Back From The Dead
05
"Look over your shoulder, I'm back from the dead."
Akutagawa’s alarm goes off an hour earlier than it was set to —a devastating turn of events given that, last night, he had been thrilled about sleeping in after a notice came through, announcing that filming would be postponed for two days due to a drawback regarding the role of Akiyama Keita. No surprise, really, they'd been too adamant on having Dazai play the part for too long.
“Good Morning, Akutagawa!”
“Wake up, Ryu! Rise and shine, Kyusaku is here!”
The alarm that startles him awake is not so much a loud ringing emitted from a clock or phone, as it is a loud ringing emitted from a tall, brunette narcissist and his smaller, starry eyed companion.
“Happy Birthday to…!”
“Dazai!”
See? Ring ring ring.
“Ah. That's today…” He mumbles to himself, checking the date on his phone.
Dazai marches around the apartment, Kyusaku perched on his shoulders, as they repeat the cheer boisterously while waiting for Akutagawa to fully wake up from his sleepy haze and, in all likelihood, lock them outside until he's ready to join them.
He groggily drags himself out of his room, through the living room —paying no mind to the duo still laughing and dancing in his kitchen, so he doesn't notice that it's not just them occupying his space— and enters the bathroom.
As he raises the toothbrush to his mouth, Akutagawa glances at his reflection in the mirror, coming face-to-face with the aftermath of his actions from the night before. With no work for two days, he'd stupidly agreed to allow Tanizaki to practise the new makeup design he learnt in class, on him, because neither of his friends would.
The design is a little unorthodox for Akutagawa, as he's never actually worn a full face of glittery makeup like he is now. While layering the necessary foundations and setters on Akutagawa’s face, Tanizaki had rambled on and on about how he “artistically” meshed two hues of pink eyeshadow that he simply needed to test out with a look.
The result was a subtle gradient of the two pinks, submerged with a transparent silvery glitter around his eyelids, paired with a soft blush and the usual mascara Akutagawa was accustomed to for filming. He even doodled little stars and swirls across the outer ends of Akutagawa’s eyes and on his cheeks.
Stupid artists with their “creative freedom” nonsense.
Again, the look was not one Akutagawa would or should be seen wearing. Even Gin had a good laugh after seeing him. She took pictures for everyone else to see, and they laughed in the comfort of their own homes, too, knowing Akutagawa couldn't reach them.
Too tired to care, Akutagawa hadn't bothered with removing the makeup last night. If he were to ever find out, Oda would surely wring his neck for doing that.
He inspects his reflection a bit more. Though it's a bit messy from having slept with it on, the initial design is still there. The thought crossed his mind last night upon seeing it, but looking again…
“This would suit Atsushi a lot better.” Is what he mutters the first time and once more now.
“...”
If he wasn't fully awake before, he sure as hell is now. Hanging around Atsushi so much has really taken its toll on Akutagawa’s sanity.
With that in mind, Akutagawa takes out the makeup remover and cotton pads, and begins the task of cleaning up the mess his pillow had created.
Still, not even the scalding hot shower that he takes is enough to keep his mind from wandering. He thinks back to the day before when the crew —himself included— was monitoring Atsushi’s first solo shoot.
Atsushi’s performance enticed them all as it always has, the words he uttered and the emotions he expressed held an unshakable grip on each person cramped by that tiny screen. They needed to see it all —every blink, every twitch, every breath.
On the other hand, there was Akutagawa. Akutagawa who now isn't really sure why, but knows that by the end of it he’d been left with an unsettling feeling in his gut about the way Atsushi had portrayed certain actions. While watching the other act in almost the exact same way he'd done in the past, the familiar inferiority that Akutagawa expected to feel wasn't there at all, and so he concluded that something was not right.
He wants to push it aside with the excuse of merely overthinking things, yet is aware that doing so would be impossible when he harboured such an odd agitation at the time.
