Zeta
[Pandora – Northern Mountains]
With every breath, he could see a cascade of shimmering vapour being exhaled and eclipsed by the air around him. Shrouded in thick clumps of snow, he wheezed back and forth as he watched the mountain banshee known as an Ikran in Na’vi slowly creeping towards him with a crisp, deadly dare while drool slowly dripped from the corners of its jarring mouth.
He wasn’t sure of the time, but he had a good feeling that minutes had turned into hours at some point. Anything he tried seemed null and pointless and Spider couldn’t help but feel his breaking heart being filled with sadness.
The ability to connect with an animal was essential. It was a requisite needed for the rites of passage under the Omaticayan way.
He expected the inevitable as he turned his head to the side.
Loki had been clear.
You will do it, or you will die trying.
As his softened gaze lingered on the creeping mountain banshee, memories of Jake, Neytiri, Neteyam, Tuk, Kiri and Lo’ak flourished into his mind. He could see the darkness enticing his vision. He could see the family he yearned for disappearing from his mind.
And just when he thought all hope was lost, he heard his voice.
“Are you Na’vi? Or a human?” Loki’s voice murmured.
“Na’vi,” Spider croaked frantically as his gaze was firmly stuck on the moving mountain banshee.
“No,” Loki murmured while shaking his head. “You are not Na’vi… you will never just be Na’vi…to think you are, you might as well wish for death.”
“You said,” Spider murmured.
“I said that you are Na’vi on the inside… but the inside is not the outside. You are a human on the outside… and as such, you are both. Why do you fail to understand that?” Loki asked.
“I… because humans are bad,” Spider murmured. They pillaged and killed anything and everything insight when they invaded Pandora, and as far as Spider was concerned, there can be no good human.
“Yet there is,” answered Loki. He didn’t read Spider’s mind, but he had a good idea of what he was thinking about. After all, he was a Frost Giant who were known as the evillest beings within the nine realms. “You are both… whether you accept it or not, you must understand… you are you… and till you accept that, you will never be whole.”
“I…,” murmured Spider.
“Are you seeking the destruction of Pandora?” Loki voiced.
“What… no?” Spider answered.
“Are you looking to pillage or conquer?” Loki continued in his monotone.
“No,” Spider roared.
“So, accept it… accept it, that you are a good human being who is also Na’vi… accept both or accept none,” Loki purred darkly.
His gaping mouth shuddered as he turned his gaze away from Loki. He knew that he was both, but a part of him was scared and truly believed that he had to choose a side.
And then he remembered. He remembered the words that made him trust Loki.
Eywa has claimed you from the moment you were born.
Immediately, the world he knew dimmed. Nothing but a silhouette of the mountain banshee lingered. He could see the ikran’s heart and hear his own.
It seemed odd that their heartbeats were not synced.
It sounded like an irregular beat, distasteful and unsatisfying.
Spider, Eywa mused.
His eyes widened. An angelic voice chorused from nowhere, but everywhere. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but it felt rich and warm.
“Who’s there?” he screamed.
I am everything, and nothing… my child, Eywa murmured.
“Eywa,” Spider ushered as his beating heart fastened. Immediately, he could feel a cold sensation swarming over his chest.
You must control… control, Eywa mused as her voice began to fade.
“Wait no,” Spider screamed, but there was no answer, just the cold tingling sensation that seemed to hover and swarm over his chest.
Control, he mused silently as he focused on the silhouette.
He didn’t know how. He couldn’t even comprehend why, but his body acted on its own accord. His breathing deepened. It wasn’t frantic, it was controlled and relaxing.
The ikran’s silhouette changed from a colour of darkened grey to a shade of blue.
Spider watched, as the world he knew brightened once more. Panting slowly and steadily, he turned to his side and he could see Loki standing there defiantly with a smirk brewing as his lip curled in an upward direction.
Turning his gaze back to the ikran, Spider watched as the mountain banshee stepped forward. Though this time, there was no malice. There was no drooling saliva. Instead, the wild beast walked around till he came to a halt. Immediately, a wing rose and Spider couldn’t help but gawk as the ikran placed his wing on Spider’s head.
