Freedom is Sweet

It’s times like these when Tony is glad that he’s never been at the receiving end of the protective ire of Colonel James Rhodes. Barnes is sitting on one of Tony’s rolling chairs without a backrest, looking horrible and horribly out of balance. Despite his comment earlier, Tony is watching like a hawk for any signs of pain, any wires or damage he might have missed.

But despite everything else, the unfamiliar location and people around him, the lab setting, the flashbacks the man is clearly muscling through by the minute, despite Colonel Rhodes staring him down as if… well, as if the man had killed his best friend’s parents, Barnes is doing better. He is holding himself still, hand placed like a still, dead thing on the table next to him, returning Rhodey’s gaze evenly. The man is beginning to resemble the infamous Winter Soldier more and more with each minute he has the time to recover.

“You broke into my compound,” Rhodey starts, polite and charming as always.

“Yes sir,” is the rough response, and Tony wants to roll his eyes. Soldiers amongst themselves. He’s so glad Howard never made true on his threats to have Tony enlisted, he wouldn’t have survived that.

“Why are you here?” 

Barnes’ gaze flicks to Tony, but he very accurately seems to asses that Tony holds zero authority in this conversation and looks Rhodey straight in the eye. “I came to offer Mr. Stark revenge. A bullet between the eyes, an attempt to even things out.”

Tony swallows, doing breathing exercises. It’s the most Barnes has said since Tony has picked him up from the helicopter pad of Stark Tower.

“Why?” 

Rhodey can hold great speeches. He can talk for an hour straight if asked. But he also knows how to talk with maximum impact, a skill Tony never really picked up on.

“I was in pain. I can remember bits and pieces of the last five weeks. Some of what came before.” Barnes swallows hard, something unbidden flashing through his eyes. Tony wants to step in, wants to plead with Rhodey for mercy. But when he looks up Rhodey is already watching him, shaking his head. Tony rolls his eyes, but keeps quiet. “I am not quite sure why anymore, but I knew this was right. This seemed fair.”

Tony can’t contain himself any longer, he scoffs. “None of this is fair,” he mutters, gesturing at Barnes, at his arm and his scars and everything about him that’s missing.

Barnes then looks up at him, and Tony is struck by the clarity of his eyes. “I don’t know what else to do.”

“Do you know where your friends are? Why didn’t you head back to them?” Rhodey takes over the interrogation again, fishing for new information. Barnes snaps back around to him, his eyes hard, everything about his body tensing and coiling, like a panther ready to leap. 

“I’m not going back.”

“Why not?”

Barnes lets out a frustrated hiss, his hand perfectly still on the table. “I don’t know.” He takes a deep breath, and forces himself to relax. He seems to be more frustrated with his lack of answers that Rhodey is, who seems perfectly content staring Barnes down. Tony wants to jump in, wants to get Barnes out of the interrogation seat and just give the man a bed, a much needed shower with loads of shampoo, and some time alone to think, but the safety of the compound comes first.

“Sergeant Barnes, do you know why Wanda Maximoff may be interested in you?” Again that flinch. At this point Tony knows that it’s somehow linked to the title, he doesn’t know how, but he’s been avoiding it ever since he realised. He catches Rhodey’s eye and shakes his head. No point in being subtle when it’s the Winter Soldier between them. Rhodey notices but doesn’t respond, and Tony just hopes he understood. He curses himself for not taking the time to brief him.

It’s strange, watching Barnes breathe out a long and even breath. The man is simultaneously fragile and lethal. Tony can see the strength in his body, the density of him. He’s seen this man kick Steve across a room like he weighs nothing, breaking through high strength security glass, shooting him dead in the face. And yet, he’s sitting here. Taking Rhodey’s stares, his questions, suppressing shakes as memories run through his body. The contrast between the quiet lethality packed into such a bruised and battered body is staggering.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember much past Siberia. I…” He draws a deep shaky breath, the only sign of distress, but the clearest Tony has seen so far. He looks back up at Rhodey, but Rhodey is ignoring him. “I remember being frozen again. Not much past that. If she’s done something with me, I don’t know.”

“Not with you. To you.” Rhodey’s eyes flash up to him, but Tony just stares right back. “What?” 

Rhodey sighs and shakes his head, turning his attention back to Barnes who is frozen solid.

“Barnes?”

Barnes doesn’t react, his hand pressed flat onto the table. Rhodey and Tony share a glance and Tony shakes his head. He shifts, moving so he is standing in Barnes’ line of sight. He doesn’t react to the movement either.

“Barnes, are you in pain? Tell me what’s going on.” Still nothing. He’s breathing slowly, evenly, eyes miles away. Tony’s heart sinks as he slowly realises how he can get a response. He turns to Rhodey.

“Potentially hurt him or potentially hurt me?” He knows the answer he’ll get, but this is Rhodey’s compound and Rhodey’s interrogation. And he doesn’t want to answer this question himself.

“Him, what are you doing?”