Akutagawa groans. “Just forget it, Ryunosuke.” He scolds himself. “You're deluding yourself again.”
By the time he finishes cleaning up, collecting his clothes, and leaving the steamed-filled bathroom, the sounds of Dazai and Kyusaku cheering have already died down. He supposes Kunikida —who's apparently been there the whole time— is to thank for that. In the first place, it's a miracle he even let them go on for as long as they did.
“Akutagawa!” Dazai shouts the second he sees the younger one passing by, but just as he's about to continue, Kyusaku interrupts him.
“Ryu, Dazai said that- mhmph mhmh!” He doesn't get to finish his words either, Dazai places his hand on the boy’s mouth to shut him up.
“I told you not to say anything, Yumeno-san~"
Akutagawa squints at him accusingly. “What did he say?”
“Don't you worry your silly little haircut about it.” Dazai quips, inciting Akutagawa to frown and brush back his wet hair. He’s beginning to seriously consider Naomi's advice to get a haircut.
There's no chance for him to refute Dazai's comment, as Kunikida firmly orders Akutagawa to stop standing around in only a towel near Kyusaku. Something about preventing him from seeing bad things —like his frail body or the tattoo that Junichiro had given him on his eighteenth birthday.
Second note to self: stop letting Junichiro use you like a canvas.
Well, in his defence, Dazai had mixed his own alcoholic concoction with the minors’ oolong tea and neither realised until Akutagawa and the others were almost trashed. At least they came to learn what a lightweight he is with alcohol, now he rarely drinks even after becoming legal.
Kyusaku has already seen his tattoo, by the way, not that Akutagawa would ever tell that to Kunikida. He’d been under enough pressure when trying to explain what the aberrant image is supposed to be.
On the window of his room, Akutagawa notices little droplets softly falling along the glass one by one. It's drizzling. He wonders if they'll be able to get through their plans for the day, Dazai had promised them all a trip to Disneyland after all.
•••
“It's really pouring out there, huh?”
Yes. A downpour, and a very heavy one at that. They'd barely made it outside of Akutagawa’s apartment building when that light drizzle had turned into a full blown shower, and with that, their plans for the day have all been tossed into the dump until further notice.
Kyusaku groans. “Now what?”
“Now, we sit in this shabby café until, hopefully, the rain stops.”
“I’d appreciate it if you didn't call your only source of shelter at this moment, ‘shabby’, Osamu-kun.”
“Did I say that?” Dazai chuckles awkwardly. “I meant lovely, warm and comfortable, Teach!”
Director Fukuzawa sets down their drinks and casts Dazai an ominous smile. One of these days, Dazai truly will find himself locked out in the streets.
Akutagawa snorts, he can almost hear Naomi’s voice in his head, snickering while saying “Surely Fyodor will scoop him up and take him back to Russia if that ever happens.” She’s rather adamantly convinced that their relationship isn't what Dazai says it is, yet Akutagawa thinks otherwise. There's something about Nakahara Chuuya and his association with Dazai that he can't help but be curious about.
“Nakahara was here not too long ago.” Kunikida scowls as Fukuzawa says this. “He asked if you still do small shows at the café. I didn't say.” He isn't looking at anyone in particular, but the question is obviously directed at Dazai.
However, it's Kunikida who replies. “Tch, and what would he have done if you said yes? Try attending a show to get in touch with Dazai? He should just stay where he is, it's thanks to ruining Dazai’s career that he got there in the first place. What more does he want now?”
Seeing Kunikida this angry is an occurrence Akutagawa has never expected to happen, though it seems that whenever the idol’s name is spoken, Kunikida blows up into a fit of rage.
“Relax, Kunikida.” Dazai murmurs. “Teach said that he didn't answer, surely that sent a clear enough message.”
“I-”
“Kyusaku still visits him occasionally. I understand your feelings but I’d rather you didn't paint an ugly picture for him. He adores Chuuya.” What a blessing it is that the kid had gone to the restroom at the time.
