Jaws But Now It’s Cute (And By Cute I Mean Annoying)
We start the episode with Maverick frantically pacing around.
Maverick: I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG! ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I TORTURED YANG FOR NOTHING?!
Volo: No, the super secret source is telling you that you tortured Yang for nothing.
Maverick: Ah, yes, the super secret source.
Volo: You know what? Don’t tell the others who the traitor is. It’s more fun that way.
Maverick: Oh Volo, you and your amazing drama making. It’s like we’re a match made in purgatory.
Volo: (Mumbles) That is until I get the power to make it impossible for me to go to purgatory.
Maverick: What was that?
Volo: Just some secret plans.
Maverick: Cool.
We enter the void where the contestants lay.
Ramune: Bored. Bored. Bored Bored. Bored Bored Bored. BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED.
Chloe: Maybe you’ll be less bored IF YOU SHUT UP FOR ONCE!
Anne: Maybe she’s not shutting up because she’s bored.
Sonic: So we make her not bored and she shuts up!
Vector: How about we talk about how you all have no chances against me, Vector!
Chris: It’s like he forgot that I’m right here.
Sonic: I’ll just name the people with no chance at the prize and the biggest contenders for the disadvantage. (He races up to Vector, Chloe, Junko, Peacemaker, and a pile of ash.) You, you, you, you, and especially this one.
Vector: You’re a maniac for thinking that!
Undyne: Yeah, you are a maniac for thinking you have a chance.
Peacemaker: I am the one trying to restore peace! How do I have no chance?!
Captain America: Because your idea of peace is brutally murdering people.
The Cat In The Hat: Why must the pile of ash get no chance? He might do better than you’d think from a glance.
Luz: There’s a reason he’s a pile of ash.
Junko: (In cutesy mode) Oooohhh, is that despair I see in your eyes?
Lucy: It’s probably depression from an inferiority complex. Makes sense if she’s comparing herself to people such as me.
Junko: So she has despair! Yay!
Luz: I don’t have despair! I don’t have problems with causing Belos to come to power, and potentially endangering all the people I care about, and…
Goomba: Look, sometimes trauma gets the best of us, kid.
Morty: Aw geez, did I just run into an angst fest?
Morty gets elbowed by Anne.
Ramune: BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED I’M STILL BORED!!!
Wyldstyle: I’m in agreement with her. We haven’t been able to do anything for days!
Mr. Snake: If you’re so bored then shoot somebody!
Ramune: I WOULD IF I STILL HAD MY GUN!
Pacifica: Who stole her gun and caused this?!
Anne: I did.
We flashback to Anne taking Ramune’s gun.
Anne: I’m taking this until you behave.
Ramune: Hey! Who do you think you are?!
Anne: One of the only non weirdos here who can keep you in check.
Ramune: Well I can just take it from you again!
Anne: Not if I already had Sonic hide it.
Ramune realizes that Anne no longer has her gun. Sonic does a Smash taunt at her in the background.
Ramune: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Flash forward to the present:
Chloe: Give it back to her you dimwits!
Pacifica: Anne’s in the right Chloe. If we do then she’ll never learn her lesson!
Chloe: Of course you’re on her side! Is anyone on mine! (Points at Rowley) How about you, child?!
Rowley: Well, (gulps) it’s important to be punished when you do things that are wrong…
Chloe goes to slap Rowley, but Cap protects him.
Captain America: You shouldn’t do that to the poor kid when he’s doing the right thing!
Chloe: Doing the right thing?! He’s supporting someone that isn’t me! He is going to pay-
Snow White: Hello everyone, it seems like I have found Ramune’s plaything!
Everyone gasps.
Ramune: GIMME GIMME GIMME!
Snow White: You have to say please first!
Ramune: PLEASEEEEEE!!!!!
Snow White: Here you go! (She gives Ramune the gun.)
Berdly: You have doomed us all!
Snow White: I’m sure she’ll be fine.
Junko: This will be fun!
Ramune: Yes! I’m back! Now, who will be my first victim? Eeeny meeny miny… you! (she points to Perry)
Perry: (Chitters worryingly)
Ramune: Wait, not the platypus he’s based. How about… (She does 🫵 to Osma)
Mr. Snake: I still need to find out how you can do that!
Osma: Oh Fishy, we will soon meet again…
Berdly: Technically Maverick can revive us so you’ll probably won’t be able to see him.
Osma: Let me have this!
Maverick: You won’t have it, because I have arrived!
Junko: (Now in vulgar mode) Did you seriously have to arrive when things were starting to get fun?!
Ramune: You’re not taking this away from me! (She shoots Volo in the leg)
Volo: Ow! You imbecile!
Maverick: Volo! No! (He angrily glares at Ramune.) Ramune!
Ramune: Bring it on!
Maverick: Actually the audience probably liked that so I guess you can go off scot free.
Volo: Seriously?!
Pacifica: You must be bad at parenting.
Maverick: Well that’s why I never became a parent.
Morty: Good, I don’t recommend it.
Pacifica: Wait, how can you even recommend it?
Morty: Don’t ask, because I won’t bother to answer.
Rowley: Excuse me Mr. Maverick sir, but are you going to revive that Jacques guy?
Peacemaker: No! You’re going to mess with the peace! Fuck you kid!
Rowley: That’s not nice!
Peacemaker: Well so is bringing that scumbag back to life!
Maverick: Good thing I’m not nice then! Jacques Schnee, I hereby bring you back to life!
Maverick snaps his fingers and sure enough, the pile of ash is transformed into a hateable rich jerk.
Jacques: WHERE’S THE CHILD WHO KILLED ME?! SHE NEEDS TO PAY!
Chloe: She’s right here. (She points to Luz.)
Luz: What did I ever do to you?
Jacques: YOU MURDERED ME YOU PATHETIC CHILD!
Luz: Did you really think I was talking to you? Although you can use my words as a cool sarcastic quip if you want. I was actually talking to the person who RATTED ME OUT.
Chloe: Look, you just seem like you’re from the lower class so I would like to see you suffer.
Pacifica: Ugh, common rich superiority complex.
Jacques: THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH JACQUES SCHNEE!
Before Jacques rips Luz apart, he gets his body frozen by a Minion using a freeze ray.
Jacques: NO! GET ME OUT!
Luz: Ah, sweet karma.
Maverick: Sorry but we have to vote so no more distractions right now. Also our audience likes seeing you get karma. Anyway! Votes came in! Time to read them out! But first, a change in scenery!
Mr. Snake: Finally! I’m sick of staying in this dump!
Berdly: Agreed, it’s hard to cultivate my mind here.
Maverick: Then it is time for us to go! Well, after the intro is done of course.
Lucy: Since when did we have-
Now that the intro is done, Maverick snaps his fingers, and the void is transformed into a beach oasis, as the contestants are swept into beach chairs.
