Soul

It's just past six in the morning when I open my eyes, and I'm really enjoying this whole sleeping-with-Kate thing. I can't help but admire how beautiful she is; I still can't believe this girl is actually into me. I close my eyes and hold her tightly, wishing the moment could last forever, even though I know the charm has to end before Max wakes up.

"Kate?" I leave a kiss on her hair. "Time to wake up."

"I'm so comfortable," she mumbles with a hoarse voice.

"Someone is going to wake up soon and find us like this." She lifts her face, smiles at me, then sits up.

"Did you sleep well?"

"A lot. And you?"

"Fantastic." My thumb plays with her soft skin as I avoid finishing the sentence.

"If you keep looking at me like that, I won't go anywhere." She squeezes my hand with hers.

"I hope you understand that Max doesn't..." Her index finger presses against my lips.

"I love your fierce instinct; I know you're protecting her. Time will prove me right."

"What do you mean?"

"That you're not just a whim." I lean in to kiss her, but she leans back.

"Morning breath."

"I kissed your booger yesterday, we can't get any lower than that." I leave a gentle kiss on her smiling lips.

"I'll see you later." We walk toward the door.

"I'm bringing waffles for breakfast," I said.

"We're just getting started." She gestures between us. "And you're already trying to fatten me up."

"Everyone has their tactics." I shrug.

"We're all good at something." She steps closer and leaves a lingering kiss on my cheek. She stays there for a few seconds.

"You mean a lot to me, Nat." My hands grip her neck.

"And you to me," she pulls away and smiles at me.

"Give my little one a kiss from me, and this is for you." She quickly kisses my lips. "See you in a bit." She turns to head downstairs. I stand there, entranced, watching her perfect figure walk away.

I feel my chest swell as I return to the couch. It's painfully obvious that neither of us slept well. It's so uncomfortable, I can barely move my neck, but holding her all night was worth it. That gives me an idea – I need to wake Max as soon as possible and let her know I'll be a bit late for work.

Walking hand in hand with my little daughter, my bag with breakfast in the other hand, she's still practicing her spelling; I refrain from correcting her, she's really trying. I smile. I know I'm not doing too bad.

"Your mama's name was Wanda, Wanda Maximoff."

"My name is also Maximoff!" my daughter exclaims excitedly. I smile at her enthusiasm.

"That's right, sweetie. Your mommy's last name was Maximoff, and when we got married, she decided we would use my last name. But I always liked her last name, and when you were born, we both agreed to name you after her maiden name. Of course, it's not a conventional name, and that's why we just call you 'Max.' It's a beautiful name, just like you, muffin," my daughter smiles.

"Now I like my name even more!" she grinds.

"Yes, Max it's a very cool name."

"Did she love me?" Max asks me after a few seconds of silence.

"She loved you more than life itself," I swallow. "When you were inside her, she used to spend a lot of time talking to you, telling you stories, or just talking about how her day went."

"Was she tall?"

"Not very," I raise an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I'd like to be tall, and you're not," I burst out laughing.

"She was taller than me, if that makes you feel better," she shrugs.

"And what was she like?"

"Mamma looked a lot like Uncle Pietro, she was almost like a female copy of him, of course."

"Does that make him my daddy?"

"Uncle Pietro took care of you like you were his daughter ever since mamma left. It's up to you if you want him to be your daddy," she keeps walking, but I notice she's thoughtful.

"No, I don't want a daddy. I want another mommy for me and for you."

"For me?"

"Yes, I see the other moms at school with a daddy or mommy who makes them happy," I love how detail-oriented she is.

"We might find that," or maybe we already found it, I think to myself.

We arrived at the nearest furniture store with plenty of time. It's small, has the basics, and something for everyone. Max makes weird faces when she sees the place we're in.

"What are we doing here?"

"We need a new sofa."

"The one we have at home is almost new."

"We need a more comfortable sofa," I correct, "properly to relax."

