Soul

It's been two weeks since we officially became girlfriends; I can confidently say she's the sweetest girl I've ever known. She's so attentive to me and to Max, who is more than enchanted by Kate.

We've spent as much time together as we can, as I told her that time, I wouldn't deny it, but we wouldn't expose ourselves. Team Rocket is still out there, looking for their chance, which I know they won't have. And not because they won't catch us, but because they can't stand against us, against the school, against our allies, against what we have. I'm not even on the payroll, I'm just a kind of consultant. I'm not an official part of the school, so no rules are being broken.

Today is one of those days I enjoy the most; Friday, no worries, and me in her arms, trying to pay attention to what's on our new TV, but I can't. My focus is on her hands and the abstract patterns they make on my back. Max has been asleep for a couple of hours now.

"Are you enjoying it?" she asks very softly.

"I'm not really paying attention," I say honestly, "but I'm perfectly fine where I am." I shift slightly to get more comfortable. In less than two seconds, I'm underneath her. She's propped up on her elbows, the rest of her body pleasantly against mine. A radiant smile graces her face.

"Better?" I take her neck in my hand to pull her closer to me. When her lips meet mine, I speak.

"Much better." I had trouble being coherent when she kissed me. "I have a dilemma," I give her a quick kiss; her eyes lock onto mine, "you kiss so well that I can't help but think about the people who've had the privilege of tasting your lips." Her smile widens so much that all I can think about is kissing her and never taking it away.

"It was practice to be ready for you." Damn it all! Can this woman get any cuter? I must have a stupid grin on my face because she starts laughing.

"Is that how you win women over?" She shakes her head.

"I've never been in love enough with someone to say this." Her eyes pop open when she realizes what she just said. Once again, I take her neck and bring her closer to my lips.

"I don't want to sound presumptuous, but it's pretty obvious." With my thumbs, I trace her perfect jawline. "I can't lie to you and say that I'm in love too, because it's not true." I notice the disappointment on her face. "Wait, honey, let me finish." Now one of my thumbs moves over her lips. "However, I know that's going to change very soon. I care about you a lot, Kate, you make me feel so many things that there's only room for Max and you in my head. I ache to kiss you even when I'm kissing you." Carefully, I take her hand and place it on my chest, near my heart.

"Nat," she whispers with her eyes closed, absorbing what I'm saying.

"My soul was famished, about to wither away; now I hunger to feel and let your curiosity shatter my barriers.

"I love you," she murmurs so softly that I can barely hear her. There's no time to think or reply. Her lips attack mine with a ferocity I've never felt before.

Her breathing is labored, I understand, I'm having trouble finding air myself, but I don't want to stop kissing her. I can't, it's addictive. She lets out small huffs, and I can't contain the little moans that escape my throat. This woman is making love to me with her lips. I make a monumental effort, but it seems my moans are only increasing.

"Stop doing that, you're driving me crazy," she says against my lips. She takes the opportunity to move lower and leave a trail of kisses along my neck.

"Stop kissing me like that," contrary to my words, I grab the back of her head to pull her even closer to me.

"I can't." She returns to my lips, and the first thing I feel is her tongue invading me. The sigh is even stronger. "The moment you ask me to stop, I will." I'm about to reply when I feel one of her hands move up to the edge of my bra. She traces the contour of my breast very deliberately, compared to what her mouth is doing.

All that's on my mind is how desperately I want her hand to go further. It's been so long since anyone touched me, and I yearn for it. I continue to savor her lips, my hands that were completely still on her shoulders now roam her back. In a flash, I remember what Yelena said about her assets, I don't think much and lower my hands; now the moan comes from her mouth. My sister is right, there's a good place to put your hands there.

She kisses me with more intensity, her hand that was wandering under my bra is now over my chest. Her mouth silences the small cry that escapes me.

This feels so new to me, so many sensations that seemed forgotten. Her touch is so gentle, yet firm as she is. Wonderful contrasts that are driving me insane. My areola is under the palm of her hand, her fingers gently squeeze the flesh around it, and the rest of me is on fire. I start moving under her, seeking more friction between us.

"Do you want me to take your pants off?" she asks cautiously.

"Yes, please." The hand that was on my breast now searches its way downward. As she was about to reach the button, we heard crying coming from my room. "Max," I said, interrupting the moment. In two seconds, the heat dissipates, and I rush to my room. Upon arriving, I turn on the light and see my daughter's face full of tears.

"You weren't here," she pouts. "Mummy, you weren't here." I ran to hug her.