Chris: Are you telling me that we could have been in here this whole time?! And you keep us in a boring void?!
Maverick: Yes, now don’t complain, we have to get the votes read. Before we get to the votes however, there has been a feature to this show that I forgot to tell you guys about last episode! Behold, the confessional! Where you can talk to the audience about your innermost feelings!
Confessional:
Chris: Ah, the confessional. Classic. Surprised this isn’t a bathroom though. A normal room with a chair and camera just isn’t the same.
Confessional End
Confessional:
Rowley: Hi mom! Hi dad! Hi Greg! I’m on TV! I think. I don’t even know if you can see me… maybe you think I ran away. I promise you, I would never do that! Okay, I’ll admit, I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING AND I’M TERRIFIED!
Confessional End
Confessional:
Anne: I should probably be terrified too, but I literally died before, and met a god, and might actually be a clone, so this isn’t so bad in comparison.
Confessional:
Perry: (Chitters.)
Secret agent music plays, and Perry puts on a fedora. His watch glows, and Major Monogram appears in a hologram.
Major Monogram: Agent P! One of your owners, Ferb Fletcher, and your ex-nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, have mysteriously disappeared! Your job is to find out what happened to them and stop whoever caused their disappearance.
Perry: (Chitters.)
Major Monogram: Oh, is this a bad time? Where are you anyway? And why are you not in the lair?
Perry draws a picture of him being in a multiversal game show.
Major Monogram: Oh. That must have been why Ferb and Dr. D disappeared as well. Alright then, your mission is to go as far as you can in this show and get you, Ferb, and Doofenshmirtz home! And also find out what’s up with the ones who captured you. They rub me the wrong way.
Monogram closes the call as secret agent music plays, and Perry takes off his fedora and turns back into his normal platypus self.
Perry: (Chitters.)
Confessional End
Wyldstyle: Is it just me or was there secret agent music coming out of the confessional?
Lucy: It’s a simple case of going insane by meeting a bunch of wacky characters syndrome.
Wyldstyle: But I meet wacky characters all the time. Eh, whatever.
Maverick: Anyways, we got 15 votes! Way more than the CECU average! I knew that making this show part of the CECU’s plot was worth it!
Wyldstyle: How are we part of an overarching plot? It’s not like we’re you’re playthings.
Ramune: Hehe… they’re so clueless…
Mr. Snake: Tell us your secrets!
Ramune: No.
Maverick: Alright! Let’s start with the favorites! The characters that were voted for the advantage today are…
One of the Minions presses a button, and the names and pictures of Berdly, Chris, Goomba, Junko, Lucy, Luz, Mr. Snake, Perry, Ramune, Snow White, Sonic, and Vector.
Vector: I told you! I told you all! Vector always comes out on top!
Chris: You’re against me. I doubt it.
Confessional:
Morty: Watch the platypus win.
Confessional End
Maverick: Anyways, Perry the Platypus, you didn’t win.
Perry: (Chitters disappointingly.)
Confessional:
Morty: I call robbery.
Confessional End
Maverick: He has only one vote, and is the only voted character who doesn’t have any voting reasons. Alright! Now for the characters with actual voting reasons. Starting with… Berdly! Volo, read the vote.
Volo: Berdly’s vote says… “1. Deltarune
- Burghley
- Deltarune
- Gaming
- List Duplication Error
Also because he does my fucking head in /aff”
Berdly: I see that you respect my gaming skills! But alas, despite my strong brain, I have no idea what the rest of this means.
Volo: Chris, your vote says the following, “wow! amazing! incredible! phenomenal! amazing! wow! amazing! incredible! amazing! _ / ) .' / ---' (____ ((__) ._ ((___) -'((__) ---.___((_) VK”
Chris: All stuff I heard of before. But I like hearing it again!
Anne: You heard someone say a bunch of parentheses and underscores and VK before?
Chris: Yes, and I was honored because it meant that they were speechless in my presence.
Volo: Goomba, you were voted because “He’s a war veteran, of course his shit’s gonna be trustworthy.”
Captain America: This vote has my respect. It is good to honor the veterans who served our country.
Goomba: At least all that trauma I’ve gotten over the years amounted to having some respect.
Volo: Junko! You were voted because “Someone with the pure willpower to kill her sister OUT OF IMPULSE, deserves this vote.”
The entire cast gasps.
Volo: “Also, sorry Junko, but your team probably won't like to know that fact. Or maybe you'll like they don't trust you? Whatever- Frost”
Snow White: How can someone even be heartless enough to do that?!
Junko: (Now in royal mode) Oh, that! I don’t regret it, she was a peasant anyways and it gave me the sweet feeling of despair.
Confessional:
Chloe: With how much of a pain in the butt Zoe is, I would love to pull off what she was able to do.
Confessional End
Rowley: She shouldn’t be here! People who hurt their family like that should be punished!
Captain America: Do you even have any semblance of humanity?!
Jacques: And you all say I was the worst one here!
Sonic: Just because you’re not the worst doesn’t mean you’re not the most hateable.
Jacques: But I’m not the most hateable! Especially against her!
Perry shakes his head in response.
Jacques: Shut up platypus!
Volo: Moving on, we have Lucy. Her vote says “She's making bank and nothing is more important to her. Completely unfazed by the existence of creatures of all kind. Money is all that matters. Best contestant.”
Lucy: Of course! It is important to focus on money considering our increasingly capitalistic world after all. Even Christmas is being monetized nowadays!
Volo: Next up, we have Luz. Here’s what her vote has to say. “She is gay and cus she killed Ja- 🤮”
Luz: And you say that you’re not the most hateable. Also, someone who actually likes me because I’m bisexual instead of outcasting me and making fun of me for it. That’s rare.
Anne: Look, Luz, if you want to talk-
Luz: No, it’s fine.
Volo: Right after that, we have Mr. Snake, with a viewer saying that he's an “Emo depressed mink. He needs some love.(and therapy.)”
Luz: Come here! (She tightly hugs Mr. Snake.)
Mr. Snake: Hey! That voting reason is wrong! I don’t need this! Didn’t you just deny getting help from someone else?!
Luz: Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.
Anne: Group hug!
Mr. Snake: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Confessional:
Mr. Snake: I always hated hugs. Never got the appeal. They just make you look weak! Even though it was nice and made me feel all warm inside… NO! It was pathetic!
Confessional End
Anne, Berdly and Lucy join Luz in giving Mr. Snake a group hug.
Mr. Snake: This is kinda nice actually… nope! This is torture!
Volo: Next up, Ramune… I wonder, who’s crazy enough to vote for Ramune as their favorite?
Ramune: The real question should be who’s crazy enough to think that your opinion matters?!
Maverick: Actually, I’m crazy enough to trust Volo’s opinion. Also, if you’re wondering, BFDI Rocky is the crazy one, as this vote is from him.
