Isekai Heros
“Damn I’m out of snacks.” How was I supposed to enjoy my Spooky Scary Someday without snacks? I sighed and grabbed my keys off the table. It would be a quick trip to the store and back.
My sister/roommate came out of her room and caught me just before I walked out the door. “WAIT. I thought we were watching SSS?”
She held up her phone to show me he uploaded. The video began to autoplay. She quickly paused it.
“Not without snacks we’re not.”
I stood patiently while Junette got dressed and ready to go. We walked outside together and climbed into the car. The sun was low in the sky, just barely peeking over the horizon. I hated driving at night, but it had to be done. Fortunately I was wearing my comfort hoodie, and there was still some daylight left.
It wasn’t a big city so the drive was quick. While at the store I grabbed some Nutrigrain bars, a bag of cool ranch Doritos, and an Orange Juice. Junette threw a few things in the cart as well. A sudden feeling of unease came over me. I looked around nervously. Nothing was out of the ordinary.
“Hey, you alright?” Junette asked.
I tried to shake off the feeling of unease. “Yeah, just can’t wait to get back to the apartment.”
Junette , “I know you hate driving at night. If it's bothering you I can just drive us back.”
My eyes glittered, “THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU BESTIE.”
Junette laughed and accepted the keys. I pay for our stuff and we head outside to the lot. Feeling so much better, I slipped into the passenger seat. The feeling of unease returned. I stared in the mirror and noticed a Truck parked nearby, a familiar symbol was on the hood. There was no one inside but it roared to life seconds after we pulled from the lot. I tried to tell myself that I was being paranoid and my social anxiety was simply getting the best of me.
“Veronica, I think we’re being followed.” Her voice shook.
“You noticed the creepy truck has been following us too?”
“I don’t want them to know where we live, I’ll just try to shake them.”
“Yeah yeah, that sounds like a great idea. If all else fails, we can stop in a super public well lit area.”
We drove a while longer hoping to shake them. Right when I was about to lose hope, The truck passed us. I let out a relieved breath and laughed. I guess we just so happened to be going in the same direction.
June screamed when the truck flew in front of us. The Truck transformed and stood up.
“HOLY SHIT IT'S OPTIMUS PRIME!”
We swerved off the road onto a random dirt trail. We continued to scream as it followed us. There was a loud explosion and the car flipped. Glass rained down around us. I held my head, adrenaline pumped through me. I ripped off my seatbelt and climbed from the wreckage. June crawled out and leaned against a tree. I took her hand and started running. He was still coming. Blood poured down my face, blinding me in my right eye.
Quickly he caught up to us, standing in our way. “Targets Acquired.”
“This is some bullshit. We finally got a Spooky Scary Sunday upload, and we’re gonna die before we get to see it.” I shook my head. “Can’t have shit.”
“We’re about to be murdered by a giant robot and that's your concern?” She stared at me.
He raised his cannon arm and powered up. A bright blight blinded us. I expected pain, but no. I only felt relaxed. The light faded and it became very dark. I opened my eyes to find myself in one piece, my head completely healed. June was with me in the endless darkness.
“I don’t want you to panic, but I think we’re dead.” She said.
I looked around, “I imagined Hell being exciting. This is kinda boring.”
An adorable blue alien woman appears. “Welcome to the Simp Agency Summoning Room! I’m Bellatrix, your personal assistant.”
I awkwardly waved. “Nice to meet ya Trixie.”
She blushes, “Trixie…I like it.”
A huge screen appears by Trixie, “Let's get you into our Systems Recruit. You have 10 points available for your S.P.E.C.I.A.L stats, use them wisely. Special stands for strength, perception, endurance, charisma, intelligence, agility, and luck.”
I allowed June to go first. I already knew exactly how I was going to do this. Once she was finished I finally went.
“I’ve seen enough movies and shows to know that no matter how smart or fast you are you still may not make it. Put all my points on luck.” I said.
*Lucky Charm Perk Acquired*
“Neat, now choose a superpower, be as creative as you want but remember you can't change this later. You can, however, improve and upgrade your skills as you develop as an agent.”
Again I allowed June to go first.
When she was finished I said, “I’d like the power to control probability. It ain't much, but I’m sure it’ll save my skin.”
“Great, now choose a class: Warrior, Mage, or Rogue.”
