Chapter 15
Your mind can’t seem to latch on to any singular thought. Instead they all run together in a way that makes you wish you couldn’t think at all. You’re to aware of what you’ve done. You can feel the blood, his blood, all over you. His words are bouncing off the walls in your mind. Your legs are unstable and everything feels like its too much.
You don’t get much of a say as your unsteady legs buckle under you, forcing you to your knees. You shake your head left to right as you feel the bile rise in your throat. Puking is the last thing you want to do, and the fear of vomiting makes tears flow down your face.
It's more than that fear. It’s everything that Wilson said before you blew his brains out. He was right, you weren’t ever a Maximoff. Just some fragile kid from a broken home, that wanted to prove themselves no matter what the cost. You couldn’t even be upset at the family, they hadn’t forced you into this lifestyle. This is simply the path you chose to feel like one of them.
You hear footsteps rapidly approaching behind you, you try to find the energy to get to your feet, but fail.
“ Y/n,” her voice makes you feel sick.
You can’t fight it anymore as the contents of your stomach begin to spill out. Wanda is by your side instantly. On of her hands moves your hair out of the way, while the other rubs soothing circles on your back.
Once it was over your breathing is heavy. Your chest heaves up and down, while your hands rest on your thighs.
“Was it true?” is the first thing you say to her.
“Y/n-" you can tell she was trying to reason with you with, to have you drop this for now.
You put distance between the two of you, turning to see her face, “Did you have my mother killed?”
Wanda takes in a large breath, “She was abusing you, every moment she had you. Emotionally torturing you with the death of your brother and physically putting her hands on you. That day when you came over and I patched you up, Pietro told us everything that he knew she did to you. We all agreed, that we wouldn’t let her near you again.”
You don’t know why you felt so bitter about it, but you did, “Killing her was your only option?”
Wanda shakes her head, “No, it wasn’t. We were going to just keep you away from her, but Pietro said the next few days she came to the school looking for you. She threatened him, and followed him to our house, that’s when Papa decided to put an end to it.”
“And my father?”
The woman sighs, “Once we told him who we were, he thought it was best for him to not be involved. He cared for you and loved you tremendously, but he was scared of our family.”
At the end of the day your mother was the cause of an abundance of your trauma and you couldn’t blame your father for not wanting to be involved in a crime syndicate. However, your anger was pointed at the Maximoff’s for keeping this from you for so long.
“Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?”
Wanda’s eyes meet yours desperately, “When you were younger, we thought it was inappropriate to share that with you. You were different back then and we didn’t know how you would react. When I left, I figured that eventually they would tell you. When I got back and they hadn’t I was upset. I wanted to tell you, but there’s been so much going on, Y/n believe me. When you asked in car, and I told you to trust me, I was trying to think of the right time. I just- I’m sorry."
As much as you want to be mad at her you can’t. She’s right, Wanda had been gone for over 5 years, how could she have known that they hadn’t told you. As soon as she came back there was basically a turf war going on.
“ I wasn’t supposed to shoot him,” your eyes are blank as they look into hers.
Wanda’s eyes soften, “I know little krolik.”
You shake your head, “But he brought up Lucas and I- he dared me to, so I did. It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t my fault.”
You were spiraling quickly. Though you were covered in blood and had just thrown up, Wanda wasted no time wrapping her arms around you.
“I know baby,” she squeezes you tight.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to kill him,” you sob into the woman.
She scoops you up into her arms, “We’re going home.”
“But, what about-”
Wanda silences you, “Don’t worry about it. They will handle everything else ok, just be here with me.”
You calm for a moment before you remember that Natasha got shot because of your recklessness. You start apologizing again, “I’m sorry, Natasha got hurt because I wasn’t thinking enough. I was being stupid, I should have done better. I should’ve-”
“She’s going to be fine, malyshka. She's been through worse,” Wanda gets you into the car and begins driving home.
By the time you get home, you’ve fallen asleep. Before Wanda gets out of the car she gets a phone call from her wife.
“How is she ?” Are the first words out of Natasha’s mouth.
Wanda has to stop herself from crying as she looks at your current state, “She’s not well, I’m doing my best, but I’m scared.”
“You took her home?”
Wanda nods though the woman can’t see her, “ We just pulled up. She fell asleep on the way, but she might wake up when I try to clean her off. She was throwing up when I found her. She’s worried about you, I’m worried about you.”
