Epsilon
[Awa’atlu - Jake Sully’s mauri pod]
It was nightfall when Kiri had entered their mauri pod. Considering how late it was, she was surprised to find that no one was asleep. Lo’ak, Neteyam, Tuk, her mother and father were seated around in a circle in the centre of their mauri pod.
“So, no one’s sleeping,” Kiri murmured as she walked towards them. Her steps were smaller as she assessed the gazes levied against her.
“Kiri,” Jake started awkwardly. The moment he opened his mouth, his body tremored.
“We need to talk,” Kiri murmured as she sat between Lo’ak and Neteyam.
“Yes – of course,” Jake murmured while holding onto Tuk’s and Neytiri’s hand. “We’re here for you. You know this,” he added while looking at Neytiri who was nodding at his words.
At that moment, Kiri wanted to scream that if they were there for her, Spider would be here. Yet, that wasn’t the nature of the conversation, and she verily knew it as she bit back her tongue while inhaling deeply. A moment had passed before she opened her mouth. “Why?” she asked her father.
“Why did you think it was a good idea to leave Spider behind?” she asked in a monotone that unsettled Jake greatly.
“I…” Jake started.
“Your father was doing what he thought best,” Neytiri answered in a mellowed down voice. It missed the rasping tone as she approached the matter in a gentler manner.
“We were raised with him… you raised him… one way or another, you could have sent him back but you didn’t,” Kiri answered her mother. “Yet, you raised him… you had a hand in his upbringing,” she murmured as she faced Jake.
“I know,” Jake answered as his hand on Neytiri’s hand tightened. “It was a mistake… I was desperate, and I didn’t think things through. I thought… I thought they would look after him because he was human,” Jake continued as his voice quietened. “But I was wrong.”
“We told you,” Kiri noted aggressively. “I told you.”
“I… yes,” Jake answered meekly.
“And when mom was willing to kill Spider on the ship… you did nothing,” she continued brashly as tears began to well on her eyelids. “You just stood there.”
“I was trying to save your life,” Neytiri murmured. Her voice was a little coarser than before. Though mistakes had been made, she was doing it to save her daughter’s life. Was that notion wrong?
“But I’m not your daughter,” Kiri murmured. Immediately, a hissing sound could be heard by all her family members.
“Kiri,” Lo’ak said. He had been silent for most parts, but in his mind, his sister had gone too far.
“I do not mean it in a bad way,” Kiri answered as she turned away from Lo’ak to face her father and mother. “I am grateful… I really am… but it doesn’t change the fact that me and Spider are the same. Like him, I was born on Pandora, like him, I was born to a human… though in an avatar body, she was still human. The only difference between me and Spider is skin.”
“I… yes,” Neytiri said as she cautiously eyed Jake. “You are right.”
“No… you hated Spider for far too long. I remember in our youth… you would always tell us not to hang out with him… you hate him,” she continued as a trickle of rage coursed through her body.
“Kiri,” Jake said. “Please… you have to understand-”
“What does she have to understand?” Neteyam asked as he ignored the subtle stares lingering on him. He was known as the quiet one, the more obedient soldier like Na’vi that represented Jake. “Kiri told me… a son for a son,” he harshly stated.
Kiri’s and Lo’ak’s eyes widened.
“Neteyam,” Neytiri said.
“I… chose to go and save Spider. You would have let my death be in vain if you sent Spider away,” he mused in a quieter tone, but enough that they all heard. “And Eywa knew,” he added as an afterthought.
“What do you mean?” Kiri asked as Neytiri and Jake looked on with a confused state.
“Eywa spoke to him… the stranger,” Lo’ak noted. “After he had saved Neteyam… Eywa spoke to him. she called him by his name… Loki.”
“She knew,” Neteyam continued as he ignored his mother’s and father’s distressed plights. “He just vanished… and it didn’t make sense.” He continued as his voice quietened. “But then it did. Spider didn’t even want to it… but you were ready to trade him off.”
“He belongs with his kind,” Neytiri answered heartfully. “He cannot live with us.”
“Yet he was tortured,” Kiri murmured as she darkly eyed Neytiri. “If he belonged with his kind why was he tortured? I’ll tell you why, because he doesn’t belong with them! and in the end, what good came out of it? A son killed a father,” she mumbled as a burst of crackling laughter filled the air. “In the end… you made him a killer.”
“Kiri,” Jake murmured.