“You are a child of Pandora,” Loki murmured.
“I…”
“Acceptance,” Loki said as he vanished from his spot to reappear standing in front of Spider. “Begins here,” he soothed as he pressed his hand on his chest.
He could feel his eyes beginning to swell as hushed tears began to swarm. Before his tears were of sadness, but this time it was different, it was happiness.
He had tried so hard to be accepted and had lived for as long as he could remember with the pretence that he could never be anything more. Immediately, he pushed Loki’s hand aside and embraced him in a hug.
Taken aback, Loki couldn’t contain his surprise as he feverishly placed his hand on Spider’s shoulder.
He could hear Spider’s muffled tears swarming.
“Let it out,” Loki said. The words felt different. He was no father, yet there was something surreal about it. A sense of purpose and accomplishment flourished into existence. Something, he believed monsters were not capable off.
-
[Pandora - Awa’atlu]
“No,” Ronal answered. “I can’t accept this,” she continued frantically as she paced inside their mauri pod. “First… it is them… the half breeds… and I accepted them because of you… but now? this? Aliens? People from other worlds?”
“Wife,” Tonowari said apologetically. He understood where his mate was coming from. In a matter of days, her thoughts and beliefs had been challenged in a way that undermined her upbringing, but change was necessary and Tonowari knew and readily accepted this.
“What next? Instead of the demons… we’ll be fighting the likes of him?” Ronal seethed.
“Ronal… if he is the boy in question… his kind are powerful to attack and conquer, but they have not done so. We must not assume the worst, till they give us reason too,” Tonowari answered as he turned away.
“And what – we are to harbour a demon if he was to walk upon our shores?” Ronal sneered.
“Yes,” Neytiri answered as she stepped inside the mauri pod as a shocked Ronal and Tonowari turned around to face her.
“Neytiri,” Tonowari said. “I did not know -.”
“I came to say thanks to Tsireya. Kiri mentioned that Tsireya was the reason that Kiri came back to us yesterday,” Neytiri answered as she silently walked around Tonowari’s mauri pod. “I hate Spider as well,” she continued as she faced Ronal. “I lost my sister to them –.”
“Then you should be against this,” roared Ronal as she stepped forward.
“But he is not his father,” Neytiri answered apologetically. “He is not… he is a boy… and he was born here… and he was by Na’vi.”
“I will not allow him to set foot on our island,” Ronal seethed.
“That is your right,” Neytiri murmured. “When we find him, we will leave.” The words were soft, but pure. Neytiri was surprised at how easily her words swirled through her vocal chords.
“Find him?” Tonowari murmured. “You intend to seek him?”
“Yes,” Neytiri murmured. “Ma Jake… he intends to go and find him.”
“He will not find him,” Tonowari answered with a sigh.
Ronal noticed the complacent tone immediately. “You know where he is… more secrets,” she venomously hissed.
“Wife,” Tonowari said.
“No… this is too much Tonowari,” Ronal said as she turned away before moving further into the mauri pod.
Tonowari sighed as he turned and faced Neytiri. “Go to your mauri pod… I will come by tonight. I must see to Ronal first.”
-
[Pandora – Northern Mountains]
The fire was warm and bright even though they were surrounded by snow and darkness. In the corner of his eye, he could see Spider sleeping peacefully against the body of his ikran.
Uncontrollable emotions had left Spider tired, and Loki was grateful that Spider had found inner peace to sleep. With his gaze firmly stuck on Spider’s frail form, he remembers his volatile emotions that left a sense of dread and waste. Knowing that Spider wasn’t in such a state, Loki couldn’t hide his grin.
But like most common occurrences in Loki’s life, nothing was ever that simple. Rainbow colours from the sky shone down with such ferocity that the smallest and finest snow would disperse.
“Thor,” Loki mumbled as the colours of the Bifrost vanished.
“Brother,” Thor muffled as he walked towards Loki while thumping against thick clumps of snow.
