fandoms.
Ninja Brian noticed the NSP alarm going off in the space ship. He ran outside to fetch Danny who was blindfolded by the pool with Aaron making abstract finger paintings. He snatched the blindfold from his eyes. Ninja Brian held up a spandex bodysuit and a cape.
Danny slowly rose to his feet. “The universe is in danger again. I always knew the day would come when we would have to return.”
Danny suited up and headed to their spaceship. He sat in the captain's seat. “Take me to the HQ of the Fandom Guardians.”
A loud roar filled the air as the ship came to life. Neon lights filled the cockpit in a soft blue glow. Slowly the ship lifted from the ground. DQEJKLGDEYFLIH the ship suddenly dropped back down to the ground. “What's going on?”
Ninja Brian showed him they had gone too long without maintenance. Danny sighed and together they exited the spaceship. Returning to the house Aaron stood with knowing stare, “The Ships not working.”
“No.” Danny sat down, “It looks like the universe is doomed until we get it fixed.”
Aaron lifted his arm and typed into his pipboy. Within moments there was a loud clash outside. When the commotion stopped The front door flew open. A tall silhouette stood in the thick mist. The bright lights of his glorious spaceship filled the house. Danny and Ninja Brian shielded their eyes. Aaron put on some shades.
The figure stepped into the room and removed his shades. “I heard you needed a spaceship to save the Fandomverse.”
meanwhile...
Kitten stepped into the house. The car was gone and the apartment was dead silent. She explored the apartment searching the bedrooms and closets and even the backyard and attic for her sisters Junette and Veronica but they were nowhere to be found. She grunted in frustration and spoke in her tiny voice, "Where the fuck is everyone?"