"I was in the living room, muffin." I plant kisses on her hair. "I'm here, I'll always be here."

"Is Kate gone?" I'm surprised that she's thinking about her. I hesitate. I know she doesn't understand why someone would stay up late at night. So, I follow my heart.

"She 's outside."

"Can she come?"

I hesitate for a moment. "I'll go ask her if she wants to." When I return to the living room, Kate is thoughtful, with her cheeks still slightly flushed.

"Is everything okay?"

"She didn't see me there and got scared."

"I'm so sorry."

"In fact, I told her you're still here, and she wants to see you." Her face shows surprise. "She adores you," I explained.

"And I adore her," she smiles at me. "Is there a problem if I do?"

"Of course not, come on." I extend my hand for her to join me. Hand in hand, we enter my room. Max is focused on my companion's face.

"Everything alright, little one?" She nods.

"I just got scared when I didn't see Mommy." My daughter pats the bed. "Do you want to stay with me until I fall asleep again?" My girlfriend looks at me. I nod slightly.

"Sure, it would be an honor." I leave them for a moment and return to the living room. It's dizzying how quickly everything is happening, but it feels so good. I think it has to do with what Yelena said, you know deep down if it's right. And this is damn right.

When I return, Kate is humming something to my daughter, who is now on her shoulder, her eyes half-closed. I watch them, letting my heart swell at the sight of them together.

"Mummy, come sleep." I recognize that tone, it's more of a command than a question. I walk around the bed and lie down close to them. My daughter changed her position and is now lying on top of me.

"I love you more..."

"Than all the stars in the universe," she mumbles.

"Sweet dreams, muffin." I planted a long kiss on her hair. I turn to Kate, who's looking at me with a gleam I hadn't seen in her until now.

"I'm really sorry that she can't grow up with her other mom, but you're doing an amazing job. You're an incredible woman." Like a teenager, I blush. I'm not used to receiving compliments about my mothering skills.

"I'm doing what I believe is best for her."

"That child looks at you with pure devotion. She sees a hero in you." I make a futile effort to hold back tears.

"It's so hard to find the balance between doing what's right and making up for the fact that Wanda isn't in our lives."

"Rest your heart, you're passing with honors." She reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers. "You're an excellent mother."

"Thank you." In response, I tighten our grip even more. "Stay with us tonight. I can feed you before you go to your father." She smiles.

"I can't resist those tactics."

I hand her one of my pajamas. We're almost the same height. Before changing, she goes down to her car for a toothbrush she recently decided to bring along. Smart girl. With Max between us, we fall into a deep sleep.

My biological clock wakes me past six in the morning. I freshen up before heading to the kitchen. I set the coffee machine going as I ponder what to make for breakfast. I dice some fruit while humming a song about someone who seems like a movie and sounds like a song. I jump when a body presses against me from behind.

"Good morning, gorgeous," she kisses just below my ear for a few seconds. I catch the scent of toothpaste as it enters my nostrils. Her hands take hold of my waist.

"Good morning, Kate." As is often the case when she hugs me like this—which I love—I lean into her. I love the feeling of security and calmness that envelops me when she holds me. Silent moments pass as we both savor the moment.

"It's the first time I've slept with you in your bed, so I want my good morning kiss," she takes the knife from my hand; with skill, she turns me around and seeks my lips. My hands wrap around her neck. I let out a squeal as her hands roam my back beneath my shirt.

"You're wicked," I say, pushing her away from me. The chill of her cold hands runs through my body.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist the opportunity," she half-heartedly apologizes with a Cheshire smile on her face.

After several minutes of banter and suppressed laughter to avoid waking Max, we sat down for breakfast. She seems quite engrossed in what I've prepared, while I take small bites and remain absorbed in watching her. I know she's noticed my unabashed scanning, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes gives her away.

"You can touch it too, if you'd like."

"It's like a museum, I'm admiring the art."

"This museum is interactive." She leans back to give me a kiss.

"Sometimes I wish I could gouge the eyes out of a few guys on campus." This time, she doesn't hold back her laughter.

"I never notice it, and when I do, I ignore it."

"I feel like you're not aware of how gorgeous you are."

"Being aware of it would make me vain." I chuckle.

"Not necessarily."

"Nat, all forms of superficial awareness come hand in hand with ego."

"Could be, but that doesn't change the fact that I think you're absolutely stunning."

"That the girl of your dreams considers you attractive definitely comes with a big ego, so I'm a damn goddess." It's my turn to lean in and give her a kiss.