"Then we need a bed, and we already have that," my daughter asserts.

"It's for guests, muffin. The sofa isn't suitable."

"I haven't heard Auntie Lena or Kate complaining. They're our only visitors."

"I just want something different, muffin, simple."

"Something a different color that matches?" The explanation was so simple.

"Exactly, something that matches better."

"Okay," she shrugs before looking around in all directions to find something.

"Good morning, ma'am, can I help you with something?" a girl with very large glasses approaches us.

"Yes, we need something that matches our living room."

Minutes later, we leave the place with huge smiles, leaving a somewhat perplexed salesperson due to the complexity of our order. I arranged for the items to be delivered in the afternoon. I drop Max off at school, and we say goodbye with a big hug that makes everything around me disappear.

I'm going to be late anyway, so I decide to walk to the university. It's not a short route, but the weather is favorable; big clouds cover the sun, and a gentle breeze sweeps through the city. As I approach, I see the numerous cars parked, as usual, and spot Kate's distinctive car. When I arrive at my office, America is working with papers we need to submit.

"Doctor, good morning, are you okay?"

"Good morning. Everything's wonderful," I smile. "Did you print what I sent by email?"

"Yes, here it is. Excuse the intrusion, but I dared to read, and it says that I'll be in charge of Linguistic Analysis and Narratology. There must be a mistake."

"Keeping so many hours would mean neglecting the other departments. You'll be paid for the classes you give, unless of course, you don't want to. I'll understand."

"No, that’s fine. Thank you, Doctor," she begins to rhythmically move her leg in a sign of nervousness.

"I'm not going to bite you, you can hug me," she takes a step and gives me a small hug. "Congratulations, girl, you've worked hard. And the classes are a piece of cake. As long as you have everything ready within a couple of hours," I take the sheets she hands me.

"Time to go share good news?"

"Wish me luck."

"I don't think it will help much, but if you like, I can go. I have a brown belt in karate," I burst into audible laughter.

"Tempting, but I'll pass. Thanks, see you later."

My heels echo through the hallways, a few students are there lost in their own world, some still waking up, others putting things in lockers. Everyone has something to do in the mornings. I take a deep breath and head to the farthest classroom in that hallway. Her voice, which now irritates me, can be heard even before I reach the door. I knock and make myself known. Her students look at me attentively.

"Is there something I can do for you, Mrs. Romanoff?" Mrs. The crudest way to make an academic feel bad is simply by stripping them of their title before their last name.

"I need to talk to you outside for a few minutes." His smug smile becomes visible.

"Something so important it warrants interrupting my class?"

"Of course, otherwise I wouldn't be here wasting your precious time or mine," he crosses her arms.

"Nothing that can't be shared with my class."

"I'd prefer to do this privately."

"I don't," I shrug. He asked for it. I handed the sheet to him.

"Your new class schedule. You'll keep the initial groups, and someone else will take care of the other classes."

"What?!" some students start laughing. "You may leave!" he shouts. With reluctance, the students gather their things, wanting to hear the outcome of this exchange. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm asking you to please moderate your language in front of the students, and I ask that you respect my presence." The man is fuming.

"Was this your damn idea?"

"Instructions from higher up," the room is already empty. "If you have any questions, you can come to my office."

"Is your lesbian lover keeping the hours?" I won't stoop, I won't stoop. "Does she need the money so much for someone who's already forgotten her?" How can someone be so despicable?

"I shouldn't be surprised that you'd play such a low card. People like you think you have everything secured, and the rest of us are idiots."

"They are idiots. Do you think I don't know you're sleeping together?"

"Who I choose to sleep with is none of your business."

"It is when they're taking away my hours."

"It wasn't for that reason, it was because of the hippies you took on a field trip without permission from any authority and ended up with community service hours."

"A poor excuse to give her hours."

"As poor as using a relationship to secure an academic position," his face is inches from mine.

