“Not to be the pessimistic one here but the food is probably cold by now.”
A pair of big honey brown eyes widened, stopping whatever activity he was doing, fear too strong to even remember, and picking up the mask that laid right next to him, tying it behind his head and quickly checking if it was secure enough. His heart was running a mile per hour as he turned around, frowning when he saw who had entered the building at this time of the night.
“What are you doing here?” The owner of those eyes asked, making the man laugh.
“Apparently reminding my young lover of the date he just forgot.” Was the answer, but he wasn’t mad. On the contrary, he seemed to find the situation quite amusing.
Suddenly those honey eyes were filled with guiltiness.
“Date?” And the realization finally hit him. “Oh no.” He muttered, his eyes widening. The boy was never able to understand why it was so easy for him to disappoint the people around him. He only had to remember a date, and actually show up on time, but it seemed that his head was to messed up to even remember the person that made him happy. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”
“No harm made.” The older man quickly brushed it off with a small wave of his hand, walking closer. “Barnum is making you work your bones off?” He asked with a frown, but the tone was enough to show that he was joking.
“No, no.” The boy answered in a hurry, without stopping to understand the joke. “He’s nice.” He mumbled which it was true, the man was truly nice, nicer than anyone had ever been to him.
“Huh…” The man hummed, trying to search for his lover’s face even when the other tried to hide himself. “Then how come my lovely date forgot of the anniversary he had been talking about for weeks none stop? I had a plan and all.” The man talked but the boy did not answer. “Well, I have to admit that I did not cook anything, we both know that would have been distasteful, but I had exquisite chefs baking a meal fit for royalty.” Even if the man was joking, the younger boy couldn’t help but flinch at the idea of making his lover waste his money and other peoples time just for him to be ungrateful.
“I’m so sorry, I truly am. I must have forgotten somehow.” Peter apologized one more time, hugging himself as if he was trying to hide even more.
“I don’t believe that. As I said, you’ve been talking about this night for weeks.”
“Yeah, but I’ve been tired this past week, sorry.” The boy got up in a heartbeat, the blouse that he had been sewing falling onto the floor. So that’s what he was doing. “Actually, I am tired now so I should probably go to bed. Maybe we can celebrate another time.” The man frowned as he watched his lover trip over his words, leaving everything he was doing behind just to run away from the situation.
“How about we talk now?” The man insisted, following him.
“I told you I’m tired and I have shows the next couple of days and you have a company to run.” The boy babbled nervously in a barely understandable speed, without turning around. “Besides, your fiancée is probably at home waiting for you to arrive, don’t keep her waiting.”
“Fiancée?”
He stopped dead on his tracks.
Shutting his eyes tightly, the boy cursed to himself, his mind yelling at him for being so dumb. He messed up, to no one’s surprise.
Slowly, he turned around, looking at the man’s guilty face.
“So you know.” It wasn’t a question, Anthony was smart enough to deduce that the fear that had been consuming him since the day the news came out, had actually happened.
“You really shouldn’t look that surprise, it was on every newspaper front page.”
“Yeah, I was just hoping that I would be able to tell you personally tonight.” The man explained, which now he understands how foolish that sounded. Letting out a sigh, he walked closer to the boy. “Peter, I’m so sorry.” And even if the man sounded truly sorry, Peter just brushed it off.
“No harm made; it was meant to happen anyway.”
“No, it was not. Peter, I—” But Anthony stopped, cursing silently. He looked up and then took a deep breath. “I’m getting old, nothing can change that, and investors of the company were starting to get worried about the future…” He gulped, nodding. “Yeah, and the council were worried about stock dropping.”
“So you need a heir.”
“No. I mean, yes, but I already have one.”
“What?”
“Now you see why todays date was important?” Anthony laughed, nervous. “It’s you, you are my heir.”
“I… What?”
“Yeah, it has been decided for a while. All the paperwork is already done, you only have to sign them and it would be official.”
“I can’t be you heir.”
