Paris blues

The sting of chlorine in his nose is what wakes logan up, what has him rolling off the couch he's crashing on and dropping onto the floor. 

He groans and sits up, his legs folded under him. He retracts his claws, they always come out during the nightmares, and just breathes for a second. Sitting there still until the sun comes up and the friend whose couch he's borrowing comes out to gather breakfast for himself. 

"You alright Logan?" He mumbles, William looks over his shoulder while he gets their coffee ready. 

It's been like this for weeks. Logan had a breakdown, at home in Canada. He had to flee. He won't be able to go back for a long time, not until the murder is forgotten. 

He drops his head in his hands with a scoff. What does it matter? He's in Paris and he might as well enjoy it. 

"Fine Will." He mumbles. Finally Logan stands and pulls his undershirt back on, the one he had worn the day before. It doesn't matter, he smells like dirt and shit no matter what he does. Logan sighs and walks past William to finish the coffee whole he works on breakfast at the stove

It's quiet for a while, until William speaks. 

"You're shell-shocked Logan." 

"I'm not." 

"Lo." William shakes his head, "you can't sleep through the night, sometimes you just stare off into the distance, you can't stand being in the rain, you have these moments where you don't know where you are-" he turns away from the stove to point a fork at Logan. "Youre shell-shocked. I'm sorry but it's true. You need to do something about it." 

Logan rolls his eyes and pours them both a cup of coffee, he slides William's across the counter and the other man catches it and takes a sip. 

"Will, there's nothing I can do. I've just gotta live. I'll be fine-" William reaches out and grabs Logan's shoulder before he runs away as always. 

"Lo, you're not fine. Look at yourself, when was the last time you actually took care of yourself? You're gonna kill yourself and we both know we've lost to many brothers to that." William shakes his head, "I won't lose you too." 

Logan manages a small smile. 

"Trust me Will, you aren't getting rid of me anytime soon." He said. William smiles and turns back on the stove. 

"Eggs will be done In a minute." He said, Logan nods and heads back to the couch to dig through the backpack he's been living out of to find a shirt. While he buttons it up, Will walks by and drops a plate on the coffee table on his way to the little balcony off his bedroom he likes to eat breakfast on. Logan smiles after him. 

Will reminds him of Kurt. 

Fuck.

He thinks of Kurt too often. 

He isn't even sure Kurt's real, that he didn't just make him up because he wanted a friend so badly.

If he is real Logan doesn't have high hopes, the Great War was devastating and guessing Kurt's age, he'd have been drafted in to fight.

Logan wouldn't wish that on anyone. 

He had gone willingly, thought his powers would make it easier to help people on the front, but all it did was fuck up his head. 

Logan picks at his eggs but doesn't eat, he slides them into the trash before Will can come out and see. 

Then once he's dressed to heads out. 

He's got a job, a new one, standing as the bouncer for a little club that tourists don't know about and most Paris residents don't bother with. 

But it pays well. 

Logan shoulders the door open and walks down the street to the newspaper stand, he doesn't buy one but he skims across the front page. The news is the same as usual. With a small paragraph to a local boy who had killed himself. 

Because of the war. 

Always the war. 

Everybody in the world was so happy but…the boys who were on the front lines aren't. Nobody cares. 

Logan walks away with a scowl and a cigar in his mouth. He doesn't smoke much really but he likes the taste and the texture. He just chews on the end of it. 

He's got hours to waste begore he goes to work and he spends it wandering the streets. Listening to street performers or going to see the sights. It's touristy but he doesn't care. 

The sun starts to set when he's across town and he hustles to get to work. 

In the end he gets there early. 

He ducks in the door and finds a place to be. 

The voice on the stage that greets him as he settles into a seat with an order of whatever whiskey was the strongest on the way was smooth. Accented but unclear where from. It was a rolling baritone, singing something in English. Once the song finishes and the singer speaks Logan gets it. 

German, surprising. A German in Paris after the Great War was an odd thing to see. Especially being cheered. 

Logan glances up with half a thought, but his eyes stick and he's on his feet before he can think about it. 

"Thank you, before I start another I like to ask if there's any requests?" He said, and now it was so clear. 

Kurt. 

His tail sways behind him and his golden eyes glow. Holding the microphone steady with one hand and the other palming his hair away from his face. All the same, but so different. 

He's older, but again so it Logan. 

Kurts got the scruff of a beard, a darker blue than the rest of his fur, and his hair is longer. No longer clipped close to keep it tamed like when he was a boy. Now it hangs long enough to fall over his eyes and curl around his ears. Logan stops breathing for a second, only brought out of it by the tap on his shoulder of a waitress. He downs his drink in one go with a nod and drops his hat back on his head. Then moves through tables toward the stage. 

How badly he wants to interrupt the song to talk to Kurt, but he doesn't. He stands just close enough that if someone were to look he'd be mostly out of the dark smoke of the place. Washed in the stage lights. 

Kurt doesn't notice him, his eyes closed as he lets out some syrupy sweet song in French. 

Logan stands there, hardly moving at all, until the last note ends. Then when Kurt starts to speak again he smiles and pipes up. 

"How bout somethin to dance to darlin?" He said. 

Kurt freezes and his eyes finally pin on Logan. 

For half a second he doesn't move, but then he's all motion. Yelling something about a break to someone offstage before jumping down and running to tackle Logan in a hug. 

"Logan! Oh mein wolf." He said, Logan hugs him and with a huff of a laugh he looks up to meet his eyes. 