"What will your daughter think when she finds out you're with a woman?" the next thing I know, my hand stings with such force I could scream. Walker is turned, rubbing his cheek. Idiot, he didn't even investigate properly and realize that I was married to another woman.

"The exchange of words between us becomes almost entertaining, but my daughter is off-limits. If you mention her again or even think about her, I will rip your damn head off."

"Clint will know about this," he murmurs.

"Even the Queen of England could find out, and I wouldn't give a damn," one last look, and I walked away from him. "If you have doubts, you know where to find me."

"You can go to hell, Natasha."

"That's also where you can find me. Good day, Mr. Walker." I walk to the door, and before leaving, I stop for a moment. "Please leave before the class starts; I like to start my sessions on time."

I don't expect a response; I know he won't, and I know angry is an understatement. I only take a few steps when I'm pulled into a classroom. I can sense her perfume; I feel her locking the door, and when she's done, she hugs me tightly.

"If you didn't punch him, I was going to," I breathed heavily against her neck.

"Did you hear everything?" I ask cautiously.

"He's the one who can go to hell. I don't care about what he might say."

"But I do; it's cruel."

"The world is cruel, gorgeous, we decide what affects us," she steps back and carefully takes my hand. "Does it hurt?"

"No more than his ego," we both smile.

"America told me you were about to confront him, and I wanted to be nearby."

"Thank you," I lean in to give her a chaste kiss on her lips. I want to spend as much time with her as possible. She tries to prolong the kiss, but I prevent it. "I'm eager, as much as you are, but not here."

"Later?"

"Definitely," I give her hand a squeeze and make my way to the exit. "Don't look at my butt," I say without looking at her.

"Don't put it in front of me," my smile widens. I look around before leaving the room.

It's been a while since I spent several hours in front of a class. I forgot how much fun it could be. The students definitely read, much more than I thought they could. Before I even formulate a question, they're already answering it. A typical advanced group; opportunities for scholarships and jobs, each class turns into a human slaughter and a competition over who can humiliate the rest of their classmates more.

After my classes are done, I stroll through all the rooms, and very discreetly, I slip into America's class. She's definitely nervous, but she knows the topic and is putting in a lot of effort to do well. For having taken on the work just a few hours ago, it hasn't been a disaster. My legs lead me to the Literature area. Peggy, as always, is hidden behind a book. When she sees me enter, a Cheshire grin appears on her face.

"I knew it would be you who would bring some order."

"News travels fast, huh?"

"More than you think. How does it feel?"

"It's just one more decision. I'm used to people coming and going, the joys, the sorrows, and of course, the academic tantrums. This is nothing new."

"You're aware that he's not just anyone."

"If he pulls strings up there, I'll pull mine too. I'm not leaving."

"Good reasons?" she raises her eyebrows playfully, "do you like the city's weather?"

"I lived here before getting married."

"The city is smaller than a penny, you can go wherever you want."

"I'm where I want to be," She smiled.

"I'm glad to hear that," there's a war inside me. I haven't wanted to touch on this topic with anyone else. Yelena will mock me; Mom will scold me, but I don't know if an esteemed academic with whom I've shared nothing more than breakfasts in the last few weeks is the right person.

"What do you think about people dating older people?"

"Older? Like how 'older'?" I shake my head.

"Forget it."

"Back then, we were forced to marry someone for their status, religion, or any other factor that wasn't love. Many of those prospects were much older than us, but we had to settle for the benefits and never talk about the drawbacks."

"She's very young," I whisper.

"For what?" she tilts her head, genuinely interested in my answer, "to party? to have sex? to start a family? to have a stable relationship?" Touché.

"I'm so used to sweeping under the rug anything that could potentially be a problem in my life. Especially those that involve my heart."

"It's normal," she takes a deep breath, "is it true what they say about your wife?"

"An attempted assault that ended in murder, or so the police say. They've just reopened the case because they have a suspect."

"They didn't catch him?"

