Run Away With Me

It is not just about the beautiful parts of love,

It's also about the dark side.

It's about how everything wonderful and everything bad ultimately can start with love.

-Craig Mazin, The Last Of Us

I should’ve been dead.

I should’ve been dead.

I should've been dead.

Shuri opened her eyes as the waves washed up on her feet tenderly as if waking her up like a gentle lullaby.

Shuri opened her eyes.

The Haiti sky, burning in her eyes.

Shuri woke up on the shore of the beach, drenched and wet.

She gazed at the sky for a moment. Completely blank.

And got up from the beach.

Walking back to her home.

Starting her daily routine,

She would send Nakia and Toussaint to school. Well…it depends on her mood of the day, whether she woke up in time. Nakia would always let her sleep, not wanting to wake her up;

She would go to the market and buy stuff according to Nakia's groceries list;

After that, she would either go to the school to wander around or went back home to sketch some blueprints;

Then, fetching Toussaint home when his class ends while sometimes Nakia comes with them, or she stays back to sort out the other things in school;

She would either accompany Toussaint while he played with his friends or they spend their Aunt-Nephew time at home, teaching him his homework, or talking about their home , Wakanda.

Nakia comes home. And they prepared dinner together. The Aunt-Nephew would usually slack off while they cuddle on the couch, read a book together, or have a nap.

And the day ends. And the next day arrives.

Shuri is grateful for the presence of Toussaint and thankful for having a home here with Nakia and Toussaint.

Shuri slowly walked back to their home and started her day as said. Putting a smile on her face when she sees T'Challa Jr—

As if she woke up on the beach was just a dream.

As if nothing happened.

He's dominating on the soccer pitch.

Toussaint, T'Challa, her nephew, her umtshana, her little ball of sunshine and a little cute human being that is full of spirit and energy all the time. Just like his father—

"—Aunty! I scored a goal! Did you see that?!" Toussaint ran up to his aunty, Shuri, who was sitting at the side, and couldn't take her eyes off him on the field.

Shuri put up a big smile on her face.

"Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world! You have a strong kick there! Nice one, my umtshana!" Shuri replied while wiping off the sweat on Toussaint's forehead gently. Pinching his cheek cheekily.

"Hehe~ thank you, Aunty! Can I play for a few more rounds with my friends before we go home?" T'Challa Jr. used his big and beautiful eyes to plead with Shuri.

She looked away and chuckled while saying, "Go, go and make me proud."

The boy beamed at her. Looking just like his father. Her brother, T'Challa.

"I won't let you down, umakazi!" Toussaint sprinted back onto the field, ready to make his aunt proud.

Shuri watched him run like a little panther cub on the field, passing the ball strategically and dodging the others swiftly. Her mind wanders—

Toussaint will be a great King for Wakanda when the time comes.

He will be a great Black Panther. 

He will be strong enough to take up the mantle and continue their family's legacy.

Because he is Brother's son.

And Shuri passed her dream to the young boy.

She entrusted her frozendream to Toussaint with ease.

But the smile on Shuri's face slowly faded, she averted her gaze away from the young boy, looking at her own feet.

Shuri suddenly felt sad…

Because she won't be there to see him sit on the throne one day.

She had hoped that—

They won't blame her for leaving them so soon.

While on the field, the ball was kicked with force and it hit the wall. Sending the ball to bounce to her, Shuri's senses immediately tensed up and were on high alert. Her instincts instantly died down when she saw it was a ball landing on her feet, she was startled a bit but reacted quickly, she stood up and kicked the ball back to the field precisely.

"Sorry, Aunt Shuri! Thanks!" One of Toussaint's friends shouted.

Shuri waved him off and sat back down. Her trails of thoughts broken apart, she suddenly couldn't recall what she was thinking just now…

So, she heard the voices around her instead.

The children's joyful laughter rings in her ear. She looked around. Everyone has a wide smile on their face while they were having so much fun, she rubbed her aching temple, losing herself in her thoughts again—

It feels like everybody's happy but her.

It feels like everybody's happy but her.

It feels like everybody's happy but her.

While she—

"…Aunty?... Why do you look…sad? Are you okay…?" Toussaint had come to her side unknowingly while she spiraled into her thoughts.

Shuri put up a smile on her face.

"It was just the hot weather, baby boy~ The sun is so hot it melted my smile! Look—!" Shuri dramatically curved up her mouth into a big smile and then curved down playfully to make a sad and pouting face, making Toussaint giggle at her lively demonstration.

