“Ok, write these down. It’s scientifically proven that writing down goals helps to achieve them.” You rolled your eyes as Steve started handing out markers. Somehow, during a stupid late night discussion amongst the team, talk had turned to New Year’s resolutions.
“I’m finally going to destroy Redwing.” Bucky’s messy scrawl was the first on the whiteboard.
“Oh the hell you are, Barnes!” Sam rushed up to erase the line.
Steve ignored the scuffle breaking out next to him as he wrote in confident block letters. “I’m going to read more books this year, make time to relax.”
You sent a soft smile his way. “Love that for you, Stevie. I’ll give ya some recommendations if you want.”
“That’d be great, thank you.”
You heard Bucky grumble something under his breath at the exchange, but couldn’t quite make out what he said before Sam sent a swift elbow to his side.
“Ow, dumbass.” The tussle was back on.
You held out a marker to the only other person in the room. “What about you, Nat? Any resolutions?” You wiggled your eyebrows suggestively toward the blond Captain now trying to pry his best friends apart. You lowered your voice. “Maybe you have a few recommendations to help Steve relax.” You only found yourself on the receiving end of a death glare for your teasing.
“No. And I don’t do resolutions, nobody sticks to them after January anyway. It’ll just be a long month waiting for the new recruits to stop using the gym at all hours of the day.”
She pushed the marker back toward you. “What about you? Any goals for the New Year?” She raised her eyebrows. Your eyes flitted over to a certain brunette, currently trying to dodge Sam, your heart ticking up in speed as you did. You sighed and looked away before the sharp witted super-spy in front of you could follow the line of your thoughts. Bucky Barnes:your mission partner; best friend; and horribly, stupidly, unrequited crush. You weren’t quite sure when it happened; but somewhere between secrets whispered on quiet stakeouts and backs pressed to one another’s during shootouts, you’d found Bucky had pulled off the greatest job of all time and stolen your heart from right under your nose. The worst part was, he didn’t even know that he’d done it. Just one glance from him could knock the wind right out of you during a sparring session before he’d even touched you, yet he didn’t seem to be affected by you at all, simply treating you like a friend; which was exactly why you needed to get over him. Bucky’s friendship meant more to you than anything else in the world, and you weren’t going to ruin it with your misplaced infatuation. You found you did have a resolution after all. Plucking the marker from Natasha’s fingers you strode past her and pressed it onto the whiteboard before you lost your nerve. What was that saying about the best way to get over someone?
“You’re going to – you’re planning to…” Bucky swallowed.
You turned to find the room had gone silent behind you. Sam’s arm hung limply around Bucky’s shoulders where he had clearly just had him in a headlock, and it appeared that the thought hadn’t even occurred to Bucky to stand straight again, eyes wide as they met yours.
“What? Why are you all looking at me like that?”
The collective center of attention seemed to suddenly shift from you to Bucky, who finally snapped out of his stupor and pushed Sam’s arm off of him. “It’s just that you—you’re—going to date…more?” He finished breathlessly.
You scowled and folded your arms across your chest, surveying the silent group in front of you. “ What? You all think I can’t pull a date or what? Thanks for the vote of confidence, guys. Make me feel real good about myself. I know it’s been awhile but…”
Sam interrupted your rant. “No, no, it’s not that, it’s just that…” He glanced at Bucky out of the corner of his eye again. “You seem so content on your own.” He finished lamely.
You sighed. “I am content on my own, Samuel, it’d just be nice, you know, to have someone.”
“Well I for one think it’s a fantastic idea.” Natasha smiled at you smugly. “I’ve been telling you for months to try out a dating app, I’ll help you set up your profile. In fact…” She trailed off as she tapped her lip thoughtfully. “You know, they say people are less likely to stick to their resolutions if they don’t have a plan. We should find you some dates for holiday activities, and then you can have a head start finding someone to kiss on New Year’s Eve.”
Bucky made a strange sort of choking sound beside you, Sam promptly smacked him hard between the shoulder blades. “The dry air’s been gettin’ to him lately, gotta get some humidifiers in this place.” Sam nodded at you when you looked at them quizzically.
“Nat’s right, you know.” Steve chimed in, sending her a grin. You huffed out a little laugh. “Yeah, we know you’re a man with a plan, Steve.”
Your stomach twisted slightly at the thought of actually going on a date, and your friends, especially a certain super-soldier, being witness to your social experiment.
But you need to move on, the thought whispered inside your head. And really, it was just a few low-stakes dates, and your friends to back you up if anything went horribly wrong.
“Okay, I’m in.”
“Self-righteous punk .” Bucky grumbled under his breath. “And she didn’t even believe in resolutions a week ago.” He sent a murderous glare toward where Steve and Nat glided across the ice, she gracefully skating backwards, holding Steve’s hands as he took hesitant glides forward. In Bucky’s opinion it would go much better for Steve if he focused a little more on skating and a little less on the redhead in front of him. A week after the resolution talk, Nat and Steve had helped set you up on a date, under the guise of an afternoon of ice skating.
Sam came to an abrupt stop beside Bucky, sending a spray of ice onto his skates.