Volo: Oh, how wondrous. The bell who ridiculed me for no reason. He is crazy enough to vote for Ramune. His vote says “how could i not vote for ramune? not only was she a contestant on my show, but she was really fucking based too” WELL I WAS ALSO YOUR CONTESTANT BUT THAT DIDN’T MATTER!
Ramune: Thing is though, I’m really fucking based. And you’re not. And Rocky? You’re really fucking based too!
Volo: After that we have Snow White, who was voted “because she’s wholesome and sweet 🥰”
Snow White: Thank you, kind soul!
Volo: Sonic, your voter said “He's Sonic the damn Hedgehog, what else is there to say about him? Out of like, four others in here (Anne, Luz Captain America and Perry) he's the most level headed with the most balances moral compas here, he's also got the speed, and probably has the most feats to his name (with Cap being his closet competition). If he plays his cards right, I'm sure he'll make it at least till top 3. I think the fastest thing alive has got this in the bag.”
Vector: How is he the one with the most feats?! I stole the Great Pyramids! I stole the moon before!
Sonic: I bet you didn’t kill multiple gods before.
Vector: I… also did stuff!
Sonic: Looks like the voter might be right. I got this in the bag.
Volo: Finally-
Vector: IT’S VECTOR’N TIME!
Volo: Yes, it is. Vector, your vote asks a question. “Hey Vector, are you ready to have some fun?”
Vector: YOU BET I AM!
Maverick: Well get ready to, as you, alongside Luz and Ramune, are the three characters to be able to get multiple votes!
Vector: OH YEAH! I told you so! You all doubted me but in the end I’m on top!
Ramune: I see, the viewers truly understand the depth of my ultimate basedness.
Cat In The Hat: Have you heard? Basedness is not a word.
Ramune: It is to me!
Chris: How?! How is that possible?! I call robbery!
Maverick: Says the guy who let Courtney’s objective robbery from Total Drama Island slide and caused her to go through a heartbreaking downfall into insanity.
Chris: My show doesn’t affect anyone’s mental sanity!
Maverick: As someone who arguably caused the heartbreaking downfall of Dipper Pines-
Pacifica: The WHAT?!
Maverick: Nothing. He’s doing just fine-
Pacifica: What did you do to him?!
Maverick: Restrain her Minions.
Pacifica: Hey! You’re not just going to keep these types of secrets from us! You won’t-
A Minion puts tape on her mouth and ties her hands together.
Maverick: That’s better.
Anne: Did you do anything to our loved ones as well?! Because I swear if you touch-
Maverick: Nope. Nope. It’s all fine. Luz, you’ve been on one of these before. Tell her.
Anne: You’ve been on one of these?!
Luz: I have. Thank goodness no one seemed too shaken up from it, although our loved ones were captured as bait and that girl Sasha went through quite the wringer…
Anne: Sasha?! What’s her last name?
Luz: I think her last name was Waybright?
Anne: Oh no… oh no… WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Maverick: I didn’t even do anything to her! Voting reasons weren’t even implemented yet as of the time that show came out!
Luz: If you’re anything like Host…
Maverick: Let’s just read the voting reasons already!
Volo: Ramune, your second vote just says “Ramene.”
Ramune: What do I have to do with Ramene?
Wyldstyle: Maybe it’s some type of secret code somehow…
Maverick: Nah, it’s not that kind of vote. The voter just said “Ramene” for the sake of it.
Volo: Vector, here is your second vote: “Phil: Yo, it's me. Phil Eggtree from hit CECU show TWSGS. ...And I guess CC, CCR, DICKS, VAGINA- Y'know what, I'm in a lot of them.”
Maverick: Hot fuzz it’s Phil Eggtree from hit CECU shows TWGS, CC, CCR, DICKS, VAGINA, and a bunch of other shows?
Morty: Ha, DICKS and VAGINA.
Goomba: Who gives their shows names such as DICKS and VAGINA?
Morty: People with weird sense of humor, like my grandpa…
Confessional:
Morty: And also me. I like that humor too.
Confessional End
Anne: Maybe this Phil guy knows what’s happening with our loved ones…
Maverick: He’s mostly in meme shows, so don’t bother.
Volo: “Tucker: I'm here, too. Blake would be here, if she wasn't reading a dictionary to find more swear words to scream at Jacques.
Blake: (in the background) Asshat... Used that one... Shitbag... Used that one... Oh! Haven't used Bitchdick yet.
Phil: Yes you have. Swear number 208.
Blake: (in the background) Damnit.
Tucker: She really hates Jacques.
Blake: (in the background) Yeah. Slavery is NOT OKAY. Especially since it's racist slavery. It's fucking horrible! My kind has been used by that assfuck! Just 'cuz the White Fang got a couple of dust shipments doesn't mean all faunus are evil!”
Lucy: Looks like we already have a guaranteed vote for least favorite.
Jacques: She’s overexaggerating. The things she’s mentioning aren’t that bad! The Faunus are evil!
Berdly: It’s like this imbecile is trying to be the first elimination.
Luz: I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the reason he was put on the show.
Volo: “Tucker: (quietly) We've decided not to tell her you're host, Maverick.”
Pacifica wriggles in anger at this.
Luz: What did you do to her for them to have to not tell her you’re host?!
Maverick: Nothing. I did literally nothing to her.
Volo: “Blake: (in the background) Wait, the host is who-
Phil: NOTHING! Yeah, we got a lot of options for who to vote for. Chris is good... Junko's also good...
Tucker: Chris VS Junko is a total Chris W, by the way-”
Chris: I’ll destroy that despair drugged girl with my showmanship alone.
Junko: (Now in vulgar mode) Nah! That fight will end in despair for you!
Confessional:
Captain America: Looks like we have fighting from within on that team. From my experience, that just leads to disaster.
Confessional End
Volo: “Phil: Goomba's pretty great, and it would help that Koopa's on TWSGS... But honestly, we gotta give it to Vector.”
Tucker: Kinda based, not gonna lie.
Vector: I am the most based that there ever was to be based!
Goomba: Wait, Koopa’s on that show? Good for her.
Volo: “Blake: (in the background) Oh, I found a new swear! Piss kisser!
Tucker: I'm gonna write that one down for later use.”
Jacques: It’s not even possible to kiss piss!
Peacemaker: It’s called an insult, piss kisser!
Volo: And Luz, your second vote… doesn’t have a reason.
Luz: So this means I don’t get the reward, right?
Maverick: No, actually! We instead end up in the same situation as what was supposed to be the final race of Lightning McQueen’s rookie season! A three way tie!
Ramune: Alrighty? How are we gonna break this? A fight to the death?
Vector: You bet I would win that!
Ramune: You’re saying that even though I survived the earlier battle and you didn’t.
