Just The Beginning
Grief is a silly process. One second you're feeling 100% the next you smell something or do something that reminds you of the person you are grieving, and it's all the emotions you're trying to bottle up that begin to trample you. Some people can ignore the feeling of drowning after thinking of that person, but Wilbur Watson is not one of those lucky people. All they were doing, before the drowning feeling started, was walking down the street. How the hell does one get so triggered by that? Well, Wilbur walked past a bakery, and all they could smell was these delicious blueberry muffins. Usually, that wouldn’t be a problem. And it wouldn’t have been if…
If it wasn’t his favorite pastry.
The moment that thought crossed Wilbur's brain, he knew that his stroll in town was ruined. One second Wilbur was on the sidewalk enjoying the beautiful skies, the next, he was in an alleyway near the bakery struggling to breathe. Wilbur would be feeling extremely embarrassed if it wasn’t for the fact that his brain is spinning and his eyes are stinging with newly fresh tears. All of Wilbur’s “coherent” thoughts were being slashed through with a knife at this very moment. All he could think about was Tommy.
Tommy fuckin Watson. His little brother. His sweet sweet baby brother. Who died 5 years ago. He was only 16. And it was all his fault.
Before Wilbur could get any further with his self-degrading thoughts, his phone began to ring in his right back pocket. Wilbur being Wilbur was going to ignore it, but then he recognized the unique ringtone that is dedicated to one person and picked it up.
“Techno? Why are you calling me? Everything ok?” Wilbur asked, getting more worried with every question. He slowly got to a standing position but leaned heavily on the brick wall behind him. Still having problems with balance after such a punch of emotions he just felt before the call.
“Nothin's wrong, Will, dadza just wanted to know if you wanted to have dinner with us tonight,” Techno stated more like a demand than a question.
“Tech… I don’t think that's a goo-” “Think about it… please.” Techno said, which shocked Wilbur, out of Wilbur’s 25 years of life he’s never heard his twin say please with so much emotion.
o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶n̶i̶g̶ht Wilbur's mind reminded him.
Fuck. Wilbur can't say no now, curse Techno and his persuasion tactics. “Fine, whatever, but the moment he brings up Tommy I’-” “Yes, yes I know, you'll leave, again, but he won't, I promise. He misses when we would all eat together as a family.” Techno stated, once again interrupting Wilbur.
Wilbur hated these attempts at “family dinner” Philwould try because the family member that made it worth going, is gone. How was Wilbur supposed to go to the family dinner night when the whole family wasn’t there and when the chair in front of his was empty? When the light that used to be in the room was gone causing the once-bright room to be dull. How was he supposed to go without Tommy being there?
“Asshole” Whispered Wilbur.
“I heard that.” “You and your fuckin advanced hearing” “You're just jealous prick” “Nope, I have such amazing hearing that I don’t need to be jealous” “Yeah yeah whatever, I gotta go, see you at 6?” Techno asked with so many emotions that Wilbur almost forgot the bickering they were doing less than a second ago. “Yeah… I’ll see you then… I um love you?” “Love you too nerd, bye” Then that's when the call ended and Wilbur was pulled back to reality. He’s in an alleyway after freaking out over a blueberry. A fuckin blueberry muffin, of all things. So after Wilbur finally got his barring’s (it took him 30 minutes, but he got there eventually). He went back home to get ready for this already stressful dinner. His therapist is gonna fuckin love this.
*Somewhere in a different universe where things are so different from this one*
The rain hitting the roofs of buildings could be heard from everywhere in the city. All the people were moving slower than they would usually, to try to avoid the puddles that were slowly being formed. The neon lights were reflecting off the raindrops and the puddles, in all honesty, it all looked so beautiful. And Tommy would love just to sit down and watch the pretty lights and the calming sound of rain. But he can’t, he can’t do what he used to do before it happened.
Now all Tommy had time for is sleep, work, and being spider-boy. Now Tommy knew that wasn’t healthy, everyone told him that everywhere he turned, but he didn’t care. Not anymore, at least. All he cared about was getting revenge. Of course, he still saved people, but his main focus was finding the man who killed his big brother and getting even. But Tommy couldn’t do that if he was bleeding out in an alleyway so, although Tommy doesn’t want to, he thinks it’s a good idea to call his roommate to help him.