“Congratulations on your new role, Ryunosuke, it's been a while since you've played such a big one.” His teacher praises him, instantly changing the topic. “I know it's quite late, but with the café renovations and hiring new staff there hasn't been much time to catch up on anything.”
“It's alright.” Akutagawa replies. “Have you seen Ranpo lately?”
The mention of his second most troublesome student elicits an exhausted sigh from Fukuzawa —a common occurrence when Ranpo is brought up. Unlike his peers, Edogawa Ranpo was a free spirit, he had no clue about who Fukuzawa Yukichi even was and joined their theatre on a whim when he'd passed it by after getting lost on his way to the train station. He didn't stay for very long either. Five months into the life of an acting student, Ranpo had grown bored of it and ultimately decided to quit. He then disappeared for almost three years, surprising them all when he returned with a degree, a job as a film critic and an American boyfriend.
That day, Ranpo had simultaneously revealed his status as a genius and indirectly came out to the entire troupe.
“Don't even talk about that unfilial kid.” Fukuzawa mutters bitterly. “He hid out at Poe’s hotel for a week without saying a word to escape helping me with renovations. As soon as we reopened he was back, comfortably seated in the kitchen and waiting for me to serve him breakfast. Can you believe it?”
It is Ranpo they're talking about…
“Y’know, Teach.” Dazai speaks with a mouthful of pancake. “You always seem to forget that Ranpo isn't actually your son.”
“...I’m aware of that, Osamu-kun.” Their teacher accentuates every syllable of Dazai’s name, clearly expressing his annoyance. “You're really making me regret giving you a complimentary dish for your birthday.”
Dazai leans over his pancake stack protectively. He grins. “I love you?”
“I’ll bring the bill.”
The cat lying across Akutagawa’s lap notices the owner leaving their table and hops off to follow behind him. Seeing her do so, another two, which Dazai had been playing with, copied her actions.
“They're so attached to him.” Kunikida laughs.
Kyusaku finally returns, hurriedly rushing over to them. “The rain stopped!”
“Shall we leave, then?”
Weather reports suspect an upcoming typhoon in the next coming week, consequently, Director Fitzgerald insists they film as many scenes as possible until any further updates or signs become known. Moreover, his insistence creates chaos among the cast and crew as they've been forced to do overtime work, prepare props and cameras within minutes, and deal with the abnormal changes in weather every few hours each day.
The production prioritises individual or joint shoots involving supporting roles, which are carried out first. Akutagawa's involvement is limited to a few miscellaneous scenes alongside Lucy. Afterward, he wraps up his work for the day and finds solace on an empty patio within the unused section of the estate. Remaining within the premises is essential, as he cannot risk leaving in case Fitzgerald, the director, decides to modify the schedule unexpectedly.
From his vantage point, he can only catch a hazy glimpse of the ongoing filming. Nevertheless, he manages to identify Kyusaku and the young actress, Izumi Kyouka, positioned on the bridge, engrossed in enacting a scene together. It just so happens that this is one of Akutagawa's favourite moments.
Akito crouches down on the bridge that overlooks the serene koi pond, consumed by ceaseless tears as he desperately calls out his elder brother's name. The agonising ordeal has stretched on for days ever since this family forcibly took him away, holding him captive as a means to intimidate Kaito.
Over his broken sobs, the sounds of cicadas buzzing resonate louder, it's a form of white noise that he welcomes to help soothe himself; he'll only end up passing out from a fever again if he continues like this after all, and having someone from that family nurse him like before isn't something he wants. So he peeks out at the pond, watching the koi swim by in circles, and when they disappear under the bridge he reaches his hand inside the water to create small ripples by swishing it lightly.
“You'll get sick again if you stay out this long.”
