Figure It Out
Clints POV
As Clint rounded the corner to the back room, he stood on his tippy toes to look over the crowds of people, seeing a large group screaming and laughing. He couldn’t quite see everyone but he noticed Pietro's silver hair shining in the dark room as the multicolored lights bounced off it.
With that he jumped slightly, a small grin on his face and waves in his direction, hoping he would notice him. Luckily seconds later he noticed two shadowed figures break off from the group before making their way towards him.
“You made it!!” Peter called as he got close enough to give him a firm handshake with a massive grin on his face.
“Well some dick did promise me a drink.” Clint said with a smile before breaking the handshake to shake Pietros.
“How is your top by the way? I hope I didn’t ruin it.” Peter asked, seeming genuinely concerned for it.
“Oh it will be fine! Natasha can work her magic, will be like nothing ever happened” Clint continues pointing at Natasha who was stood next to him, before he realized her attention was fully on Bucky who seems to be lost in his own head.
“Good The Thing is too good a movie for me to tarnish any merch of it.” Peter added, before Pietro cut, “Natasha was it? I don’t think we had the pleasure of meeting earlier.” he said, eyeing her up and down wearing an eerily similar smirk to Buckys, when he talks to girls.
She took her eyes off Bucky to look him square in the face, “Hey, yeah I’m Nat. Nice hair, what you do? Get tortured by Yamori a little too hard?”
Peter laughed, nearly spitting his drink, “No way did she just diss you by using a Tokyo Ghoul reference! I love her!” ruffling up Pietro's hair as he continued to laugh.
Nat looked at Clint who was also smiling at her before her gaze turned back to Bucky who was looking like he was mid argument with himself- Clint was getting worried.
“Anyway… Peter why don’t we go get Clint that drink, huh?” Pietro looked down, slightly embarrassed his flirting didn’t land, trying to change the subject.
“Finally!” Clint exaggerated, throwing his hands in the air. He looked over to where his friends had been standing to see if they were coming too- only to find no Bucky and a semi hurt looking Natasha.
His smile fell, letting Pietro and Peter go on ahead, he put a hand on Natashas shoulder trying to grab her attention that was, at the moment, glued to the ground. “Hey Nat, whats wrong? Wheres Bucky?” Clint asked softly, worried eyes searching for any kind of indication of what had happened to his friends in the span of a few minutes.
“I take my attention off you guys, for what? Five minuets? And it all goes to shit” Clint added after a second of silence, successfully drawing a smile onto Nats face, but before she could answer a group and strangers came walking up to them.
“We seem to have lost our little trouble makers, Peter and Pietro, have you seen them?” A man Clint knew to be Tony Stark, child genius, started. “Ones about the size of an umpa lumpa and the other looks like Jack Frost, both equally as stupid.” Tony finished smirking before stopping in front of Clint and Natasha. Natasha rolled her eyes before walking off, clearly not wanting to handle the energy Tony was bringing over.
“The, urm… umpa lumpa owed me a drink, he’ll be back soon.” Clint pointed in the direction of the drinks table.
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Steves POV
As the group migrated from the dark room, Steve's vision took a minute to adapt to the light, he couldn’t really see where they were heading. He felt Tony and Sam stop in front of him- from the fact he walked right into them, Sam looked back with a ‘You okay man?’ stare, Steve smiled widely as the world caught up to him.
He looked over, to whoever was being troubled by Tony, to a shorter man with a mohawk that stood strong and high, he was pretty impressed with it actually, unable to stop looking at it until he realised the girl who was standing next to him left abruptly- ‘whats with her? Hope shes okay.’ Steve thought to himself. As he looked longer at the guy with the cool chunky boots, Steve felt this strong sense of familiarity- like he knew this guy but his brain wasn’t working fast enough for him to pin down a name or from where.
Its okay, though because he seemed to have looked Steve directly in the face before forming a cartoonish shocked face, his jaw basically dragged across the floor, he cut Tony off immediately before pointing at Steve and addressing him, “STEVE??? STEVE-FUCKING-ROGERS?!”
Steve stood there dumbfounded along with everyone else who was now looking between Steve and the guy, apart from Tony who was just offended he was rudely interrupted mid speech. “No no guys, I’ll just be quite, its okay” Tony whispered not so quietly before getting hit in the ribs by Sam.
“Do you guys know each other?” Sam inquired.
“Its Clint Barton, you remember? East New York middle school? I had more flat hair, less chains more Pokemon badges- and you, well I mean… less GOD like more ‘I’m scared that guys gonna blow away in the wind’ because hes so skinny.” Clint described trying to jog Steves memory, scared it wasn’t actually him and he got the wrong guy. If that was him- mY gOd! Puberty fucked him good!