"No way, Aunty! You are hotter than the sun!" Toussaint said cheekily.

"For Bast's sake, where did you learn that?" Shuri rolled her eyes fondly at him. He must have learned it from the market when they went to buy groceries together, the locals liked to tease her.

"Secret! Let's go home then before you melted like my ice cream the other day!" Toussaint tugged her up while waving goodbye to his friends, Shuri smiled at them, waving goodbye as usual.

"I know what you're up to, young man, you want to eat ice cream, don't you? Your mum is going to nag me for this—" Still, Shuri tugged him instead and the aunt and nephew walked to an ice cream truck. She bought him a chocolate popsicle and they headed home.

Shuri smiled along the way as they bumped into a few people they knew. Exchanging a few words with each other and waving goodbye at the end.

"Aunty, who invented ice cream? He or she is a genius!" Toussaint held up the ice cream to her, "Yep, they are~" she said.

Shuri gently pushed his little hand away and said, "You eat, I know you love it and Nakia doesn't let you eat too many sweets. Your aunty, me, is old, I've outgrown this." Toussaint smiled widely and continued to eat his ice cream with sheer focus. Too busy to notice his aunt tried to smile with all she had.

Shuri held his little hand while they strolled back to their home.

The chattering and the laughter of the market eventually felt very far away from her as they walked not far of a distance away from it.

Shuri's smile eventually died down.

It feels like everybody's happy but her.

As they reached home, she urged Toussaint to take a shower because he stinks while laughing loudly.

"You are so bad, Aunty! I don't stink like the drains!" Toussaint pretends to be angry and stomps off to his room.

He stomped back a few seconds later to bump into Shuri, hugging her and wiping all his sweat on her naughtily.

"Now you are stinky too! You are welcome!" He said while running off. Leaving Shuri smiling on the spot as she does all the time.

Except the smile failed to reach her eyes.

Every time.

Nakia did not say a word about Shuri getting skinnier and skinnier every day.

She looks like even a spoon could crush her if she tried to hit her with it.

But she didn't say a word.

She shows her love instead.

She shows her more love than ever, more than the love she gave Toussaint. Making her baby boy jealous sometimes.

Nakia checks in on her every few hours, ensuring Shuri had eaten her meal and had enough sleep while she noticed she spends more and more time in her room when she doesn't need to take care of Toussaint.

Shuri is…still the same Shuri around them. She was the best aunt Toussaint could ever have, just like how she and T'Challa had imagined together.

She and Toussaint had brought so much joy to their home. They smiled and laughed a lot together.

Still, Shuri looks…empty…to her.

And Nakia had never been more afraid.

That she will lose Shuri like how she had lost T'Challa.

She will not let that happen.

Nakia will try her best.

She will not let more grief fill the hole in Shuri's heart from the loss of Queen Mother and T'Challa.

Shuri rubbed her eyes after reading a few pages of a quite boring book. Feeling tired and having no energy to shift to her bed. She's been sitting here for hours.

She can't sleep. Nearly every day.

She tried to sleep but the nightmares keep coming back every night, flashbacks of her mother dying in front of her and she was helpless, screaming—

A soft knock on her door startled her.

"Shuri, can I come in? I know you are awake…" Nakia's voice calmed her.

Shuri sighed and got up with all her strength. She opened the door to let Nakia in and sat back down on her bed, feeling guilty …

"I'm sorry, Nakia. I just…just having some trouble falling asleep, that's all…" Her voice grew softer as she spoke, overwhelmed by self-blame and apologies. Looking at her tangled fingers instead of Nakia.

Why was she so useless? After all, she is the Black Panther.

"Here, I got you some hot milk, it might help you sleep," Nakia wrapped Shuri's hand around the glass of hot milk, warming her heart slightly.

"Thank you, Nakia— why didn't I think of this earlier? You are a genius~" Shuri put on a smile and looked at Nakia finally.

But Nakia looked at her worriedly. Shuri's condition has gotten worse again, she's been like this over the months…

For the first few days Shuri had finally settled in here, Nakia would hear her scream in her sleep. But it didn't happen ever again when one night Shuri's screams woke up Toussaint. The little boy ran to her room and hugged her tightly. And Shuri held him with her life, she held the little boy so tight as her life depended on it.

Shuri never screamed in her sleep ever again.

But Nakia noticed something else.

