Defenestration and Kidnapping
The Nerd Squad
I Am Not Your Father
Peter
Da Queen
Peter
I Am Not Your Father
Peter
Da Queen
Peter
I Am Not Your Father
Peter
Da Queen
Peter
I Am Not Your Father
Peter
Da Queen
Peter
It’s kidnapping day
I Am Not Your Father
Pettteeeeerrrrrrr
We need to kidnap youuuuuu
Da Queen
Come on Peter
You promised we could kidnap you today
Pigeon Crasher
Shhhhh
Spamming me for three hours straight during work is bad!
I Am Not Your Father
You’ve been at work for three hours?
Pigeon Crasher
…..
I Am Not Your Father
More than three hours?!
Pigeon Crasher
………….
Da Queen
Peter.
How long.
Pigeon Crasher
So maybe I’ve been at my internship for almost seven hours
Da Queen
Yup
We’re kidnapping you
I Am Not Your Father
Do you think that if we go up to the front desk and just say “we need to be let in to kidnap our friend” they’ll let us in?
Pigeon Crasher
No
I think you’d be arrested
Da Queen
Then you better come outside soon to stop us
Cause we’re on our way
Pigeon Crasher
Guys I can’t be kidnapped today
I have to finish what I’m working on
Then I need to go home and do homework
I Am Not Your Father
No
You need a break
And screw homework, you’re getting kidnapped
Da Queen
Homework isn’t all that important anyway
Pigeon Crasher
You don’t really believe that
Da Queen
No
I do not
But does saying it make you want to be kidnapped more?
Pigeon Crasher
Not really
I Am Not Your Father
Well TOO BAD
*Throws your homework out the window*
Da Queen
The window
The window
The second story window
I Am Not Your Father
With a heave
Da Queen
And a ho
I Am Not Your Father
And a mighty big throw
Da Queen
I threw-
I Am Not Your Father
-yeeted-
Da Queen
-it out the window
Pigeon Crasher
You did not just defenestrate my homework
I Am Not Your Father
Oh yes I did
Pigeon Crasher
I needed that for school!
I Am Not Your Father
Too bad
Pigeon Crasher
It’s fine I can just go get it
I Am Not Your Father
It landed in a moat and got eaten by alligators
Pigeon Crasher
Since when did I have a moat outside of my house?
I Am Not Your Father
Idk
You just have one now
Da Queen
I put the moat there!
MWHAHAAHAHA!
Pigeon Crasher
*gasp*
I Am Not Your Father
Plot twist!
Pigeon Crasher
But why?
Why build a moat outside of my house?
Da Queen
You see, many years ago, when I was just a small chold, my homework was defenestrated into a moat and eaten by crocodiles!
I couldn’t pass school without it!
And I lost EVERYTHING!
I just want others to feel my pain!
And poor, naive, little Ned played right into my hands!
Pigeon Crasher
*gasp*
I Am Not Your Father
But why alligators?
You just said yourself that your homework was eaten by crocodiles!
Da Queen
There were no alligators to buy :(
I Am Not Your Father
Sad
Da Queen
Because I killed them all in a murderous revenge plot!
Pigeon Crasher
*Gasp*
Da Queen
And also the evil crocodiles were on sale
Pigeon Crasher
*GASP*
I Am Not Your Father
Wait you bought them?
Why not just steal them?
Da Queen
You misunderstood
I bought them with my FISTS
Pigeon Crasher
*GaSp*
I Am Not Your Father
Does that mean you don’t have fists anymore?
That was a dumb deal
Pigeon Crasher
*Gasping intensifies*
Da Queen
No…
I..
*Sobs*
I have hooks for hands now
I’m so ashamed
My shopping habits have gotten the best of me
Pigeon Crasher
It’s okay
*Pats you on the back*
Now you can use this experience to become a shopping superhero!
Da Queen
You’re right!
Just call me…
Uh…
I Am Not Your Father
The Super Shopper?
Da Queen
PERFECT
I AM THE SUPER SHOPPER
MWHAHAHAHAHA!
I Am Not Your Father
No bad
You’re a hero now!
Pigeon Crasher
Yeah!
No evil laughs!
Da Queen
Oh right
I mean
HAHAHAHAHA
Pigeon Crasher
Now it just seems like you’re laughing at me :(
Da Queen
I mean, usually I am
I Am Not Your Father
We’ll work on the laugh
It’ll become perfected eventually
Da Queen
Okay!
Now come outside, Loser
Ned and I are here
Pigeon Crasher
…..
*sigghhhhhh*
I Am Not Your Father
We’re going to talk to the receptionist
How’s your criminal voice, MJ?
Da Queen
Convincing
I Am Not Your Father
Great!
Pigeon Crasher
Fine!
I’m coming!
DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID
I’M COMING
I’LL BE DOWN IN FIVE
Da Queen
….five minutes
I Am Not Your Father
Perfect amount of time to do something stupid
Da Queen
………or something illegal
Pigeon Crasher
NO