Chapter 2
When Achilles was five, he had, what his dad loves to call, the funniest meltdown ever. He can't really remember anything about it, but he has heard the story at least three billion times. It's his father's favorite one of Achilles' childhood anecdotes. Ever since it happened, it came up on a regular basis; During birthdays, family gatherings, moments of nostalgia, story exchanges between friends or colleagues, or random Thursdays. Achilles was never safe from it, and so even though he has no recollection of the event himself, he could tell the story backwards in Mandarin if someone woke him up at three in the morning and asked for it.
It happened on a Monday. August 3rd to be exact, two days after Achilles' fifth birthday. He had a crazy dinosaur phase at the time, and basically ever single one of his relatives had bought him a dinosaur related gift; Hard-plastic figurines, plushies, a costume, an umbrella, shirts, shoes, sunglasses and a kite. There were dinosaur shaped ballons and a volcano cake, which, in retrospect, was a little bit off topic.
By the time Monday rolled around, Achilles had been thrilled to show off his gifts to all his friends. He wore his stegosaurus hoodie with the triangular plates along his back and the hood, his triceratops sunglasses with the horns, and his sneakers with a t-rex colored on the outside each shoe. Even though it was a sunny morning, Achilles was holding his brontosaurus umbrella in his left hand, and a bag of dinosaur figurines in his right. He spent the entire way to kindergarten explaining to his dad who'd be allowed to play with his dinosaurs, try on his hoodie or hold his umbrella.
When his dad picked him up several hours later, Achilles picked up right where they left their conversation, and told him about Noah, who hugged him for minutes because he was so happy to play with the spinosaurus, Alex, who promised to join him later during autumn to teach him how to let his new pterodactyl kite fly, and Lily, who refused to take off his hoodie, and even got into an argument about it with one of their teachers. Another girl named Josie adored his sunglasses so much that Achilles had promised to ask his aunt where she got them, so Josie's parents could get her a pair too, and they could be dinosaur-sunglasses-twins.
The meltdown occurred ten minutes after they made it home. Achilles walked to his room, put his dinosaur figurines back in his toy basket, that was sitting on the floor next to his velociraptor plushy. Achilles came running out of his room wailing, holding the plushy in the air, and talking nonsense through his sobs for several minutes, until his dad could finally calm him down enough to understand what was going on.
Achilles explained that Diomedes, the person who originally loved dinosaurs, and therefor introduces Achilles to his now favorite interest, was a huge fan of velociraptors. But he forgot to bring the plushy to daycare, and also didn't even convince his teacher to let him go visit Diomedes kindergarten group to at least show him his other gifts.
Therefore, Achilles was certain this made him the worst friend in the whole entire universe and Diomedes would never ever talk to him again as long as he lived.
It took the rest of the day to reassure Achilles that he's not the worst person that ever walked planet earth, and it's quite impossible to give all of your friends the same amount of attention all the time, especially if you have as many friends as Achilles. In the end, that's what it came down to, Achilles just had a ton of friends, and he wanted to be there for all of them.
And now, almost two decades, and relentless teasing about that damn topic later, Achilles needs someone to talk to and not a single soul is to be found anywhere.
Penelope is visiting her sister, brother in law, and their newborn baby, Clytemnestra is on a study trip, Ajax is at work, Odysseus is just gone, and Achilles can't figure out where he is, and Diomedes has left him on read for almost three minutes now. Probably revenge for the velociraptor incident.
Before he can do something stupid like looking for answers at the bottom of a whiskey bottle, there's footsteps in the hallway, followed by the sounds of keys unlocking the front door.
"Dude, you look crazy." Diomedes greets him, throwing his backpack and jacket on the couch even though he knows that Achilles hates chaos in their shared living space.
"Well thank you," Achilles says dramatically, following his friend into the kitchen. "I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown."
"No you're not." Says Diomedes without even looking at him. "You go all quiet if something serious happens, which means you're just being a fucking drama queen right now."
"How dare you." Achilles gasps, clutching his non-existing pearls in a way that plays right into Diomedes' statement.
"So, go on," His friend makes a dramatic hand-gesture as if to leave the stage to him. "How's the world ending today?"
"Something worrying is happening," Achilles starts to explain through the irritation of watching Diomedes being more focused on his snickers than him. "As you know, Patroclus is going to meet up with Briseis like every Friday-"
"And your co-dependent heart can't take that?"
"Shut the fuck up," Achilles says with a threateningly sweet smile on his face, before continuing. "And since I was busy with my latest group project for the entire week, and we haven't seen each other at all, I wanted to use his weekly pet shop shopping tour to catch up, right?"