Bucky’s glare intensified. “Woah, you’ve got your murder face on, what…” Sam followed Bucky’s gaze to where you and your date were struggling across the ice.
“Oh. Y/n found a date, huh?”
A muscle in Bucky’s cheek twitched.
“You know, Buck, your New Year’s resolution should be to tell her how you feel.”
“No. Not happening.”
“C’mon dude, why not? You’ve been pining after her long enough. And I think she’s got heart eyes for you too, soldier.” Sam bumped his shoulder conspiratorially.
Bucky’s mouth was suddenly dry, and he felt like he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs; a familiar feeling now, whenever you were around. He could stare down the barrel of a gun without his heart racing as much as when you looked point blank in his eyes. That’s why he hadn’t asked you out yet, he’d thought that he had time. Time to calm the jitters that buzzed in his hands, even the metal one, when you shot a smile his way. Time to calm his erratic nerves when you sat just close enough to touch on the couch during movies. Time to fix whatever the hell made his brain shut down and let you get the best of him while you trained; you really shouldn’t be able to pin a super-soldier as often as you did. He should have known that he’d already been given more than his share of time, and it wouldn’t wait for him any longer.
“If you don’t tell her, someone else will.”
He was all too aware.
“I can’t do it. I couldn’t when it was just us, and now I have to compete with every idiot in New York.”
Bucky glanced back at Sam and scowled at the mischievous grin that had suddenly spread across his face.
“Whatever you’re thinking, the answer’s no.”
He cringed as Sam clapped him in the shoulder. “Don’t worry, man. I just thought of how we’re going to level the field. Leave it to me.”
Bucky was pretty sure he was right to be worried.
It hadn’t been as hard to find a date as you thought it would be, but finding someone you actually liked, that was a different story. You tried to focus on the man that currently had your hand in a death grip, trying to hold each other up as you teetered across the ice. It was difficult when another figure surprisingly adept at skating kept crossing your eyeline as well as your thoughts.
“Stupid Winter Soldier,” you complained under your breath when Bucky lapped you, again. “What was that?” Your date asked.
“Oh nothing, don’t worry about it.” You pasted a fake smile across your face and resolved not to look at Bucky for the rest of your date. You lasted about five minutes before looking up, but only because the object of your attention was hurtling toward you at breakneck speed.
“Bucky, look out!” You screeched, but there was no time as a couple hundred pounds of pure muscle slammed into you and your date, throwing you all to the ice. You cringed, waiting for the hard icy impact, but none came, and you slowly opened your eyes to a pair of worried blue ones inches from yours.
“You alright, doll?” Bucky asked. His metal hand had come around to cup the back of your head, and his other encircled your waist. You found you were a bit breathless, even though Bucky had taken most of the impact of the fall. “
Fine,” you breathed. “I think I’m fine. Thanks, Bucky.”
He helped you to your feet, steadying you as you went. “Sorry about that, sweets. I think someone ran into me, sent me flyin’, couldn’t stop.”
Sam skated up just at that moment. “Shit are you guys okay?! I saw the whole thing!”
“More like caused it, you mean.” Bucky muttered.
Sam eyed Bucky. “Sure you didn’t hit your head there, old man?”
“It’s alright, Bucky, really.” You decided to interject before more injuries occurred on the ice.
“Yeah, well I’m not alright.” A voice from below you spoke up, and three heads swiveled to where your date still sat, holding his nose as bright red stained the crystal surface below.
“Oh, oh no…” you started, reaching out your hand, but Sam was faster. “Hey man, that looks real bad, how ‘bout I help get you over to first aid, huh? Buck, you stay close to our girl here, make sure she’s not concussed or something.”
“What? She didn’t hit her hea-“
Sam raised his eyebrows and dipped his head toward you. “Stay with her, I got this.”
Bucky’s arm seemed to tighten where it was still wrapped around you, and you shivered slightly. “Right, right. You cold, sweetheart? Want a hot chocolate? That’ll warm ya right up.”
“That sounds…nice actually, yeah.” You nodded against Bucky’s side where he held you up.
“I gotcha doll, c’mon.” He kept you drawn tight to him as he started across the rink, and as you let yourself be pulled along with his confident glides, you couldn’t help but think how right it felt to be tucked into his side.
Something suspicious was going on.