“Oh my god! Clint!! I never expected to see someone from ENY here! How are you doing?” Steve snapped his fingers as the memory came flooding back of life before England.
“I’m sorry we are circling back to the ‘skinny’ thing real quick… You’re trying to tell me his man- this Dwyan ‘the rock’ Johnson looking ass man was ever even once tiny enough for you to worry about him??” Tony interrupted, as if this wasn’t a big deal for either of the other two men.
Steve rubbed his hands over his face, he never wanted anyone to know about his constant state of sickness from when he was a kid- it was what made him so appealing to bullies in the first place. “What can I say… stuff happens?” Steve responded smiling, trying to hide how uncomfortable he was about this topic.
“Where did you go man?? We thought you died or something” Clint said, stepping close to hit Steve on the shoulder, ignoring Tony's little side rant completely.
“I moved to England. Happened pretty abruptly, didn’t really get to say goodbye” Steve added, knowing full well that he didn’t have anyone to say goodbye to, because everyone there hated him, he just didn’t want Sam, Tony or anyone else to know that.
“I see you guys have met.” Peter said with a massive smile on his face, as he joins the group again holding two cups and passing one to Clint, Pietro not far behind him.
They continued talking but Steve wasn’t hearing any of it, he was too busy being bombarded with all the memories of ENY, and how badly he was treated there- now that there was someone here that new that side of him, who witnessed it first hand, he couldn’t hide this from his new friends. He didn’t want them to know, he was just starting to make new friends, but it was undoubtedly that Clint will tell them, he's already said so much Steve didn't want them to know.
He started imagining all these different scenarios where they found out and started laughing hysterically at his past trauma, the way he was so weak and pathetic, how he was never ‘man enough’. Them not want to be friends with someone with such an embarrassing social life, who was bullied so hard he had no friends. They wouldn’t want to know someone, let alone befriend someone that was: shoved in a locker everyday for years, given swirls so often he just never went to the toilets, who refused to talk in class for years in fear someone someone would pick up his speech impediment (where he couldn’t pronounce his L or R correctly)...
He was so stupid and shallow for ever thinking he could actually have people that wanted to be around him- he felt his chest starting to tighten, his breathing becoming more rapid, his hands started to sweat and shake, and a lovely added bonus of the room spinning wildly from the alcohol. Steve needed to get away from them, he couldn't have them seeing him like this. He stepped back, instantly falling into someone, he apologized and kept walking finding a wall to steady himself. He could hear Sam and Wanda trying to shout for him, but it was muffled over the ringing in his ears- he thought he was going to throw up, that his heart was going to beat right out of his chest.
He reached one of the many doors in the Starks house and fell through it. It was dark, cold, and quiet. The cool fall air hitting his blushed cheeks which helped him ground himself for a second, his legs were feeling weak and his whole arm was shaking, he slipped down onto his butt, hitting the damp wooden floor. He curled in on himself, legs right up to his chest, head hanging between them so the air was still circulating around him.
He stayed like that for, he doesn’t know how long, until he heard the click of a lighter followed by a huge exhale coming from his left- he didn’t want to move or look up, unwanting of any attention brought to him, so he stayed focusing on his breathing. Hoping the lighter baring person won’t notice him.
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Bucky's POV
After Bucky left his friends, he went back to the drink table were he did two shots of vodka and grabbed another can of beer, before he made his way to the room with the loudest music. He definitely wasn’t drinking to forget the blonde man's figure and the way he moved- no sir, he was drinking because it was a party! You’re meant to have fun at a party!
He made his way to the middle of the crowded area, and started to dance, feeling his body move with the beat and his hair fall around his face as he bounced his head. He closed his eyes just letting the music take over him, feeling the warm, comforting, fuzzy feeling around his chest and stomach as the alcohol started to take its effect.
Not long after he felt a hand run up and down his arm, his eyes flashed open quickly from the sudden touch of someone else. He looked over to see a pair of wide brown eyes, long blue braided hair that fell way past the shoulders and chest. She was wearing a beautiful silver dress that had long flowey sleeves that fell loose around the shoulders leaving the bare. She looked right back at him, slimming fondly.
“Why hello beautiful, what do I owe the pleasure?” Bucky whispered low and against her head as he pulled her close to that her back was against his chest, his arms warped around her, as they continued to dance.
“I wouldn’t usually do this but you looked so peaceful and handsome, I just had to come over and introduce myself, someone like you shouldn’t be dancing alone” She said turning around to face him, placing her hands on his chest as they continued to dance.