"Right."
"So I walked there straight from class, down Battersby Street, and because I was already late, I decided to take the back door-"
"Frank told you a million times not to do that." Diomedes whines. "You almost found yourself at the wrong end of his taser the last time you ignored him."
"Fun times," Achilles laughs. "That's why I was very careful today. I was quiet, almost crawled through the hallway so I wouldn't surprise him again. That's also the reason I hesitated a moment before walking through the staff door into the shop. I wanted to listen if someone might be standing close to it."
"Okay." Diomedes says, but his tone sounds questioning enough, which lets Achilles draw the conclusion that he already started to sound defensive about his actions, even though he hasn't even mentioned the worst part yet.
"I heard muffled voices, so I knew that they were further in the front, and I could also make out that it was a conversation between Hay and Patroclus. I opened the door, and I really wanted to make my presence known, but they got all weird all of a sudden!"
"How so?" Diomedes asks, sounding a little bit more interest, even though he's still looking at his chocolate bar.
"Hay walked around the counter, and they were standing real close, and talking a lot quieter-"
"Maybe they figured out that you were there?" Diomedes provides unhelpfully.
"No." Achilles whines. "It wasn't like they were whispering, just talking significantly less loud and cheerful."
"So you stayed to eavesdrop?"
"No!" Achilles blurts out defensively. "I mean- I didn't intent to! I was going to close the door and give them some privacy!"
"But?" His friend laughs.
"Then I heard what they were talking about! It was all very weird and vague, but I think- I mean, I'm quite sure Patroclus is dating-"
"Shit," Diomedes says, his eyes instantly snapping up from his chocolate, laser focused on Achilles. "I'm sorry."
Achilles is rendered speechless immediately, just stupidly blinking down at his friend on the couch. He didn't finish his sentence, and he wasn't even close to finishing the rest of the story. Diomedes doesn't know about Patroclus' unsure expression and heartbreaking story yet.
"What?" He finally asks, his voice dripping confusion. "I haven't even told you about- What are you even sorry fo- Oh my god! Are you dating Patroclus?"
"What?" Diomedes screeches, and if Achilles wasn't mentally preparing the murder and mysterious disappearance of his friend, he might have found humor in the way Diomedes' face loses all color, or how he's throwing his hands in the air as if expecting a gun any second.
"Are you dating Patroclus?" He repeats, leaving a small, maddening pause between each word.
"No!" Diomedes stutters. "What the fuck! Of course not!"
"Then why are you sorry?" Achilles demands, narrowing his eyes at his friend.
"Because you've been sending me crazy texts, and you looked sad!" Diomedes says, and it sounds more like one really long word than a sentence. "I thought- I know you're-"
"Not that again." Achilles whines, instantly knowing where the conversation will go from here on. "I am not in love with Patroclus."
"Yeah, sure." Diomedes deadpans. "The murderous glint I just saw in your eyes came from a place of platonic friendship."
"No," Achilles says through gritted teeth. "It comes from a place where I have to be worried that Patroclus' boyfriend is mistreating him!"
"What?" Diomedes says, finally with the appropriate amount of shock, indignation and compassion.
"And I don't know why he's only talking about it with Hay!" Achilles says, back to his whining ways. "Briseis walked in on them - through the front door - and they totally lied to her about what they were talking about!"
"What exactly did they talk about though?" Diomedes asks.
"Apparently," Achilles starts to explain, already rolling his eyes. "This dumb fucker doesn't care about him at all, ignores his texts, and acts completely indifferent about the questions Patroclus asks! Imagine asking your boyfriend what color nails you should get, and he treats you like you're expecting him to write you bachelor's thesis!"
"Wait, wait, wait!" Diomedes chokes out, half laughing. "That's what this is about? Nail colors? God, Achilles, I thought the guy might hit him! If that's all he's a jerk and nothing more. Patroclus will be getting sick of him in no time, and there won't be anything left to worry about."
With that, Diomedes walks back to the kitchen, looking through the cupboards, seemingly done with the topic.
What the fuck
Fine
If Diomedes thinks it not worth talking about, Achilles is going to do this on his own. Maybe talking isn't the right approach anyway. That's also why he didn't try to talk to Patroclus immediately; The risk of not being listened to, of getting a similar reaction he did from Diomedes.
His dad always says that actions speak louder than words, so it might be time to try his way of life. Since pointing out with words that Patroclus' boyfriend is a major asshole undeserving of his time and presence seemingly doesn't work, Achilles has to make sure that Patroclus sees how he should be treated. They're best friends anyway, so Patroclus won't even find it strange if Achilles turns it up a notch.