“Heyyy Ran, my man–” Tommy started before getting interrupted by the person themself. “I’m coming, where are you at?” Ranboo deadpanned, already knowing that the only reason Tom would call him at this time of night is that he was hurt. Being friends with a superhero can be frustrating at times, but Ranboo has been doing this for 4 years. “I’m not entirely sure, but I’m in an alleyway near that bakery I enjoy. I can’t remember what it’s called, but they have delicious blueberry muffins. Maybe I could take you one day as thanks for–”
Poof
Next thing Tommy knows, all he can see is ender particles all around him and that there are cold hands on his wound that are making it really fuckin sting. “OW, you bitch, who puts their bare hands on a fuckin stab wound?!” Tommy says after wincing and sucking in a well-needed breath of air. “Sorry! Sorry… I just have to inspect the wound before I try to teleport you out of here, Toms…” Ranboo said sadly. Ranboo hated seeing their friend like this. Beaten and bruised, stabbed without care in the world. Ranboo began tearing up. They understood Tommy, understood why he was a hero and even understood his need for revenge. But Ranboo didn’t understand Tom's reason for not caring. Not caring if he’s hurt or if he died because Ranboo cared. They love Tommy so much, they couldn't imagine a world without him in it anymore. Why couldn’t Tom's understand that?
“The dickhead came out of nowhere! One second I’m looking for a crime like the good superhero I am, the next BAM I’m being stabbed. But because of my awesome moves, the cops have him in custody. Honestly, it doesn’t even hurt that much, big man.” Tommy states excitedly, or as excited as he can get while in pain. Tommy goes to say something else but stops himself as he realizes that Ranboo hasn’t said anything since they got there, which worries Tommy. Usually, Ran is scolding him like a mom that just found out their son did drugs for the first time into they get home. He looks slightly up to look at Ranboo’s face, with Ran being 6’6 it was a neck-straining task and all. But when he did see Ran’s face he realized they were crying. Alarms started being set off in Tom's head, immediately. “Ranboo! Are you ok?! Are you hurt? You shouldn’t be, were you on a mission before teleporting here? Did you teleport too far? I know you get tired the more you teleport, I’m sorry!” Tommy exclaims, while interrogating Ran, Tommy attempts to sit up more to get a better look at Ranboo to make sure they weren’t injured. As he started this, he may or may not have hurt his own injury. Tommy did a sharp intake, but tried to keep it quiet to check on Ranboo first.
The moment Ranboo heard Tommy’s sharp intake, he snapped out of the weird trace he was in. “Tommy! Stop moving, I’m not hurt” he shouted, anyone walking around definitely heard them, all they can hope is that the people just ignore them. “Then… Why are you crying? You know it hurts you, the water allergy and shit.” Tommy said, not grasping that Ranboo is crying for him. All Ranboo could do after hearing Tom say that is wipe his tears and try to keep his emotions calm, at least into he can make sure Tommy won’t die on him. Tommy’s regeneration part of his powers was working pretty fast, but first aid always helps speed up the process of healing. So Ranboo grabbed onto Tommy more tightly, probably hurting Tommy a bit (they’ll have to apologize for that later), and barred themselves into teleporting back to their shared apartment. “Ran! Fuck be more gentle, bloody hell” Tommy said through gritted teeth. “Sorry! Sorry!” Ranboo said, rushing as he started his teleporting process.
Poof
Yet again, all Tommy could see were purple particles that looked more like tiny stars than anything else. But because of Ranboo’s powers, Tommy was highly dizzy, or more than he was before, but that was more of the blood loss than anything else. Ranboo sat Tommy on their couch gently, or as gently as a stab womb allows, after doing so Ranboo went to go get their first aid kit from their shared bathroom. Tommy laid his head on the back of the couch, trying to get comfortable because Tommy knows for a fact that Ranboo won’t let him get up anytime soon. The stabbed womb doesn’t even really hurt anymore, which could be a bad sign, but Tommy knows that it’s probably because the wound is either gone or almost gone. The beauty of his powers, Tommy would say.
As Tommy sat there on the couch, they had nothing to distract the thoughts that bloomed in his head whenever he was alone. He tried to push them away but Tommy knew that was a losing battle. Tommy is so, so tired. Not only physically but mentally. He hasn’t rested in 5 fuckin years, ever since he lost Wilbur. He unintentionally looked to his left, near his TV stand, there laid a photo of Wilbur and him.