Vector: If I didn’t die then why am I still here?!
Wyldstyle: Because of Maverick’s reviving powers you idiot!
Luz: You know, at this rate I wouldn’t be surprised if we have to do a battle to the death.
Maverick: Nah, I’m just gonna give you all a prize!
Luz: Oh, yay!
Ramune: Common Ramune W.
Vector: And I take the victory again! Unpredictable!
Sonic: You're actually right about that. No one in their right minds would predict you winning.
Maverick: Your prize is… free immunity from elimination to use whenever you would like!
Ramune: You hear that? I’m untouchable!
Luz: It’s weird how I always do good in these…
Vector: Hah! Like I’ll need that!
Maverick: Maybe you’ll rethink that after you see the votes for who’s the most unpopular out of the cast.
A Minion presses a button, and the names and pictures of Berdly, Chloe, Chris, Jacques, Junko, Lucy, Luz, Ramune, and Vector are shown.
Luz: Kinda expected that actually. I did cause the rise of Belos after all…
Chloe: Whoever voted for me is a low-life!
Ramune: Agreed! They’re double Ls! The ones who voted against me. The ones who voted for the other girl are fine.
Chris: I’m the most famous reality TV host on the planet! Who in the world would vote against me?!
Lucy: They’re probably just jealous of my beauty.
Berdly: That must explain it! They’re jealous of me!
Chris: Yeah, he’s right, no one would actually vote against me by disliking me.
Vector: Yep, the ones who voted me are just scared of me, I know it!
Jacques: Agreed, they’re all just terrified of my power!
Berdly: No, I’m pretty sure everyone actually hates you.
Junko: Ah, the sweet feeling of despair knowing that people hate you!
Luz: As someone who had that feeling for all my life, let me tell you, it’s not sweet.
Berdly: Watch my voter not have a reason to vote for me.
Maverick: Wow, are you a prophet? Since you have no reasons! You’re safe.
Berdly: Of course I predicted that. As you know, my brain has the highest IQ that any bird has ever had!
Undyne: How do you know that you’re using that IQ?
Berdly: Because I’m a brilliant genius, of course!
Volo: Chris, your vote says “I’m a long time TD fan and Chris does my head in and I mean this very very VERY affectionately.”
Chris: Knew it! They all just love me! I love praise so I love this vote!
Vector: Do mine next! I want to see them praise me too!
Maverick: But we’re doing these in alphabetical order so I can maintain a sense of structure.
Vector: I don’t care about structure! Just read it!
Volo: Vector’s voting reason says “Heres the truth, i dont have a least fav. So im just gonna choose orange man because idkwtftodo”
Maverick: Damn. Now I know how Her feels when I have grammar mistakes on my voting reasons.
Vector: I am more than just the orange man! You will respect me!
Volo: This next one… oh great, it’s from Rocky… “GO DIE IN A FUCKING DITCH YOU PIECE OF SHIT I HATE YOU!” Honestly, I’m surprised that it wasn't aimed at me.
Jacques: No, it was! He’s hating on you and picked me by accident!
Volo: Why did I choose to get stuck in this job with delusional idiots again?
Maverick: Because I kidnapped you since I wanted to see you be plot relevant to a CECU show again.
Volo: This is not how I want to be relevant! I don’t want to be like that pathetic Jason!
Maverick: (Gasp!) You did not just diss Jason!
Volo: I don’t see what’s wrong with that.
Maverick: What I do know is that all of Jason’s worshippers probably want you dead now.
A Minion wearing Jason merch overhears what Volo just said, and tackles him.
Junko: I love seeing the despair of this Minion’s love of this Jason fellow being invalidated. Minion! Jason is a peasant!
The Minion, furious, tries to beat up Junko, even going as far as to bite her breast.
Junko: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Minion: Maverick! Torture la nunu ta travesty pak lam hego pin!
Maverick: Fine, fine, maybe her reason will bring her the pain you so desire.
Junko: I am ecstatic to see the despair this brings!
Volo: The reason says… “one-note.”
Junko: That’s it?! I wanted it to go harsher on me! To make me feel the despair of being bashed relentlessly! Not just saying that I’m one-note! (Turns into cute mode) Because (Turns into royal mode) I’m (Turns into depressed mode) more than (Turns into statistical mode) one (Turns into vulgar mode) note!
Maverick: Happy with the angry despair it brung you?
Minion: Si!
Junko: (Turns into cute mode) Actually, I am happy with the despair I got!
Confessional:
Minion: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Confessional End
Volo: Next up, Lucy! Your vote says “IDK.”
Lucy: Does IDK stand for Incredible Darling Kqueen?
Cat In The Hat: I wonder if you are okay. Since queen doesn’t start with a K.
Lucy: Let me have this!
Anne: Actually, the voter said IDK probably means that they probably voted for you at random.
Lucy: I said let me have this! Although this probably means that no one actually hates me, so I’ll take that.
Volo: Luz. You… have no voting reason. Therefore you are safe from the punishment. This voter actually is the one who voted for you for the reward.
Berdly: Who knew that the viewers lacked so much logic?
Maverick: I know right?
Volo: Well this voter is logical. Logical enough to vote for Ramune. This vote says “Murder not funny.”
Ramune: Boooooo!!!!!! Murder is not not funny!
Jacques: We can both agree on that!
Ramune: Nevermind. The voter’s right. Murder not funny. Simply because Jacques thinks it’s funny.
Maverick: Anyways, the characters with more than one vote are Jacques, Junko, and Vector! Everyone else is safe!
Wyldstyle: Still think that you don’t need that immunity?
Vector: They probably just voted for me at random again!
Volo: Well Vector, you actually didn’t get another reason. Are you safe, or is this another tie? We’ll see…
Maverick: Actually if viewers are paying attention it kinda can’t be a tie with him anymore so… you’re safe Vector!
Vector: Booyah!
Volo: Jacques, here’s your second vote: “Blake: *aggresively slams the vote for Jacques button multiple times with her weapon*
Tucker: Should we... Stop her?
Phil: Nope. No stopping that whirlwind of fury. Plus, it's sorta deserved.
Red: Sorta? Dude fucking 100% deserved that.
Tucker: Hey, Red. Where were you when we were doing the save vote reason?
Red: I was getting a bag of chips.
Phil: Understandable, have a nice day.
Blake: FUCK! *slam* YOU! *slam* HORSE! *slam* SHIT! *slam*
Phil: Surprised Maverick's contestants said 'screw you', instead of the go-to 'fuck you'.”
Morty: Probably because all these characters except for me and Peacemaker are super PG coded.
Volo: “Red: They could've said both. I know I would've if somebody pissed me off.
Tucker: Same. I know a lot about screwing and fucking! Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
Phil: Tucker, you just singlehandedly raised the age rating of this show.