Ito Sakura, a child adopted into the Mikage family from a distant relative, stands with her back against the bridge's railing, looking down at the meek child beside her. She feels sympathy for him, understands how terrified he must be over such an ordeal, the Mikages had done the exact same thing to her after all. Mikage Hyoma is a man who uses any means to secure whatever it is he desires, even if it means leaving a child bereaved from his own family. Sakura prays Akito never has to witness his brother's death or discover it at a later stage.
“That's what I’m aiming for.” Akito humphs. “Maybe if I’m sick they'll see me as a useless, weak hostage.”
“They won't let you go until Hayashi agrees to marry Miss Charlotte.”
“It's been nearly seven days.” He's almost on the verge of tears again. “Clearly Kaito doesn't care about my absence. He must be rejoicing in the fact that he no longer needs to care for a nuisance like me.”
What he says is a belief he'd harboured for years after his parents passing. Kaito, who was merely fifteen years old back then, was forced to take over as head of their family and look after his four year old brother at the same time. As Akito grew, he could feel the faint sense of resentment coming from his brother anytime he tried approaching the elder. Kaito hates him, his youth was stolen and with no one to turn the blame on he focused his grudge on the pesky little boy who followed him around from day to day, oblivious to the massive change their lives had taken.
Nevertheless, he’d rather live in that cold, broken home with a sibling who loathes him than in the Mikage household. At least he's familiar with the loneliness in that place.
As anticipated, the children deliver outstanding performances, brilliantly embodying their respective roles.
While the spotlight is intended to be on Kyusaku's portrayal of the internal conflict and fear experienced by "Akito," Kyouka's brief flashback scene will leave the audience pondering Sakura's enigmatic past before her adoption. From the moment Akutagawa first read the script, he knew that this particular scene, above all others in the entire production, would leave a profound impact. It poignantly highlights the plight of children raised within criminal organisations, exposing how they become victims of inter-gang strife and are ultimately abandoned by their own kin to prevent any perceived vulnerabilities. Both Sakura and Akito singularly represent the backgrounds of nearly every character within this story.
Higuchi never fails to impress.
"Kyusaku has shown remarkable growth since his previous project," Ango comments. At a certain juncture during the filming, Atsushi's manager had settled down next to Akutagawa and remained by his side until the shoot concluded. Akutagawa wonders if the manager has something to discuss with him, otherwise there's no explanation for Ango choosing to sit with someone he hardly knows.
"He receives lessons from Dazai," Akutagawa explains succinctly.
"As one would expect, Osamu and Chuuya practically raised that kid, after all." Ango grins affectionately, understanding the peculiar bond between Kyusaku and the two men. "Right, there's something I wanted to ask you, if you're willing to hear me out."
Akutagawa nods. “Go on.”
Seemingly on the verge of bursting with embarrassment, nervously fidgeting with his fingers, Ango stutters out. "Um... Could you... well..." He pauses, then after a brief moment of hesitation, Ango straightens his posture, clears his throat, and directs his gaze at Akutagawa with unwavering resolve. "Could you say hi to Doppo for me?"
Doppo. That would be…
“Kunikida?”
“Yes.”
Akutagawa raises an eyebrow, taken aback by the revelation of yet another connection between his friends and Atsushi’s. It appears that Ango not only knows Oda, Dazai, and Kyusaku but also has a familiarity with Kunikida. The nature of their relationship is unclear, but it seems to be significant enough for Ango to feel embarrassed about conveying his greetings.
Curiosity piqued, Akutagawa inquires further, "I wouldn't mind but, why not do it yourself? He visits sometimes.”
Ango chuckles awkwardly, his laughter tinged with a hint of discomfort. "Oh, you know Kunikida... He has a way of getting mad about the smallest things, and this kind of greeting might just set him off even more."
Interesting.
Akutagawa hums in agreement, he puts on his best 'fan service’ smile and replies. “Alright, I’ll be sure to do that.”
Satisfied with Akutagawa's understanding, Ango bids Akutagawa goodbye and departs, mumbling about seeking out Oda to ease his anxiety with “that ugly mug”.
