Attachment
“How is your arm?”
The simple question did nothing to break the uncomfortable feeling in the air. Sure, Miguel hadn’t expected to open his door and see Miles but in all honesty he didn’t know whether to feel relieved or terrified that he hadn’t had more time to think about what to do next.
Currently he and Miles were standing in the entryway to Miguel's apartment. He had let the teenager inside and asked one of the many questions he had burning in his mind.
His previous wave of determination had dissipated and now Miguel could feel that lack of sleep creeping up on him.
But now was not the time to be thinking about that. Right now the universe or maybe the spider-verse, had presented Miguel with the perfect opportunity to fix things. Now he just had to figure out how.
“Oh yeah, I’m all good now” Miles smiled, patting where his forearm was injured before the teen rubbed his neck, a clear show of nervousness. “Are um—you okay?”
Miles nodded towards Miguel's hands, the teen had obvious worry painting his face which made both parts of his brain mad at himself for worrying the poor kid for so long,
Miguel only now realized that he was rubbing the injured pads of his fingers, the small jolts of pain kept him grounded in the moment. It probably wasn’t the best thing to be doing but he didn’t really care.
“I’m fine, Miles” Miguel responded a bit too quickly, to which Miles’ expression twisted.
It was getting increasingly harder to look the kid in the eyes when every time he tried Miguel had to look away before he broke. The poor teenager looked so concerned and it felt like Miguel was getting picked apart with every move he made.
Just like Peter, Miles was getting increasingly better at reading Miguel. Which was not good this time.
“I made a decision without thinking first,” Miguel said, trying his hardest to keep his voice level so as to not make Miles anymore worried. “But it's fine now, I’m fine now”
It wasn’t so much of a lie, more of a fib in his opinion. Something told Miguel that Miles had already pieced things together about what happened to his hands but he couldn’t bring himself to outright tell the kid.
Heck, his gaze was still wandering around his apartment as he spoke. Not even glancing at Miles.
That was until the silence between the two spider-people stretched out a bit too long for Miguel's comfort.
He looked back over to where the teenager was standing, expecting maybe for him to just be staring or maybe the kid's forehead would be creased like it does when he thought too hard about something.
Unfortunately for Miguel, as he looked over to Miles the teens face was pinched tight. His eyes screwed shut, fists clenched at his sides as tears flowed down his face.
The sight made Miguel feel like something was strangling his lungs. Shock, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He made Miles cry, the kid undoubtedly blaming himself for Miguel's actions.
Miguel took a few steps forward, shock he really wasn’t ready for this. There was only a few feet of space in between them before Miguel finally found it in him to talk.
“Miles? Hey it's alright” He whispered, trying his best to comfort the kid. Miguel's spider-like instincts were starting to scream in his head, protect him, fix this, is the child safe?
Miguel's bandaged hands were brought up subconsciously as a comforting gesture before he quickly put them back at his sides. It probably wouldn’t help to be waving his injured hands in front of Miles.
Miles’ shoulders were bouncing up and down as the young teenager tried to change his breath. It was so strange to see so much emotion being shown from Miles.
Miguel muttered a few curses in Spanish, this went downhill very quickly and he had absolutely zero idea how to comfort a traumatized teenager, not to mention the fact that a good chunk of the trauma Miles had was inflicted from his idiotic actions.
He heard a few hiccuped words come from Miles, the teenager now scrubbing at his eyes in an attempt to compose himself.
“D-damn–Dang it, I’m–I’m sorry” Miles stuttered through his words, stumbling through apologies and indecipherable mutters that left thoughts bouncing in Miguel's head.
What is he supposed to do in this sort of situation?
Miguel could feel his heart trying to break out of his chest with how fast it was beating. He wasn’t equipped to deal with this! Miguel had even assigned a Spider-Therapist just so nobody went to him in their time of need.
It was getting harder to look at the poor kid. Miguel's reddening eyes were darting around, almost as if he was searching for something to help.
Miles’ tear-filled eyes were looking at him now.
Dang it. Miguel should probably say something. Just staying quiet might make Miles’ think he was mad at him for being upset, which of course he wasn’t. Miguel was still mad at himself for putting the kids through all this crap.
He opened his mouth to say something, debating to start his apology or maybe to say something more comforting.
Instead Miles spoke first, the teen starting off with a broken laugh.
“I’m so so sorry Miguel,” Miles sputtered as he attempted to smile but it was quickly wiped away. “I-I didn’t mean to do that—a-at training. I just—I didn’t mean to do it and then you left. Peter said you were fine—That it wasn’t my fault but it was!”
Miles' eyes were darting across the apartment floor, occasionally looking up to Miguel up shooting back down again as the elder remained in silent shock.
This shocking kid…
He was way too good for this world. Blaming himself over something out of his control, something he had so idea about.
Miguel remembers when Peter would describe Miles to him, before he saw the kid as a person not just an anomaly. The talks in his office, Peter recalling how Miles acted and how clumsy but smart the kid was, were all things that Miguel appreciated about the kid.
Miles now had his arms wrapped around his torso as he fell deeper and deeper into the spiral of self-blame.