“You are my knight in shiny armor, my night is saved” Bucky flirted, bringing his right hand from around her waist to cup her face, small smiles on both their faces as they held heavy eye contact.
Bucky leaned down bringing her lips to his, she leaned in kissing harder, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her lips were soft and tasted fruity (which Bucky assumed was from her drink), he was about to move his hand to feel to shape of her body, when he felt a tap on the shoulder. ‘Now what?’ he thought to himself as he pulled away from the lovely girl.
He was faced with two very angry green eyes, that he would know anywhere. “Natasha? What the hell?!” He said, wiping his mouth, arms still wrapped lightly around the other girl.
“What do you mean ‘what the hell’? You just disappeared- I was worried! You seemed off earlier” Natasha explained, rather loudly. Bucky felt the body next to him unravel from his hold before silently excusing herself- probably not wanting to get involved with whatever was happening.
“As you can SEE Natalia I am completely fine!” Bucky said with more frustration in his voice than he wanted. The more he looked at Nat, he realized she actually looked less angry and more hurt- which she was clearly trying to hide from him, but Bucky had known her since they were five so he KNEW when something was up.
Natasha just huffed and grabbed his hand before dragging him out the room, through a hallway and until they reached a white door that had a sign hanging from it that said, ‘no entry’, which Natasha decided to ignore and pushed through it. They ended up in a small kitchen, probably one the staff use for when the Starks have big dinner parties. Nat let go of Buckys hand and he just stood there unsure of what to say or do, while Natasha walked up and down the small width of the kitchen back and forth.
“Nat, come on, what is it?” Bucky finally said after Natashas one millionth walk across the kitchen, Bucky swore she was wearing a hole in the floor.
Natasha stopped and turned to face him, her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed together as she turned. She looked truly hurt, but Bucky couldn't figure out what, the fuck, he had done.
“You’re so annoying, you know that!”
“Oh yeah sure, but could you be more specific?”
“You walk around flirting with every girl you see, some that aren’t even showing any interest in you. You act like you are this perfect, hot shot, kinda guy who can just get anyone he wants, but you haven’t- not once- stopped to think maybe you’re just a self centered jerk!” Natashas voice got louder as her rant went on.
Bucky stood there, lost for words, mouth open to say something but there was nothing there, nothing left his stupid mouth. Natasha rolled her eyes, stepping slightly closer to him, before continuing, “You know not all girls find the dirt bag, sleazy thing appealing! I can’t believe you ditch us just to go fuck some random women you’re never going to talk to again!”
“Nat. Where is this coming from? You’ve known me basically my whole life. I’ve always acted like this? Never seemed to be a problem before! I’m not going to stand here and get called a fucking dirtbag ‘who doesn't treat any women with any respect’ by my best friend! Because you know thats not true!” Bucky lashed out, feeling hurt and defenseless against Nat, she was scary when she was angry.
Natasha came right up close to him, not even an inch from his face “You’re such a fucking doofus” She said, Bucky could feel her breath on his lips. He got that same feeling in his stomach that he did earlier, but before his brain could process anything her lips were on his. Her hands cupping his face, her soft skin pressed up against his rough stubble. Buckys eye went wide, and after just a split second he pushed her off, pure sock on his face as he stared at Natasha, expression saying ‘WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!’.
Natasha stepped back, touching her lips, looking just as shocked as Bucky, like she couldn’t believe what she had just done. “I’m so sorry Buck, I- I wasn’t thinking.” she spit out stumbling over her words.
Bucky didn't say anything, still frozen in place, mouth gaped open. His eyes searched for any exit, he saw one in the far right hand corner, and without saying a word he just ran out back into the loud, hot, sticky world that was a college party. He stopped for a second, his brain having to process what to do next, ‘find Clint’ his brain told him. So he barged through anyone and everyone to find his friend, he finally noticed the mohawk sticking up above some peoples heads, he charged forwards, stopping as he grabbed Clints shoulder, as if to ground himself.
“Hey dude, where have you been? You seen Natasha?” Clint said delighted to see his friend again. Bucky looked at him wide eyed, still grabbing on to his shoulder, he mustered up enough brain power to say, “No dude not seen her”, he clears his thought, running a hand through his hair, “Can you give me a joint dude? I just really need one right now.” he finished, whispering the last part so the whole group wouldn’t hear, as hes not sure what their view on weed is.
Clint nods, a little confused as to the sense of urgency in Buckys voice, but he pulls out a bag and slips him one anyway. He thanks Clint quickly before making it for the first exit he sees.