Shuri barely falls asleep every night. Her time duration of staying asleep was incredibly short. She only falls asleep when she can't take it anymore.

Nakia had done everything to help her and Shuri had started to sleep more in the morning instead. So, she never wakes Shuri from her sleep.

But it's coming back again these few days.

Shuri averted her gaze and looked down at the glass of milk instead. "...Goodnight—" She said while gulping down the glass at once and returning it to Nakia, getting into the bed and switching off the lights with GRIOT's help. Nakia murmured goodnight gently and closed her door.

Shuri lay in her bed, looking and listening to the whirring sound of the fan on the ceiling. It's fucking annoying— Shuri grunted.

She can't take it anymore.

She reached for the drawer at her bedside and took out a bottle of sleeping pills she got secretly without letting Nakia know. She took four and swallowed it raw. 

Lying back on the bed,

Eyes wide staring at the fan.

When her eyes started to feel heavy,

She prayed for the nightmares to be…more gentle…tonight.

So that she doesn't wake up screaming into her pillow like she had lost everything.

Nakia confronted Shuri when one of the villagers, Yanez, a close friend that she had made while staying in Haiti for five years, told her Shuri had again, bought more than one bottle of sleeping pills this month from her cousin, who works for the mafia in the area.

"Shuri, there is something I want to tell you…" Nakia tugged her to the couch, they sat face to face while Shuri looked at her confused, putting down her sketches.

She's working on a sketch to make Toussaint a slide. Yes, a slide. She might include a swing too. He loves it when Nakia and her take him to a fun fair last time.

"What is it?" She asked.

"What are you sketching there?" Nakia asked.

"Oh, it's nothing. I was just thinking of making a slide and a swing for Toussaint." Shuri shrugged casually. She didn't bring anything with her since she left Wakanda besides her kimoyo beads. But she had sketched countless blueprints for Toussaint to keep herself busy. Distraction. Countless gadgets and trinkets for him to use when he gets older.

"Ohhh, he's going to kiss you for that~" Nakia chuckled, she could have imagined it already.

"He better be." Shuri smiled affectionately, flipped through the pages and showed Nakia her work.

"No wonder you had the kid's charm, Shuri. You know exactly what they want sometimes…" Nakia traced the outline of the sketch—

"Except you don't know what you, yourself want," she said.

And the smile was wiped away from Shuri's face.

I want to die.

"...I want Toussaint to be happy…and you—" That's all she wished for now. Shuri said slowly and put a smile on her face.

"You don't need to pretend in front of me, Shuri…" she said softly.

A smile is the best pretender.

Nakia's eyes stung at the sight of her sister trying so, so hard to smile every day to not let them worry.

It breaks her heart. 

She knows it will break T'Challa's heart if he ever saw his little sister wearing a mask and hiding her sadness from them.

Shuri's face cracked.

Shuri stopped pretending in front of Nakia. She smiled bitterly instead. She mocked herself. For being like this, so weak and pathetic—

"...I…" Shuri wanted to say something. But she doesn't know what to say.

She stopped pretending.

They fell into silence.

The silence brought Shuri a moment of peace and solitude.

The silence brought Nakia an endless dread…

Silence is the loudest cry.

Nakia wanted her to scream and cry out loud instead of suppressing all the emotions inside of her.

Not only tears could feel loss—

Not angry, not happy, not anything—

Is the greatest despair.

Nakka reached out to hold Shuri's hand in hers. Telling her as carefully as possible,

"—With love, comes loss. Grief and love are conjoined— It's alright to feel…what you feel now. I just…this is your home , you don't need to hide how you feel, about the loss of your mother, you don't have to grieve alone, Shuri… my love . I'm not saying you can't but trying to sleep with the help of—" 

Shuri withdrew her hands, tightly clenched into fists, refusing to look at Nakia. Her secret had been uncovered.

Nakia reached out again, to wrap her hands around hers tightly. And Shuri loses all the tension inside of her, her walls break down and her hands could no longer be clenched into fists when she knows Nakia loved her so much, alongside her brother's love.

"Everyone is happy but me, Nakia…"

Shuri put a smile on her face. But it didn't reach her eyes.

"...It hurts more when I smile than when I cry…"

But her tears had dried long ago. She could no longer bring herself to cry. No matter how hard she tried.

Her heart was buried with her mother the day she died.

And the hole in her heart grew wider and wider every time she thought of Mother.

