Second Kiss
Kallista took a deep breath, focusing herself. She had practiced what she meant to say for weeks, months, years. She was about to see Tristan for the first time since he was chasing her, about to speak to him for the first time in years.
The last time she saw him felt like a nightmare. Her tongue had frozen in her mouth, heart racing, muscles still. She stood there and couldn't get herself together to say anything at all, not when her friends were shouting at her, not in her own mind. He appeared out of nowhere, crashing into her life like lightning. She was a tree at the top of a hill, helpless to do anything but let the sky break her into pieces.
She used to dream of going on adventures with Tristan, at his side. Now she had nightmares that he would arrive on her travels and…she still didn't know what she was afraid of. That he would scream at her? That he would tell her he hated her? That he would revoke her oath to him and tell her never to return? That he would kill her? Or maybe worst of all, that he would forgive her and that all of this running would have been for nothing? She could barely even think that last question , burying it in her mind.
She stood at the front gates of the estate in town, a place she knew as well as she knew her knives. It was after proper visiting hours, lights were dimmed, and no additional carriages stood outside. Kallista turned to face her friends, biting her lip in a rare display of outward tension.
“It's going to be fine,” Eldon assured her, smiling brightly. “And we'll be right there.”
“Not doing anything though, like I asked, correct?”
Eldon rolled his eyes upward and sighed. “No, we will just be standing there.”
Kallista caught the wink and the thumbs up from Ria, the nod from Sapphire, and the smile from Lumen before she turned back around.
“Then I suppose this is it.”
Kallista reached out and pulled the bell cord tightly, stepping backwards. Within seconds, the party saw a man step out of the estate, holding a lantern. As he grew closer, she felt something in her chest pull tightly. It was Hawthorne. She hadn't even glimpsed him since the day she was branded.
“Kallista, is that you?” he asked, seeing her face in the light.
“In the flesh,” she said, removing her hood and squaring her shoulders. “If it would please my lord, I seek an audience with him.”
Hawthorne sighed, and nodded. “If you would all care to follow me.”
The party trailed inside, the others looking around once inside the manor itself. The chandelier shone in the light and the paintings on the wall loomed large. Kallista caught her breath at seeing the once familiar portrait of the Lord and Lady VanGaunt with the newly debuted heir between them. She could never have forgotten their faces but she forgot how the painting always made her feel small.
Hawthorne led them to the audience room, nodding at the guards in front of the large double doors. He glanced over at Kallista.
“Ought I remove any of your weapons?”
Kallista took a deep breath and met his gaze. “I keep my oaths. I am no threat to my lord.”
“Good,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Off you go.”
The doors open and Kallista suddenly felt like she was choking. Tristan sat on a single throne on the small dias, his sharp gaze pinning her where she stood. Her next attempt to breathe in felt like the coldest days of winter, shards of glass cutting her open. She walked forward, unable to meet his eyes any longer, falling to her knees in the center of the room and bowing.
“It's been a long time, Kallista.”
She didn't dare turn to see how her companions were reacting, what they thought of the formality that she lived under for most of her life.
“It has indeed, my lord,” she replied, knowing that by using her name he was granting her a response.
“Why have you returned after so long away?” he asked, his voice unreadable.
Kallista bit her lip and then slowly, carefully, drew her rapier while still kneeling. She heard the scrape of steel from around the room, the guards ensuring she did not actually intend to harm the Lord VanGaunt. She braved a glance up through her lashes to see if Tristan had pulled his sword, but he still sat precisely in the chair, eyes never leaving her form.
“I have come to return what I have taken from you and your house,” she began, body shaking. “When I left, I took away opportunities, a trained servant, and Retribution.”
Kallista held the blade up, balanced on two fingers. “This sword is named for that which you deserve the chance to take, what is your right and responsibility as the head of the VanGaunt family. I acted in such a way that I do not feel my oaths were broken, but as the final arbiter of those oaths, you will decide my ultimate fate. My life is, as it always has been, in your hands.”
Tristan’s eyebrows raised, eyes searching her for something. He stood, tall and brilliant in front of her and Kallista fought to keep the sword balanced as Tristan walked closer. He stood over her for longer than was comfortable but thank gods the party hadn't spoken. None of them would understand the dance of words and actions in this room, the levers and demands of power.
Tristan reached out and took the rapier she offered up, swishing it in an expert flick.
“At least you still take care of your weapons,” he remarked. Before Kallista could move, the point of the blade was pressing beneath her chin, pushing her to look up at him.
“So do I.”
Kallista stood slowly as the pressure of the blade increased, standing to her full height only a few inches shy of his long frame. Tristan slowly lowered the sword and took a final step into her space, closer than she dared to imagine.
“My lord?” she asked, voice quaking.
Without speaking another word, Tristan put a hand at the back of her head and drew her forward into a kiss, fierce and passionate. Kallista couldn't help but kiss back, trying to show him how she had felt all these years away, the depth of the emotion she had once buried away, all of her love for him. Tristan deepened the kiss, pulling her closer and running his hand through her hair. Everything was alright with her in his arms, right next to him, where she was meant to be. When he finally broke away, he smiled at her.
“I've been thinking of doing this for a very long time,” his voice filled with warmth.
Kallista was smiling helplessly at him as he turned and took a step back towards the dias, doubtlessly to welcome her friends.
He turned around, “there's just one more thing.”
Kallista staggered, seeing only a whip-quick motion and feeling a punch to the chest.
“No!” a chorus of voices yelled behind her. She could smell magic in the air, ozone shifting, a crackle of light, along with the heavy iron of blood. Oh. This was it.
Kallista turned enough to face Eldon, her eyes meeting his. “I asked you not to do anything,” she snapped, starting to feel the weight of the blade that ran her through. Eldon quickly gestured to the others to stop as he ran forward, light growing around his hands.
“Don't hurt him,” Kallista whispered breathlessly, suddenly sure her lung was compromised. “It's okay, this is his right and responsibility. My life is his to take as I swore it would be.”
Eldon nodded, anger in his eyes as he reached for her. “Fine, just let me heal this and we will go somewhere else.”
Kallista shook her head, looking to see where Tristan was. He was back up on the dias, his face cracking at the edges. She smiled at him and pulled a face.
“Months with these people and they still don't understand politics,” she gasped, batting Eldon’s hands away. “I'm going to die because I said I would and you aren't going to stop me. I'm an oath breaker, that's what happens. Retribution.”
She tilted her head towards Tristan as her lungs started screaming in pain, seeing a light smile on his face. He took a breath and it seemed like he hadn't breathed properly until now. He was at peace, she could be glad for him. She would be at peace soon too, no longer worried about any of these choices, any of these exhausting events. Darkness began to flicker in her vision and she closed her eyes.
“Good morning!” a familiar voice called out.
Kallista snapped out of her bedroll, knife in her hand and hair askew. It was Sapphire, starting to put together breakfast who had called out, offering a cheery wave.
Kallista laid back down, listening to the birds of the forest only a week's walk from Sentall. They weren't there yet. She still had time to plan what to do, what to say, how it would end. She was so tired, heavy with exhaustion. It was the third time in as many days that she dreamed a version of the same dream. She had been forgiven, banished, and now killed. Not that it mattered what happened. She was going to face him. If he decided she ought to die, then it was simple. She would do anything for him.
So she would.