“Mage, obviously. “ My physical stats are so pitiful I’d never make it as a warrior or rogue.
June had a thing for blades so I wasn’t surprised that she chose Rogue.
*items added to inventory*
“Oh wow, I gotta kool cloak.” I put on my cloak, surprised at how soft and comfortable it is. I check out its stats before doing an excited little wiggle.
“I got daggers.” June flexed.
Trixie starts scribbling away, “Great, decide on a new look and a codename for your new life while I finish adding you into the system.”
I laugh and think of an inside joke between me and my sister, “Agent Cannibal is fine.”
She nodded, OOO nice choice. I’ll just be Agent Kai.”
Trixie takes a quick picture and finalizes everything. “Congratulations Kai and Cannibal, you’re officially brand new agents. Ah, it looks like the Simp Lords have already decided your first mission.”
Trixie hands us a pipboy, “Use this to access your inventory, health conditions, active missions, communicate with other agents or HQ; you also have access to world maps, and informational notes on the worlds you explore.”
A huge portal opens up. I squint into the other side and something about it just seems too familiar. “Aye, this place looks kinda–Before I can say anything else I get pushed through. Kai, not too far behind me.
A message appears on my pipboy from Trixie informing me that the only way for us to return to our normal life is to finish our mission. Until then we are allowed to break back at HQ. Still, something about this beautiful place seems familiar. I checked my map and froze in fear, we were Isekaid into the Song of Ice and Fire verse. We were currently in the city of Qarth. Our Mission: Give Daenerys a Happy Ending (Optional: fixing entire season 8).
I cursed and threw a little tantrum. I didn’t feel very lucky to have been Isekai’d to one of the most cut throat fandomverses ever.
“I didn’t get far in season one and I never finished. On a scale of 1-10 how fucked are we?” June asked.
I shook my head. “We may as well be in Racoon City during the outbreak.”
“I didn’t play resident evil.”
I sighed, “We’re more likely to survive an episode of Chicago PDas a bad guy than this.”
She let out a noise. ““OH we're gonna DIE die.”
I looked around, the area was pretty quiet, tranquil. A thought popped into my head. “Not all hope is lost. My knowledge of the show may help us make it out of this.”
She wiped her eyes, “So you have an idea?”
“Yes, sorta. I just need to learn some magic while we wait for Dany and her dothraki to arrive.”
“Excuse me.”
I spin around to see a twisted baldheaded old man.
“JESUS!” My hand flew to my heart.
The man made a face, “No, I’m Pyat Pree, the Warlock of Qarth.”
June couldn’t stop staring at him. I could tell she didn’t trust him. I didn’t either, but he was just so conveniently there.
I smiled, “A warlock? I’m a fellow witch myself. Sorta. I’m in training. Or at least I will be…when I find a teacher. And this is my bodyguard.”
June looked at me and went with it, “Yep, I’m the bodyguard.”
“What a coincidence, I’m looking for a student. I have talents in Sorcery, Illusion-casting, Duplication, Teleportation, Conjuration, and Alchemy.”
“DUPLICATION, LIKE SHADOW CLONES! PLEASE ACCEPT ME AS YOUR STUDENT.”
He smiled, “Such eagerness. Follow me to my temple and we’ll get started.”
June whispered to me, “So we’re just gonna follow this creepy guy as if he doesn’t just scream villain?”
“Yep.”
I was so excited I asked no questions and followed him blindly. Sorta. I knew our alliance would be temporary. Fortunately showed no signs of ulterior motives and actually taught me magic. I spent an entire month or so studying under him. I learned quickly under his guidance, becoming an adept mage, but I wanted to learn more. Preferably something darker. He seemed rather pleased that I was interested in learning dark arts as well and offered to teach me the basics of necromancy. Surprisingly I was a natural, becoming almost obsessed with it.”
FINALLY after three long months I heard that there was a dothraki horde beyond the wall seeking entry. I knew it was her, Daenerys. As fate would have it, she was granted access to the city thanks to Xaro, the merchant prince of Qarth. He is a member of the Thirteen, a prominent group of traders within the city.
I made sure to greet her sooner rather than later. After Xaro Xhoan Daxos gave her a tour I decided to visit her. She was relaxing with a few of her female companions enjoying the shade after being abused by the harsh sun of the desert. “I’ve been hoping to finally meet you, everyone has been talking about you and your dragons.”