As Akutagawa attempts to collect his thoughts, a familiar voice begins gradually growing louder with each step in his direction. It belongs to Kyusaku, accompanied by someone whom Akutagawa has been curious about for quite some time. They are not necessarily approaching him specifically, but Akutagawa turns his attention toward where Kyusaku and the individual accompanying him pass by.
Despite his reservations, Akutagawa decides to eavesdrop, keeping his senses keen to catch snippets of the conversation between them. He allows his curiosity to outweigh those reservations, too interested in knowing what the other is like.
“We didn't get to do much, though.” Akutagawa's ears pick up Kyusaku's words, capturing the hint of disappointment in his tone. He observes Kyusaku tightly gripping Chuuya's arm as they walk, a gesture reminiscent of the way he often clings to Dazai. “It rained for so long, and by the time the rain stopped we could only go to an arcade for a few hours before Kunikida had to leave.”
“Kunikida was with you?” Chuuya asks, incredulous as if he can hardly believe that Kunikida would possibly voluntarily spend Dazai's birthday with them.
Now Akutagawa is intrigued. The idea of Kunikida willingly spending time with them on Dazai's birthday seems improbable to Chuuya. It echoes Akutagawa's own curiosity regarding Kunikida's apparent aversion to Dazai's birthday. The fact that Chuuya is aware of this sentiment raises further questions about the dynamics and shared knowledge within their group.
Given the way Kunikida has expressed such a deep resentment for Chuuya could likely mean that,
“Nakahara knows why…?” Akutagawa mutters under his breath.
As Kyusaku and Chuuya move farther away, their voices become increasingly faint, making it difficult for Akutagawa to catch their conversation. However, amidst the fading sounds, Akutagawa manages to pick up on Chuuya's request for Kyusaku to convey his belated congratulations to Dazai. The tinge of sadness in Chuuya's voice doesn't go unnoticed by Akutagawa.
“Why not say it to me yourself instead?”
Startled by the sudden emergence of a new voice from his left, Akutagawa swiftly turns his head in the opposite direction of Kyusaku and Chuuya. His eyes widen with surprise as he beholds the unmistakable figure standing not far behind Kyusaku and Chuuya. Dressed in his customary attire, with bandages enshrouding a significant portion of his torso, the man exudes his characteristic air of self-assurance. Akutagawa immediately recognizes the enigmatic figure before him as none other than Dazai himself.
Hearing his words, the pair turn back. As soon as Kyusaku catches sight of Dazai, his face lights up with joy and excitement. He releases his grip on Chuuya's arm and rushes towards Dazai, embracing him tightly in a hug.
“Dazai, you came!”.
Chuuya is almost stupefied by what he sees. “Osamu…”
After ruffling Kyusaku's hair, Dazai directs his gaze to Chuuya, offering him a vacant smile. “Chuuya.”
“Why are you-”
“Are you here to visit us today? Odasaku said you won't- Oh!” Kyusaku exclaims as if he's remembered something. “You're here for that, right?”
“I am.”
Akutagawa is reminded of what happened at his apartment days ago.
Just then, Higuchi hurries over to join Dazai, Kyusaku, and Chuuya. With an ear-to-ear grin, she greets Dazai with a respectful bow and expresses her enthusiastic gratitude for his presence. Once she composes herself, Director Fitzgerald joins their gathering, prompting the rest of the cast to assemble around them. Akutagawa follows suit.
“I apologise for interrupting your work.” Fitzgerald's announcement cuts through the air, capturing the attention of the cast and crew. “As you all know, we have encountered some complications regarding casting despite being this far in filming. Thanks to a certain person's persistence.”
Higuchi playfully feigns innocence.
“Thankfully, after much discussion, and partial begging on our side, Dazai Osamu has finally agreed to join us as the character Akiyama Keita. Please give him a warm welcome.”
Dazai, wearing his most polished business smile, bows graciously to the group. “I look forward to working with you all. Please take care of me from now on.”