The photo was taken when Wilbur and Tommy decided to go to the mall. Wilbur had said that they hadn’t been spending enough time together, which was true (this was about a couple of months into him being Spider-boy), so Wilbur thought it was an amazing idea to go to the mall. Tommy then didn’t want to go but felt guilty about not spending as much time with Wil as normal. Now Tommy is so grateful that he got to spend extra time with Wil and would do anything for 2 more minutes of just that. Wilbur took him to the mall because Wilbur wanted to get the new build-a-bear they were offering for Halloween. It was a dark oak-colored brown, surprisingly super soft, teddy bear with tiny bat wings on the back. Very Wilbur if you asked Tommy. Afterward, Wilbur bought Tommy some lunch in the food court they offer at the mall. Tommy got a pepperoni pizza with a chocolate milkshake. The pizza did not taste the greatest but hey at least the milkshake was a fuckin delight to his taste buds. So Tommy, being himself, just sipped on the milkshake while his pizza sat half-eaten on his plate. Wilbur didn’t mind though, he never did, Tommy realizes, Wilbur just sat there watching the people pass with a comforting arm around his little brother's shoulders.
“Wil?” Tommy whispered, in between sips of his milkshake. “Yes, Toms?” Wilbur replies, not really listening, he was basting in the warmth of his little brother, the one who he barely even saw anymore. “Sorry… for being a prick… I really enjoyed today…” Tommy said, embarrassed, digging his head into Wilbur's shoulder. That confused Wilbur, Tommy never apologized, and if he did, it was while Dad was standing behind him making sure he did. Wilbur began chuckling loudly and proudly. “HEY STOP LAUGHING ASSHOLE, I'M TRYING TO BE NICE” Tommy shouted even more embarrassed now, trying to get out of Wilbur's hold. “OH, MY PRECIOUS BABY BROTHER,” Wilbur said loudly on purpose to make Tommy even more embarrassed as they wrapped both his arms around Tommy tightly, swaying both of them around. Tommy didn’t know what was worse, the people staring or the fact that he genuinely couldn’t tell if he minded Wilbur acting like this toward him. So he just leaned into Wilbur’s touch, enjoying this moment.
The summer breeze, after a hard winter, is the equivalent of Wilbur at this moment. Nothing beats this feeling. Warm. Tommy felt warm like he is hugging someone he hasn’t seen in years for the first time. Maybe he is, maybe this is the award Tommy gets for saving people, for being spider-boy. Perhaps the universe favors him at this moment, allowing him to have just one thing before winter comes again. Without Tommy noticing at the moment, Wilbur took out his phone and took a photo of the two. Tommy was beat red hiding his face in Wilbur's shoulder with a huge smile on his lips while Wilbur looked actually ready for the photo. Tommy yelled at Wilbur for a straight hour after the photo was taken, he was so mad that Wilbur took a photo of his vulnerable state.
̶H̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶i̶z̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶w̶e̶e̶k̶s̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶W̶i̶l̶b̶u̶r̶s̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶p̶h̶o̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶t̶o̶g̶e̶t̶h̶e̶r̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶c̶r̶i̶e̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶l̶e̶ ̶h̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶W̶i̶l̶b̶u̶r̶s̶ ̶p̶h̶o̶n̶e̶.̶ ̶
Slam
Tommy flinched, coming back to reality, back to the truth. Tommy looked up at Ranboo, who put the photo face down on the TV stand.
“Sorry… I was calling you, but you weren’t responding, noticed you were staring at the photo” Ranboo says with a hint of guilt in his voice knowing that Wilbur, that photo, is a hard topic for Tommy. Ranboo put the frame back up (feeling bad he even touched it in the first place) but turned it away from Tommy’s viewing point, he’d have to fix it later.
“It’s… fine” stated Tommy, still a little spaced out, or maybe that is the blood loss. Tommy closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh as Ranboo came up to Tommy with his first aid kit and started working on Tommy's wounds. It was quiet for a while 'too quiet' Tommy thought as he opened his eyes again to distract himself from the eerie silence. As he let his eyes drift to anything that caught his eye. His eyes finally landed on his mask on his coffee table. The white of his red and white mask was stained horribly with his blood, not only that, but it had a rib that went from the neck to the eye of the mask. Tommy was lucky it was only a scratch on himself (that healed moments after the attack happened), if it was worse he wouldn't have been able to heal as fast as he did. But this meant he was going to have to stay up all night trying to remember how Techno taught him to sew, to fix it.