“Don’t defend her dad… because there is nothing to defend,” Kiri answered.
“Kiri,” Lo’ak said.
“If I am wrong – tell me,” Kiri murmured as she turned to face Lo’ak. Seeing his resigned expression, she turned her head once more to face her mother. “The truth is… you saw him as his father. You saw him as the man that burned and grazed the Na’vi all those years ago. You saw him as the devil and demon that brought heartache… what you didn’t do, was see him as the boy he was… the boy who was not his father, the boy who did not take part in that war, the boy who was more concerned about painting himself blue than eating food.”
And in that moment, Neytiri knew that Kiri was right. She had seen him as his father, and not as the boy he was.
“You said… that the great mother holds all her children in her heart,” Kiri continued as tears began welling down from the edges of her eyelids.
Seeing her daughter cry was the worst pain she could ever feel. She had been in battles and she had bled, but the pain she was feeling was different.
She felt small, and insignificant as she could feel the hardened gaze from Jake and her children.
Eywa, please, she mused.
And suddenly, in that one moment, everyone had faded out of her peripheral vision.
Instead, she sees a boy that cannot exist, Spider.
The first time she saw him, she was curious. It was one thing to see humans in their adult form, but it was another to see a little babe that reminded her of Na’vi children. She found it surprising and hateful that an offspring of such an evil being like Miles Quaritch would resemble a Na’vi child.
Yet the boy proved her wrong. She remembers the sweet innocence that made her snigger and smile on rare occasions. A notion that was shared by her husband and children and that greatly terrified her.
The second time she saw him, it was pure luck. She found herself walking through the laboratory when she could hear splashes from one of the rooms. Her ears perked, and she found herself being curious.
Venturing through the winding corridors, she found the little boy in what seemed like a bathtub taking a bath.
He was unoccupied, and Neytiri had the darkest thoughts coursing through her body as she walked towards him. She could have smothered him, she could have simply pushed his little head under water and been done with it.
But then he smiled. A smile that she had only seen once that reminded her of Jake.
Tears crept on the edges of her eyes as she found herself slowly moving away. Yet, as she continued to move away, she felt a hand grabbing her tail.
Her eyes widened when she realised it was Spider.
She wasn’t sure why, but her body moved on its own accord, and soon, she found herself bathing the child.
The third time she saw him, she was most certainly angry, and she didn’t know why. One moment, she was watching her children play with Spider and the next, she found herself letting an instinctive and tenacious roar that sparked violence and shockwaves as branches, twigs and animals fluttered against her coarse screams.
She remembers holding the boy tightly.
She remembers the boy’s small frame curling up against her own warmth.
She remembers thinking the boy had died because his piercing screams turned into silence.
She remembers the way she looks down thinking her darkest thoughts have come to pass.
But it did not. Instead, she was met with the biggest smile she had ever seen.
And she remembers her heart soaring at such a thought.
Oh Eywa, Neytiri mused as she focused back on her family. She sees Kiri crying shamelessly as wet, hot tears start dropping like a waterfall.
“Oh Eywa,” Neytiri murmured as she pulled Kiri into a tightening hug. “I am so sorry,” she murmured as she rubbed Kiri’s back while rocking her side to side. “I am so sorry,” she muffled as she eyed Jake Sully. “I lost myself Kiri,” she murmured in a hushed whispered tone. “I lost myself,” she repeated.
“I miss him,” Kiri whimpered as she sunk into Neytiri’s shoulders.
“Yes,” Neytiri cooed. She had lost her way. Somewhere, in the past, Neytiri had forgotten herself, forgotten the values that she was brought up on, but not anymore as her gaze hardened on Jake.
No words were needed. At that moment, they were both thinking of the same thing.
Spider needed to come home.
-
It was rare for Tonowari to stand outside a mauri pod. It was even rarer to be eavesdropping, but he was Olo’eyktan, the leader of the Metkayina clan. He was their leader, and he took it upon himself to make sure everyone was well, and safe, and if that meant crossing a few lines of trust he would gladly do so.
The burden was his, and his alone.
Seeing and hearing the heartfelt expression, he found himself slowly drifting away as he wanted the family to remain in their solace.
The child was right, and Tonowari verily knew it. We are all children of Eywa, he mused as he turned his gaze to the camp.
“You should be inside little one,” he murmured without turning around. “You should be inside with your family.”
