Just Peachy
"Good morning my greymuzzle floofy friend." Wade happily greeted the Dr. Hank. He held himself back from the jumping hug and instead did a deep curtsy.
Yellow box: Is he his own fursona?
Blue box: I am going to stab you in your disgustingly cheerful face.
Yellow box: Yes, Dear.
"Welcome!" Dr. Hank greeted us as Logan escorted us in. "We're here to get a better idea of your...condition, yes?" I scowled at Wade.
Blue box: With knives and explosions and fire.
White box: Overkill. I approve. They’re being idiots.
Blue box: Overprotective assholes.
"I cant believe you knocked up the lady." Logan teased Wade. Damn right I'm a lady.
"We're over the moon." Wade glowed.
Blue box: Fuck you. Should have cut your dick off when you offered.
"Aw, sweeties. You say the nicest things." Wade gushed. Logan rolled his eyes as Wade blushed. I ignored Wade's offered hand pointedly and hopped on the exam table. I crossed my arms.
"What did you do to piss her off?" Logan asked with a laugh. "Usually she acts like the sun shines out of your ass." Wade patted my head. I snapped my teeth at him and bucked him off. He deserved it.
"Caffeine is bad for the baby." Wade recited. I growled. Like actually growled. There may have been spittle. Wade moved out of biting range.
"Actually, in moderation, caffeine is perfectly safe." Hank corrected. "The main problem is that the toxicity can build when you are pregnant, and given your biology, that is unlikely to be a factor."
Blue box: Get me my fucking coffee.
"Now." I snarled.
White box: Yes, ma'am.
Yellow box: She's scary when she's angry.
White box: Told you we should have just gotten her a triple expresso.
"Right away, Dear." Wade promised, scrambling slightly. Logan grabbed his arm.
"I'll show you the closest pot." he offered. "Just because you're a dumbass doesn't mean she should suffer."
Blue box: Adopt me.
Yellow box: I don't think we could handle protective Dad Wolvie.
Blue box: Then get me my damn coffee or I will start calling him Daddy. Loudly.
I held my arm out wordlessly to Hank as the other two men left. Hank drew the blood carefully and quickly, wiping away the spot of blood with an alcohol swab after. I stared longingly at the Hello Kitty band-aids. I could see them, but I didn't get one. They were glittery. I tried not to pout and failed. I wanted a band-aid. Hank noticed at that point and, because he is my favorite doctor, gave me a band-aid. I put it over my nonexistent needle mark happily. Wade was going to be so jealous.
Hank set up the ultrasound machine, as we had no idea exactly how pregnant I was. Given that I was already showing, he guessed I was starting my second trimester. He rambled about testing for risk factors and I tuned him out.
Wade had refused me coffee for two god awful days. I had refused to talk out loud to him in as many. He almost had to sleep on the couch, but it helps me sleep when he babbles. That and he’s a furnace. But fuck him and the horse he rode in on if he thinks he can get between me and my sweet sweet bean juice.
Wade came in holding two cups of precious liquid. I made grabby hands.
Blue box: Gimme.
Yellow box: We're sorry.
I took the first cup and drained it with a happy moan. It scalded my taste buds in just the right way. They had healed up by the time I started savoring the second cup. Hank used the distraction to spread gel on my stomach.
The wand moved around for a minute before pausing. Wade grabbed my coffee free hand and squeezed. Didn’t he know I was communing with the coffee gods?
"And there is your bundle of joy!” Hank told us, pointing out a fuzzy shape. He quickly took some measurements. “About 10 weeks." Hank announced. Huh. It had arms and legs. I was not ready for this, but I swallowed down the panic. Wade squeezed harder and seemed to be tearing up.
"I want all the pictures," he ordered. Hank took a snap and then he moved the wand to another angle. He moved it and frowned again.
"What's wrong?" Wade demanded. Hank shook off his frown.
"Well," he paused. "There's your baby." He pulled up an image of a little crescent mishappen jelly bean thing. Wade cooed. I shrugged. Hank moved the wand to show another view. "And there's your other baby." He zoomed out, and suddenly they were both on the screen.
Blue box: Fuck.
"I am going to be huge," I moaned.
Yellow box: And so will your boobs.