Once he’s outside, he starts to calm down and process the situation. He shoves the joint between his lips and lights it, taking in a massive inhale, letting his lungs fill up with smoke before exhaling. He feels it go straight to his head and that brings a smile to his face, ‘ah, I can basically feel the brain cells dying’ he jokes to himself.
He stays there standing, looking at the night sky, just taking everything in, when he hears a small shuffling noise come from the right of him. He looks over to see a black abyss (as there are no lights out here), squinting his eyes he notices a silhouette of a man who was scrunched up on the porch. He slowly walks over to the man, not wanting to startle him, “Hey man, you good?” he asks softly, assuming it was some random drunk guy who came out here to hurl.
But when the man lifted his head from between his legs to look at Bucky, Bucky stopped. It was the blonde guy from earlier, everything in him was saying ‘run! Don’t talk to him! Don’t interact!’ but when he took in his face a little more, he noticed his eyes were a little red and puffy and his face was all flushed out, his chest moving at an alarmingly fast rate. So Bucky didn’t run, he didn’t ignore the beautiful man, he sat down next to him, placing his free hand on his shoulder softly. The man shifted a little from the touch but didn’t push him off, Bucky took this as a sign to keep talking.
“Hey, hey man it’s okay. I’m right here” he spoke softly, squeezing his shoulder. Bucky may be way out of his league here- he doesn’t know how to handle this… now Natasha, she would know what to do, she always did- but he didn’t want to think about her right now. So he pushed her to the side and continued, “You know, I get overwhelmed sometimes too, is there anything I can do to help? I can leave if that’s what you need” He only asked because he noticed the man's breathing had somewhat gone back to normal, and if he wanted Bucky to leave he would.
The man stayed silent for a moment, then just above a whisper, “Stay. Please.” Steve felt so stupid, he was showing a side he hadn’t showed anyone in years (besides Peggy) and here he was begging some random stranger to stay with him. Steve couldn’t help it though, his voice was so smooth to his ears and as soon as his big hand connected with his shoulder Steve felt instantly calmer.
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Steves POV
After awhile of Bucky talking random shit, the joint still resting between his fingers burnt out, and feeling to Steve’s limbs had come back- Steve finally worked up the courage to look this man in the eye. He was utterly shocked, Oh My GOD!!! This man was beautiful- well from what he could make out from the dim lighting around them. He just stopped and stared into his blue eyes, his beautiful ocean blue eyes. Steve could have kissed that man right there and then- but he held back because that would be weird… yeah weird…
“He-hey there” Bucky spoke softly with a smile that nearly killed Steve off, he felt his heart pounding again but for a whole different reason this time- he liked this feeling, this feeling was nice- safe.
“Hi, thanks for staying. I urm, I’m sorry you had to witness that, you can go back to the party now, sorry for holding you back.” Steve kept apologizing.
“Don’t worry about it, I wanted to get out of there for a bit anyway.” he responded.
“Oh I’m sorry, I’ve made this all about me, are you okay?” Steve said, realizing that he hadn’t even questioned why such a handsome guy would be smoking a joint out back, in a dark and secluded area, by himself and not in the main outside area, which was around the other side.
“You say sorry a lot, don’t you?” the man laughed, observing Steves mannerisms to make sure he was okay now.
“Sorry, I hadn’t even noticed” Steve apologized again, looking at Bucky wide eyed releasing what he just did.
“Oh shit I did it again!” he continued, small smile creeping on his face as the man laughed lightly at him.
His laugh was like music to Steves ears, he wanted to keep making him laugh just so he could continue to bless him- Steve also hadn’t noticed how close they were sitting: their legs touching, his arm was around Steves shoulder (when did that get there?)Steve's arm was resting against his chest. He seemed to sense Steves realization and he moves away slightly. Steve felt the cold wind brush up against his now free arm, he all of a sudden felt how cold it was and shivered from the empty space next to him. Not even a second later he felt a jacket get wrapped around him, he looked over to see the mysterious, beautiful, angelic like man, had given him his jacket- it was leather, just like Steves but this one was black and better fitted. He grabbed the collar of the jacket to pull around his broad shoulders more, turning to fully face the strange man (who always seemed to know what Steve needed) before thanking him for the sweet gesture.
“You never answered my question, are YOU okay?” Steve remembered.
“Oh yeah- I’m fine… My best friend of 13 years, who (up until now) I had always seen as a sister, kissed me. Which was only after she had yelled at me calling me a ‘dirtbag’ and ‘sleazy’ for kissing someone else at a party. So yeah… totally fine, all dandy here” the stranger spilled, looking shocked at himself for just telling that to Steve. Steve sat there shocked for a moment, until he slouched slightly looking away from him, into the dark garden in front of him.