"Shuri, I want to share something with you…about why I came back to Wakanda after I have left home for years…" They sit side by side, shoulder to shoulder, looking out to the windows and the orange sky together.

"Remember I came back to honor your father and support T’Challa to become King. Your brother, he asked me to come home, Nakia." She could still hear his voice in her head clearly.

"And I told him, I’m right here. He said, stay." Nakia could understand how much the word held now.

How much she wanted Shuri to stay with her now.

"But I can’t stay. I found my calling out there. Just like how I found it here, in Haiti." Shuri held her hand tightly, giving her support as Nakia is trying to help her by opening up her own wound. She knows. And she hates herself for it.

"I told him, I've seen too many in need just to turn a blind eye. I can't be happy here knowing that there's people out there who have nothing—"

Shuri hates herself for being like this. There are more unfortunate people out there, people who really had nothing— And she should be grateful for life, she should be thankful, she should be—

"And your brother asked me, what would I have Wakanda do about it?"

Something pops into her mind. Wakanda could do a lot of stuff, they are capable, and they could help the people by—

"Share what we have, that's what I told T'Challa." Nakia still remembered the disapproving look in his eyes.

"We could provide aid and access to technology, and refuge to those who need it. Other countries do it, we could do it better." Shuri recalled her brother assigning her to spearhead the Technology and Information Exchange when she thought he was going to bring her to Coachella or Disneyland. So it was Nakia's idea all along. She changed his mind.

"Your brother did not agree with me, of course—" Nakia smiled at the memory.

"He said…" His words were as clear as yesterday.

"We are not like these other countries, Nakia. If the world found out what we truly are, what we possess. We could lose—"

"We could lose our way of life," Shuri said. "...Is this what he said?" She could hear her brother's voice already.

Nakia shakes her head in nostalgia, they are siblings no doubt.

"Yes. And Wakanda is strong enough to help others and protect ourselves at the same time. But you know him, he always manages to shift the topic when he wants to, he said if I were not so stubborn, I would make a great queen…" 

Shuri smiled slightly. She would love to see that.

"Of course, I fired back at him. Telling him I would make a great queen just because I am so stubborn—" Nakia smiled sadly at the memory.

She missed him so much.

"Ah! See, you admit it!"

"If that's what I wanted~"

She only ever wanted him.

"And after everything went back to normal after Killmonger, he asked me to stay, again."

"Thank you. You saved me."

"There's nothing to thank me for."

"It was my duty to fight for what I love."

"Stay."

"I stayed." Nakia looked at her, and Shuri looked at the dark sky. Taking in everything Nakia had said.

She stayed close to Nakia for the rest of the night. Staying up while she looks at Nakia's tired but sleeping peacefully face all night.

Wishing T'Challa was here instead of her.

Shuri and Toussaint cuddled on the couch, aunt and nephew slacking off when they feel so lazy and sleepy, especially during the evening, they watched the hologram together, it was footage of—

"My name is King T’Challa, son of King T’Chaka. I am the sovereign ruler of the nation of Wakanda, and for the first time in our history, we will be sharing our knowledge and resources with the outside world. Wakanda will no longer watch from the shadows. We cannot, we must not. We will work to be an example of how we as brothers and sisters on this earth should treat each other. Now, more than ever, the illusions of division threaten our very existence."

…

-You were wrong! All of you were wrong! To turn your backs on the rest of the world! We let the fear of our discovery stop us from doing what is right! No more! I cannot stay here with you, Baba.-

…

"We all know the truth, more connects us than separates us. But in times of crisis, the wise build bridges while the foolish build barriers. We must find a way to look after one another as if we were one, single tribe."

It was the footage of T'Challa giving a speech at the UN. The very first time the world had officially known about the existence of Wakanda.

"With all due respect, King T’Challa, what can a nation of farmers have to offer the rest of the world?"

T'Challa smiled.

Shuri smiled. That's her brother.

"Aunty, Baba is so cool~" Toussaint had watched this over a million times. Nakia and Shuri believed it would inspire their little boy, and also, let him know more about his father.

"Yep, he's the coolest big brother I ever have…" Shuri said and—

She missed him so much.

"Like I have the coolest aunt! Everyone is jealous of me~" Toussaint said proudly, beaming at her.

Shuri looked away when Toussaint smiled at her. Pinching his cheeks sweetly instead, "And I have the cutest nephew in the world, is that what you want to hear? You cheeky little rascal~"

"I want to hear more about Baba and Mama's home! I want to hear about your home!" Toussaint eagerly requested.