“mmm mmm,” Tuk answered as she walked up towards the Olo’eyktan. “Yeah,” she added as an afterthought as she looked back over her shoulder to see her family.
“You are unsettled,” Tonowari murmured as he turned around to face Tuk. “You are worried about the man child.”
“Yes,” Tuk whimpered. She was the youngest of her siblings, and while there were many things she understood, there were other things she did not understand. “If… if he’s well, why doesn’t he come?”
“Because he is on a journey,” Tonowari answered as he knelt onto the ground with one hand on Tuk’s shoulder. “Like we all are… in our own way, we are all born with a purpose… it could be that he is simply trying to find his purpose before returning home.”
“But his journey is with us,” Tuk murmured. “Not with some… stranger,” she continued.
Tonowari noticed the hesitant, yet distasteful bitterness that spewed on the word stranger. “Oh, little one,” he murmured with a smile. “Eywa works in mysterious ways. That stranger saved your brother, did he not?”
“mmm mmm,” Tuk answered feverishly, almost feeling distraught that she had forgotten that the stranger had saved her eldest brother, but it didn’t change the way she felt. “Family is meant to stick together.”
“I agree,” Tonowari answered. He firmly believed that family are meant to be together, but he also knew that there would come a day when he would need to let Tsireya and Aonung do what they want.
“mmm mmm,” Tuk murmured. “I guess it’s okay… he won’t forget us,” she added half-heartedly. She wasn’t sure if she believed her own words, but what else could she do? “At least the stranger wore blue… Spider likes wearing blue,” she added in a hushed tone of a whisper as she remembered Spider’s need to paint himself blue. “Thank you,” she murmured before turning away and running back into the mauri pod.
She was so quick in moving away, she didn’t see Tonowari’s eyes widening. “So, it is you,” he murmured as he turned his gaze towards the bright skies. “The one who is blue… yet not,” he murmured quietly as he looked over his shoulder. “No… she’s a child, the significance is not noted… or Neytiri and Jake Sully would have come and found me,” he murmured as he walked away towards his mauri pod.
“Husband,” Ronal murmured as she walked towards him. “I know that look,” she murmured as she eyed Jake Sully’s mauri pod in the background.
“Wife,” he murmured as he pulled her into a gentle embrace. “You worry, when there is nothing to worry about.”
Ronal couldn’t help but sneer as she placed a hand on her pregnant belly.
“The loss of Ro’a is unfortunate,” Tonowari murmured as he pulled back. “But do not let her death cloud your judgement. They are good people.”
“Yes,” Ronal answered after a moment. There had been moments where she believed herself to have judged Jake Sully’s family harshly, but there were moments where she had thought she was justified.
“Change is necessary,” Tonowari continued as he began walking back to their mauri pod.
“Indeed,” Ronal murmured as she too walked with Tonowari. “Yet, you did not answer my question.”
Tonowari smiled. “A certain truth has come to light,” he soothed.
His voice was rich, and certain. Before, when he had spoken to herself and their children, he seemed unsure and at a loss. “And will you tell?” she murmured as she rested her head against his chest while bringing his hand around her shoulder.
“The youngest of the family said something,” Tonowari murmured as they approached their mauri pod. “She mentioned that the stranger was blue – the same stranger that saved Neteyam.”
“Blue?” Ronal asked. “That’s impossible… Tsireya… all of them, they said he looked like a demon.”
“It is… and it is not,” Tonowari murmured as he helped Ronal sit on their matted floor. “Remember the discussion we had with Tsireya and Aonung?”
She nodded in kind as she watched Tonowari taking his spot in front of her.
“The boy that travelled from the other world… While what I said is something that has passed from Olo’eyktan to Olo’eyktan… There is also a rumour. A rumour that has passed from Olo’eyktan to Olo’eyktan.”
“Rumour?” Ronal murmured as she watched Tonowari rumbling through what she saw as barked documents from their ancestors.
“Here,” Tonowari murmured as he passed a wooden slab.
Two words were scribed.
“Frost Giant.”
-
[Pandora – Northern Mountains]
“I’m bored,” Spider yawned as he walked through the thickened clumps of snow. “And this is boring,” he continued in a disgruntled manner as Loki continued to ignore him.
“I’m talking to you,” Spider murmured as he quickened his pace to keep up with Loki. “You’re walking too fast.”
“Then walk faster,” Loki replied as he ventured down a narrowing, spiralling path smothered by arched woven trees.