Tony sighs and turns to the despondent Barnes. “Being cruel, probably. Soldier,” he barks, and finally gets a response. Barnes moves, sitting up and staring right through Tony’s eyes. “Respond to the question.”

Another shuddering breath. “No pain. Compromised condition.” He blinks, squeezing his eyes shut and finally moving, his face falling into his palm. Quiet, shuddering breaths. Tony turns to Rhodey.

“Tomorrow. He wanted me to shoot him two hours ago, Rhodey. Just one night.” Rhodey looks at him and sighs.

“Just one night.”

Tony grins, Rhodey pretends to be annoyed, and Barnes draws a deep shuddering breath.

“I can go,” he says quietly, looking up at the two of them. He gets up, leaning heavily on the table. “It was stupid to come here, I’ll leave.”

Tony glares at Rhodey. Look what you did! Rhodey sighs. “Barnes, sit down. You’re in no condition to be running around.”

“Better condition than before,” Barnes mutters, glancing at Tony.

“You can sleep here. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Rhodey gives Tony another look, eyebrow raised. You got this? Tony smiles. It’s me. Rhodey sighs and walks towards the exit. Be careful.

Tony watches Barnes as Rhodey leaves, watches as he holds himself together, only to breathe out a silent sigh of relief when the door slides closed. Tony leaves him there, gives him a moment to collect himself while he collects his tools.

“I can stay?” 

Tony holds himself together while his heart breaks apart. Barnes’ voice is so quiet, so small. He turns around.

“We have a bunch of quest rooms for avengers and other people who stop by. And don’t let Rhodey scare you, he’s acting big and tough now, but he’s a soft heart.” 

Barens takes a deep breath, his hand running down the seams of his jeans in a tick Tony recognises from himself. Curious.

“I’m not going back. I… I appreciate your help. The chance to stay. But… I’m not going back.”

Tony has more questions burning through him than he’s ever held in his life, but he manages to contain himself.

“We’re not making you. You didn’t hurt me, we’re not going to keep you here. And we have no obligations or dealings with Rogers and his team. So tomorrow, you can talk to Rhodey, see if you can work something out. And if not, you can walk right out of here.”

Barnes’ eyes finally find him again, uncertainty troubling the clear blue. “I cannot repay you for your help.”

Tony shrugs. “You were hurt. I try to help where I can. This,” he says, gesturing at Barnes’ arm, “this is something where I can help.”

Barnes reaches over to his shoulder, ginger fingers running over the infected flesh there. Tony draws in a sympathetic hiss of air, but Barnes doesn’t even seem to feel the pain, only blank relief showing on his face. When his eyes open, they are clear, ice bright blue fixing on Tony.

“Thank you.”

Tony swallows, and finds that doesn’t help with finding words either. Infamous loudmouth Tony Stark, shut up by a pair of pretty eyes. Tony, no.

“What for?”

Barnes looks around the room, at the Iron Man suits still hovering where Tony had stood, at the spot where they fought just two hours ago, at the toolkit Tony has put back in it’s spot.

“For not calling my by my rank,” he settles on eventually, and the implications scream so loud Tony is deafened by them. Or maybe that’s just his heart in his ears. Tony tries to keep it together while his heart breaks apart. Again. Tony wonders if Barnes knows what he’s doing here, whether he’s dialing into Tony’s protective instinct on purpose. He has the sinking suspicion that Barnes has no idea. That he’s saying whats on his mind for the first time in maybe a century. That he’s clear about what’s on his mind for the first time in a century.

“I’ll show you your room. You need a shower.” Tony pushes himself off the table he’d been leaning against and motions Barnes to follow him. And he ignores the warmth blooming over his aching heart at the soft chuckle behind him, the only sound the Winter Soldier makes as he follows him.

Tony shows Barnes to one of the guest rooms, a moderately sized bedroom with a TV, a desk and an attached bathroom. “All yours for the night, winter wonder. Friday is at your beck and call if you need anything. She has limited access in the rooms, but she will keep track of you if you leave the room. Enjoy the shower,” Tony explains, waggling his eyebrows to make sure the comment comes across as a joke. He’s been harsh enough to the man before him today.

“You’re a kind man, Stark,” is the only answer he gets, just as he’s about to close the door on a dark room with a lonely man inside of it. What are you doing? Being cruel. Tony turns to walk to the elevator. You’re a kind man.

“Friday?”

“Yes, boss?”

“I’m sorry if I was harsh today. You did great, all things consider.”

Friday hums in a way she has picked up from Pepper, and Tony loves her for this. Jarvis was Jarvis before he was an AI, but Friday has never been anyone, so she is a mosaic of all the people around Tony, his friends and family.

“I understand. It was a stressful situation. Overall, a satisfactory result.” 

Tony scoffs. The Winter Soldier, demure and repentant in one of his guest suites. Running from Steve Rogers, his bestie. Satisfactory results indeed.

“Take good care of him, baby girl.” Tony steps into the elevator and Friday takes him up to the floor his apartment is on. “That man deserves all the help we can get our hands on.”