"The only witness chose to help Wanda instead of going after the man."

"Did she make it to the hospital?" I shake my head sadly.

"Her life ended in a cold and gloomy park in New Haven."

"I'm so sorry, dear."

"It's okay, it's been a long time."

"It's not okay if it's preventing a wonderful girl from getting close to you."

"I feel like I'm taking something away from her."

"Of course, the desire to be with you," she laughs heartily, "she may chase after you for a while, but then it gets boring. You get tired of looking for the keys to a door that has no lock.”

"I'm sorry for this. I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this."

"You do know," this is worse than telling my mother and Lena together.

"Are you always this assertive?"

"Only when the other party blindfolds themselves," I can only smile.

"Thank you."

"From time to time, it's good to listen to your heart, Natasha," I smile because she chooses the perfect moment to call me by my name for the first time.

Listening to advice is a tough battle between ego and necessity; the former because no one should be able to make us feel like they can read us like an open book. And the latter, because we have to hear from someone else what we dare not say to ourselves. Even when we know - deep down inside - that we are right, it seems that we need this acceptance from those closest to us or from an expert.

I pick up my phone to send a message to my sister, another to my mother, and the last one to Kate. I'm pretty sure I sighed about twenty times when I did the last one. That woman was getting into every crevice of my being with astonishing ease.

As soon as my work hour ends, I head to the parking lot and see my sister's car waiting for me. I see her gesturing playfully, knowing that she's giving someone a hard time on the other end of the line. I approach to open the door; her voice suddenly fills the air, just like when Wazowski and Sullivan triggered the scream from the director.

"No, the entire production batch is messed up, I want it removed from both branches," she listens for a few seconds, "Find out what happened and call me immediately," she doesn't wait and hangs up. With a smile, she turns to me, "Hey, old lady."

"Hi to you too," I smile, "Everything okay?"

"As long as there's one or more humans involved, something has to go wrong, so yeah, I'm fine. What about you?" she asks as she drives us away, "I thought the hot thing that's head over heels for you would be taking you for Max," I laugh.

"We're not going after Max, I just want to talk."

"Are you okay?" I noticed the immediate change in her voice.

"Absolutely."

Yelena drives us out of town. We grab some sodas and sandwiches on the way. We sing and talk about this and that. Being with her is like recharging my batteries; the woman has an aura that would light up even Edgar Allan Poe. When we arrive, she opens the back door of her car so we can eat while looking out at the extraordinary forest that surrounds almost the entire city.

"Spit it out," I almost hear her arrogant smile.

"I'm really into her."

"Who?"

"Kate," I almost whispered.

"I didn't hear you, chicken."

"Kate," She denied.

"Is this the damn whisper party or what?" I jump out of the car and stand in front of the imposing nature.

"I'm really fond of Kate! I adore her!" I shout with all my might, and contrary to losing my breath, it's like new life is injected into me by saying it, admitting it, shouting it out. I turn to Lena, who looks at me with pride.

"It feels good, doesn't it?"

"Darn good," I reply with a smile.

"She must be really good in bed."

"I'm sorry to inform you that cobwebs are still there."

"Damn, she's got you," she playfully bumps her shoulder against mine as I sit back down to continue eating.

"She has something that..."

"Let me help you," she rolls up her imaginary sleeves, and I know nothing good will come out of this, "She has stunning eyes; a big mouth, like for sucking," I spit out my food to avoid choking on laughter, "she has a great body and a butt..." my mind goes blank because I don't remember paying attention to that particular part of her, "Oh, believe me, sestra, there's a lot to hold onto there," she adds as if she's reading my thoughts.

"And she kisses like a goddess."

"How many times?"

"Enough to make that claim."

"Heated words, only you can come out unscathed."

"Does she have a dirty mouth?" God, I'm back at the university when Lena was interrogating everything left and right.

"We haven't gone that far, but I wouldn't mind whether she's an angel or has the dirtiest mouth in the world," she shakes her finger.