Tucker: Oh, uh, you can censor that if you want to.”
Maverick: No need to. Peacemaker and Morty said the F word a lot of times already. Also, Perry’s owners already put the phrase “Bow-chicka-bow-wow” in their hit song, “Gitchee-Gitcher-Goo.”
Perry: (Chitters to confirm this.)
Morty: Wow, he has songwriters as owners? How can he get even more impressive?
Maverick: You haven’t seen anything regarding his owners then, because they’re CRAZY.
Volo: “Blake: <img src=//i.imgflip.com/7nu0kq.jpg>
Red: ...Yeah, I don't think she's gonna stop any time soon-”
Jacques: I don’t even care! She’s a terrible insulter!
Sonic: Hey, at least she’s a better insulter than you.
Volo: Junko’s second vote is from a well known voter known as sus detector. “Hey, it's the sus detector here! Though today I'm too lazy to sus detect, so here's a normal vote reason for once.
See, I'm voting for Junko here cause the girl seriously sounds like she's mentally ill and willing to commit psychological torture here. She's probably a sadist, don't you see? And probably a masochist as well!
That girl's gonna need some absolute therapy here to knock the shit out of her. Actually, who needs therapy? It's expensive as fuck anyway. Traumatizing her would be a much better way to teach her some manners for once. She's a masochist, you ask? Well, that's easy, just traumatize her with 24 hours of Baby Shark. Even the worst masochist can't withstand that.
In fact, Maverick, you should do this right now! I'd gladly pay to see that bitch get absolutely wrecked. I mean that literally - I'll PayPal you, let's say, $10 000 if you just do that for me. Deal?
- VoidInstructions the sus detector”
Maverick: That’s an easy $10,000! Deal!
Junko: (Now in statistical mode) I am intrigued to see this “Baby Shark.” If it is as traumatizing as you imply it to be, experiencing it will be… glorious.
Anne: Baby Shark is not glorious. Trust me. You will regret all your actions from hearing it.
Rowley: I don’t think that song is all that bad.
Anne: DON’T YOU DARE PRAISE BABY SHARK!
Confessional:
Berdly: Woah. I think I like her.
Confessional End
Junko: I am now even more excited to see the travesty that is “Baby Shark.”
Volo: Jacques’ third vote simply says “No reason needed.”
Lucy: Simple and simply correct, just how I like it!
Volo: And Junko… has no third vote.
Maverick: Which means that Jacques gets the punishment! He will be getting an extra vote added onto him every time he goes up for elimination until he gets immunity or gets eliminated!
Sonic: Wow, what a surprise.
Luz: I know right?! I could have never expected that! Except I saw it coming from a mile away! Boom!
Jacques: I still don’t get why they all hate me.
Volo: Maybe this vote will explain why. “I know everyone in this cast and love most, but Jacques? No. Just no. -Frost”
Jacques: I still don’t get it.
Osma: Not even you being a slave owner?! Fishy would be disgusted at your evil.
Jacques: Your fish isn’t alive though.
Osma: That is the last straw! I will-
Maverick: Wait as we show off the final voting reason! Minions, strain her down for now.
The Minions strain Osma down and tape her mouth.
Volo: Finally. We’re at the last vote. “Hey, hey, hey! Guess who it is?! That's right, it's me! The one and only... JACKAL!”
Maverick: Oh yay. YOU.
Volo: “Or, if you're Ramune, you may also know me as Guy Blanko, one of the many co-hosts of DICKS. I'm sure you've heard of that, Cool Ranch. After all, it was me who tricked you into signing my contract, therefore allowing me to co-host!”
Mr. Snake: This animal knows too much!
Ramune: Oh yes I do. 🙃
Maverick: I never signed any contract, liar!
Volo: “But anyways, I better explain myself. After my embarrassing failure in the CDCAT world, I thought I might as well target a different show to torture the contestants and get a sick kick out of it. Oh, and what luck! It just so happens to be YOUR show I'm targeting this time! Wouldn't you believe it?! I've just become the new you! HAH!”
Pacifica: New you? Great, so are you gonna be the one torturing us?
Maverick: Hey! Who set her free?!
Snow White: I did. She seemed sad to be stuck like that.
Maverick: …Fine. Whatever. Go on Volo.
Volo: “Anyways, considering this is the first episode and the challenge hasn't started yet, I won't say anything of importance. But you better keep me entertained or I swear to god, I will make you wish you were never born! Ramune saw what I was nearly able to do to the CDCAT universe, and I doubt Mr. Razzle-Dazzle Dorito wants the same thing to happen to his world!”
Ramune: I didn’t see you do anything to CDCAT.
Maverick: He almost blew it up while he was gone.
Ramune: Yawn! I do that all the time.
Maverick: HE ALSO TEMPORARILY HAD BFDI ROCKY KILLED!
Volo: And it was glorious.
Ramune: Holy shit.
Peacemaker: Nice, a third cusser.
Morty: Welcome to the cussing club Ramune!
Ramune: Yay! Cussing buddies!
Captain America: I am deeply concerned that there is a club dedicated to saying bad words.
Volo: “Consider this your first and only warning! It's only gonna get worse from here on out, and by the time I'm through with you, Jackal will FINALLY be impressed enough with my efforts and allow me to join up with the big boys! That's all I have to say. Ta-ta!”
Maverick: You were literally able to kill an otherwise immortal host and you still weren’t let in by Jackal. You have no chance. Give it up. Guy’s a hack anyway.
Volo: Maverick… there’s an extra message at the bottom.
Maverick: Oooooh! I love it when voters do that! Mainly because it originated from me.
Volo: Well… “Oh, and one more thing, Maverick... When I died, I just so happened to come across this scary wolf guy. He asked me where you were, so I went ahead and told him in exchange for allowing me to continue living. So yeah! I'd be worried if I were you.”
Maverick: Wolf…?
Mr. Snake: What’s the problem with wolves? My best friend’s a wolf and I don’t see how a weird triangle like you who’s not scared of me would be scared of him.
Maverick gazes forward, and he and the audience sees a wolf with a creepy cloak and two deadly sickles WHISTLING a tune that is all so familiar and terrifying to the Maverick.
Maverick: LET’S GET TO THE CHALLENGE NOW! GO! GO! GO!
Maverick snaps his fingers and everyone is teleported into one of 4 fish tanks, each separated by teams. They also have masks that make them able to breathe and talk underwater.
Sonic: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (He jumps onto Undyne’s back.)
Undyne: Suck it up! It’s just water!
Sonic: Water that I can drown in!
Wyldstyle: You have a breathing mask on!
Undyne: And this is supposedly the contestant with the most feats to his name. I’m Captain Of The Royal Guard, and also am not a weakling who’s scared of water!
Wyldstyle: Look, he probably has some deep, dark backstory as to why he’s so scared of the water.
