Insecurities
Wendy is pacing around a small room in the Spider Society. It was usually used for storage. Boxes were stacked high in corners, various pieces of clothing were strewn about, and discarded gizmos were piled up in the middle of the floor. But that was not the most important part of it all. The most important part was a standing mirror that stood against one of the walls. This place was where Wendy went to boost her confidence or to find a moment of silence among the constant chaos of the society.
The mirror has always been daunting to her. Once she found out who really was behind her cousin’s tragic death, she’s barely been able to look at herself in a mirror for more than a few seconds. The only things she usually did was fix her hair and the small amount of makeup she needed to perform her duties as a spider. Other than that she hated her reflection and looking at the person staring back at her in the mirror.
The thing was she had to look at herself a little bit more than a few seconds with a ball coming up for all the spiders. This was before Miguel lost his universe and he was still chipper and planned events like this.
She was stuck in this room trying to hype herself up enough to not detest what she saw as she got ready. She had to be beautiful. To look stunning and she just wasn’t sure she could do it.
Wendy sighed.
Wendy: Come on, girl. You can do this. It’s just a reflection, right? Your reflection so what’s the big deal?
The only thing that answered her for a while was silence.
Wendy: Who am I kidding? It’s much more than a reflection. It’s always been much more than a reflection.
A knock at the door startled her and she turned quickly to see who it was. In walked Jess, a sympathetic look already on her face.
Jess: Miguel said you would be here.
Wendy: How does Miguel know about this place? I thought it was forgotten about.
Jess: It was…until you disappeared for more than a few hours today. We noticed it was right after the ball announcement. Is there something we should know?
Wendy let out another sigh. Debating whether she should tell Jess one of her deepest secrets. Gwen’s voice echoed in her mind. The day she told Wendy she needed to be open and not fight the world by herself. Wouldn’t this be the best place to start?
Wendy: I find myself…abhorrent.
Jess: (said in a caring tone) That’s a really strong word to describe yourself. Where did that come from?
Wendy: I haven’t been able to look at myself in the mirror properly since I found out it was Norman who had been using me and was one of the main reasons why Peter died. I knew it wasn’t all my fault, still I thought I had a big part in it.
Jess: Oh, honey.
Wendy: I mean, how can I look at myself in the mirror and see someone who is anything but…but a monster after that? What kind of person kills their cousin like that?
Jess: We’re going to stop it right there. I know you’re still new and you’re still learning, but every spider has had to deal with the death of a loved one.
Wendy: But this is different! You didn’t snap anyone’s neck! You guys got to say at least a few things before they died! I only got to see his lifeless body when I reached the end of my web!
Jess: Not all of us. Most of us didn’t directly kill our friend, our loved one, but we did nothing to try to stop it. We saw the band of villains, the bad guys, whatever you want to call them and didn’t do anything to stop their rampages before it was too late.
Wendy: Wh-what?
Jess: It’s true. Every spider person carries the guilt of that day with them. We all wish we had a time machine to go back and stop it. Long story short, you still deserve to think well of yourself even after all that’s happened.
Wendy: But what’s good about me? Why do I deserve to think about myself that way?
Jess walks up to Wendy and sets her hands on her shoulders gently.
Jess: Do you want to know what I see?
Wendy nods her head slowly.
Jess: I see deep gray beautiful eyes. I see a smile that lights up the room when you walk in. I see a personality vibrant and bubbly hiding behind the mask you wear. I see a person who has been through a lot, but still has it in her to care about those around her and make others feel good about themselves. I see someone who is truly good inside and out.
Wendy now has tears in her eyes. Hearing it from someone else put a lot of it into perspective. She’s never heard herself described that way.
Wendy: W-wow…that’s amazing.
Jess: It’s because you are amazing. You want to know one more thing I see?
Wendy nods again.
Jess: I see a person who has many people behind her, backing her up and will one day make a great mentor to a young spider person who will be lucky to have you.
Wendy: You think so?
Jess: I know so. You’re brilliant and kind. You need to start believing in yourself the way all of us believe in you because you’re a lot greater than you could ever imagine.
Wendy turned toward the mirror once again. She took Jess’s hands off her shoulders and looked in it. Truly looked in it. Suddenly she could see all the things Jess described. She could see kind eyes, a bright smile, and a person another spider could trust with their life. It would take a while longer, but finally she could see a person worthy of the title of spiderwoman and worthy of life.
Wendy: Kind and brilliant…
Jess: Do you finally see it?
Wendy turns back to Jess.
Wendy: A little bit. It’s a start. Thank you for everything.
Jess: Now go pick out your dress.
Wendy nods and walks out. Jess’s gizmo rings as soon as she does and she picks up.
Miguel: Is she feeling any better?
Jess: I think she is. She’ll be okay.
Miguel: You did good work, Jess. I don’t know where we’d be without you.