"Our home," She emphasized. "Wakanda is your home too." Shuri gently told him.

And she tells him stories of Wakanda over and over again. Even though it pains her, she doesn't want to disappoint the excitement in Toussaint's eyes.

Their home is Wakanda. 

Her home is Wakanda.  

And she left.

She doesn't want to stay in her home while she knows all her family is gone. And she's foreverleftalone in her own home, in the world.

So she left where she came from. Left where she belongs.

Shuri only tasted bitter in her mouth whenever she tried to think of the happy memories they once had.

She remembered every single one of them… But soon it was replaced with the sorrowful memories of their death.

Baba died, 

T'Challa died, 

Mama died—

And she is still alive.

What a tragedy.

Shuri couldn't bring herself to stay there anymore.

All she felt was pain and loss in the only home she ever loved.

So, she found a home here with Nakia and Toussaint. She should be more than grateful that Nakia is willing to take her in. She shouldn't be a burden to Nakia and Toussaint. But she had failed.

She found a home here. But she realized— She doesn't belong here.

She belongs to Wakanda. She found a home with Nakia and Toussaint in Haiti. She wouldn't trade it for the world.

But it wasn't the same.

She thought she could start all over again. Having a new life here with Nakia and Toussaint. Wakanda is in the safe hands of herpeople, she doesn't need to worry about anything besides the alliance with Talok—

"It will not fill the hole left from her loss."

"It will only grow larger,"

"And it will consume you."

"It already has."

Nakia was right.

Shuri looked away from watching Toussaint sleeping in her arms.

The hole in her heart consumed piece by piece of her every day she thought of her brother.

It had consumed her.

And she was too tired to fight back anymore.

She thought she could move on;

She thought she could let go;

She thought the moment of comfort that she felt, when she burned her funeral garments, would bring her peace at last.

It didn't.

The feeling of comfort became a fleeting moment, and she was drowned in endless torment again.

What is wrong with me?

When will all of this end?

Help me.

When will I be free from all of this pain?

Shuri tried to hold it back every day.

Forcing herself not to think of ending her life, right here and right now.

She was hanging on a thread.

Reaching out her hand towards the sky,

No one was there to hold her back.

"Are you guys going to help me or decide to just sit there and wait for me to spoon-feed you both?" Nakia's voice comes from the kitchen. Shuri opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling while her hand reached for it. She put her hand down. And put her hopes down.

"To be honest, Nakia? I prefer the latter—" Shuri said playfully, with a hint of mischief in her voice.

"Because I can't move now and your baby is drooling on me—" She added while cradling Toussaint who was sleeping on her soundly.

"Awww, iintsana zam, alright, I'll let you both go this time~ Shuri, you might want to sleep outside, it's cooler outside at night." Nakia came to the couch and checked on them. Toussaint was indeed drooling on Shuri. She wiped the sweat away from their foreheads. And helped Shuri to sit and stand up while being careful not to wake their little boy.

"Okay… just call me if you need help." Shuri wiped away his drool, carried Toussaint in her arms and walked to their front door. They have a swing chair on the porch.

"Ohh, I wouldn't, not even a storm can wake you up if you're asleep," Nakia makes fun of her. While Shuri woke up easily, there were times when she could sleep deeply.

"Ha, don't wake me up until dinner's ready!" Shuri said and sat in the swing chair carefully, the sun had set. The sky was painted with a layer of red and orange. Like crimson. Like blood.  

One day, Shuri hoped that nothing could wake her up anymore.

She tried to hang in there.

But it's not working so well so far.

She dozed off in the swing chair along with Toussaint, feeling the breeze caress her face, and listening to the sound of the waves.

Not even the gentlest touch of it can wake her up from this rare tranquility and peace of mind. She prayed,

Can't wake me up, nothing can wake me up—

I want to live.

Shuri suddenly woke up startled, looking alertly into the distance, but saw nothing . As she looked around their surroundings cautiously, she cradled Toussaint in her arms protectively, not realizing she was squeezing him a bit hard, but the boy didn't wake up.

She checked on Toussaint and patted his back soothingly. She remained seated. Unmoving. And closed her eyes again.

Something was off; she could distinctly feel it.

Someone came; she could sense it.

Shuri opened her eyes when she sensed the gaze landing on her again.

Shuri opened her eyes and she gazed into the distance, almost blending into the evening glow. In the far distance, a blurry figure, he is watching her.

