Amelie Stark – Not A Man
Amelie Stark – Not A Man
I turned to Loki as Thor and Bruce left for the bar. He still seemed worlds away and I couldn’t help being a bit worried. While I didn’t know the full extent of Loki’s problems, I was certain that he must have gone through a hell of a lot over the years and that he would still be dealing with the after-effects of that.
Trauma doesn’t just magically heal itself; it seeps into our veins, morphing and twisting our very being until we can no longer recognise ourselves.
Thor booming laughter rolled over us and Loki turned to look at his brother, a soft smile on his face. While they’d had their problems, there was no denying how much Loki cared for Thor. I smiled, pleased to see some evidence that Thor’s feelings toward his brother were reciprocated. He’d gone to so much effort when Loki was recovering in Asgard and had almost made himself ill going back and forth between here and there, all the while never truly knowing if his brother would ultimately betray him again.
Feeling my gaze, Loki turned to me.
His smile faltered and my eyes widened. His expression was one of helplessness, as if he was pleading with me to understand what he could not put into words. Before I knew it, my hand had moved of its own accord, gently resting on top of his in a gesture of comfort; I had to save him from whatever was consuming him. He seemed to tense at my touch before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, like gathering the courage to answer some unspoken question. I frowned, had I done something wrong?
As his eyes opened and found mine, I felt my breath catch in my throat. They were dark and focused. I’d never seen Loki look so intense and for a split second I could imagine the terror of what he could be if crossed. Unwavering, his sights were set on me, entrapping me in a trance-like state while leaving me defenceless to whatever power he held within him. His piercing stare rendered me completely vulnerable.
Loki firmly clasped my hand, his grip so tight it felt like he was trying to etch our intertwined fingers into my skin. His thumb grazed my wrist in a circular motion that sent electricity radiating throughout my body. I could feel the goosebumps prickle across my arm and every nerve ended humming as his gaze met mine with an intensity that made me shiver. I held my breath, suspended in this moment, feeling nothing but his touch against my skin.
When Loki’s eyes flicked back to mine, they softened before fluttering closed. Gently, he removed his hands from mine and straightened on his stool. I released a shaky breath and sat back, feeling the heat in my cheeks. Thoughts raced through my head and bounced around as I tried to reflect.
Loki was a God. He’d quickly become one of my closest friends and at some point along the way… more than that, but I was not naive enough to think that it would be the same for him. I wasn’t willing to ruin our friendship, especially when I was so proud of how far Loki had come since first arriving at the tower. He was really managing amazingly well, taking the first steps to repair his relationship with himself, as well as his brother.
Having a mortal friend turn around and get all emotional would only ruin the relationship that we’d built. I sighed.
First man I’d fancied in who knows how long, and it’s not even a man. It’s a God. I rolled my eyes, amused at myself and looked back to Loki.
He was watching me again, but the intense look had gone, his face expression-less. I gave him a big smile, determined to bury my feelings. Bruce and Thor returned, bringing drinks with them and I sighed in relief at their timing.
I needed a drink.