You’d gone on a handful of dates since the fateful skating incident, and it seemed like something unfortunate happened to your date on every one. You’d met up for coffee with one date and while you had the best peppermint mocha of your life, he had spluttered and choked after his first sip. “I think there’s salt in here,” he eyed the cup skeptically. When you’d met up with a match to walk and look at Christmas lights, a snowball had hit him directly on the back of the head. At first you’d chalked it up to a stray hit from a snowball fight nearby, but it kept happening as you kept walking. The guy that was supposed to meet you for a sleigh ride through the park didn’t even bother to come. What’s more was that after every date, a certain ex-assassin kept showing up. When you got back from your coffee date, there Bucky was, ready for a full mission report; laughing with you as you told him how frustrated your date had gotten that his drink never came out right, no matter how many times you asked for it to be remade. He had somehow fallen into step beside you after your match decided to call it after the sixteenth snowball; proclaiming he’d come to show Alpine the lights. Sure enough, the cat poked her little head out of his coat and purred when you petted behind her ears. When you were stood up for the sleigh ride, you almost weren’t surprised when Bucky Barnes came strolling along, blanket in one hand, coffee for you in the other. He made it so easy to swipe by the endless sea of faces in your phone, blank expressions and generic responses nothing compared to the look in his eye as he brushed a stray snowflake from your cheek. So easy, in fact, that you almost missed it when you saw it. You stared at the profile that popped up on your phone in disbelief, because it was Bucky. His handsome face smiled back at you from the screen, and he had even included the most adorable picture of him and Alpine, matching Santa hats perched on their heads. You scrolled further down his profile, and there, bolded letters made your heart drop.
“I’m looking for….”
Someone to kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve
There it was, confirmation that while these not-dates had you feelings tangled worse than a string of Christmas lights, he had just been being nice, or worse, practicing for when he took out a real date. You tried to push that thought out of your head. Tonight was New Year’s Eve, and you were sure Bucky hadn’t had any problems finding a date, in fact, there was probably a line a mile long for the chance to be with him. Now, you sighed as you faced the ballroom door and wondered why you’d bothered coming to Stark’s extravagant party anyway. You’d pushed it off as long as possible. It was nearly midnight now, and you’d already ignored several texts from Natasha wondering where you were. You squared your shoulders as you reached for the door when you felt a cool hand slip under yours.
You looked up at Bucky’s soft “Hey,” and then back down at the gold and black metal that encircled your wrist. He pulled his hand away quickly, rubbing at the back of his neck.
“I’ve been lookin’ for ya all night.” His gaze swept over you, taking you in, and you felt a slight flush creep up your neck. “You look— you look, wow…” He stuttered before something passed over his face and he straightened. “You look really great doll, like a million bucks.”
You felt your face grow even warmer. “Thanks, but not as good as the one in front of me.” You quipped, reaching up to straighten his bow tie. Your hand faltered and you patted his shoulder awkwardly when you realized what you’d done, but Bucky gave you a rare smile, blue eyes crinkled at the corners.
“So, uh,” you cleared your throat. “Someone you trying to impress with this get up, Barnes?”
He chuckled sheepishly. “As a matter of fact…yes.”
You felt like you’d been punched in the gut. “Oh well, that’s great Bucky. You should probably get back to her before midnight, huh?”
“Listen, doll I…wait what?” You had both spoken at the same time, but before you could speak again, a call from inside interrupted.
“One minute to midnight!”
“Buck, you should go. Don’t feel like you have to stay with me, okay? I’ll be fine.” You felt his gaze burning into the side of your head.
“Doll, what’re you…”
You fought through the burning sensation starting in your nose. “Look, I saw you on that site, Bucky, someone to kiss at midnight, yeah? Didn’t know Nat and Steve had gotten to you too.” You smiled ruefully.
Realization flickered in Bucky’s eyes. “Site? Oh, no, that’s not what…”
“Ten!” The countdown started behind you.
“Go find your girl, Barnes.”
“Eight!”
Bucky’s hands were in his hair, pulling in frustration. “I’m gonna kill Sam.”
“Six!”
“Sam? What does he have to do with…”
“Four!”
Mismatched hands came down on your shoulders, making your words stick in your throat. A frustrated groan left Bucky’s.
“Two!”
“It’s you, y/n. It’s always been you.”
“One!”
A burst of cheers sounded behind the door, but you couldn’t hear it over the words that still rang in your ears.
“It’s…me?”
He nodded. “You’re the only one I want, sweetheart. When you started goin’ on those dates I could hardly stand it, and Sam said he had a plan, and I knew it was dumb…”
You shook your head in disbelief. “But, you, the app…”
“I hate that damn app.” Bucky muttered darkly. “Sam thought we could match if nothing else worked.”
“If nothing else…Bucky,” a slow smile spread across your face. “Are you trying to tell me you’ve been sabotaging my dates?” He stared at you for a moment before starting to chuckle softly.
“Yeah, yeah, I guess I am, sweetheart.”
“I knew it!” You poked him indignantly in the chest.
“Oh you did, huh?” Bucky gathered your hand in his own.
“Uh-huh,” you giggled. “I think you’re slipping, Barnes. No one just randomly gets hit in the head sixteen times with stray snowballs.”
“I don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about, doll.”
“Mmhm.” You hummed. You untangled your hand from his just enough to grasp the lapels on his jacket, pulling him closer to you; and the usually stoic, immovable man leaned easily, like falling into you was the simplest thing in the world.
“So I heard you were looking for someone to kiss at midnight,” you breathed. “I know it’s a little late now…”
He interrupted with your name whispered across your lips.
“I want your midnights and every moment in between, if you’ll let me.”
You nodded as Bucky pressed his mouth to the rushed pulse in your neck, every beat a countdown until the moment his lips touched yours. And when they did, you could only thank your lucky stars for failed resolutions.