Goomba: Yeah, like how red hats with the letter M now make me feel fear.
Sonic: No backstory needed! Just it ruining my speed and making me more vulnerable is enough!
Cat In The Hat: You can breathe so you should be okay! Have fun and have a good day!
Sonic: I’ll have a good day once I get out of this!
Confessional:
Undyne: That voter must have lied by saying that he was the best of us!
Confessional End
Chloe: Maverick! Get us our swim clothes? Because I’m not ruining this outfit!
Maverick: Fine, fine.
He snaps and changes all the clothes of the humans, plus Berdly and Undyne, into swim clothes.
Maverick: So, for your first challenge, I decided to cash in $10,000!
Pacifica: You’re a god! You don’t even need money!
Maverick: But I want it.
Anne: Oh no… Don’t you dare…
Maverick: You see the cage in the middle of the tank? You need to get an entire family of sharks in that tank to win immunity! But there’s a catch. These sharks are the ones from Baby Shark! And they will sing an incredibly obnoxious and annoying song that will drain the life out of you while you get them in the cage!
Anne: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Junko: (Now in Cutesy mode) Yes! Yes! Yes! I will finally see how Baby Shark causes despair!
Rowley: Why are we worrying about the cute song instead of the terrifying sharks again?
Wyldstyle: Because apparently that song drains your life away with its obnoxiousness. Just like my boyfriend’s favorite song. It’s a surprise I’m still alive after hearing it so much.
The Jaws theme plays.
Rowley: No… that music usually means something scary is coming…
The sharks come in. They’re surprisingly cute and harmless.
Rowley: Awww!!! This isn’t so bad!
Osma: Seeing these sharks reminds me of what I have lost…
Snow White: Hello Sharks! How are you all?
Chris: Cliches say that they’ll bite you after you think they’re nice.
They don’t bite, instead… they sing THAT song. You know the one. And if you don’t, well thank goodness you’re leading a good life right now.
Anne: Close your ears!
Confessional:
Junko: (Now in depressed mode) That was the moment where I had seen the greatest travesty I have ever had the pleasure to see. And believe it or not… IT WAS THE MOST HATRED I HAVE EVER FELT TOWARDS ANYTHING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Confessional End
Maverick: And this is where we, and by we I mean me, Volo, and my Minions, put on our headphones and listen to the epic Spider-Verse soundtrack. Or like, Ed Sheeran music or something. Whatever you guys want. Wait a minute, where is Volo?
We cut back to Volo, who was not snapped inside and is still at the beach oasis with the Wolf.
Wolf: You’ll never escape me. I will always come in the end. And that is why I always hated the Watchers. Them and their ABSURD IMMORTALITY! It makes them cocky! But not for long…
Volo: Yeah, yeah, it’s not like I already know all this.
Cutting back to the contestants as they try to get their sharks in the cage.
Peacemaker: If you want peace from these dastardly sharks, you have to get it done yourself.
He shoots Grandpa Shark. It does literally nothing.
Maverick: Oh yeah, guns don’t work. Because it would make things too easy.
Ramune: Fuck you!
Morty: Hell yeah! Cussing buddies!
Confessional:
Captain America: Modern society confuses me.
Confessional End
Vector: This will be easy! I literally own a shark! And I will own this challenge!
He shoots Daddy Shark with the piranha gun. It gets the shark to chase Vector straight into the cage, all while still singing the dreaded song.
Vector: Oh yeah! Vector wins again!
Vector does a silly dance.
Chloe: Alright, just do that to the other sharks and we can get out of this dump.
Vector: With pleasure- OW!
Daddy Shark has bitten his hand, eating the piranha gun. He then goes back to singing the cursed song like nothing even matters.
Pacifica: This will take a while.
We move from Some Dumb Accidental Name to The Simpletons.
Anne: I am not listening to that song!
Luz: Anne, calm down. We can conquer these crazy singing sharks together!
Mr. Snake: You don’t need to. I have a shark on my heist team, I’ll handle this. Hello Mommy Shark. C’mon, you just have to GET IN THE CAGE!
He bites the shark, which gets the shark to… do nothing.
Mr. Snake: How come the orange man’s piranha bites hurt them but not mine?!
He bites her some more, but it does nothing.
Luz: You can say you’re… going soft.
Mr. Snake: No I’m not!
Berdly: I mean technically he’s super scaly.
Mr. Snake: See? He gets it!
Berdly: Just stating the facts, as always.
Cutting to A Bunch Of Losers With Nothing But Despair, they seem to be doing surprisingly well, with Snow White, Rowley, and Osma bonding with the sharks. Chris is trying to pull a Justin, Ramune is doing her own thing, and Junko is… well I’m worried about her.
Snow White: (Singing alongside the sharks. I am not posting the lyrics.)
Ramune: Chris, are you trying to rizz them?
Chris: I mean it worked for Justin. How does he do it?! I’m almost at the same level of hotness and they don’t seem to care!
Rowley: I don’t get why anyone was worried about these guys! They’re actually cute!
Osma: This reminds me of the time I took care of Fishy! (She blanks out.)
Ramune: This reminds me of when all the contestants in CDCAT blanked out by being reminded of something. (She blanks out.)
Snow White: Ramune? Osma? What happened?
Rowley: I don’t know. I don’t watch Family Guy since it’s too inappropriate.
Snow White: I don’t even know what a Family Guy is.
Chris: The first challenge of my show was about sharks. But it was about escaping dangerous sharks after jumping off a thousand foot cliff. This is about convincing a bunch of cute sharks to go in a cage. What a downgrade!
Rowley: I don’t know Mr. McLean sir, but having cute sharks instead of scary ones seems like an upgrade to me!
Junko: …
Chris: Uh… is she okay?
Junko: Haha… Ha… (Now in vulgar mode) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Chris: Nope, she’s just being typical Junko.
Junko: These sharks feel nothing! They’re always in their cutesy nature! They can’t even feel any despair at all! They’re just happy all the time! How is that possible?! How can you not even feel despair?!
Maverick: Are you happy with this sus detector? Because I know I am.
Junko: That wretched sus detector will pay for making me feel torture without feeling despair! I feel numb thanks to them! Numb! The worst feeling you could get! That sus detector will feel the most despair any person could ever have when I get ahold of him!
Snow White: Don’t mind her sharks, she’s just having a mad fit. Can you come with me, please?
The sharks follow Snow White into the cage.
Maverick: And A Bunch Of Losers With Nothing But Despair is the first team to complete the challenge!
Snow White: Thank you, dear sharks. You’re such an adorable family! Don’t ever let people such as Junko bring you down.
Junko: I DON’T CARE BECAUSE I’M OUT OF HERE! I’M FREE FROM THESE MIND NUMBING SHARKS!
Maverick teleports everyone out of the tank. Well, everyone except for Junko.