“And your hands! Your claws—I-if I hadn’t reacted like that during training maybe–maybe you wouldn’t be hurt now and everything would be fine. But I messed up and I’m sorry…”
Miles’ voice trailed off, the teenager had mostly composed himself breathing wise at least. His shoulders no longer jumped up and down with rapid breaths but instead were replaced with slow shaking inhales followed by careful exhales.
“Miles…” Miguel started, his voice quiet still with a tired rasp to it. He didn’t think before speaking, just going with a mix of thought and instinct.
“You did nothing wrong.” There that was good. Miles’ eyes shot up at his words, lips parting in preparation for what Miguel could assume was a retort. Miguel kept talking.
“During training that day, there were some… things going on. With nothing to do with you, so stop blaming yourself.” Miguel kept his voice stern but calm, the underlying anger that was there the first time he and Miles spoke was no existent.
“And about my talons…” Miguel took a moment to look down at his hands, the bandages were now off white, dirtied with a bit of blood starting to peek out from the tips of his fingers. “I made a choice while not in the right mental state.”
He took a quick glance at Miles’ face, the teenager's expression was a mixture of different emotions. Worry, relief, sadness. Miles’ eyes were scanning him, the teen obviously piecing things together. Why did the kid have to be so dang smart?
Still Miguel kept talking. He knew he needed to clear things up and he was done with trying to push it back.
“The way I obtained my powers wasn’t by a spider-bite,” Miguel revealed, his fingers twitching with underlying nerves. He could feel the spider-side of his brain encouraging him to keep going while a betraying voice still told him to stop.
“My DNA is mixed with that of spiders, and as a result my thoughts get a little…” He hesitated. What should he say? A little weird? No, that sounded wrong. “Jumbled. On training day I wasn’t thinking straight, it was my fault that you were injured and you had every reason to react the way you did.”
This was it. Miguel was going in the right direction to bring himself to the apology he owed Miles.
“Miles’ your a great kid, you’re the best of all of us and—”
Arms wrapped around Miguel as Miles rushed over to him in a hug before Miguel could blink. Miles had his arms wrapped around Miguel's torso in a secure embrace, while Miguel's arms were awkwards hovering not touching anything.
The now familiar warm feeling flooded Miguel's chest, the comforting inch that begged to be let out in a rumble of a purr.
Yet once again, Miguel swallowed it down. Clearing his throat to speak.
“Mil–” Miguel’s voice hitched, a lump in his throat. “Miles I’m sorry.”
He felt the teenager shift his hold on him, for a brief moment Miguel thought he’d let go and for some reason that made his heart clench.
“What I did when we first met, it wasn’t right. It wasn’t right for me to make you go through that.” Miguel wasn’t thinking about his words now, just letting the well deserved apology spill out after months of thinking about it.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” He muttered, looking at the floor. “I have hurt you so many times and I still don’t understand how you can stand being around me anymore”
Miles’ hold on him loosened and the teenager pulled back just a bit so the two spider-men could look each other in the eyes.
“Yeah you were pretty terrifying,” Miles’ admitted, sending a small jolt of shame straight through Miguel's chest. “But, I see where your logic was. You didn’t just chase me for no reason, you saw what messing up the multiverse could do and I can’t blame you for being a bit scared.”
“I was not scared” Miguel retorted, brows furrowing, earning a laugh in return from Miles.
“Don’t worry tío, I won’t tell.” Miles pulled back into the hug, Miguel's arms still hovered awkwarding around the teen.
The thought of his talons cutting through Miles’ jacket crossed his mind before it was quickly squashed.
Carefully Miguel wrapped Miles in a returning hug, cautiously waiting for the teen to pull back or flinch at his touch.
However, that didn’t happen. Instead Miles just pressed closer into the hug, Miguel could feel his lips curl upwards in a smile partially glad that Miles couldn’t see his face because he could feel a slight burning in his eyes.
If you asked Miguel how long they stay like that he couldn’t tell you but after a bit he decided to break the silence.
“You know, it's not very professional to call your boss ‘bro’” Miguel quipped his hold on Miles loosening so the teen could lean back and see his face,
“Oh right, you know how you taught me the differences between spanish slang and proper spanish” Miles said, putting air quotes around the word proper.
Miguel nodded something clicking in the back of his head but before he could fully register it Miles confirmed it for him.
“Yeah I’m not calling you bro, I’m calling you uncle”
“YOU WHAT!”
“Why would you do that!” Peni cried, scrambling over to examine Miguel's hands closely. “Can they get infected? Will they grow back? If they don’t don’t worry I can make you some replacements.”
Right now all the spider-kids plus Peter, Miguel and M.J were sitting around Peter's apartment, Miles was sitting next to Miguel on the couch with Peni and Peter on the other side of him. Hobie was sitting with his back against the side of the armrest, adding new stickers that Miles had drawn onto his guitar. Gwen sat on the floor leaning back on the bottom of the couch, she had scolded Miguel once she found out about his hands.
Pavitr was helping M.J make some tea for everyone, having a grand old time explaining the proper way it should be prepared.