"Sestra, you're looking for a spanking, so don't come with that crap," we burst into laughter, "She's got initiative, a lot of it, so I see in your future that you'll always be looking up."

"I wouldn't complain."

"I knew it! A bottom through and through," she stands up to do a ridiculous dance. I sigh with joy, relief, a little of everything.

"I need to go to Wanda's grave," she suddenly stops and looks at me.

"Why?"

"To talk to her, to close the chapter."

"Are you sure?" she asks firmly.

“If she's showing me even a glimpse of what living is like, damn it, I want the rest. I need this, Yel, more than you can imagine."

"You know you just have to say it, and we'll be on our way."

"I'll do it after talking to Max."

"About the hot thing?"

"No, about Wanda. Kate understands that it's too soon."

"But still, you want to get rid of your wife already," she's testing me.

"She gave me the push, this is for me. Only for me, not even for my daughter. I'm the one demanding freedom, even though I know it will take me a little while, but I've already packed my suitcase," a huge smile settles on her face.

"Five years isn't bad. It's a good amount of time," she comes closer again and puts her arm around my shoulders. I stretch my right hand so that the shiny diamond sparkles between us.

"This is another story," I sigh once more.

"Baby steps, sestra," she presses our heads together, "I'm so proud of you."

"I'm proud of myself too."

The afternoon extended for many more minutes, and with each second, I thanked the heavens for having my sister. For her love; for her patience; for her support; for her sense of humor; for everything she has given me without me even asking. She has been a constant, especially when the world came crashing down on me. Definitely the best friend and sister life could have given me.

I ask my sister to drop me off at Kate's place, and to put her mind at ease, I explain that Max is with Mom and that I'll pick her up at night after talking to the hot thing, as Lena puts it. Before arriving, I ask the building's doorman to receive the sofa and store it for me. We hug one last time before getting out of Lena's car.

"Now I know where you'll be having rough sex when Max stays with me or Mom."

"It won't always be here, we'll change to my apartment from time to time," she raises her eyebrows playfully.

"I love that about diversity."

"Thanks for what you did today."

"Thanks to you for trusting me with it."

"I love you, sestra. You're a blessing in disguise, pain in the ass," she laughs.

"I love you too. You're the best sister life could give me. Now go and make out with that girl," I give her a military salute.

"As you command."

"Once they're done groping each other, tell her I send my regards."

I practically run to her apartment as soon as I get out of Lena's car; I can't wait to see her. The doorman looks at me strangely and subtly stands in front of the elevator before it arrives.

"How can I assist you?"

"I'm here to see Kate Bishop."

"Does she know?"

"It's a surprise."

"I should tell her."

"No!" his eyes widened in surprise, "I mean, it's been a long time since I saw her, and I want to surprise her. Please, help me with this."

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"She's my girlfriend, I know there won't be a problem."

"Your girlfriend?"

"Yes," I swallow, "technically not yet, but soon she will be," he scrutinizes me for a moment.

"I'll call in a while to make sure Katie is okay."

"Sure. Thank you very much," I shake his hand.

I step into the elevator, and the darn thing couldn't be noisier and slower. I nearly trip as I hurry out of the small metal box before racing to her door. I give it a couple of knocks, and my heart races when I hear her footsteps. She opens the door, and a bewildered look settles on her face. I don't give her much time before I press my lips against hers. I kiss her with a certain urgency, my hands gripping tightly at her waist, and our heavy breaths nearly drown out the sound of someone clearing their throat. I lift my head so quickly that I fear I'll get a cramp; my cheeks instantly flush.

"Hello, Natasha." Is there any possibility the ground can open up right now?

"Hello, Mrs. Bishop." Kate tries to hold back her laughter, and the awkward silence is broken when the teapot starts whistling. The older woman heads to the kitchen. I bury my face in Kate's chest, and her laughter echoes throughout the room.

"I'm a mess," I whisper before joining in her laughter.