Junko: Hey! Get me out of here!
Maverick: The deal says that you have to experience this for 24 hours. Sorry.
Junko: I HOPE YOU GET TAKEN BY THAT WOLF! AND WHEN YOU DO I WILL LAUGH IN THE UTTER DESPAIR YOU FEEL WHEN YOU DO!
Maverick: You’re just making me more happy seeing you go through this pain.
Junko: IT’S IMPOSSIBLE FOR A LIVING BEING TO NOT FEEL DESPAIR! I WILL GIVE THEM DESPAIR AND NO ONE WILL STOP ME!!!
Confessional:
Snow White: Those sharks are strong. Junko will not be able to hurt them no matter how hard she tries.
Confessional End
Cut to Secret Agent Platypuses
Goomba: My comrades faced the plumber once before, these sharks shouldn’t be a problem in comparison.
Undyne: It should with this freaking hedgehog on my back!
Sonic: Look, it’s keeping me safe!
Undyne: I’ll just use my spear of justice to threaten them! Perry, hold the hedgehog! Perry? Hey, where’s Perry?
Perry, with epic secret agent music on his side, puts on his fedora and secretly digs a hole in the bottom of the sea floor. He calls Major Monogram. He instead gets an answer from Carl.
Carl: Oh! Agent P! Monogram is currently taking a shower. Do you want to see him?
Perry worriedly shakes his head, not wanting to see Monogram in the shower.
Carl: So, what do you need, Agent P?
Perry shows Carl the sharks, and points to the cage.
Carl: I got just the trick for that…
We go back to The Simpletons, where Jacques is frustratingly whipping the sharks, who are still happily singing their song. Where did he get the whip? Idk.
Jacques: I have been abusing you for who knows long now and you’re still like this! Fear and abuse usually works!
Berdly: These sharks don’t have any logic! Their minds are empty!
Jacques: Well neither do my slaves!
Confessional:
Lucy: I thought slave owning ended a century ago.
Confessional End
Lucy: Luz! Did you get Anne to do anything yet?
Luz: Maybe! And maybe I mean no.
Anne: LALALALALALALALA!!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU SHARKS!
Lucy: Just force her hands off her ears!
Luz: I can’t lose her trust already!
Lucy: Then you do it Berdly!
Berdly: Not to my queen!
Luz: Your what now?
Berdly: My queen. Because she’s a badass.
Lucy: …She’s a queen but not me?!
Lucy, out of sheer anger, pulls Anne’s hands off her ears.
Anne: NO! NOT THIS SONG AGAIN! I’VE HEARD THAT OVERPLAYED, MIND NUMBING GARBAGE TOO MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE! LUCY!
Berdly: Oh dear… you have awoken the beast.
We pan over to Some Dumb Accidental Name.
Peacemaker: If only we had Aquaman. That guy fucks fish, he would have already finished this.
Pacifica: This song makes me want to die…
Chloe: Then pay them off! You're rich!
Pacifica: First, that’s not going to work. Second, why can’t you do it? You’re also rich!
Morty: Because she’s an ignorant bitch, duh.
Chloe: Seriously Morty?! Fine! I’ll do it! Hey Mommy Shark! Here’s a penny. Now go in the cage!
The shark steals a $50 bill alongside the penny she offered, and goes into the cage.
Confessional:
Pacifica: It’s sad how well that strategy works. Every. Single. Time.
Confessional End
Vector: We are successful once more!
Chloe: BUT SHE TOOK MORE MONEY THAN I OFFERED! PACIFICA! I SACRIFICED TOO MUCH! NOW YOU DO THE OTHERS!
Pacifica: Alright, alright, here Grandpa Shark, you can have a dollar, as long as you go to the cage.
Grandpa Shark takes the dollar, and goes to the cage.
Chloe: How come you lost less?!
Pacifica: Maybe because I make better investments.
Captain America: Hey guys, I actually know a way to lure the shark in without wasting money.
Chloe: Without losing my precious money?! Deal!
Captain America: So here’s the plan, we corner Baby Shark in a circle, so that they only have to go where we want them to go.
Pacifica: They can still go over or under us to escape though.
Peacemaker: Why can’t we just tackle that motherfucker?
Captain America: First, watch your language.
Peacemaker: You won’t ever make me stop.
Captain America: Secondly, yeah, that works as well.
Vector: Are you guys coming up with plans? Because I have a plan way better than yours-
Morty: Shut up Vector!
Captain America: On the count of three. One, two-
Peacemaker: Three!
They tackle Baby Shark into the cage.
Maverick: And Some Dumb Accidental Name is also safe!
The team gets teleported to land.
Ramune: Yay! My fucking cussing buddy is here!
Morty: Yep, we’re back, you little piece of shit.
Captain America: Watch your language, you two.
Peacemaker: The whole point of the club is about shitheads who don’t watch their language.
Morty: What’s up with you guys eating popcorn?
Chris: Just enjoying the view of Junko’s sad life right now while listening to actual good music.
Junko: ALL THIS PHYSICAL ABUSE AND THREATENING YOUR LOVED ONES AND YOU’RE STILL SINGING THAT SAME, STUPID SONG?! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS LACK OF DESPAIR!
Snow White: I am so proud of them!
Chloe: Are you saying you’re proud of the sharks?
Snow White: Why, of course! Who else would you think I’m rooting for?
Chloe: I don’t know… how about the actual human being?!
Captain America: To be fair, that Junko girl deserves to be taught a lesson. Maybe she could watch those videos I did for high schools next.
Junko: I HEAR YOU! AND I’LL PUT YOU IN A HIGH SCHOOL! A HIGH SCHOOL WHERE YOU HAVE TO KILL PEOPLE TO ESCAPE! YOU HEAR THAT SHARKS?! MAYBE I’LL PUT YOU THERE! YOU’LL DEFINITELY FEEL DESPAIR DURING A KILLING GAME!
Chloe: Nevermind. She’s crazy. Root for the sharks all you want.
Vector spots Osma, who is still in her cutaway.
Vector: Why is the Fish Girl staring into space? She’s in front of the Great Vector yet she’s staring into space!
Chris: It’s part of a cutaway. Classic TV gag.
Ramune: Except she’s now part of a cutaway forever!
Vector: Oh boo hoo- I don’t care.
Pacifica: Ramune? I need to talk to you. You seem to have known Maverick before this show started.
Ramune: Oh yeah! That’s because he manipulated characters in CDCAT for entertainment!
Pacifica: Was one of those people, say, a weird dork named Dipper?
Ramune: There was! He got it the worst from Maverick! Well, other than the girlfriend of the cat girl with over 200 insults.
Pacifica: How exactly did he get it the worst?
Ramune: Not telling you so we can keep the suspense!
Pacifica: You know what? You’re the worst! And that’s a low bar considering that Chloe’s on the show!