“Why not? You are the only person alive able to outsmart me, you already have. And the council trust you.”
“Yeah, that’s because they don’t know who I am, they only know a lie.” Peter scoffed, trying to calm his temper. At this point, he should expect this kind of situations from this man but he just could not get used to them. How he wished Anthony could be a little bit less impulsive but it was already done and Peter fear for his private life more than ever, not because of the harm that could cause him but because of the disgrace it would be for Tony’s reputation if it ever leak out. “Go ahead, Anthony. Tell them where I work, where I live, my social status. I’m sure they’ll love it.”
“They don’t need to know.”
“And how would you hide it? Words are one thing but documents another, you can’t fake them.”
“Not if they are official.” Anthony answered with a smirk and the air got caught up on the boy’s throat.
“You didn’t.” The boy muttered, his thumb and middle finger massaging his temples. “You take the term ‘I do what I want’ to another level.”
“Pete—”
“It didn’t even cross your mind to ask me?”
“Well, I’m asking you now.”
“No, no. That’s not how this works. You can’t do… You can’t put me in the spotlight like that, you can’t—” Peter let out a long sigh, one of his hands wiping the tears that were threatening to run freely. But when he went to wipe the tears on his right eye, he notice that he still was hiding behind a mask and that only made him feel worse.
Having to wear it during his shows was hard enough but it was fair, nobody could know that the intern that the great Anthony Stark had under his wing was also a freak that loved doing aerial acrobatics in a circus, that would be a catastrophe that could sink Stark Industries. But now, having to wear it in front of his lover and living with the fear of being the one who could ruin his life work? That destroyed him a little every day, and Tony could see it but it didn’t matter.
At the end of the day, he was always hiding who he was.
“Hey…” The man whispered, his hands finding the strings behind the boy’s head, slowly untying them and finally being able to se that half of the face that was missing. “There they are those beautiful eyes that I know and love.” Anthony smiled warmly at him, melting the boy’s heart.
But still, that bitter feeling inside of him would not let him go.
“It’s a lie, Tony. It will always be one.” The boy mumbled, but the man just shook his head.
“It’s alright—”
But Peter could not have that, not anymore.
“It’s a lie!” The boy yelled, pushing the man away and ripping the mask away from his hands. Anxiety consumed him every day, he could not keep brushing things off, hiding them under the rug. They had gone too far, and it seemed that Anthony did not care that they were now hurting more people apart of themselves. “It’s all a lie, like everything in my life. I can’t do that.” The boy looked at the mask in his hands and it felt stupid, it made him feel stupid. With a small grunt, he threw it to the side, not caring anymore. “And you’ll have a wife and kids, I can’t keep interfering on that.”
“You are not ‘cause that won’t happen, I don’t want that.”
“Like you didn’t want to marry her?” The boy challenged, making the man pinch the bridge of his nose as he let out a long sigh.
"It's just for show, Peter.”
“Is it for her though?” And of course, the boy would worry about others’ wellbeing first. Anthony wanted to lie more than anything, make the boy trust him in this one, but he just stood silent. “That’s what thought.”
“I don’t feel anything for her.”
“But she has feelings, Tony. You can’t just manipulate them for your own convenience.”
“And what about our feelings?”
“They don’t matter, not in this society.” Peter whispered the last part, his right hand unconsciously rubbing his left forearm. Starting from his wrist and finishing just below his elbow, all one could see were white bandages, cascading like ribbons, covering a fresh burn made by some drunk guys that waited for him by the door that led to the dark alley outside the circus. He hadn’t told his lover about it, but he was pretty sure he didn’t need to. After all, they met after the man saved him from being harassed once again. His body healed but the memory of those abuses remained there, scaring his skin for life and hunting his mind till the end of the days. He never understood why people hated him, why they lusted after his body; he was nothing special and most of them called him a freak but, even with that, they always came back for him.