“Ugh,” Spider murmured as he followed Loki.
Seconds turned to minutes, and then minutes turned to hours before they finally reached their destination.
His eyes widened in surprise as Loki moved over to the side.
A lake, in the middle of the mountain smothered in what looked like a cavern. “Where’s the water coming from?” he asked as he walked past Loki.
“There’s a hollow drop that links the lake to the ocean… right in the centre, going down,” Loki answered as he found himself sitting on rock that was covered by snow. “Provided you do not venture to the centre… you will be fine.”
“This is beautiful,” Spider murmured as he looked around. It was a mountain… at least, on the face of it. Now, being in the centre he realised that it was a cavern of sorts. As far as the eye could see, he could see snowy green trees smothered in thick clumps of snow and ice. Yet the lake didn’t have an inch of snow. Instead, it was clear and bright.
“Most places have a tree of souls or a spirit tree, but not here. Here, nothing is needed as this is the northernmost point there. From here… all directions are south,” Loki answered as he conjured a cup with steam brewing from it.
“What are we doing here?” Spider asked as he watched Loki drinking from his cup.
“We are doing nothing, but you… that is an entirely different matter,” Loki answered with a wicked grin as he blew into the steam. “You have no queue… granted, but that mask… that Exopack isn’t helping your cause.”
“I can’t breathe without it, genius,” Spider murmured in response.
His eyes narrowed. “Less of the sarcasm, idiot,” Loki answered with a bemused smile as memories of his brother Thor flourished into his mind.
“Given what you are… a human, you need a minimum of … let’s say 20-22%. My folklore on mankind isn’t that accurate, but close enough,” Loki said.
“Which isn’t enough for me,” Spider answered. “Which is why I have a mask.”
Loki rolled his eyes. “Add in the fact that you were born here… some innate attributes can only be beneficial… so we can probably bring that minimum down… but that’s not the point… the point is, you’d have 20 odd seconds before fatigue kicks in which would result in you being unconscious. What that means is… that you have up to 20 seconds to breathe the air in Pandora.”
Spider’s eyes widened. “Are you mad?”
Loki shrugged his shoulders while letting a short chuckle loose. “Maybe… but you already tried killing yourself, so there’s no real loss in this. Take your mask off and take a couple breaths before putting it back on.”
The sheer bluntness unsettled Spider greatly. He immediately wanted to protest but found Loki’s calming stature to be nerving.
Thinking it through, Loki had taught him how to hunt food and he had saved him.
He didn’t know why, but he slowly found himself lifting his Exopack in an upright position.
He saved me… he wouldn’t just let me die… would he? He murmured as he lifted the Exopack.
It felt different, he realised. Granted, he could see the same thing he saw while he was wearing an Exopack, but it felt different, and it was a good kind of different as Spider took his first breath.
It was biblical, and rich as a headache started shifting into Spider’s temple.
A second breath was taken and the world he knew seemed to flourish.
A third breath was taken before the mask came back on, and Spider found himself missing the fresh air of Pandora.
“How did it feel?” Loki asked as he continued to sip on his drink. “Oooh… mint tea. Just how I like it,” he murmured.
“Amazing,” Spider wheezed as he adjusted himself against the Exopack.
“Great,” Loki murmured with a short smile. “And look… he’s on time.”
“What?” Spider asked as he followed Loki’s gaze.
Immediately, a mountain banshee’s piercing screams could be heard. The large looking dragon descended slowly.
Spider hissed as he forced himself into a crouching position.
“You are not here to fight,” Loki soothed as he took a gulp from his drink.
“That’s a wild animal,” Spider roared.
“I know… you did just call it after all,” Loki answered with a smile.
“What?” Spider roared as he turned around to face Loki.
“The Exopack… when you took it off, the rays bounced. Any creature in the sky would have seen you really… also, you really shouldn’t turn your back on him,” Loki murmured as he pointed in Spider’s direction.
“You bastard,” Spider shouted as he turned around to see the large mountain banshee’s mouth ajar while saliva would creep and drool from the corners of its mouth.
“You will bond with it,” Loki murmured. “You will do it, or you will die trying.”
“Are you crazy?” Spider roared as he watched the menacing mountain banshee cautiously sizing him up while manoeuvring itself forward.
With his free hand on his chin. “Maybe,” Loki answered with a deadpan expression.