Seventy-Eight Weeks

Lena was hit by a huge warmth consuming her. The sun was shining but she realized she was still on earth. But it was like the earth was on fire.

Of course is Kara’s paradise a sun-filled space. It’s so hot here. 

She stood in front of an old charming house with a veranda. With shaking legs she stepped towards the door, panting. She felt like something was pressing at her chest and hindered her lungs to work properly. 

There was shouting of joy and music playing in the backyard, Lena assumed. And a dog barking. She stood in front of the door, fiddling with her hands and wasn’t sure what to do next. 

Knocking at the door? Ringing the door bell? Just stepping inside?

She wasn’t sure, but knowing Kara’s perfect paradise would be without danger: she opened the door and of course it was unlocked. 

Lena stepped inside and was greeted by a surprised Kara, who looked at her like she was the sun of the earth. Lena didn’t knew what to say, but Kara, welcoming her with a hug. A hug she haven’t felt for 78 weeks. God how much she missed Kara. Kara whispered tenderly with so much love: “I missed you. Why are you here earlier? Not that I’m complaining. But shouldn’t be your business trip with Sam be longer?” 

And when Lena thought they finished after letting her go, Kara was eyeing her suspiciously. She laughed nervously and Lena was out of words. She needed to focus. But when Kara grabbed her face, her sweet crinkle between her brows arrived almost worried: “Baby are you alright?” 

Kara’s eyes bore into her soul, but still Lena couldn’t say anything. It was to much. Trying to process the whole situation here. Baby???! 

Seeing her again. 

Feeling her again.

 The next thing she felt was Kara’s soft lips on hers. Kissing her delicately. Lena. Kara was kissing Lena and she couldn’t respond. She stood there, unmoving, silent and agape, while Kara kissed her with all the love she could give.

 When Lena didn’t kissed her back, Kara let go of her and furrowed her brows. “Baby tell me what’s wrong. You’re scaring me!”

 Lena felt tears building up in her eyes, she needed to concentrate. She tried to focus and let out the breath she was holding inside of her chest. She shook her head and closed her eyes forcefully and said with a shaking voice: “I… um… Kara listen, we need to talk. Um…” 

Before Kara could respond, the door to the backyard opened and Lena heard a voice. A voice she knew perfectly. “Lena, hey I didn’t know you were back early.” Both of them turned around and Lena almost fainted.

 In front of her stood Lillian with a child on her hip. Smiling friendly and…. Actually happy to see Lena. Lena shook her head and pushed her fingers to her temples. She felt her heartbeat increasing. Kara’s hand on her shoulder, carefully and troubled. 

Lena breathed out loudly: “this can’t be serious.” 

Kara rushed towards Lillian in a hurry and grabbed the child carefully from her hands. Moving back to Lena, looking also stressed now: “Lee maybe you’re having a panic attack or something. Will it help you to carry our baby for a bit. You know it always calms you to have her nearby you.” 

Our baby. Of fucking course it’s ours.

 It became worse and worse. Everything here was to perfect to be real. 

What is Karas perfect paradise? Living together with a child, everyone is happy and there is no pain in this world? Being a married couple? And a dog? Just pure happiness? Lillian what? A kindhearted soul? Of course this is so Kara…

 She looked at this child, blue orbs forcing itself into Lenas mind, pulling her arms out towards her, laughing and babbling. The child looked so happy. Before Kara could come nearer, Lena stepped backwards, raising her hands apologetic. “I’m sorry I… need to get to the bathroom at first. I’m a little out of mind. I’m sorry.” 

She fled out of the living room. It was all to much for her, she needed her space. She rushed through the living room, ignoring Karas pleading to stay with her, she didn’t know where to find the bathroom but she also couldn’t care less, as long as she was away for a few minutes. 

She rushed into one of the rooms and shut the door behind her loudly. She even locked the door. Thank god- it was the bathroom. Her hands opened her blouse with trembling hands to try to force more oxygen into her lungs, calming her panicked heartbeat. Her visions became blurry and she had the feeling to pass out in any minute. 

Small boxes. Put it in your boxes Lena. This isn’t real. Nothing here is real and you need to get her back. YOU need to get back.

 A heartbreaking sob left her throat and she sank to her knees crying. She couldn’t be that one to destroy Karas perfect life. She cried and cried and didn’t know how long, until she heard a soft knock at the door. Lena gasped, stood up and ran cold water over her wrists. 

A soft knocking at the door was heard again. “Lee please. Can you open the door?” 

Lena looked into her own eyes through the mirror and breathed in deeply.

 Come on you’re a Luthor. Act like one. 

She heard her own voice. With shaking legs she moved to the door slowly, looking into desperate and teary eyes of Kara. Before saying anything, she grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer, to hug her tightly. Impossible close that not a paper would be able to be between them and breathed in her scent deeply. It finally felt like home again.

“Lena. What’s wrong? Please tell me.” Stated Kara with a shaking voice clinging to her for her dear life.

Lena sniffed and closed her eyes. She mostly let go of Kara but still held her hand. “It… Kara I’m so sorry that I have to be the one to tell you.”

She swallowed hard and Kara looked down, her hand started shaking uncontrollably. “Are you breaking up with me? What have I done wrong?” she looked up, tears of frustration running down her cheek: “Are you? You can’t be serious. We…” she was crying now.

Every word and every tear that left Karas eyes, was a dagger into Lenas heart. But she needed to be strong. More now than ever.

What you have done wrong?! God Kara you are TO perfect for this world.

Kara continued: “Lena we have a child together! What are you thinking?!” 

The next thing Lena knew was Karas desperate hands on her blouse, pulling her closer and kissing her forcefully.  It was a sloppy wet kiss while Kara whispered: “You can leave me. NOT Again!” When they broke apart in need of oxygen.