“Everyday... putting on the show that I am your apprentice, people mistaking us of being father and son, how can that be healthy?” The boy looked at the man with broken eyes but the other one didn’t dare to say anything, just stared at his lover. “And then coming here at night trying to feel somehow free of everything in my life but knowing that people can’t know that is me the one in that trapeze or you would lose all prestige for having a freak like me under you wing and...” He took a deep breath, knowing he was rumbling. “And you put up with so much.”
“I’m happy to do so if it means I have you.”
“But you don’t, not anymore. You are engaged, Tony; we have to wake up.”
“Peter, there’s nobody stopping us.”
“And does that make it right?” Peter asked, looking at the man straight in the eyes. “Tony, I’ll risk anything for you, without any hesitation, but this? You are asking me to keep up a lie that had gone to far, that it doesn’t involve just us any longer but a woman that is willing to give his best years for you, that will expect a happy family with kids and a loving husband that will never come.” And as he spoke, the boy could feel his own desire coming though his words. He could not have that but that did not mean that he should take it away from another person that did actually deserve it, that would never be fair. “We’ll steal her life and dreams for what? A lie that we don’t know for how long we'll be able to keep?” And as he finished talking, the man seemed to be searching Peter’s eyes for an answer to an unspoken question. He did listen to his words or, at least, Peter hoped so but he seemed lost for a moment.
“You are right.” The man finally spoke up but he was still deep on his thoughts and that kind of terrified Peter. He had been by his side long enough to know that, when that mind was working, something brilliant or outrageous could come out of it. Anthony was never a predictable man, and he was proud of it, that’s why he was known to be smart. He always was a couple of steps ahead of anyone and it was rare for him to be caught out of guard, not that he never was, but the few people that had been able to accomplish that should be proud. Peter did, at first. Now, he was pretty sure that there was nothing he could say that the man hadn’t though an answer for.
But after those few words, he stood silent and maybe, just maybe, Peter thought that the man had finally come to reason. It would be for the best, the boy could move on and the man would live the life he was destined to have. It would all work out.
If only…
“Then let’s just go.”
It had always been a mystery how some simple words could change someone’s emotions, their thoughts, caught them out of guard. That’s exactly what happened to Peter. He should have known better, Anthony’s specialty was fixing every situation, to come up with a solution to a problem.
And even if the boy felt hopeful for a few seconds, there were just some problems that the man could not fix with pretty words.
“Anywhere you want, just you and me.” The older man cupped his boy’s face when he started to feel like he was losing him, giving a sweet smile that was able to melt the younger one. “I always wanted to live in a cabin near a lake, away from the world.”
And that seemed nice, didn’t it? To live with the man he loved in a quiet place, away from everyone, starting from zero and maybe, just maybe, starting a beautiful family when the right time comes. He never had one, he was abandoned the day he was born in a dirty alley and sent to foster care until he was off age, because nobody wanted the dumb and skinny boy with the useless talent of being flexible and agile.
But he longed for a family for so, the circus being the closest he had ever gotten. That and a dark skin girl that he was sure didn’t like him very much, just tolerate him because he was the only aerial partner available. He still had managed to get out of her the ghost of a smile from time to time.
But to have a real one? One of his own? Oh, how he wished he could give into that idea, if only it could be real.
“We can’t do that.” He whispered, his voice breaking with a quiet sob. He wanted that, he so wanted that it hurt to have to turn down such beautiful dream, but he had to, he couldn’t bring himself to be that selfish.
“Of course we can, I’ll leave the company to her and we’ll go as far as we desire. I have a few pulls in Harvard, I could teach there and you...” The older man eyes fell into the bandage on the boy’s arm, his hand slowly graving his and caressing the cover injure. He knew, of course he did, and it made him angry to know that he could not do anything in return. “You would finally be free of doing whatever you want without being judge.”
“I’ll ruin your life.” The boy muttered with wet eyes but all he received in returned was the warm gaze the man offered him, trying to reassure him.
“You could never do that.”
“You don’t know that! And I won’t just wait until...” The words got caught up on his throat, his eyes opening wide in realization. “Until you wake up one day to a life you never wanted.”