—What is he doing here?

Shuri got up immediately and scanned the perimeter for potential threats, did he come alone or with his people—  

Shuri was on high alert and jumped when Nakia's voice was getting nearer and nearer.

"—Shuri, Toussaint, you both favourite's soup joumou is done, time for dinn—" Nakia came to the porch and found Shuri standing up and tense, in a fighting stance. She scanned the beach alertly, watching it with uneasiness. 

He's gone. In a blink of an eye.

"Shuri? What's wrong? Is something wrong?" Nakia quickly pulled Shuri over and shielded them behind her back. She checked their surroundings and found nothing. 

He's gone.

But she sensed his presence nonetheless.

"...Nothing. Something bit me…and made me jump…" She patted Nakia's shoulder and watched her relax her fighting posture.

"Okay…does it hurt? I'll look at it later. Get back in, dinner's ready, and help me wake Toussaint up." Nakia shushed them back into the house, looked at the empty beach one more time, and shut their door securely.

Namor watched from afar, waiting for nightfall.

At night, they had their dinner. They finished off their favourite soup joumou like a storm. Shuri takes one more scoop of it. Surprisingly, it's the only thing she managed to eat without shoving them down her throat. They cleaned the plates before Toussaint started making a fuss because he wants to eat—

"Marshmallow! Today is a marshmallow day!" He squealed excitedly.

"I don't recall we have a day like this~" Shuri squeezed his cheeks. Giving Nakia a "Your baby~" look.

"Because I just made it up! Can we have marshmallows, Mum? Please, please!" Toussaint swayed Nakia's hand like a spoiled child.

"Sorry to break it to you, umntwana wam. We don't have it~" The last time she checked, the aunt and nephew had finished the last packet like a gust of wind sweeping off the fall's leaves.

Toussaint put on a sad expression on his face, pouting as he looked at Shuri.

Shuri sighed and got up from her seat, put on her jacket and walked towards the door.

"Shuri—" Nakia disapproved of her spoiling Toussaint for the 255th time.

"You better get that fire ready before I come back," She pointed at the little boy and Toussaint skedaddles to prepare the bonfire in front of their porch.

"Be right back, Nakia," She waved her off and headed towards the only local store that sells marshmallows. 

She strolled quickly through the darkness, the sound of her slippers tapping on the ground consistently. Despite it being nighttime, there were still many people active. She reached a local shop and went inside to search for marshmallows that her nephew liked. Then, in French, she asked the shopkeeper about the beer with the highest alcohol content.

"Merci." She bought two packs of marshmallows, two cans of beer and a can of orange juice. It's only been a moment she was out of the house, but Shuri started to get anxious, pacing back to their home immediately after she got the stuff. Until she was cut off by one of the locals.

"The perfect aunt strikes again. Are Nakia and Toussaint doing well, Shuri?" Theo, their neighbour and the English teacher from the school approached her.

"You saw them hours ago, Theo," She couldn't be bothered to pay attention to him and continued walking, casually saying.

"I'm a different man now than the man a few hours ago—" Theo walked her back to the way she came from.

"Hell yeah, you are." Shuri's pace quickened, anxious to get back home. She couldn't leave them alone for too long. They walked in silence.

"He's been wanting to eat marshmallows since the afternoon…" Theo said quietly, pointing at what she held in her hand.

"...Can't let the baby wait, can I? Thank you, Theo. I can go back on my own from here. You don't have to trouble yourself, bet your girls are waiting for you, bye," Shuri didn't wait for him to reply and walked away, casually waving goodbye to the man behind her.

"Enjoy your party—" Theo's voice came from behind. And Shuri can't hear anything besides her heart pounding restlessly.

She went from walking anxiously to running swiftly, one more turn—

Taking another turn, and as she made that turn, she arrived home. What greeted her was their house, untouched by fire, with no signs of any mishap. 

Shuri breathed a sigh of relief, taking a detour to approach the house from the other side. She circled the house a few times, ensuring that all the devices and defenses were online and undamaged, before slowly making her way towards the front of the house, holding the item in her hand and saying,

"Your marshmallow fairy is back~" She tossed the packets to Toussaint, he caught it excitedly, shouting, "You're the best, Aunty!"

"Hell yeah, I am," Shuri chuckled lightly. They sat by the fire, roasting marshmallows.

They toast the marshmallows over the bonfire Nakia and Toussaint made. 