Kiss.

“Please stay with me.” 

Tongue.

 “I need you!” 

Grabbing her blouse tighter between her hands, huffing: “please I’m begging you stay.” 

Lena cried while kissing her back. It felt like a break up all over again, because she knew Kara wouldn’t be the same when she comes back into reality and it broke her heart. 

She broke the kiss, eyes still closed, forehead to forehead. It was like she was having a Deja-vu of their first kiss all over again. Lena caressed her cheek and whispered: “I love you Kara. I love you so much.” Kara whimpered but relaxed a little into this tender moment. 

Lena took a deep breath and started: “You… were attacked. In our real world. Someone attacked you with a black mercy.” Kara stepped back, broke the contact and  furrowed her brows, shook her head fast: “Nnno. I’m here right in front of you.” 

Lena missed the connection instantly: “This world here isn’t real. You’re trapped in your own wishful paradise.” She smiled painfully: “There is nothing real but me and you.” 

Tears quickly built in Karas eyes again. She was denying it at all costs. “This isn’t true. You’re lying Lena. Why… why would you do that?” 

Lena heard a crack around the house and she knew, deep down that Kara believed her. She forced herself to stay strong, just a moment longer: “Alex visited you here too, but you shut her out. I’m… Kara I can’t even begin to explain how much it hurt me to take that away from you.” Her eyes were burning with unshed tears, but she wouldn’t let them fall. 

Kara sniffed and pouted, angry tears streaming down her face now, she raised her pointing finger angrily and gritted her teeth: “I… don’t believe anything you’re saying. If you don’t want me anymore, just say it! Go for it. But don’t you dare tell me that everything is a lie.” 

Lena ducked her head, defeated, breathing out calmly. “Who else is here?” 

Kara shook her head unbelieving, everything is silent around them. “Our family is here. The crew, my mom, Astra, our Lori, Lillian and Krypto.” 

Lena was emotionally overwhelmed. She didn’t want to know but she had to ask: “Who is Lori?” Kara gasped: “Our 7month old child, Lena! Have you lost your mind?” 

One tear left Lenas eyes, the second, the third and so on following. She still wasn't able to respond but she hiccups and felt Karas eyes on her. Silent steps towards her and a soft hand on her shoulder. Karas demeanor changed immediately as soon as she heard Lenas sobs. “Baby… Listen, maybe you’re having a concussion or something? Or… or you’re dehydrated?  I… let Alex know, she’ll check you up. Just stay here.” She wanted to let go, but Lena grabbed her hand and hindered her.

 Lena whispered: “Kara. Astra died. Your mum died when Krypton exploded.” 

The house started shaking, like Karas hand. The floor rambled and the glasses chirmed uncontrollably. Lena knew she had to continue, even though her heart broke more an more: “Lillian tried to kill you probably more times than Lex did. She isn’t… the lovely woman of your paradise.” 

Another crack was heard, but Kara didn’t respond. She held Lenas hand tighter and silent tears ran down her cheek, her breath quickening. So Lena continued: “We can’t have a child because we barely have a relationship at the moment.” She swallowed hard: “We haven’t seen each other for…” 

Kara intervened and finished her sentence with a shaking and quiet voice: “Seventy-Eight weeks.”

 The house was shaking again, rumbling, crying. Karas eyes looked up and found hers. The shine in them was gone, Lena just saw pain and sadness in them. She forced a smile: “But I’m back Kara. I came back for you.” Kara shook her head frantically and whispered: “No… I… I can’t come back. I’m happy here. For the first time in 78 weeks I’m really happy.” 

Lena sobbed: “I know. And I know that there is nothing I could do or say to make it better. Believe me, I’ll never forgive myself that I caused you this pain. But… You will die Kara. You are dying already and we don’t have much time.” 

But Kara didn’t respond. Her realization hit her on full force. She let herself down to the floor and whimpered. Lena crawled towards her, caressing her cheek with both hands, whispering tearfully: “I’m sorry I left you Kara. But I promise you, I won’t leave you ever again.”

 She sniffed and smiled, as she realized the spark in her eyes slowly coming back. “I know I can’t give you your mom and aunt back, believe me I would. And God there is no way that Lillian will be a loving grandmother. But Kara…” She caressed her cheeks softly and continued with a shaking voice: “I’m here and I love you. And I won’t leave you again. And seeing this here. We both having a child, a dog and a loving family. I… want that with you. I can’t imagine another person but you.”

 She felt herself becoming anxious again, she was practically begging: “So please Kara. Please come back to us. You are happy here, but WE can build our own perfect paradise for the next 60years. We need YOU for our happiness.” 

Kara sobbed harder but reached out for Lenas hands, totally leaning in the touch. Lena leaned forward and captured her forehead with her lips softly, while whispering: “You’re so strong Kara Zor-El.”

 Kara asked with a shaking voice: “What do I have to do to get out?” 

Lena: “You need to reject this world mentally. So the Black mercy can’t feed from you anymore. You… it has to be your wish to let go of this world.” 

Kara looked at her with puffed eyes: “So I have to destroy you?” Lena smiled and shook her head: “No you don’t have to destroy me. Brainy will get me out. I’ll be right beside you when you wake up my love.” 

Kara, whimpered small and quietly: “Promise?” 

“I promise, I love you Kara, in your paradise and in reality.” 

They looked into each others eyes and leaned in slowly. When their lips melted the whole world around them collided. And Kara felt a new kind of hope, she felt hopeful that everything was about to be fine in the end, as long as Lena was back. 

The next thing Kara realized was that everything was dark around her and she was alone again.