nuke em
i've been lying in bed for 2 hours now.
i hate school, i almost hate every part of it but i like my club so whatever... its been really quiet since touka moved out yuuta only lives a story above me i could to talk to him but i wont
i don't know why im like this. i avoid my friends so often but to be fair i think i annoy them the only thing I've ever really been is a problem. daydreaming has helped me avoid the a lot but i cant stop feeling like nothing the more i think about it the more i realize the only things i like about myself are the things i've made up in my head. i can feel myself crying.
i stand up and start pacing... and put headphones on to a song i like then i start making up a scenario in my head it always makes me feel good, obviously though it stops when the dreamings over i want something more. a bigger distraction you know?
ive heard, thought and attempted cutting before. what do i mean attempted? The only thing around was a pair of safety scissors if you couldn't guess it didnt work i mean it hurt but it didn't bleed no matter how many times i tried it wouldn't work it was shameful but..
touka left a few things behind most of it was tools or useless shit but one of them was a dark blue eyebrow razor.