Natasha’s voice takes a softer tone, “I’m ok detka. The bullet is out, my arm is patched.”
“Papa and Pietro?”
“We called in Bucky, we’re trying to get a room set up at your parents house that will be suited for your father to do the rest of his recovery there. Pietro, he’s shaken up, worried about you and Y/n.”
Wanda takes in the information, “Natalia, I know I brought you out here to be apart of this with me, but I don’t know if I want this lifestyle anymore.”
As Wanda looks at you, she can see the cons of this life outweighing the pros. You’d already had a rough life before the Maximoff’s took you in, and now they’ve put you in this position where things seem to be just as bad if not worse.
Natasha takes a pause, “We’ll talk about this more when I get home and when Y/n is feeling better ok? I don’t want to make any decisions without her involvement.”
Wanda agrees, “You’re right, hurry back to me moya lyubov.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can, I love you.”
“I love you."
Wanda sighs as she glances at you in the passenger seat. For a moment, her head falls into her hands. She wants to breakdown, but she holds it all in. With another deep breath she gets out of the car and carries you up to the room.
Wanda goes to lay you on her bed, but you cling to her.
“Y/n, baby it’s ok,” Wanda attempts to coo you.
“The sheets,” you mumble tiredly against her.
Wanda has tears in her eyes as she smiles softly, “ I don’t care about the sheets.”
You cling to the woman tighter in protest, and she doesn’t want to fight with you. Instead she carries you to the bathroom and sits you on the counter. You lean your back against the wall eyes barely open, but still able to see the woman running water for a shower.
Wanda turns back to you her hands tremble a bit as the grip the end of your blood and vomit covered shirt.
“Sorry, it’s gross,” you mumble.
She shakes her head,” I don’t care. Is it ok if I take this off of you?”
Your eyes open wider to meet hers properly, nodding slowly.
When she removes the shirt, her eyes linger on the scar on your abdomen from the day you left home. Her finger couldn’t help but to glide over the rigged skin.
“It needed a stitch back then, but I didn't want to see you in anymore pain. It probably wouldn't have scarred if I did,” Wanda reveals absent-mindedly.
“It’s my favorite scar, I’m glad I have it,” you find her eyes as you speak.
“Why?”
You look away from her, feeling shy for a moment, “ I remember you letting me rest my head on your shoulder and promising that the family would protect me."
Wanda frowns, “I’m sorry, we didn’t protect you enough.”
You take her hand, “I’m sorry I’m so hard to protect.”
“No, don't do that Y/n. We lied to you, I lied to you for years. Telling you truth wasn’t some Olympic sized task. It’s the least we could've done and it's what you deserved. Our- my carelessness lead you down this unnecessary path of pain, and I’m sorry. I should've done better,” you listen as Wanda berates herself unable to look you in the eyes.
“You weren't here, Wanda.”
“I should’ve been.”
You want to do something to give her comfort but you feel disgusting in your current state. Your eyes dart over to the shower and it's as if to remember why you were in this position to begin with. Wanda sees your movements and takes a small step back from you.
“Do you still need help?”
You think for a long moment, hesitation heavy in the air. Part of you wants to push her away now that you have your bearings a bit more. However a larger part of you wants the woman to help you in the shower
“Yes,” it’s breathy as it leaves your mouth.
Your hands guide hers to the button on your pants. She pulls them down gently. Wanda hesitates at the sight of your underwear. You attempt to hop off of the counter, Wanda’s hands find your hips to better guide you.
It's two swift motions as you remove your underwear. You stand before the redhead bare for the first time in this way. You stare at her waiting for something to happen. She sense the expectancy in your gaze and begins undressing.
Once the last of her clothing hits the floor she takes your hand and leads you to the shower. You enter first and she goes in after. The water against your skin feels good. It cascades from your face down your body washing away the gunk in the process.
Wanda doesn’t make a sound as she begins to wash your body. Her hands light and delicate against your skin. The only objective being getting you clean. Once you’re clean she spins you around and places a kiss on your forehead.
“I don't know how I feel,” you tell her honestly.
She takes a step back from you. You’re quick to grab her wrist and pull her back into you, “I just know that I want you close.”
She reached behind you to turn off the shower. “As long as you want me close, I won’t ever leave you again.”
You rest your head on her chest, her arms enclose around you once again. The sound of her heart beating calms you deeply. You could fall asleep right there.
“Let’s finish getting ready and then we can get in bed,” Wanda rambles against your head.
