A Sign of Weakness
Паук sleeps for 30 minutes, maybe a little longer. He wakes feeling uncomfortable, never having slept in a bed before. He rubs his eyes and crawls up to the ceiling and falls back asleep.
He remembers every single one of them.
He remembers the wet feeling of blood on his hands, and the weapons used to kill his targets. He remembers feeling nothing. Not anger. Not remorse. Not sadness. Nothing.
He remembers how they would plead for help, beg for their lives, just to be ignored and torn apart.
"Please! You don't have to do this!"
"I'll do anything! I won't speak against HYDRA again!"
"Please! I'm sorry!"
Their voices surround Паук, threatening to drown him. It's so loud. So, so loud. All he wants is for it to stop. But it doesn't. It goes on and on for what feels like an eternity. The spider doesn't understand. Those people were bad. They were getting in HYDRA's way. He followed orders.
So why does it feel so wrong? Why do the voices threaten to crash into him and burn him at any moment? He just doesn't understand.
The avengers were in the middle of a mission debrief with Nick Fury when the alert sounded.
"Excuse the interruption, but there is an urgent situation in the guest room on the top floor." FRIDAY announced.
The room went silent. Fury raised an eyebrow and looked towards Natasha.
Tony cursed under his breath. "Yeah, okay. I'm on my way up."
"I'll come too." Bucky quickly stood up.
"What? Are you sure?" Tony asked.
"Yeah... I think I'll be able to help with the ki- the situation."
Tony nodded and they quickly exited the room. The elevator ride up was awkward, to say the least. Tony understood Barnes wasn't at fault for the deaths of his parents, but he didn't want to be best friends with the guy. Once upstairs, they ran to the kids room. Bucky practically slammed the door open. The boy was curled up into a ball on the ceiling. He was shaking and panting, unable to catch his breath.
"How do we get him down?" Tony asked frantically.
"We don't. We just need him awake and calm." Bucky answered.
"Kid? Please wake up. Whatever you're seeing isn't real." Bucky said. "I understand how it feels. But I promise it isn't real, you just need to wake up."
His breaths began to slow, but he was still asleep and shaking. Barnes continued to speak to the boy, his voice loud and steady. Finally, the boys eyes slowly opened. It was at this moment Tony noticed how small the kid looked. He was hugging himself, shivering and quietly crying. His wavy brown hair was disheveled, even knotted in some places. His brown eyes were glossy, and filled with something so tortured, so painful that it made Tony sick.
"I-Im sorry." The boy whispered. "Please don't hurt me."
"We would never hurt you, kid." Tony responded.
The kid simply shook his head. "Why wouldn't you? I disrupted you and made you come all the way up here."
"Whatever HYDRA told you about us, it isn't true.
We aren't going to hurt you." Bucky said.
"Do you need anything? Water? A snack?" Tony asked.
"No, sir. Please-" He gasps. "Please leave."
"Okay, if you need anything just ask Friday." Tony says, to no response.
The two men slowly leave the room, and Паук waits for them to board the elevator so he could crawl back onto the floor. He sits cross legged on the ground.
The room was silent, leaving the spider to his thoughts. He felt embarrassed that the Avengers had seen him so vulnerable, but he also was confused. Back home, he was always punished after nightmares, and rightfully so. Nightmares were a sign of weakness. He also wondered why they were so... Gentle with him. Like he was a child. He wasn't a child. He was a soldier.
Once Tony and Bucky had arrived back in the debriefing room, Fury was gone and everyone else was awaiting their arrival.
"What happened?" Natasha immediately asked.
"He was having a nightmare. Crawled up the ceiling." Bucky answered, flopping down in the chair next to Steve.
Tony took a seat. "I think we need to have a conversation with him. He needs help."
"I agree. Even if he's not programmed like I am, some of the things they tell you... Are hard to get away from." Bucky stated, looking at Steve.
The rest of the team nodded in agreement.