“If it has you in it, then I want it.”
You don’t. Peter wanted to say but he knew it would be useless, the man would never realize it until it would be to late and Peter would not be strong enough to look at the disappointment on those warm brown eyes. Was this the price they had to pay for something forbidden? To lose it all and never be happy? The man had worked so hard for the company, for his future. He couldn’t lose it all just for him, he would not allow it.
He was not worth of that price.
He had to make it right, be the responsible one even if it hurt him.
But then the man would look at him with those beautiful eyes that promised him the world and he just felt so lost, like nothing could go wrong as long as he stayed by his side. How could that be possible?
“You know how much I want that to be true.” The boy mumbled, slowly raising his gaze. Swallowing the bitterness he felt inside, he continued. “But there’s a moment in life where you just need to stop and look around you.” Peter cupped the older man’s face, a sad smile on his lips was all he could give as he hid the pain of his broken heart. “Go home, Tony. Go home and be with your fiancé, she does not deserve this.” He finished, his thumb gently caressing the man’s cheek before forcing himself to let go.
He had to, it would be for the best.
But, of course, nothing with this man could be easy.
As he walked towards his things, ready to pick his forgotten costume and sewing supplies up so he could then run to his room and dream that everything in his life was alright, he heard quiet steps getting closer to him.
‘You know I want you…’ Astonished, the boy turned around, because there was no way that the man had not lost his mind. ‘It’s not a secret I try to hide.’ The boy’s eyes were wide open, his head shaking from side to side as he tried to understand why the man was so persistent.
“No, stop.” He said firmly, on the verge of tears.
‘I know you want me…’ The man took a few step closers to the young boy. ‘So don’t keep saying our hands are tie.’ Slowly, one of his hands caressed one of the boy’s cheek, cleaning the few tears that wear staining his beautiful lover’s face.
Their eyes meet for a few seconds, thinking for a short amount of time that he had convince the boy but then, he shook his head, moving his face away from the man’s touch and turning around to scape.
‘You claim it’s not in the cards, fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me.’ In a fast move, the older one took the younger one’s wrist, turning him around in slow dance. As their eyes met once again, a soft smile appeared in Anthony’s face, lifting his lover’s hand until they were at the same leverage from his lips, kissing the knuckles gently, then he put them in the left side of his chest. ‘But you are here in my heart so who can stop me if I decide…’ Slowly, the man took his right hand with his left, turning him until the back of the boy was pressed against his chest, hugging him with his own arm around his small waist. His right hand found its way into Peter’s chin, guiding those mesmerizing glassy eyes to meet his. ‘That you’re my destiny?’ With the delicacy of a feather, Anthony caressed the boy’s cheek, leaning slowly to touch those pink soft lips with his.
But Peter knew what he was trying to do, and he couldn’t give in. The man might be used to always getting what he wants but now the boy had to take a stan.
So, with a quick spin, the young boy broke the hug, walking away from the man and never changing his mind.
‘What if we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine’ And Peter was just human, so it wasn’t a surprise when one of his defensive walls crumbled, allowing himself to look at the man he loved one more time, hope filling his eyes.
The boy was his and wanted nothing more than to just shout it from the roof tops, give himself completely to the older man, give him what has always meant to be his and nobody else’s.
But fate was such a whimsical thing that he could not control, no matter how much he wished he could his hands were always tied. He could not give in; he could not ruin the man’s life, no matter how loud his heart was yelling at him to be egoistic.
‘Nothing could keep us apart, you’d be the one I was meant to find.’ Peter could not bring himself to keep hearing it, his little heart could not take such pain. But the moment he turned around, Anthony had taken hold of his hand, stopping him from escaping. ‘It's up to you, and it's up to me, no one can say what we get to be.’ He knew he was crying, he had to be. The sorrow he was felling was outrageous and hearing the love of his life saying words that he wished with his whole life were true, was killing him.
Anthony cornered him in a column, escaping now seeming impossible.