"A very gorgeous mess." She squeezes me tightly, leaving a kiss on my temple. "I missed you too."

"I didn't know."

"Thank goodness you didn't know, I would have missed out on that kiss." She gently lifts my face and connects our lips softly.

"Maybe I should go."

"You know as well as I do that she won't let you." I sigh, and that makes her laugh again. "Coffee?"

"Please." She takes my hand and leads me to the couch. I only wait a few seconds before her mother sits next to me. A huge smile graces her face.

"How are you, Natasha?"

"Fine, can't complain. I think I missed this place."

"And you have no idea how much this place missed you." Something clatters in the kitchen sink. "Although the place feels uncomfortable." My cheeks burn again.

"The place is very nice and cute."

"And kind-hearted too." She adds; I could swear I hear Kate grumbling.

"I know, I know the place is good for me and for my daughter." She smiles even wider.

"Do you think you're good enough for the place?" Now I can't imagine it, I hear Kate grumbling.

"No." Her laughter fades slowly, "I know I'm not up to the place, but I want to be worthy of belonging there. I'm really trying."

"She's been crazy about you since always." A storm of golden eyes came to sit beside me. Without my coffee cup.

"Enough, Mom."

"It 's fine, Kate." I place my hand on her knee, "I know exactly where this is coming from in her heart. In mine, it's labeled 'Max.'" I take a deep breath, "You have every right to be concerned, Eleonor, but if my past kept consuming me, I wouldn't even give her a chance."

"I don't care who you are, whether you're my friend's daughter or not, I will tear you apart if you hurt her."

"If I hurt her, I'll throw myself into the fire." I say with conviction, "I care about her, and I want to be with her." My thumb rhythmically plays with her knee.

"We'll see." She takes her cup without taking her eyes off me.

"We can't make it official," I continue, "because it puts her in danger at work, but if someone asks, I won't deny it." I turn to look at her, her eyes searching for answers in mine, "I don't want to be with anyone else." She smiles.

"Does that mean you're...?" The girl next to me looks so surprised.

"I am." I smile back, placing my hand on hers on her knee.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Natasha." I extend my hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Bishop." A hint of a smile appears on the woman's face.

"Pleasure meeting you, Natasha. We'll be seeing each other again," she gets up from the couch and heads to the kitchen.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what's gotten into her today."

"I do, the mosquito's name is maternal instinct." I lean in to leave a kiss on her cheek, "She's just looking out for you."

"It was unnecessary," she grumbles.

"Wait until you see what happens when someone comes with Max."

"Will we still be together when that happens?" I intertwine our fingers.

"I trust that we will." I rest my head between her shoulder and neck, "This consumes me, what have you done to me?" I ask softly, not forgetting that we have company.

"I asked the universe for it so many times, I think it got tired of me and granted it." I'm about to reply when I hear footsteps. I intertwine my fingers with Kate's.

"I'll go, dear, we'll talk tomorrow." My girlfriend starts to get up, "It's not necessary," she turns to look at me, "You know it's protocol. Deep down, I'm really happy to see you two together."

"Thank you."

"I hope to meet your daughter."

"Of course, we'll arrange that soon." My smile doesn't fade until the woman walks out the door and closes it. I let out a breath, "I survived."

"And with flying colors." She leaves a loud kiss on my cheek, "So, my girlfriend, huh?"

"I know it's not the most romantic thing in the world; I wanted to prove a point to her."

"We'll come up with something."

"Maybe with a poem?" She smiles at me so brilliantly that I feel a strange warmth enveloping my chest.

"Poetry makes me..." I put my fingers on her lips to silence her.

"It 's my turn." I take her hands, "I don't want to have you to fill the empty parts of me. I want to be full on my own, I want to be so complete that I could light up an entire city. And then I want to have you, because together we could set it all on fire." Without giving her a chance to respond, I leaned in to kiss her, and then I knew. We belonged. We belonged to each other.