It’s when both Peter and Tony are working in the lab that things come to light.
Peter is reaching up to grab a soldering iron from the top shelf, standing on his tippy toes. In doing so his dark blue sweatshirt sleeves ride up. Tony has to do a double take for a moment when he sees the red lines. Two of them, one on each wrist, raised and red. They stand out against the kid’s pale skin, but disappear once he grabs what he’s looking for and brings it down. The boy’s heels touch the floor once more.
“Pete?” Tony asks, his voice shakier than he meant it to come out.
Peter turns to him, after putting the soldering iron down at his station, with a confused and slightly worried expression, “Yeah.”
What does he say? Does he tell Peter that he saw them? Is it his place? Would Peter be angry? Why did he do it in the first place? Did he really try to- He cuts his last train of thought off before it can finish leaving the station. “Are you alright?” Tony wants to facepalm. Of course, the kid's not alright.
“Uh, yeah I’m fine.”
It hits Tony then just how many times Peter has said I’m fine in the last couple of months. How many times he would say that and not elaborate. How many times he would say that without even a hint of happiness on his face. Without much emotion at all really. “You can talk to me, you know that right?”
Peter looks almost bewildered, “I know.” There’s a pause, “Are you okay?”
Is he? No, he’s not. If Peter isn’t okay then neither is Tony. He is hurting when the kid is. Some may call it sympathy pains, others call it being a parent. “No, I’m not.” He answers truthfully. It even surprises himself.
“Oh,” Peter seems taken off guard by that. “Can I ask why?”
Tony gives him a small smile, it means a lot that the kid cares, “Because I’m worried about you.”
Peter’s eyebrows furrow, “You don’t have to worry about me?”
“I’m always going to worry about you kid.”
“What if I don’t want you to.”
Tony smiles, “Not really an option.” It’s a parent's job.
“But that’s just it, I am sick of worrying everyone.” It comes out harsh and Tony’s smile drops. “I hate that I bother everyone.”
“Whoa whoa, you don’t bother people Peter. I worry because I care.”
“Never mind, can we just drop it. I’m fine.” There it is again, I’m fine when clearly he is not.
Usually Tony wouldn’t push, afraid of overstepping a boundary, but after what he saw, he can’t not. “I’m not willing to put this conversation off Pete.” I’m not willing to lose you again.
“There is no conversation to have. I’m fine.” He turns back to his station, plugging in the soldering iron that he had left on the table.
“Please turn that off so we can talk.”
“Nothing to talk about.”
“Peter.” He uses his dad warning voice. Or at least that’s what Peter calls it.
Peter sighs, but turns it off. “Mr. Stark, I don’t know what this is about, but I’m fine, promise.”
He doesn’t want to say it out loud, but he can’t drop this now, “I saw the cuts.”
Peter freezes, physically stiffens. He uses his hands to tug his long sleeves down as far as they can go, curling his fingers over the hem. Like hiding them would make them go away. “I-I don’t know what you're talking about.”
“Kid, please just talk to me.” Peter looks down and refuses to make eye contact. “Can I ask why?” Tony echoes Peter’s earlier words.
There is a pause. Only the sound of the air conditioning, the two of them breathing, and the slight hum of the lights above can be heard. “Coming back was a mistake.”
“What?”
“From the snap.”
Immediately Tony’s heart starts to beat faster, and it’s obvious Peter can hear it as he looks up at the increase. “W-Why would you say that?”
Peter looks back down, “I don’t belong and I just make things worse.”
“You don’t-”
“Yes I do.” Peter argues before the older man can even finish, “I caused you trouble by going into space even after you told me not to. Then you almost died bringing half the universe back.”
“Bringing you back.” The universe got lucky that bringing Peter back meant bringing the rest back too.
“Exactly!” Peter says as Tony had just proved his point. “May has a fiance now and barely has time for me anymore. I barely know anyone at school now. I screwed up with EDITH and Beck. Things only turned out okay because you came in and saved the day. Including deleting the video he made announcing my identity. Who knows what would have happened if that got out. Probably even more bad things that would be my fault.” Peter takes a deep breath, “I’m just a burden. People would be better off without me.”
That last thought is so absurd that Tony would laugh if this wasn’t so serious, and if that thought also didn’t make him want to cry. His voice is soft when he replies, “I wouldn’t be better without you Pete. I’ve done it before, for five whole years, and it almost destroyed me.” He takes a shaky breath just thinking about it. Thinking about the nights he spent locking himself away trying to find a way to bring Peter back. The nights he got so frustrated, sad, and angry, that he trashed his entire lab. The long days it took him to rebuild what he had destroyed and start again on finding a way. It’s in these times that he welcomes the phantom pains of his lost right arm. If he feels the pain he knows the last snap actually happened, meaning, he got his kid back. He got Peter back. “I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish,” Peter is now looking at him and he can see the anguish and concern swirling in the mechanic's eyes. Tony starts again, “but if for nothing else… try for me. I can’t live without you kid. Not again.”
Peter had felt like he just made everything worse. Made life harder for the people he cares about. Made things more complicated for May. But looking at Tony’s distressed face, full of deep worry lines, he realizes that the thought of losing him is worse for the older man. Worse than being the burden he believes he is. “I’m sorry.” He can’t help but say as he can practically feel the concern radiating off Tony.
“Don’t be sorry, just please come to me when you feel this way.”
Peter can’t promise that he will. He never wanted anyone to find out anyway. His super healing had saved him and the visible scabs will be gone by tomorrow. He wasn’t planning on telling anyone. But, if it helps Tony feel more secure, then, “I’ll try.”
“Thank you.” It’s not over, long way from it. Tony is going to keep a closer eye on the kid. He also plans to come to the city more often and have Peter over at the lakehouse more frequently. Morgan and the kid could use some bonding time anyhow.
For now, Peter is back and Tony is going to do everything in his power to keep it that way.