You nod against her and after a deep breath you both exit the shower. Once you’re dry and dressed for bed, you finally brush your teeth. You climb into the bed, but you’re wide awake.
Peace nowhere to be found as a million questions race through your head.
“I didn’t mean-"
“He deserved it, Y/n. He tried to kill papa, he had you beaten, he shot Natasha, he wasn’t a good man,” Wanda reassures you.
You shake your head, knees pulling closer to your chest, “Lucas is dead because of me.”
“That’s not true lisichka.”
Your eyes are quick to dart over to Natasha but you don’t move. Your gaze falls to her injured arm, and it’s yet another injury due to your carelessness.
“ I sent you in there and-”
“And I’m fine because you saved me. In fact you saved everyone in that room tonight,” Natasha doesn’t hesitate to crouch down beside the bed.
You frown, “No matter how many people I save, I can never go back and save Lucas.”
Natasha looks at Wanda for some kind of insight into who Lucas is to you, what he means to you.
“Lucas was my older brother, he would still be here if I hadn’t been so careless.”
Wanda disputes this, “You were a child, Y/n. Your parents should’ve been watching you.”
“I have this scar on the back of my head from where skull hit the concrete. A constant reminder that he’s not here and I am.”
Natasha takes one of your hands in hers, “ To me, it sounds like you went through something really traumatic as a child. Not just losing your brother, but also almost dying in the process. Going through that without the support of your parents makes it even harder to come to terms with.”
“Natasha’s right, Y/n. You’re a victim in all of this, and going through this alone was never fair to you. You didn't kill your brother, neglect did,” Wanda takes your free hand.
“My mom never stopped blaming me.”
“She should’ve never started. To abuse one child after the loss of another is a cruelty that only a monster is capable of Y/n,” Natasha’s words are a statement.
“But did she deserve to die?” You turn your attention to Wanda.
“How many times did she hit you? How many times did she starve you? How many times did she verbally abuse you? How many scars do you have because of her?” Natasha draws your attention back to her.
“Maybe she didn’t deserve to die, but she didn’t deserve to have that power of you. She didn’t deserve to torment you for the rest of your life. You couldn’t go out without looking over your shoulder, you flinched at every touch, and she had you thinking you were a mistake or a burden. You were just a child,” Wanda’s voice trembles as she speaks.
Natasha takes over again, “A mother doesn’t treat a child in the way that she treated you. That woman barely viewed you as her child, she doesn’t deserve your sympathy even in death.”
Your body begins to shake as the tears cascade down your face. You feel two sets of arms enclose you as you cry. They were right about your mother, she was an awful person. The more you thought about it the harder it was to think about anything good about her. After your brother died, you had no kind memories of your mother left. She was cruel, ruthless, and unforgiving.
After all these years, you never missed her. You hardly thought about her and when you did it was against your will. Her memory has haunted and tortured you since she has been out of your life.
“We have you, Y/n. For as long as you want us to, “ Natasha is gentle as she wipes away your fallen tears.
“We’re going to have to talk about this, with everyone,” you attempt regain your composure .
“We will be by your side, no matter what,” Wanda insists.
“Not just about my mom, but about Kingpin.”
Natasha nods, “Yes, but only when you’re ready. There’s no rush for these talks or conversations. With Dragos awake now, this problem isn’t falling straight onto your shoulders anymore.”
“Our main priority is you. Y/n, for once in our lives I think it’s time that the family business takes a backseat” Wanda adds on.
The idea plays in your mind briefly. A life where the most important thing wasn’t this job. No more missions, no more hacking, and no more danger. The thought would’ve bored you before, but now with Natasha and Wanda by your side, it seemed more desirable.
You nod, “Ok.”
“We love you lisichka,” Natasha gently kisses your forehead.
Wanda follows suit, “More than anything.”
The small smile plays on your lips, “I love you too, the both of you.”
It’s a brief moment as you swiftly place your lips on Wanda’s followed by Natasha’s, before quick passing out from the exhaustion of the day.
“I know that look detka. Everything is going to be alright, I promise,” Natasha says, looking at her wife’s worried expression.
“She deserves better Natasha, I have to do better,” Wanda keeps her own tears at bay.
“You aren't in this alone Wanda. I’m here, lean on me, together we can build something that Y/n truly deserves.”
Natasha interlocks her fingers with Wanda’s, “I love you.”
Wanda kisses the back of her wife’s hand, “I love you too.”