"That the actual Venus considers me the girl of her dreams... wow." She grabs the back of my neck to pull me closer. The chairs creak as we pull each other closer with more force. I don't dwell on it too much, I stand up without stopping the kiss, push the table back, and straddle her.

"Venus, huh?" Her soft lips create poetry with mine. Her firm hands on my shoulder blades start to slide down and grip my rear firmly. If I weren't sitting, my legs might have given way. "We're even," she playfully whispers against my mouth.

"You're free to take the lead." I leave her lips and move downward. My hands take hold of the base of her neck, and my thumbs gently tilt her beautiful face back.

I love every part of her sensitive skin with my lips. Her hands sensually massage my buttocks, her breath is erratic, and my name is a mantra flowing from her lips, which are now mine. I plant a couple more kisses before looking into her eyes.

Lust.

Intensity.

Desire.

Things I never thought I could evoke in someone so raw. I kiss her gently, indicating that we should stop. Her erotic massage ceases, but her hands don't move from there. Thank the heavens.

"I'm going to remember this breakfast for the rest of my life." She doesn't smile even a bit. I understand; there's so much heat and lack of control within me that I don't remember how to move my facial muscles.

"I'm glad to fulfill your needs." Her grip is so firm that I feel like I'm turning into liquid.

"Don't continue," she warns.

"Or what?" She's struggling to say something; I can see it in her eyes.

"You're a... no, I..." I want to laugh, but instead, I lean in, my lips are below her ear. I will give it a try.

"Or what, darling?" I ask with the worst attempt at a sexy voice in history, although it works.

"Or I'll take you to that couch and make you feel me for days." She reads the Marquis, of course she has a dirty mouth, and may lightning strike me if this doesn't increase my heat even more.

"I'd love to feel you inside me for days," I murmur still against her ear, and with all the willpower I can muster, I pull away. "But not today, Casanova, you have a date with your father." I stifle a laugh when she frustratedly huffs.

"This won't be the end of it, Natasha." I can almost sense the humor in her voice.

"Fine," I shrug. I hear her stand up, and she hugs me from behind; I suspect she knows what effect she has on me.

"I want a date with you."

"We're doing everything backward. Our first date will be after we're already girlfriends."

"That will make it more special, what do you say, gorgeous?"

"Of course, I will love it."

Until now, I had never found it so difficult to let her go as I did today. My lips burn from all the kissing. As soon as she leaves, I grab the phone.

"Geriatric hospital," my laughter reverberates through the room.

"You're an idiot, Lena," I hear her laugh too. "I need your help."

"Of course. Whatever you need."

She's my best friend, sister, and accomplice. I know she'll be able to help me. And well, the fact that she owns a lingerie store will come in handy.

After my grumpy daughter wakes up and has breakfast, we head out to visit Auntie Lena. As usual, when we arrive, my sister starts giving orders left and right.

"Everything has to be ready by Sunday. Our reputation depends on this," she glances at us from the corner of her eye. "Now the real boss is here. Max, come over here and take charge of the business." My daughter practically runs over to Lena and the girls from the store.

"Mummy, can I run a business?" she asks once she's close to my sister.

"Sure, muffin, just don't break anything." She claps a couple of times; Oksana, one of the girls, extends her hand.

"Do you want to see where we make things?" They both turn to look at me. I nod slightly, following Yelena to her office.

"Everything okay?" she asks cautiously. "Fantastic," I smile. "Today might be the day." My voice sounds more excited than I intended. "She asked me out."

"That's so darn cute," her eyes gleam. "Do you know where they'll go?"

"She didn't tell me, but I don't care."

"Are you sure you want to wear fine lingerie to a place full of cows?" We burst out laughing.

"I mean, I want it to happen, but..."

"You're scared."

"Very." I let out a sigh. "I don't want Wanda to show up." I swallow. "There have been times when I think of my wife when I'm with my girlfriend." Her gaze scrutinizes me.

"And?"

"And I don't want her there. I mean, she'll always be there, but I don't want her there when I'm with her. I really like her."

"No, cow, you don't just like her, you're in love." I must have made a face because Lena immediately stands up. "It's the only explanation for why you'd want to set aside your wife. If it were just a passing fancy, you wouldn't even mind saying Wanda's name while in bed. And you don't want that because you're head over heels for her." I start laughing like an idiot. I laugh out loud, even more when I see Lena's puzzled frown as she looks at me.

"I'm in love," I say between laughs. She grabs her intercom.