‘So why don't we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours.’ The man started to close the distance, his face centimeters away from the young boy’s face. ‘Tonight’ Was the last thing Anthony was able to whisper before Peter did the only thing he had always been good at.
He escaped.
In a quick move, he untied the rope that was behind him, the weight that it was holding being enough to lift him up in the air. Anthony just looked at him, fascinating. His boy had always been smart and his beautiful golden heart could not bring him to do any harm to the world, even if that meant to sacrifice his happiness in order to not hurt others.
At that moment, Tony smiled, looking at the skylight that had been open because of that rope. It was such a breathtaking night, the stars looking like little diamonds placed in the sky, the moonlight kissing his lover’s pale skin making it look like perfect porcelain. Everything that that boy created was magnificent and maybe he was born to make the world a more beautiful place, giving away the kindness that he had always been denied.
‘You think it's easy’ Anthony turned around, following the small voice that seemed to be afraid to be heard. ‘You think I don't want to run to you’ Peter singed for him from the railing on the second floor, where he was walking on his tiptoes and looking as fearless as he could. ‘But there are mountains’ Without second thinking it, he balanced his body gracefully with one hand in a column, getting to the other side of his path and finishing with a spin. Anthony stared at him, ready to catch him if he ever fell, he would always.
‘And there are doors that we can't walk through.’ He finished, bittersweet. Then, he unhooked the black aerial hoop that was attached to the column. Taking a bit of impulse, he lift his feet from the railing, allowing gravity to take him to the center of the room with full force, his hands tightly gripping the metal.
‘I know you wonder why’ Even if it required a lot of strength, the boy straddled invert effortless, hocking his hamstring on the hoop and sitting up. ‘Because we are able to be just you and me.’ He put his hands on the upper part of the hoop and swinged his body, hooking his legs up in the hoop and climbing up on a sitting position.
When he looked down, he finally realized how high he actually was, even if the hoop was slowly lowering down because of his weight. It was crazy, and Anthony was just below him watching him with stary eyes.
He shook his head, hooking one of his legs on the cord that suspended the hoop and letting his body fall with gravity, extending his arms towards the floor.
‘Within this walls but when we go outside…’ In a swift move, he pushed his body up and change his position, letting his tights towards the cold metal and his hands graving the cord.
‘You are gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all.’ He didn’t mean to, but he whispered the last part. Even if he was trying to convince the other man that this relationship was a mistake, part of him was actually scared of him realizing of how stupid it was to risk it all just for him.
With trembling hands and a tear running down his face, he let go of the rope, his body falling forward until he caught the upper part of the hoop and brought his knees up to his chest, passing through the hoop and falling into it stomach down but bringing his chest up.
‘No one can rewrite the stars’ He let go of his hands and pushed his chest towards the ground, allowing himself to flip to the ground when he noticed how close to it he finally was. But his feet slipped on the dirt, making him lose his balance.
But Anthony would never let him fall, catching him by the waist just moments before he hit the ground.
‘How can you say you’ll be mine’ He muttered; Anthony smiled sweetly at him. The man opened his mouth to answer him but, before he could even form words, Peter eyes widened as he pushed him away abruptly; preventing him from being hit by the hoop that was swaying their way, and instead going between them.
‘Everything keeps us apart’ When the hoop came back, both men stopped it with both their hands, without noticing how it looked like a barrier between them. ‘And am not the one you were meant to find’ Peter spatted angrily as he moved his right feet, activating a secret compartment from the show that let down two pairs of purple aerial silks, falling gracefully behind them.
‘It’s not up to you’ Gracefully, Peter walked around the hoop, putting one hand on Anthony’s chest and pushing him away from the element. The now missing weight of the silks allowed the hoop to rise back up with the boy holding onto it with just one hand. ‘It’s not up to me.’ Swinging his legs back and forward, he took enough momentum to let go of the metal hoop and launched himself towards one of the aerial silks.
‘When everyone tells us what we could be’ He pushed his body upwards and put around his waist a safe lock with the silk, feeling confident enough to spread his leg and allow his body to gracefully spin down the element.