At Tommy's next thought, he looked at Ranboo who was furiously trying to clean his already healing stab wound. 'Ranboo usually helps with getting stains out. I don't want to bother them more than I already have though.' Tommy thought, beginning to feel bad. “Tommy, it's fine. Don't sweat it.” Ranboo said not even looking away from the wound. “How… How did you know what I was thinking?” Tommy said slightly embarrassed, he was big man Tommy he didn't need reinsurance from Ranboo even, if it did make him feel better. That doesn't matter! Tommy doesn't need anybody. “I can hear your thoughts, there so loud. Especially the ones about you being a big man, they're the loudest.” Ranboo said finally looking at Tommy, apparently already done with wrapping the wound. Tommy out of retaliation pushed Ranboos head away from him. “I'm hurt Ran, why are you being mean!” Tommy said putting his hand on his chest for dramatic effect. 'Something Wilbur always did' a voice screamed in his head. “Because you're an asshole who doesn't know when to stop. I was worried Tommy, you didn't come home, and then I got a random call from you, hurt. I… I just wish you cared about your well-being as much as I do…” Ranboo stated with a serious tone, all the joy from moments ago erased as Ranboo's tone made Tommy wince silently.
It was silent for a bit, Tommy not knowing what to say and Ranboo thinking he's said enough but unfortunately knowing Tommy and his stubbornness, they're going to have to break the silence.
“Tom.-” Ranboo started with a heavy sigh. “Your right… You're right, you're always right… I just…” Tommy paused trying to think of his next words, wanting Ranboo to truly know he truly was sorry for making him worry. “When I'm out there Ran… I get so angry, all… All I can see is my brother… and so you're right I get careless and that is not fair to you… I'm sorry..” Tommy said looking down at his lap as his hands balled into a fist, he's not angry at Ranboo he's more or less angry at himself. He keeps hurting the people that he loves. That be physically killing them, intentionally ignoring the thousands of missed texts and calls from his family, or making them worry. He doesn't mean to, he's just scared, scared of the Wilbur situation happening to one of them. He looks at Ranboo with tears in his eyes still clenching his fist in his lap. “I just want to protect you from him, so badly that I sometimes forget that I can't do that if… If I'm gone.” Tommy said with a bit of a lie. Tommy didn't care if he died or not if he's being honest, he just couldn't die before Dream. After Dream was gone he could die peacefully and join his brother wherever you go after death. He couldn't tell Ranboo that though Ranboo was already worried about his physical health he didn't want to give them another reason to be worried.
“I know Tommy... But let me help you, we could find him together faster… I just want you to be happy and if that means he needs to be in jail for that to happen, then it'd be faster with 2 people instead of 1.” Ranboo smiled a bit as he said that. He then lays his hand on Tommy's right shoulder rubbing it slightly with his thumb for comfort. Tommy leaned into Ranboos' touch, trying to memorize it to heart. He closed his eyes and leaned his head on Ranboos left shoulder and let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding in, into now. The position was awkward and uncomfortable but neither of them minded just bashing in each other's presence for a moment. It was peaceful and silent for a bit. It could have been seconds, minutes, or hours but neither cared. But like it always seemed he did, Tommy broke the silence and dampened the mood.
“Ran… I can't let you help… I know you're strong, but I can't let you near Dream… I won't let him kill someone I care about so deeply… not again” Tommy said as he lifted his arms to hold onto Ranboo's forearms, not wanting Ran to move or leave after his statement. “I know… I just wanted to remind you that I'm here… if you ever change your mind…” Ranboo laid his head on top of Tommy's golden curls.
The inevitable finally happened as Ranboo and Tommy stayed in that position for a bit, Tommy fell asleep after a while of soaking in Ranboos general facility. Ranboo noticed Tommy's breathing changed into one that was softer and more controlled realizing that Tommy had fallen asleep practically on him. Then decided to just let Tommy sleep on the couch so they laid Tommy down on the couch and grabbed a blanket laying it on top of him. Ranboo then grabbed Tommy's mask from the coffee table and his sewing kit from the drawer in the kitchen, and headed off to his room to start trying to fix Tommy’s mask. His last thought before he left Tommy alone in the kitchen were:
'I wish you saw yourself how Wilbur and I see you, perfect.'