Shuri held Toussaint in her arms as they grilled the marshmallow over the flickering fire, they twirled the skewers until the marshmallow turned golden brown crust, ready to eat. Crispy and caramelized on the outside, soft and gooey on the inside.

"Here you go, umntwana wam." Shuri carefully passes him the skewer and Toussaint eats on it happily.

The warm, creamy, and slightly sticky marshmallow melts in his mouth, with just the right amount of sweetness, sending the young boy dancing between his mother and aunt.

"Is it really that delicious?" Nakia grinned at his antics and Toussaint shared a marshmallow from his skewer to his mama. 

The combination of the caramelized outer layer, the gooey and sweet melted center, and the overall warmth and comforting flavour of the marshmallow make them both "Mmmmmm~" in satisfaction.

Shuri grinned at the mother and son.

She munched on her slightly burnt marshmallow quietly, letting them have their precious moment.

The roasted texture of the marshmallow contrasts between the crispy outer layer and the soft, melted interior. Shuri breathed in the sweet scent of the marshmallow, she only learned how to eat these after she came here. They don't have this back in Wakanda.

Finally, she was able to breathe when they were safe beside her.

"Aunty! Your marshmallow is burnt!" Toussaint laughed at her burnt-out marshmallow. An almost dark golden brown marshmallow, whatever, Shuri just ate it without caring anything in the world.

"Your aunt likes a burnt flavour," Nakia shoved her playfully.

She swallowed down the burnt marshmallow, okay, it's too burnt at this point, she tasted a bit bitter in her mouth.

Shuri gulped mouthful after mouthful of bitter beer, unsure if it was the bitterness of the marshmallow, the bitterness of the alcohol, or her own bitterness at life that consumed her entirely.

Despite it all, she tasted a hint of sweetness amidst the bitterness. The marshmallow, bittersweet in nature, managed to bring a smile to her face. Pretending to be pitiful, Shuri wrinkled her face and lamented, "It's too bitter."

Still, she swallowed it all down.

"Alright, enough sugar intake for today! You won't be able to sleep and wake up for tomorrow!" Nakia lets them have one last marshmallow before cleaning everything up.

"I know how to help him~" Shuri beckons her nephew and lets Toussaint sit on her lap, lifting her beer to the corner of his mouth.

"Just a sip! And you'll be sleeping like a pig real quick!" Shuri jokes.

"Shuri! That's not for kids!" Nakia shakes her head in amusement but doesn't stop her. She downs her beer, feeling drunk already.

"Just a sip—" Toussaint takes a sip as his aunt said and, "Ewwww~ this taste like shit!"

Nakia and Shuri broke out in laughter.

"Okay! You are good to go~" Shuri patted his bottom, instructing him to brush his teeth and get ready for bed, ushering them back into the house while she cleaned the mess. There was still one packet of marshmallows left, saved for next time...

Next time.

Shuri sat alone on the couch, alone in the dark. As all the lights in the house were off.

Toussaint had fallen asleep as dead as a pig as they expected due to the high alcohol content. Nakia followed closely behind, it's been long since she had a deep sleep.

Shuri sips the last of her beer, listening to their steady breathing coming out of Toussaint's room. They are asleep. They are safe.

She finished off the remaining beer, exerting a bit of force as she crushed the beer can into a piece of scrap metal. She casually tossed it into the trash bin and reached out to take the orange juice Toussaint had left on the table.

But when would danger strike while they were asleep? While they thought they were safe—

All thanks to the heart-shaped herb, it looks like one can of high alcohol content doesn't work on her. One can of beer couldn't intoxicate her.

One of the disadvantages of being the Black Panther, it seems.

It was midnight, and Shuri couldn't sleep.

She couldn't sleep.

She couldn't sleep, knowing Namor was lurking out there.

"GRIOT?" Shuri called out softly.

"Yes, Panther?"

"Look after them for me."

"Always, Princess."

Shuri gulped down the orange juice and stood up, crushing the juice can into a piece of useless scrap of metal. Like her. She tossed it into the trash bin and exited the house, tapping on her kimoyo beads and turning the defenses onto the highest security. 

She confronted Namor alone.

Shuri walked slowly along the boundary where the land and the sea met, inching closer to the other side that is far away from home, gradually approaching him. She slipped her hands into her jacket feeling the cold wind brush against her face despite being suited up, her mask was off. It kept her alert as she stopped five steps away from him. 