Miguel had explained to everyone what he had done while he was in his self-isolation and also explained the way his powers worked in a bit more detail. Peni had a bunch of questions, so did Miles and Gwen.
What could have felt like an interrogation of Miguel felt more like a friendly catch up session with the occasional scolding about Miguel's power self-care.
“So how do instincts work? Is it like a spider-sense?” Gwen questioned turning her body around so she faced Miguel.
“No I don’t have a 6th sense, it's like…” He tapped his fingers on his knee while thinking. “It's hard to explain, maybe like another voice? Another internal monologue that runs on its own motivations.”
Gwen hummed in response giving Miguel a quick smile before turning around as M.J and Pavir returned from the kitchen with freshly brewed tea.
“I didn’t know how sweet everyone liked it so I left some sugar cubes in this little bowl” M.J explained as she set down her tray, on top of the tray there were several mugs ranging from Spider-man themed to motivation quotes with crappy clipart slapped on and a little sky blue bowl of sugar cubes.
Everyone grabbed their mug of tea, adding sugar to the taste and little conversations started as everybody was sipping on the hot liquid.
In Miguel's opinion the tea was quite good, not overly strong but just enough so it didn’t feel like just drinking water.
However, Hobie was quick to claim that the tea was just okay and that they should totally come to his universe to try real tea sometime. Pavitr and Peni were quick to defend M.J tea brewing skills while it was obvious Hobie was just enjoying egging them on Miguel could hear the british teen whisper a compliment to M.J about the tea under his breath.
The conversation eventually found its way back to Miguel and the questions reared up again.
“Is that growling thing you do part of the spider DNA?” Pavitr questioned from his place on the floor next to Hobie.
Miguel held back winces at the memories of him growling around the kids, sure it was something he did but it always felt so animalistic.
“Yes, it is” He responded, not wishing to dwell on the subject.
“Can spiders even growl?” Peter added in finishing off his mug of tea. “I’ve never heard of anything like that.”
That was a good point actually. Miguel had always chalked it up to being part of his mutated DNA but did spiders growl in real life?
“In my universe there are certain wolf spiders that can create a purring sound to ward off predators,” Peni explained, holding her fingers a length to show how small the spiders were.
“Does that mean you can purr Miguel?” Pavitr exclaimed, peering from the floor over the armrest with a grin on his face.
“I–” Miguel stumbled, shock this was embarrassing. Why was it embarrassing to admit that he had the ability to purr he couldn’t quite tell but it was. “I don’t quite know”
Pavitr and the others deflated a bit at the unsatisfying answer until Hobie just had to butt in.
“The old-bloke can purr,” Hobie stated as a matter of factly waving his hand in the air as he explained. “He did it at the smoothie shop in Gwendy’s universe, tried to hide it with a very fake ‘ahem’ noise”
Miguel straightened up in posture at the blatant exposing the british teenager just did.
“Wait, you did?!” Miles asked the teens head snapping over in his direction with a smile on his face. “How did I not notice?”
“I guess—”
“So Miggy was trying to keep up his intimidating boss image” Peter teased with his smirk plastered on the man's face. “Lying is a bad habit you know” He waved his finger towards Miguel in a teasing manner.
“If I could speak without being interrupted” Miguel drawled with exaggerated irritation lacing his tone, he heard a couple snickers from the kids. “It's not something that can just be done on cue, there is no switch to flip on and off. It just happens I guess.”
Miguel leaned back into the couch, the comfy cushions shaping to his back.
“Sooooo, does that make you more of a tiger than a vampire then?” Noir questioned jokingly, earning a string of laughter from the others.
“No no, Miguels not a vampire or a tiger more like a grumpy housecat.” Gwen smirked and Miguel lightly kicked her for her comment. “Ha! See! That only proves my point!”
Miguel hummed at the accusation not noticing his lips curving into a soft smile with the friendly teasing that floated around the room.
Peter slung an arm around Miguel and Miles scooched in closer, Pavitr and Gwen joined in and sure enough eventually all the spider-kids and Peter surrounded Miguel on the couch.
Miles and Peter were closest with Pavitr, Noir, and Gwen closing in on second. Hobie hung out on top of the armrest and Peni had climbed up on Miguel's lap to get in on the hug.
Miguel had assumed they had all formulated some plan to trap him in this sort of hug pile but in all honesty he didn’t care one bit.
The closeness and warmth were a stark difference from the cold and alone feeling that he remembered in his office. Sure Peter's living room lights were a bit bright for his eyes but Miguel didn’t feel like he needed to be alert right now.
The people he cared about were close by, and nobody was injured.
Miguel let his eyes slip shut and the quiet sounds of the apartment filled his ears. He could hear M.J. cleaning up dishes in the kitchen before her footsteps retreated, he heard the soft snoring of Peni and the slightly more loud snoring of Peter in his ear.
Sleep crept up on Miguel as the warm feeling consumed his chest without any resistance on his part. A soft rumbling mixed in with the sounds of sleeping spiders.
Right before he fell asleep, Miguel heard Hobie shift on his position on the armrest then the quick click of a camera.