"Damn, you got tall." He said, Kurt laughs and steps away, only to take Logan's hand and lead him to an empty table. 

"I did. Though I can't say the same for you." He said, he doesn't let go of Logan's hand when they sit down. "How have you been? It's been so long. I-" 

It seems to hit him then, it has been a long time. 

Almost 40 years, and they both look like they're in their 20s. 

Logan sets his hat on the table and puts his other hand over theirs. 

"Yeah it has been…listen I'm not normal blue. You saw how I heal and, as it turns out, that means I don't age much." He said, Kurt smiles and leans over the table to hug Logan, whispering teary eyed against his neck. 

"I thought I was the only one, I thought I was alone-" he said. Logan stands up and moves his chair with his foot, over next to Kurt, all without letting go of his friend. 

"Hey I know, but you ain't alone blue." Logan leans away, leaving one arm around Kurt's shoulder. His friend wipes his tears with the back of his hand and looks down at the table. 

"My brother is dead," he said, he shakes his head and looks at Logan. "I killed him." Logan sighs and presses his forehead against Kurt's, one of the old ways of communication they had. 

"I'm sorry blue." He said, Kurt sobs again and collapses against Logan's chest. Like he'd never had anyone to talk about that with. It doesn't matter. Logan's done his own killing, so he just wraps his arms around Kurt and holds him close. Waiting for the tears to stop in the dark of the club. 

When he settles enough Kurt smiles and stands, holding both of Logan's hands in his and pulling him towards the door. 

Not the main door of course, Kurt was still Kurt. Still blue and fuzzy. 

"What'd ya want elf?" He said, the name slips out but kurts laugh is well worth the slip of the tongue. Such a beautiful laugh, Logan had always thought so. 

"I want to show you where I've been living! It's a little way away but I promise it's worth it." He said, Logan laughs and stops them before they leave. 

"I'd love to but it'll have to wait till morning. I'm on the clock in a couple minutes." He said, the gears turn in Kurt's head for a second then he laughs. Bright and bold as brass. 

"Youre the new guy! Oh this is wonderful. I've missed you so much Logan." Kurt stumbles into another hug and Logan holds him tight. Just like he did all those years ago. Which reminds him…

"Youre gonna have to tell me everything that's happened elf. Your mama still not like me?" 

"I never talked about you again." Kurt shakes his head. "She wouldn't let me. She didn't want me tangled up in a mess but, I got tangled up anyway." Kurt strokes his thumb across Logan's cheek, "I like your beard schatz." He whispers, they're close now. Too close to be in public. 

Logan leans away with a small apologetic smile. 

"I missed you." He whispers, then the owner of the club, his name something like Henry, has caught up with him and is tugging Logan off to go deal with a fight brewing near the stage. 

—---------------

He's here! 

There's a feeling bubbling up under Kurt's ribs as he sits in the dark corner by the back door smiling, waiting. A feeling he'd like to call coming home. 

"I'll never talk about him again!" 

He shakes his head, how long he had regretted bargaining with his mother. He should have said something else, anything else. Something that didn't have him on a ship back across the ocean with his mother's watchful eye over his shoulder by the end of the week. 

In his memory Logan has been crawling to him while he walks away for a long time. 

But he's alive. 

Kurt nearly bursts into tears again. He's not alone! Logan is strange too! That thought does push him to silent crying again. Long into the early hours of the morning. 

He's dozed off at some point and it's Logan ruffling his hair that wakes him up. 

Kurt snorts and sits up, picking his head up off the small table on the corner with a half smile. 

"You didn't have to wait elf." 

"But I did." Kurt said, Logan offers his hand, ever so gentle, and pulls him throught the door into the back alley. 

"Lets go!" Kurt said, he yawns and stretches and pulls Logan deeper into the city. Through alleys and across side streets they get to a small building that looks to be multiple flats. Kurt climbs stairs nailed into the side with a smile and opens the door to a large open space. A bedroom and bathroom are the only things cut off from the rest of it. 

"Its nice." Logan said, but he isn't looking at the flat, not when Kurt is beside him again. 

Kurt smiles down at him and steps closer, he puts Logan's hand on his waist and tilts his head. 

Tears slide down his cheeks all the sudden and Logan reaches up to thumb them away. ,..

"Hey fuzzy, what's wrong?" 

"I left you," Kurt said, he wipes his tears away but they come faster than he can wipe them away. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

"Blue…" Logan pulls him into a hug, tight and strong, and whimpers against his neck. 

"I'm sorry. You were hurt…I'm sorry." Kurt continues to mumble. Logan just rubs his back. 

"Its okay elf. It's okay." Logan guides them to sit down on Kurt's ratty couch and Kurt nearly climbs into his lap. 

They sit curled up together until one of Kurt's neighbors opens a window and the slow sounds of a violin ring out in the dawn air. 

It's then that Logan realizes Kurt is asleep. he stands up with Kurt gathered into his arms. His limbs flopped sort of everywhere with how lanky he is. Logan had thought maybe Kurt would grow into his length when he imagined his friend on those cold lonely nights, but clearly that hadn't happened yet. If it ever would. 

Logan managed enough to get them both to the small bed in the other room, and Logan tucks himself against Kurt and they press close to fit on the bed. 

Kurt cracks an eye open and smiles. 

"Thank you." He whispers, Logan laughs. 

"How long you been awake?" 

Kurt shrugs and twists his tail around Logan's leg.