“I am not your brother,” Loki answered with a sigh while pointing to a spot that Thor could sit upon. Not too far, but also not too close. “What brings you to my humble aboard of solace?” Loki asked dryly while leaning back against the bark tree that he was resting on.
“We fought together-.”
“Just stop Thor,” Loki murmured quietly. “I am in no mind to argue with you… not when nothing will go into that thick skull of yours.”
“Then explain,” Thor responded. “Explain to me where I have erred. Tell me, so I can be a better brother.”
“It’s too late for that Thor,” Loki answered with a fake smile. “That bridge… is long burned.”
“No,” said Thor. “It’s never too late.”
“Isn’t it?” Loki sniggered. “I was thrown off the Bifrost to venture into the abyss.”
“You let go Loki,” Thor answered. His voice was gentler and quieter. “You weren’t thrown… you let go.”
His eyes narrowed before letting them roll. “You focus on the smallest things and fail to see the bigger picture… like usual,” mumbled Loki.
“Then tell me,” Thor yearned as he leaned forward. “Tell me.”
“There is nothing to say,” Loki answered as he turned his gaze to the side. “What’s done is done. You should focus on your life, God of Thunder.”
“I will not leave till we have this conversation, Loki,” Thor answered grimly. “I might have been blind-sighted before, but not anymore.”
“How did the All-father even allow this visit?” Loki asked curiously. “Does the mighty King of nine have nothing better to do than send his puppet to converse with a lowly degenerate frost giant?”
“Don’t say that,” Thor grumbled menacingly.
“Calling you a puppet?” Loki sneered menacingly.
“Calling yourself a degenerate,” Thor answered. A moment had passed, and Thor couldn’t help but let his lip curl upward as Loki attempted to speak before abruptly stopping himself. “A thousand years had passed… and I never thought I would see the day that the dark prince of Asgard’s tongue would be stilled.”
“A minor setback,” Loki answered as his lip, involuntarily curled upward. “It shan’t happen again.”
“Of course,” Thor answered with a nod. “You are the silver tongue after all,” Thor added with a small smile.
Immediately, Loki squinted. He was surprised that there wasn’t a hint of sarcasm dripping from Thor’s vocal cords, that Thor had actually praised him. “Who are you? and what have you done with Thor?”
“I have changed Loki,” said Thor.
“Through what means? A concussion to the head?” Loki asked with a short chuckle. “A lingering ailment that would soon cease to exist.”
“I have learned Loki,” Thor answered. “When you chose death… I learned,” he murmured with a hint of fire flashing through his iris.
The notion of change was something Loki wasn’t accustomed to. He found it bitter and distasteful as he digested Thor’s words. Moments turned to seconds before Loki sighed. “What’s done is done. Whether it comes out of my mouth, or your thoughts… you know why I chose death.”
“I…yes,” Thor answered with a nod.
“What is the All-father’s purpose – what is the purpose of this visit?” Loki asked as he attempted to change the subject.
“Our father did nothing,” Thor answered. “It was my doing, Loki.”
“Oh?” Loki murmured in interest.
Thor nodded. “I have spoken to mother and father, and they agree with me – you will have visitors while you stay on Pandora – to converse, to support you -,” Thor added mildly.
“Support me?” Loki barked with a short chuckle. “What madness is this?”
“No madness,” Thor answered while shaking his head. “They seek your wellbeing – your best interests at the centre of their hearts so that you may return to Asgard sooner.”
“Bah,” Loki murmured. “And what if I don’t wish to return to Asgard?” Loki asked. The words rolled off his tongue so freely and he couldn’t help but quiver in delight as he watched Thor wincing in distaste.
Thor sighed. “You might have given up on Asgard, but Asgard and the people of Asgard haven’t given up on you. I will wait… we will wait till you are ready, brother,” Thor answered as a beam of rainbow colours fell from the skies.
“I am not your brother,” Loki answered meekly as he watched Thor getting engulfed by the Bifrost.
He thought he would have the last say. To his utter disappointment, it wasn’t to be.
“You will always be my brother.”
And for some reason… Those words fastened his heartbeat, and he couldn’t help but shudder at the thought that there may be some truth in what he said.