She was surprised to see me, her eyes instantly locking on my pale hair. Her voice caught in her throat, her words became lost for a moment, when she finally spoke her voice was filled with excitement. “Your hair! You’re a Targaryen!”
I placed a hand on my chest, genuinely surprised. I’d chosen to have pale hair because I loved anime and all the best characters like Gojo had white hair. I had to think fast, “Actually my sister and I are actually half Celtigar. The Celtigars, like the Targaryens and the Velaryons have the blood of old Valyria. Our houses have been close since they fled Valyria together.”
June looked at me, clearly impressed with how quickly I came up with that lie.
“Come sit with me.”
I smiled, “Kirimvose, Daenerys. Nuha brozi Cannibal issa.”
She made a face, “I am unfamiliar with that tongue.”
“Oh, my apologies. I was unaware you did not speak High Valeryian. I said thank you, my name is Cannibal.”
She appeared so amazed, “I’d like to learn more.”
I peered around the room, “Zaldrizesse gevi issi. The Dragons are beautiful.”
June smiled and whispered that I was a showoff.
I whispered back, “Learning High Valryian on Duolingo isn’t such a bad idea now.”
We continued to talk for a while. She seemed to light up hearing of the histories of her house and learning Valyrian. The Dothraki girl Irri refreshed Daenerys' braids while Doreah lingered nearby listening in on our conversation.
Drogon screeched when Doreah drew too close, she complained that she only intended on feeding him. Rhagal and Viserion followed his example, puffing their chests. I smiled and turned to Danaerys, “When they get agitated tell them to relax or be calm by saying lykiri. Tell them Dohaeris when you want them to obey and Soves to fly. It should make riding easier for you in the future.”
Excited, she gave it a try. At first the dragons were flabbergasted, but they calmed down and accepted the food without almost biting off a finger.
“Like our ancestors, I hope the three of us can be close friends.” I was becoming rather confident.
Danaerys smiled and held my hands, “I hope so as well.”
We grew close very quickly, so far everything was going all according to the plan that I was making up as I went along. Not trying to change too much of her story, I let things play out as they were supposed to, except I prevented Irri from being strangled to death by Doreah.
To prove our dedication to her and solidify our alliance, I aided Daenerys in finding her dragons and getting her revenge against Doreah and Xaro. Before she locked them inside his pathetically empty vault, I snatched the necklace from him. Since I’d arrived I had wanted to get my hands on Xaro’s necklace, it had an uncanny resemblance to Dr. Strange's time stone necklace and perhaps had untapped magic. At the very least it was stylish and likely worth something. Everyone who remained took as much loot as possible before we moved on.
June gave me a look. She couldn’t believe the plan was working out so well. We were in the good graces of the Mother of Dragons.
Time passed and Daenerys’ influence only grew.
By now she’d earned many more braids, commanded the unsullied, liberated Messandei, and was becoming a beacon of hope for the little folk, the nameless, the powerless. Danny wasn't the only one growing more powerful. June had learned quite a few tricks from the Dothraki warriors during her training. She was a fast learner and soon became an absolute animal in battle. Not a formidable as Jamie Lannister in his prime, but she was definitely skilled.
I was becoming an expert at my craft as well, especially Necromancy. The Khaleesi had her army, and I had mine. Following behind us in the blowing sands were the reanimated corpses of those who once stood against her. Danny was a death magnet, an endless supply of corpses. I knew I couldn’t keep them with me forever, there was no way I’d be able to out necromance the Night King. I had merely adopted the art, his immortal existence allowed him ages of practice. For now however, the undead were very useful in keeping our casualties low.
We crouched behind a huge stone wall that was crumbling. In the distance, there were men on horses riding past tents that neighbored a large city.
Ser Jorah stated the Yunkish were paying those men well. The Second Sons, they were called, a group led by Mero, a Braavosi.
“How many?” Danny asked.
“Two Thousand your grace.” Jora said.
“Enough to make a difference?” She asked, looking at us, her friends and advisors.
I nodded, “Yeah, they’d deal some damage, even with my zombies. They’re well armoured, mounted, fed, and armed.”