‘How can we rewrite the stars?’ Of course, Anthony was waiting for him with open arms when he reached the end of the rope, putting his whole weight on his right shoulder and guiding him safely to the floor. But he didn’t let go of the boy, his right arm hugging his waist tightly in order to push him closer to his body, his left hand cupping the boy’s face and bringing it closer to his. ‘Say that the world can’t be ours…’ Peter allowed himself to fall for the man’s charm, following his movements and getting closer; and maybe it was by accident or maybe he allowed his heart to be controlled by desire, but his brain stopped thinking for a second, enough to allow his eyes to be hypnotized by the man’s mouth. It was a dangerous play, he knew that fully well, but he could bring himself to stop.
It was short but enough to make the boy question everything he was feeling. He was fighting for dear life against his heart in a battle that was meant to be lost, if the fates were ever in his favor. So he believed that allowing himself to melt on the older man’s arms and their lips to softly brush against each other in a feather light kiss.
It was short and sweet, full of that love and desired they felt for each other; but the aftertaste was always bitter, as everything coming from a man betrothed to another.
‘Tonight.’
The boy let go of Anthony’s hand, running away towards the right set of stairs. Of course, that would not work for the older man. After all, he always loved a good challenge and what better moment to put everything that Peter had taught him into practice. So he smirked, turning towards the left set of stairs.
If only he would just give up, that was all the boy was asking for.
Or maybe not.
‘All I want is to fly with you.’ Peter run up the stairs as fast as his feet would allow him, occasionally taking a few side glares to see Anthony stopping at nothing. ‘All I want is to fall with you.’ Determined to make it to the top on time, Anthony took of his shoes and socks as he made another clumsy step forward, one of his hands tightly holding onto the stair’s railing. ‘So just give me all of you.’
‘It feels impossible!’ Peter cried out loud, not even out of breath as he made his way to the top, holding with both hands the railing that separated him from the nothingness.
‘It’s not impossible.’ Anthony fighted back, facing Peter in the same position but on opposite sides, as they always seemed to be in a world that feared something new and amazing, that felt right but was so wrong.
‘Is it impossible?’ Peter asked, climbing up the railing and petrified when he saw Anthony imitating his actions, fearless.
‘Say that is possible!’
And they both jumped, reaching for the silks.
But he had always been so clumsy.
The air was knocked out of his lungs when his left foot hit the railing, resulting on Peter not having enough momentum to reach the silk, the tips of his fingers barely able to graze the soft fabric.
And then he was falling.
He thought it would be scarier, to be falling to a probably fatal accident. But it was not, it was relieving in a way. MJ would find another partner, a better one worthy of all her talent and that would not slow her down; Anthony would finally let him go, keep going with his life and the brilliant future he had ahead with his fiancée.
And he would be finally free.
That didn’t sound scary, on the contrary, it helped him ease his mind as he closed his eyes and awaited for the hit.
But he never touched the ground, strong and callous fingers circling his wrist, deep brown eyes looking at him with fear but trying to hide it behind a playful smirk; and Peter felt like crying because the man wasn’t the only one that had taught the other so much.
Anthony’s feet were holding the silk in a pretty much perfect lock, the purple fabric wrapped around his right arm in a graceful but secure grip.
And Anthony even had the audacity to wink at him, making the boy feel warm inside.
‘How do we rewrite the stars?’ Peter moved his body and made them both spin, gaining enough momentum for him to reach the other silk. ‘Say you were meant to be mine?’ But when he finally grabbed the silk, Anthony did not let him go, graving him by the waist and bringing them both together. The boy flexed his knees and brough them closer to his body. The man imitated him, the movement making them both spin in tighter circles around each other. ‘Nothing could keep us apart.’ Peter smiled at the man, tears running down his cheeks as he stared at the older man’s face, little wrinkles forming at the side of his eyes at how bright he was smiling, holding in his arms the only person that could make him do the crazies things, like aerial acrobatics. ‘Cause you are the one I was meant to find.’ Anthony’s hand traveled upwards towards Peter’s, kissing it lightly and then pushing away, sending Peter flying away around the room with a small push.