Chloe: I’m right here.
Ramune: At least I’m better than the one who emotionally broke your boyfriend though, right?
Pacifica: (Blushes) He’s not my boyfriend! But yes you are better than Maverick.
Maverick: I’m right here. And also so is Jacques so don’t say that I’m the worst one here.
Ramune: And Volo! Don’t forget Volo!
Volo: I’m also right here.
Maverick: Volo! When did you come back?
Volo: After finishing a nice conversation with your greatest fear.
Maverick: Oh damn. Anyways, only two teams remain! The team that doesn’t get their sharks in the cage first goes up for elimination!
We see The Simpletons continue to fail getting the sharks, as Jacques tries to whip them in. Of course, they don’t care, and continue to sing.
Jacques: We should have been done already but you pathetic sharks can’t even bother to so much as respect me enough to go in that cage you brainless brats!
Luz: Maybe you’d gain respect if you weren’t such a big jerk all the time!
Berdly: Whipping them like Indiano Janes also probably doesn’t help.
Mr. Snake: Welp, we lost.
Luz: Don’t be so negative Snakey!
Mr. Snake: Did you just call me Snakey?
Confessional:
Luz: Look, it was a cute nickname!
Confessional End
Mr. Snake chases Luz around, just as Anne chases Lucy around.
Berdly: So my teammates are either chasing each other or are Jacques. I guess we did lose. But I won’t let a bunch of Simpletons bring me down! I will bring us to glorious victory-
Jacques whips him. He falls on the floor pathetically.
Anne: Okay now you’re just throwing.
Cut to Secret Agent Platypuses
Wyldstyle: The other team is being dumb, so we can win this! How are you doing?
Undyne: These sharks aren’t doing anything! How can they not fear the Spear Of Justice?!
Wyldstyle: Then use it on them!
Undyne: I can’t just take out my fellow sea creatures! Even if they are annoying.
Goomba: As someone who has seen the trauma of his species getting brutally murdered, I agree.
Wyldstyle: It’s either that or doing what the Cat and Sonic are doing, which is even worse.
We see The Cat In The Hat, with Sonic balanced on his head, playing with Baby Shark.
Cat In The Hat: Look at my head, it’s balancing a hedgehog. Add a ball on top of him, and my balance is still strong!
Baby Shark claps, although he’s not paying attention and is still singing his song.
Sonic: I hope your balance is still strong, because I am not gonna fall back into the water.
Cat In The Hat: But you’re in the water. And it’s not scary so why bother?
Sonic: Because I’m slow in it and I could drown! Man, not living up to the hero status, huh? I could use a hero like how I usually am right now…
As if it was timed to Sonic’s sentence, a hero does come! And that hero has an epic theme song playing in the background that I actually will type out because unlike Baby Shark, this song is epic!
Backing scat: (Dooby dooby doo-bah, 4x)
Female Singers: Perry!
Male Singer: He's a semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal of action!
Backing scat: (Dooby dooby doo-bah, 2x)
Male Singer: He's a furry little flatfoot, who'll never flinch from a fray-ee-ay-ee-ay!
He's got more than just mad skill
Female Singer: (Wah-ah-ah)
Male Singer: He's got a beaver tail and a bill
Female Singer: (ah-ah)
Male Singer: And the women swoon whenever they hear him sa-a-a-ay:
(pause; Perry chatters and women swoon)
Male Singer: He's Perry, Perry the Platypus! Perry!
All Singers: A-gent-P!
As his epic theme song plays, Perry uses a net to gather the sharks, and puts them to the cage with ease.
Maverick: The Secret Agent Platypuses are safe, with the help of an actual secret agent platypus! With that, the challenge is over, and The Simpletons are headed for elimination.
Berdly: I would have won it for you all if it weren’t for that idiot Jacques!
Lucy: Would you have though?
Jacques: Exactly, I’m the only competent one here!
Confessional:
Berdly: It was time to complete the Simpletons chase each other around trilogy.
Confessional End
Berdly chases Jacques around.
Cat In The Hat: Baby Shark, our playtime was fun. But now our playtime is done. It’s time to say goodbye. And I’m sorry that it’s not a lie.
Baby Shark doesn’t react, still singing the same song as always, as the Cat, alongside all of his teammates and The Simpletons, gets teleported out of the tank.
Sonic: Oh land, how I’ve missed you!
Morty: I told you that the platypus was epic!
Perry: 👍
Sonic: Perry, you have my full respect for what you did today. I hope to be just as good of a hero as you are during my run on this show.
Perry and Sonic shake hands.
Maverick: So, Simpletons, how are you guys feeling?
Mr. Snake: Eh, Jacques is getting out anyway.
Maverick: Wow. Are you that sure?
Anne: It’s so obvious it’s kind of embarrassing.
Luz: That jerk’s the new Caillou. He’s gone.
Jacques: I don’t know who Caillou is, but I don’t want to be compared to him!
Luz: You basically asked for it though.
Maverick: So I’m thinking that you’re not using your immunity, right Luz?
Luz: Nope. It’ll be pretty useless if I do.
Maverick: So, will Jacques end up eliminated as predicted? Or will he be spared in the shock of the millennium? Will Perry continue to be based? Will Osma get out of her cutaway gag? Will Junko get over the travesty that is Baby Shark? And will Pacifica get off my back on stuff that’s from another show?
Pacifica: I won’t.
Anne: And you forgot me. Since I won’t either.
Luz: Don’t forget about me! I still have my eye on you.
Maverick: Well, that question is answered. But more importantly, will Pacifica, Anne, and Luz actually find out anything or will they just be wasting their time? Vote for immunity and elimination down below, and find out next time on Maverick’s Awesome, Stupendous, Supremely Extraordinary Show!
VOTING IS CLOSED
We cut to hours later, as Junko is still miserable trying to get the sharks to feel despair.
Junko: (Now in statistical mode) YOU WILL EVENTUALLY DIE! YOU HEAR THAT SHARKS? THIS SONG AND DANCE WILL NOT LAST FOREVER. DEATH IS COMING. AND YOU WILL EVENTUALLY FEEL THE DESPAIR OF DEATH’S DOOR.
The sharks continue to sing and dance.
Junko: (Now in royal mode) JUST FEEL DESPAIR ALREADY YOU PEASANTS!
Maverick: Hey, at least you made me feel despair by reminding me of my mortality against the Wolf.
Junko: (Now in depressed mode) WELL I AM EXCITED WHEN THAT DAY COMES! BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I AM ECSTATIC, I AM SO JOYFULLY HAPPY TO SEE SUS DETECTOR FALL INTO THE HANDS OF THE WOLF, FOR THE MISERY HE HAS PUT UPON ME.
Maverick: Yay we’re all doomed. Still worth the $10,000.