"Sonya, I need you to get me some holy water." She hangs up and my laughter only increases. A few seconds later, tears start streaming from my eyes.

"Oh God, I'm in love with her." My sister walks over to hug me.

"You're so brave, sestra. I'm so proud of you."

"I'm in love," I whisper as the tears keep falling.

"It's scary as hell, but that's a good thing. You're allowing yourself to feel again."

"Will I be able to tell her?"

"Before that, we need to get you an outfit so you can shout it from the moment she sees you." I take her hand and squeeze it.

"You know I couldn't have done this without you." I hold her cheeks.

"Of course you couldn't have done it without me, chicken." We laugh, and I hug her again. "I adore you."

"And I adore you."

She took a long time choosing the right lingerie. I didn't want to appear too bold, but also not too timid. I wanted her to know that I thought about her every second as I got dressed before seeing her. The assistance didn't stop there; we went to Lena's house to pick out appropriate clothes for a real date, not a work-related one. Obviously, the main judge of this whole process was Max. Although she didn't quite understand what was going on at first, she quickly connected the dots.

"How about this dress, muffin?" Her little eyes search for answers in my face.

"Are you going out to find another mommy?" I let myself fall next to her.

"I'll be going out with someone, yes. I don't know if that person could be someone to share our life with."

"Don't you want that person in our life?"

"Allowing someone to share with us is a very important decision, muffin, we had already talked about it."

"When you find the right mommy, will you tell me?"

"Of course, malen’kiya, you'll be the first to know. In fact, you'll also be able to make the decision." I pull her close, wrapping my arm around her small shoulders. "I love you, Max."

"I love you too, Mummy."

"And I love both of you, but I don't want you to be late," Lena interrupts.

"That dress makes you look very pretty, Mummy. Your date will really like it."

"Date?"

"A friend from school says a date is when you want to impress someone so they don't see what's inside you." We laugh.

"There's a lot of truth to that." I plant a kiss on her head. "So, this dress?" She enthusiastically nods. "Alright, this will be the one."

I'm trembling. Literally trembling. My leg can't stay still for more than a few seconds, and my hands draw abstract patterns at my sides. Lena looks at me with a wry smile whenever she can, and Max looks curious about my unusual behavior. I can't bear it; I need to be close to her. I step away from where the girls are attempting to put together a puzzle—actually, only my daughter is making an effort. I grab my phone and dial the number that's starting to become familiar.

"Hey…" I barely hear it, and I close my eyes. This can't be human.

"Hi," I don't think too much. "I'm really nervous, and I don't know why."

"I am too," she chuckles softly, confirming what she says.

"I know it's still a while away, but..."

"I can pick you up, just ask," there's almost a pleading tone in her voice.

"Yelena can drive me. I haven't told Max anything yet, and she asked me if I was going to find another mommy for her."

"Oh."

"I'm just..."

"You don't owe me any explanation, Nat. If you think it's best for your daughter, I understand. Seriously."

"I didn't want to have this conversation over the phone. I just want to see you already."

"I've been ready for longer than I'd like to admit," I smile.

"I'll see you in a bit."

In less than five minutes, we're getting into Lena's car. Max is in the back seat humming along to whatever is on the radio. She's making an attempt because we hardly ever listen to the radio. I hardly know what's trendy and what's not. My heart hammers in my chest, unable to control itself. I think they can hear it.

"I'd love to take a picture of her when she sees you. She'll be drooling."

"I agree. You look beautiful."

"Thanks to both of you," I turn to my daughter and give her a wink. "Take care of your Auntie Lena, I'll see you tomorrow morning." When I see the massive building, I lose it. I grip the seatbelt tightly.

"Hey," she takes my hand when she parks. "You don't have to tell her if you're not ready. Take all the time you need; everything will be okay. She knows it's a difficult process for you, and she'll respect that, I know."

"I don't want to mess this up."

"You won't. Go, and if you change your mind, call me, and I'll be here in a second," I release the seat belt to give her an awkward hug.

"Good luck, Mummy," I reached out to lightly pinch one of her cheeks.

"Thanks, muffin. I'm going to need it."

I step out of the car and wait for them to disappear for a moment. As soon as I turn, an incredibly attractive woman is standing in front of me. Her long hair is loose and straightened; a lilac blouse and form-fitting black pants in all the right places make her look divine. Neither of us does anything, we just gaze at each other.

"You look stunning," I start.