‘It’s up to you.’ With graceful moves, Peter spun his legs until the fabric had made three loops on each of his legs. ‘And it’s up to me.’ Then he let himself fall forward, grabbing the silk and arching his back beautifully in a tight scorpion pose, Anthony’s amazed eyes glued on him. ‘No one can say what we get to be.’ Smiling, Peter let go of the fabric and made gestures with his hands to guide him, the man instantly catching up and lowering himself until he was at the same leverage.
He didn’t need to think twice, he trusted him.
Anthony jumped towards the other silk, graving Peter by his forearms.
‘So why don’t we rewrite the stars?’ Peter’s eyes were glowing with overjoy as he stared at the man he loved, one of his hands sliding down until he reached Anthony’s waist, pushing him upwards and their faces closer. The boy would be lying if he said his eyes never dropped to the older man’s lips.
‘Changing the world to be ours’
Slowly, the silk lose all it’s momentum, Anthony’s feet finally touching the floor and their faces staying at the same level, even if Peter’s head was upside down. Nothing could erase the beautiful smile that adorn it.
‘You know I want to.’ Peter whispered, cupping the man’s face with his hands, bringing him closer. ‘Is not a secret I tried to hide.’ He finished, feeling how Anthony’s right hand got tangle on his brown curls, starring at him with fond eyes.
So he leaned forward, ready to pour all that love, all those emotions that were dying to burst out of his chest. It was unhealthy how much he admired the man, how much he loved him. It hurt him so much to fell this many emotions but he wouldn’t change that felling for the world.
So he closed his eyes and leaned forward.
But he should know better than to tempt fate.
A glimpse of golden light flashed through his sight, barely noticeable but enough to make Peter’s eyes follow it until it found the golden ring that adorned Anthony’s left hand. It felt as if a bucket of frozen water had been poured all over him, all the happy adrenaline, that was coursing though his body, fading away.
Life had always been hard on him, and he learned to live with that. He probably deserved it, he was just a constant disappointment that deserved to be punish for it.
He fighted with his feeling for a long time, trying to decide what was wrong and what was right. He thought it would be easy but, in the end, he just couldn’t let go of the first and only person that truly loved him.
He wanted nothing more than happiness, it turns out that was something he could never have but maybe he could give it to others. And what if he had to live happiness thought others? Well, that was better than allowing the man he loved to believe in a foolish dream, of a happy ending that would never come if he had Peter by his side.
Maybe Anthony thought he was meant to bring beauty into this world but deep down, the boy knew that all he could give was worthless.
But maybe he could do this only thing right.
‘But I can’t have you.’ He nearly whispered, low enough to keep his voice from breaking. Gently, he pushed the man away, descending from the silk. When his feet landed on the floor, Anthony’s hand was on his upper arm, turning him around. He didn’t want to but the man forced him to look at him in the eyes, one of his hands pushing his chin up.
Disappointment, that’s all he could see on Anthony’s face. The man was probably as broken as Peter was, begging him with his eyes to stay with him, to run away with him, to trust him.
But he could not, he couldn’t ruin this man’s life. He deserved to be happy, to bring amazing technology and change the future as people know it. To have a wife and children that would be his pride and joy.
Peter could not give him that.
‘We are bound to break and my hands are tied.’ He was barely able to finish before his wobbly voice failed him, raw feeling rising to the surface even if he tried to hide them behind a painful smile. Maybe he was getting used to suffering, after all he barely felt any pain when he was up in the air, or maybe he liked it and that’s why he took one last moment to cares Anthony’s cheek before letting go.
“Please, do not come back. It won’t do any of us any good.” He said softly, giving one last smile; and with his heart heavy with misery, he turned around, running towards the precarious room he had in the building and letting the tears finally run freely down his face and his feelings drown him in sorrow.