“I mean… sounds like she likes you” Steve finally said after taking a moment to think about his situation, he did help him with his so its only fair he help him in return.
“No, fucking shit! I just, I can’t believe I’ve never known- why would she not tell me!? It’s not like shes not had the opportunity.” he exclaimed, unaware that his voice was getting louder.
“Well, okay, maybe she didn’t tell you because she knew you would react like this… I mean, I don’t know you but it seems as though you didn’t really see her THAT way.” Steve continue trying not to make the guy anymore riled up about the situation- he was meant to be helping.
“What? No! I love her! I love her so damn much! I admire her, I appreciate her, she blesses my life every time I see her! Shes my everything.” He said Steve noticed small tears forming in his eyes as he rubbed his face with both hands out of frustration.
He sighed, pausing for a moment before continuing, “Look… I don’t know whats wrong with me. I’ve kissed so many women, hell I’ve slept with my fair few too, but I just don’t know if I’ve ever really known what it feels like to be in love - not to sound too soppy or anything.” He finished, looking at Steve in the eye with his piercing blue ones, eyebrows furrowed. His face looked so hurt, searching Steves for help.
“Well, as someone whos just come out of a seven year relationship, which started when I was 12- believe me you, you usually know if you’re in love or not. The way you described your friend was very sweet and I could feel the power of that love through your words- to me that seemed pretty promising- the only reason I questioned it was because you said ‘up until now, you had always seen her as a sister’ … so maybe you just need to ease in to things? Take your time, properly process things.” Steve considered, shocked his drunk ass even formed thoughts let alone, getting them all out smoothly.
“Yeah… maybe you’re right.” He responded, leaning back looking up at the sky, which Steve noticed really defined his sharp, squire jaw…
‘OH GOD! THIS MAN IS SO FINE’ he thought to himself while taking in his body from a more stretched out angle. His crop top was rising up showing off his rather defined abs that Steve just wanted to lick, his arms flexed from holding his weight showing off how big his biceps were Steve just wanted to squeeze them. This man was so hot, Steve wanted to just take him there and then- but he can’t! Hes straight! AnD in a crisis about relationships right now, it wouldn’t be fair on him.
“Hey, what if I go get us a bottle of rum and we can just stay out here, away from all the noise?” the handsome looking man suggested to Steve who was still looking over his abs.
“I- urm, yeah- urm that sounds great”
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Buckys POV
After he returned with a bottle of rum, as promised, and two red plastic cups, they talked and talked and talked, until ¾ of the bottle was gone (which was mostly drank by Steve). Bucky checked the time, 23:00, ‘oh god it was late, I hope Clint and Nat aren’t worried about me’ he thought… not that he wanted to see Nat right now, he’s still angry at her.
This got him thinking about Natasha some more, trying to picture her the way the guy in front of him had told him too- but it just wasn’t feeling right. Then, like his brain was against him, the thought of the first time seeing HIM earlier tonight entered his thoughts. The way this man made him feel was unlike anything he had ever felt before, his dick twitched just watching him move- no need to have any form of physical touch to get it started, like he usually had to do- just the flex of a muscle and it was go time.
This thought, plus the alcohol and the weird sense of safety he felt around this guy made these next words just flow right from his mouth- without a second thought or care, “You ever thought you were, you know… gay?” Holy shit! No! What is he doing?! UNDO UNDO! HOW DO I REDACT IN REAL LIFE?! His brain was screaming at him instantly.
He just starts laughing, hand on his chest, laughing. This broke Bucky from his thoughts, he looked at him with such confusion, before he finally controlled his laughter, answering “Urm. YEAH! I’m bi! I love men! Men are so great! Ugh!! They are so pretty!”. He half slurred, grabbing Bucky's shoulders, shaking him slightly to emphasise just how much he likes them.
This made Bucky giggle slightly, “Oookkayyy, so you’ve kissed one? Whats it like?” he said a little too eager about the idea.
Steves face fell turning into a small pout, he slumped his arms to his side like a toddler about to have a tantrum, “no, no I haven’t, but I’ve always wanted to find out.” he half whined at Bucky.
Bucky sat there for a moment, contemplating his next move, but before he even knew what he was doing, he leaned forward until he was only inches away from the mans face. Bucky paused, placing a hand on his cheek, the warm fuzzy feeling was back, his dick twitching again just at the thought of his next move. Their blue eyes looking all around their faces, like they are trying to get an understanding of their surroundings.
He stiffened up, from his slouched position, at Bucky's touch, eyes wide with anticipation and wanting, “What are yo-” He started before being cut off by Bucky's lips on his.