Everyone shifted uncomfortably around my zombies except June. She liked to use her favorite corpse as a lackey to carry all her stuff. Leather Face she called him. The others however still couldn’t believe my zombies never tried to eat anyone. They were so well behaved, even when the dragons decided they wanted to pick and pluck at what was left of them. The sand and heat had turned quite a few of them into jerky, the dragon's favorite treat apparently.
“They’re mercenaries, Danny, they have no true loyalty to their employer. If we convince them we’re the more powerful force, the winning team, they wouldn’t bother to stand against us.” June said.
Danny nodded, “I’d like to talk to Mero, the Titans Bastard.”
A meeting was quickly arranged to parley with these heathens. The Captains of the Second Sons Mero, Prendal, and Daario stood before us. Aside from Daario they all looked a little haggard and dirty.
Seconds after being introduced Mero disrespected our Khaleesi by saying she looked just like a whore he screwed. I raised a hand slightly, One of my zombies rushed to the man screeching in his face.
“Humph, you will show some respect, you dusty ass bitch or I’ll have my zombie chew out your tongue.” I smiled.
Danny and June gave me a smile.
Mero took a seat next to Danaerys then called to Messandei, “Hey you, slave girl, bring wine.”
We all exchanged looks. Words couldn’t explain how badly I wanted to peel back his skin and wear him as a new pair of leathery boots.
“There are no slaves here.” Danny said.
“You’ll all be slaves unless I save you.” Mero said.
June gave me a look, she tried to tuck her hair behind her ear then remembered she had braids. We didn’t have to say anything, our faces spoke a thousand words.
Danny and the Captains continue to exchange words. Mero leaned over to get a sniff of Messandei while she poured him some whine, fear and uneasiness filled her face.
Ser Jorah had to pull me from the tent before I caused a scene. “What are you doing Cannibal?”
I scoffed, “Well, I WAS about to air this bitch out. Mans out there being creepy as fuck.”
“You must calm yourself, maintain your composure.” He said.
I smacked my lips, “Fine. But if he pulls some weird shit like that again, there will be one less Son to worry about.”
We rejoined them in the tent.
Danny gave them the fakest smile, “You have 2 days to decide.”
“Show me your cunt, I want to see if it's worth fighting for.”
“Listen bitch!”
“Oop.” June held a hand to her chest. “Mans didn’t even buy her dinner first. Out here just straight out demanding shit.”
Ser Jorah pulled me from the tent again. I tried to get around him and back into the tent. “Cannibal!”
Inside the tent Greyworm asked Danny if he could slice out Mero’s tongue. Outside the tent I encouraged him to do it, hyping him up and everything. My Zombie looked for guidance, he wasn’t sure whether to strike or not.
Mero made sure to give Danny one more crude remark before departing. Walking past me he smiled and looked me up and down. My skin crawled the way he undressed me with his dark eyes. “Feisty aren’t you. Maybe I’ll get a taste of you later as well.”
“I’m going to devour your soul and shit it out.” I glared.
He smiled and bit his lip and slapped my ass, “I look forward to it.”
The Sons walked away. I continued to stare after them.
Ser Jorah, “You need to learn some control.”
“Unhand me you troglodyte.” I looked down to see Jorah was still holding my arm. I snatched it away and glared.
“Not a troglodyte homie.” June snickered.
“He’s the one that needs to learn some respect.” I shook my head.
Jorah sighed, “If you can’t stay composed I suggest you no longer participate in these meetings. Sometimes we must exchange pleasantries.”
I sighed and returned to the tent.
Danny's fake ass smile fell. “Ser Barriston, if it comes to battle, kill that one first.”
“Gladly, your grace.” Ser Barristons said stony faced.
“THANK YOU. I’m glad we’re all on the same page.”
Messandei came over to me, “When you said you would devour his soul. Did you mean it literally?”
“There’s a reason my friends call me the Cannibal.” I flashed a smile, “I’m a Man eater…in more ways than one now.”
June laughed recalling a wild conversation we’d had.
Night fell on our camp and Messandei and us girls kept Danny company while she bathed. It was a new moon, the night was exceptionally dark. I had to mentally tell myself not to think about how soft Danny looked. I whispered to June. “She is so beautiful. It’s unfortunate she only enjoys the company of men.”
“Don’t you can’t Simp for her Veronica.”
