lesbians ????!!?
* private chat of Nat and Masha *
M: Nat?
Natasha?
Natalia?
Woman I married?
Itsy Bitsy Spider?
N: pls never call me that again
M: so we kinda have a problem
N: ???
M: someone set their apartment on fire and ours was right above it………
We’re not allowed in there for two weeks :(
N: WHAT
Is Liho ok?
M: yup :)
N: thank goodness
I’ll just tell the guys you’ll be living in my quarters cause I’m your best friend
M: how do they not know
Like you’re visiting me on a daily at the helicarrier and still
N: tbh it’s fun to let Tony guess
btw he thought that me and Banner were fucking
M: isn’t he like aroace
N: EXACTLY
M: also that age gap ????!!!?
N: bro rlly said Love has no age
M: CRYING
I still gotta work, pick me up at 7?
N: ofc my lovely wife :)
M: ily <3
N: <3
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
murderchild: guys, Hill will be staying at mine for two weeks
tones: WHAT why :(
murderchild: tf is that reaction
tones: I don’t need another scary person here
murderchild: :)
anyway she’s staying here cause her apartment was set on fire and she’s still my friend
tones: how do you even have other friends
murderchild: wdym how
tones: ur scary
murderchild: ur just a pussy :)
cap: LANGUAGE
* murderchild changed their name to nat *
nat: :)
tones: :(
Can u at least cook then
nat: ofc
don’t want her dying cause of ur dishes
tones: ur mean, yk that?
deafguy: yeah she’s
nat: birdbrain, be careful what u say
deafguy: forgot about that Hill part
guys important thing:
never ever insult nat in presence of Hill, she’ll kill u
tones: ok thx
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
*private chat of archer and spider*
S: don’t even try to say it
A: ?????
I didn’t do anything?!?
S: yet
Ik what u were thinking
A: aanndd
ur gonna tell them??
S: no.
A: it’s gonna become so silly tho
I’ve never seen tin man so scared in his life
BYE
S: more fun for us
wanna help me with smth
A: ok
S: can u get these rlly spicy jalapeños ???
A: sure
why tho
S: cause Masha likes it spicy and i want to traumatise some certain avengers, you and Bruce will get a non-spicy version ofc
A: thank goodness
I still can taste those jalapeños from last time I came over to your apartment
S: :)
A: oh DONT “:)” ME RN
you both literally are immune to any spice
I SWAER
S: *swear
A: seriously??
S: yes.
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
tones: so when will icequeen be here ???
nat: give her 10
tones: hours ???
nat: 9
tones: AAAAAAHHHHHHH
nat: also
never ever call Hill icequeen again :)
tones: oki doki
deafguy: ur scared shitless?
tones: yeah
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
* billionaire created “nats friends?!” and added “ archer, greenguy, cap and THOR *
archer: ???
billionaire: ok, so I need this gc, cause I need somewhere to talk bout Nat
greenguy: rlly ?
billionaire: yes
absolutely
archer: btw has anybody seen them?
Hill should alr be here
greenguy: haven’t seen either of them
billionaire: weird.
cap: they’re probably in the kitchen and preparing food.
archer: still proud of teaching cap how to type
greenguy: as u should
archer: :)
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
nat: masha, have u seen my necklace, the one u gave me???
* nat deleted one message *
tones: noooooo
i only read the name :(
anyway who’s Masha ??????
nat: kys
tones: ur being mean again
nat: :)
deafguy: I’m bored, when’s food ready
nat: give us 10
greenguy: nice, I’m alr starving
tones: same
what’s for dinner
nat: Hills favorite
you’ll LOVE it
tones: should I be scared, nahhhh
she usually doesn’t pull pranks on everyone
ok maybe I should be
idk
help
cap: please stop spamming the chat TONY
tones: would u prefer me annoying u I’m presence
nat: no
so just vanish :)
greenguy: I need some vacation.
archer: same
nat: btw foods ready
tones: we are all about to eat our last meal
I can feel it
Couldn’t Hill crashed at her lovers or families place
WHY HERE
I DONT NEED TWO SCARY WOMEN
nat: she stays here
tones: yes ma’am
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
*private chat of archer and greenguy *
A: imagine he finds out that the scary women are married and own a cat ( who’s the devil btw )
G: Wth
A: OH FUCK
G: SAY WHOS MARRIED
A: uhm, my mom and nats mom
G: u both r orphans………
A: :(
G: but back to the topic
NAT AND MARIA ARE WHAT NOW
MARRIED ???!!!?
A: pls don’t tell them I told u !!!!!
I’m too young to die
G: AND THEY OWN A CAT
( dies of cuteness )
A: THAT CAT IS A DEVIL
I SWEAR
G: wait, it’s that where Nat always disappears to
IS M MARIA ????!!?
A: I mean duh
G: at least ik that my gaydar is correct
A: WAIT UR GAY ???!!!?
G: aroace acc
A: congrats for coming out
btw both Nat and Hill are lesbians
G: I KNEW IT
A: btw they’re gonna prank Tony and Cap later
so play along with the good food
G: okkkkk