"Did you not look in the mirror?" She approaches cautiously before taking one of my hands. "You're a dream, Nat. You look beautiful," I shyly smile. I'm still not used to her constant compliments. "Do you want to come up for a while?" I nod. We pass through the lobby, and by the elevator, the man who almost didn't let me in when I had that embarrassing episode with Eleanor is standing.

"And who is this beautiful lady?" He tips his hat and stands up. Kate's smile doesn't quite fit on her face.

"She's my girlfriend, Cap. Her name is Natasha." He gallantly kisses my hand.

"The pleasure is all mine. Those close to Katie have a special place in my heart too," the golden-eyed girl pats him on the back, almost like a greeting.

"We'll see you in a bit," we continued to the elevator. Once inside, I seek her arms. "Are you okay?" I ask, and she nods. "Sure?"

"I've been thinking a lot in these hours. I think I had an overload."

"About what?" I notice the subtle way her body starts to tense.

"About you, lately it's all about you. But don't worry, it's nothing bad."

"Are you having second thoughts about this?"

"Oh, God, no! Not at all. I'm exactly where I want to be." She lets out a small sigh, and a few seconds later, the device indicates that we've arrived at our destination. When we enter, a subtle melody fills the space.

"I cooked for us. I suppose we can't expose ourselves too much to the public yet, but if you want to go out, that's fine. Whatever you want."

"Honestly, I don't feel like dealing with people staring at you."

"I'm the one who doesn't want them looking at you with desire. Do you think you don't have the same effect on guys, with professors? I wish I could tell them you're mine; that I'm the luckiest damn person in the world." She whispers with her lips against my neck. I close my eyes, and my hands bury themselves in her thick hair.

"I'm yours," she's intelligent; she'll read beyond what I'm saying. I know I'm not ready to tell her that I'm in love, but I can say this. Part of the truth. I'm hers.

"I feel like a teenager; I don't know what to do with this, Nat." Her hands move up to my face. "I feel the words spilling uncontrollably from my mind, trying to escape from my mouth, but I don't want to scare you. I don't want you to pull away." Slowly, I start to sway her body to the rhythm of the music around us, trying to control her. Part of me understands her because that's exactly how I feel. It's hard for me to control the things that involve her.

"You don't have to hold back, but you have to understand that this is new for me in many ways. I'm a collection of contrasts because I feel alive with you, but there's still a withered part inside me. I want to be with you, but my past ties me so tightly that my wrists hurt. But I'm here, with you, together. You're my present, and I'm not asking for more because I don't need more. So stop being afraid of me. I'm not going to run away, and I won't regret it; it'll just take me a little longer than others. Can you live with that?" She nods. Carefully, I take the hem of her blouse and lift it off her.

"You don't have to prove anything to me," she says with such sweetness.

"I know, honey, I'm doing this for myself. I really want to be with you and have you keep your promise." Her eyes look mischievous.

"Your wishes are my commands." She takes my hand and leads me to her bedroom. As soon as we arrive, she sits me down carefully. I see her pale abdomen adorned by her white bra. The view is splendid. She does the same with my black dress, lowering the straps to reveal matching lingerie. The lace barely covers my already erect nipples. "Damn it, Natasha," she groans. Mission accomplished.

"Do you like it?" I ask in a timid voice. She lies down next to me. Her eyes are fixed on mine, and with my peripheral vision, I see her hand move to the exposed area and, without warning, she cups my breast with her hand. An involuntary sound escapes my mouth at her unexpected move.

"I love it," she kisses me as her hand plays gently with my breast. Her thumb brushes over the small mound, causing me to lift my hips, seeking more contact, more of her.

"Ka... Kate," I can barely speak, barely be conscious of what this woman is doing to me. Forgotten sensations are making a powerful comeback.

Her lips leave mine to trace along my jawline; she definitely knows what she's doing. She descends to my neck and stays there for a few seconds, knowing how much I love it when she does that. I feel an indescribable heat as she continues her path downward. I know where she's headed, and God, how I want her to get there quickly. When her lips are on my chest, my abdomen is already trembling, and I know I won't be able to hold on for much longer. The sensation is overwhelming. She captures my nipple with her lips and presses the other with her index finger and thumb... It's too much for me. I unravel in her arms, unable to contain the loud moans escaping my mouth. My body burns, and my mind screams her name in a thousand different languages. I hold her head, pulling her to me, not wanting to let her go ever. When the eruption inside me subsides, so does the strength in my hands. Her eyes find mine, they sparkle, she looks happy. I pull her towards me to kiss her with such force that our teeth collide slightly. Our tongues dance with each other, and our hands touch wherever they can. Who is this goddess, and why did she come into my life? Maybe I'll never find the answers, but I know I want her with me.