I kept going, “In all of history she is probably the straightest Targaryen to walk the earth. Not once have I caught her admiring any of her female companions' beauty. Such a shame.”
“Veronica, think with your head, not your clit.”
“I can’t help it, I’ve got blue clit dude. It's like blue balls but not.”
She shook her head, “I can’t with you.”
“By the way, are we gonna refer to each other by our names or code names, because I completely forgot to tell them that my names Veronica.”
She thought about it for a moment, “Honestly Ronnie, I don’t think it matters what they call us. They can’t come to the real world anyways.”
“Nah, that can’t be true because we got our shit rocked by a damn Autobot.”
She cured, “I forgot about that. Well in that case we should only use our code names around them. If we make any enemies that try to kill us in the real world it’ll be harder to find us. We look different and have different names.”
“So Cannibal and Kai?”
“Cannibal and Kai.”
Messadei complimented Danny on her High Valeryian, bringing a smile to her lips. Danny closed her eyes and sank into the water. I grabbed some fabrics that would be used as towels, my back turned only for a split second when I heard Missandei gasp. I turned to see she had a knife to her throat. I pushed into the mind of the man, a little talent I picked up in Qarth. “Tell me, what do you fear?”
He stood frozen. Images flashed in my mind. I smiled, “Got it.”
Weaponizing his fears against him I used my Illusion magic to make him believe Messandei had turned into smoke. He moved away confused. When I applied the next illusion she began to freak out. Slapping his skin and panicking. Kai drew her blade and stepped in front of Messandei.
“Why are you here Daario?” I said temporarily removing the illusion.
He removed his helmet.
Anger was painted on Danny's face. “You were sent here to kill me, so why haven't you?”
I sniffed the air, “The perfume of death clings to you Daario.”
I gave him a knowing look as he removed the satchel from his shoulders and tossed it. The heads of the other two Sons rolled like marbles. He smiled smugly.
“And this is supposed to impress me?”
“Yes.” He said.
“OKAAAAAY I’m loving the confidence.” I said. I looked at Danny to see her response. Yeah she was clearly feeling him too. I listened to them converse a little while longer until Danny stood up and stepped out of the bath. We clothed her while he swore his sword and the Second Swords to her.
I could read the room, they were definitely gonna smash.
“Well…Imma head out and let yall do your thing. I’ll see ya tomorrow or whenever we decide to take the city.” I waved my hand and walked outside. Kai and Messandei came behind me. While Messadei sought out her boyfriend Grey Worm, I decided to go on a late night stroll through our camp with Kai. I hummed a few Rihanna songs while Kai vibed to Ateez.
“I know how you feel about the Khaleesi.”
We turned to see Irri. She was so adorable and short. Short women just hit differently. “I won’t deny it, the Khaleesi is very attractive; though, I think she has a thing for the bad boy type. And she’s strictly dickly so I’m VERY disqualified.”
She looked at me confused.
I waved my hand, “You have nothing to worry about Irri. I’m not in love with Daenerys, so feelings will not get in the way of the mission. I swear it. If anything I’m in love with her Ancestors such as Maegor, I would have volunteered to be one of his many wives. Would have been a body party in the Royal Bed Chambers every night.”
“Didn’t Maegor have some of his wives killed?” Kai asked.
“That's not the point.” I bit my lip, “When I say I’d let that man drop kick me….Like…just know I would be down for anything and I mean ANYTHING.”
“Damn bitch you are down bad for Targaryen men.” Kai laughed.
I laughed, “Honey if it weren’t for the trenches my mind would be homeless.”
Irri eyed us oddly. Clearly she was as disturbed as she was lost. “I also wanted to talk about your sorcery.”
I smiled, “I have only used my power for good and I will continue to do so. Relax Darling.”
“You command death, it is wrong, unsafe.”
“I’ve been working on other forms of magic as well, such as fire magic and shapeshifting.” I lifted my hand. “If it makes you feel safer, know that I am a woman of honor and I only care about Danaerys’ well being.”
“Swear you will not continue to play with dark magic.”
I made a cross over my heart with my pinky nail, “Scouts honor.”
Before she could say anything I walked off whistling.
Kai walked by my side, she gave me a knowing look, “I didn’t know you were a scout?”
“Pft I wasn’t.”