As she looked at his left ankle wrapped in bandages, she wondered why it still hadn't healed after so long. And couldn't help but think, "You're not as invincible as you think, oh mighty god."

"God," she mocked. She thought silently in her heart.

All she saw was a monster.

Finally, Shuri lifted her gaze, staring at Namor with a cold expression, and asked,

"What do you want?" Why is he here? How does he know I am here? How much had he known that—

"You have taken everything from me, what more do you want?" Shuri sarcastically mocked herself.

There is nothing left for you to take.

Namor averted his gaze and looked behind her.

NO—

No one can know Toussaint is here. No one can hurt Toussaint and Nakia. She must protect them. From everyone that will bring danger to them. Especially from him.

Namor withdrew his gaze from the serene and bustling village in the distance and looked back at her, finally speaking up.

"You look terrible," he mocked her.

Shuri lifts her arm revealing her gauntlet, locked and loaded. She aims it at Namor's head.

Did he come all this way just to mock her with a single sentence?

Irritated by his words. Shuri suppressed her anger, Namor's mere presence already infuriating her. However, she forcefully held back her rage, calming down slightly as she impatiently retorted, "The alliance between Talokan and Wakanda has already been agreed upon and finalized. If you have any further demands, you've come to the wrong place."

She couldn't think of any other reason for him to come here, unless it was to harm them.

"The King—" Shuri nearly choked on her words. She only ever knew one king.

"…The King of Wakanda, M'Baku, will see you." She lowered her arm, after making sure he had no intention of attacking her. Deactivating her suit. It's suffocating her.

Her brother.

"I'm not here for that," Namor said.

"Get lost then." She gave him the ultimatum to leave.

Shuri turns around and leaves. Namor followed her.

She turns around annoyingly and calls for her suit again. Finger pointing at him furiously—

"Don't beat around the bush. Answer me what you want! Don't tell me you came all this way just to tell me how awful I look—!!! I already feel terrible, and if I don't punch you in the face right now, I'll feel sorry for myself! So you better speak up and say what you have to say, and quickly!" Shuri snapped at him in one breath. Frustrated, she took a deep breath. What kind of power did this monster have to anger her like this?

Namor finally speaks up after letting Shuri rage out at him.

"You spared my life. Now I owe you my life…"

She shouldn't have spared him, now what? He's going to repay her by infuriating her so much—

"My life is yours. And so do yours…"

Who the fuck wants your life for??? Shuri doesn't want his fucking life—

"Your life is mine."

Do you want this— Shattered, fragmented, crushed, flawed and broken of a life?

"Since my life is in your hands,"

Take it. I won't stop you.

"I won't let you die."

I won't let you die.

I won't let you die.

I won't let you die.

Shuri gazed at Namor in disbelief.

Namor knows that look.

Suffering in grief and despair. 

Knowing that you will lose everyone you love in this life.

-When you age as I do, you realize we all lose everyone we love.-

Sooner or later. 

It was just a matter of time.

"Run away—" he said.

"..." Shuri thinks this is some kind of cruel joke.

"Run away—" Namor looked her in the eye.

"What?" … Where?

There is no place for me to go.

"Run away with me."

Namor asked Shuri to run away with him.

And Shuri started laughing.

Namor looked at her. Shuri's facial expressions contort with intense amusement, yet there is an underlying sense of disturbance and insanity. Her laughter came on abruptly, catching him off guard, and it made him feel unsettling to witness. Now that's new.

She laughs with a maniac energy. It's as if she has lost control of her emotions, consumed by a chaotic and deranged state of mind.

I should have come sooner. Namor furrowed his brow.

Shuri laughed in irony. She laughed in Namor's face.

She began to laugh maniacally, a mocking laughter that echoed through the deserted beach. She laughed until she doubled over, clutching herself, laughing as if tears would flow, but there were none. She laughed forcefully. Until her throat hurts.

She laughed until her heart was ripped out from her chest. Still, no tears.

Shuri laughed maniacally and then stood up abruptly, her eyes filled with ferocity and madness.

Do you really think you're a god? What gives you the right to decide whether I live or die?

With a chilling tone, Shuri said to him,

"Who do you think you are?" Shuri mocked Namor.

And she walked away and left. Leaving Namor stood there in solitude, watching her depart and feeling a sense of emptiness.

Shuri sat from midnight until the sun came up, unable to fall asleep.

Unable to rest as his voice haunted her like a nightmare's siren.

"Run away with me."

Bast, don't wake me up from this sweet nightmare.