We slow down after a few minutes, and I'm ready to let go, to let us both strip away the rest of our clothes and spend the night gazing at each other. My hands reach for her pants when a sound interrupts us. It's a very familiar sound to her because she jumps up and rushes to the living room. I readjust my dress and follow her after a few seconds.

"I'll be right there," she starts searching frantically for her blouse.

"What 's going on?"

"Dad," she barely tells me.

"Can I come with you?" She stops her search for a moment to look at me.

"Do you want to come?"

"I want to be with you." She doesn't say more and continues searching.

I assume that's a positive response, so I finish fixing my dress and my hair a bit. She does the same, and we practically run out of her apartment.

When we reach the elevator, I take her hand to get her attention. "Try not to think about anything until we get there."

"I can't."

"I cherish you," She leaves a soft, lingering kiss on my forehead.

"Thank you for trying, my love." We don't say anything during the journey. My hand is tightly holding hers on the gear lever. Her gaze is cold, distant, nothing of the shine it had just minutes ago. My heart braces itself for the impact on her. These things hardly ever end well. When we enter the hospital, Dr. Fitz is waiting for us. He makes a small attempt at a smile when he sees me holding hands with Kate.

"We need to talk," he turns to me subtly.

"She's my girlfriend, she's staying."

"I don't know how much time your father has left. We had to intubate him so he can breathe, there's also kidney failure. There's not much left to do."

"Can I see him?"

"He's unconscious, Miss Bishop, and I doubt that will change," I grip onto her even tighter as I see tears fill her eyes.

"Take me to him, please." My breath catches when I see the man in the bed with so many machines connected to him. Kate is suffering as much as I am, stopping abruptly in front of the door. She takes out her phone and dials; I can hear the voice on the other end of the line, but she's unable to make a sound.

"Let me do that for you, darling." Carefully, I took the phone from her hand and put it to my ear.

"Kat, what's happening?"

"Eleonor, it's Natasha."

"Natasha? What's going on? Why isn't Kat taking the phone?" My heart breaks when I see her enter the room almost afraid.

"We're at the hospital with Kate's dad. She was called in." A sepulchral silence settles between the two of us for several moments.

"I should never have left her alone in this." She's crying.

"I think it would be good if she could have some company."

"I don't know if I can..."

"It's not me she needs right now." I sigh. "I'll ask my mother to come get you." She doesn't say more, and I don't expect her to. I hung up the phone and did the same with my mother. A brief explanation is enough to set her in motion. I sent a quick text to Yelena, explaining the situation. I assure her a million times that she's doing a lot by staying with Max and reassure her that Mom will be there soon.

The minutes become endless waiting, and my skin prickles as the cold starts to seep in. A sleeveless dress is barely a match for the city's wind. I hug myself as I walk around the waiting room. My girlfriend hasn't left the room since she went in. I see some lights parking in the lot. My mother and Eleonor become visible in a moment. Without saying anything, I guide Eleonor to where her daughter is. Her chest trembles uncontrollably when she sees them. It's been a long time since she saw her husband, and it's definitely not an image she wanted as his last. I'll know. I return to the waiting room where my mother is waiting for me with a devastated expression.

"How is he?"

"He doesn't look good at all. The doctor didn't give much hope."

"How's the charm holding up?" Mom had chosen to call my girlfriend since I told her about us.

"Devastated."

"Are you ready to support her?"

"Of course." She takes my hand affectionately before speaking.

"I'm asking you this because you're going to be in a situation where you'll see a woman losing her husband and a daughter losing her father. Your brain will seek the similarity, and it will hurt, because it will scream 'Wanda' from every corner of your soul." I'm paralyzed by my mother's words. I hadn't even remotely thought about that.

"I can handle that."

"For her? Do you want to relive that pain for her?" I know where she's going. I know. And her question, rather than judging me, is showing her disbelief.

"Yes, Mom, for her."

"She captivated you, didn't she?"

"Yes," I whisper, "I'm hopelessly in love with her."

"Oh, Nat, that's beautiful," her voice breaks, "She's going to need your love, and you're going to need hers. Because I can assure you this will be a test for both of you." I sigh.

"I know that now." My mother's words, far from comforting me, put me on high alert. Will I be able to leave my ghosts behind? Or will they consume me again when she needs me the most? What scared me the most was that a part of me knew that the latter option was winning.