Chapter 8
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“Why did Heimdall gift us smoked fish?” Loki asked, tearing off a piece of the fish and putting it in his mouth before licking his fingers, “He doesn’t have a fishing boat as well as chickens does he?”
Thor chuckled lightly, touching his head to Loki’s as he reached to take some fish himself, “He has an admirer, who owns a fishing boat.”
“They do not know he has no interest in such things?”
“He has told her,” Thor replied, “But she continues to seek his favour,” he picked another piece of fish, “With gifts of smoked herring.”
Loki laughed softly.
An impossibly welcome laugh.
The first laugh Thor had heard in two days.
He had been incredibly worried. He still was incredibly worried.
They’d gone outside for a short walk, and at the time Thor had been paying more attention to Loki’s physical condition than his mind, afraid that this was more than his body was ready for.
It had been, given the pain and exhaustion that followed, but it wasn’t Loki’s body that broke as they strayed from home.
Loki had seen Thanos on the path to Heimdall’s home, and saw a great ship descending through the clear sky above them.
Thor had seen them too, and for a moment was gripped with an abject terror that Loki’s tormentor had returned, and he almost brought lightning to strike the enemy down.
But then he saw a flicker in the figure towering before them, approaching slowly. Something imperfect with an edge of green light where it faltered.
An illusion.
Loki’s panicking, terrified and traumatised mind was creating illusions now his magic was growing stronger.
In time, Thor had been able to show Loki that they were illusions, tossing rocks through them and slicing through the image of Thanos with his hand, eventually managing to convince Loki to break the illusions, but not in time to stop the fractures in his mind from opening back up.
He’d been tired and subdued over the two days that followed. Responsive and receptive to Thor’s attempts to comfort him, but always just a bit removed from himself.
This morning was the first time Thor felt he fully had Loki back since then, and he intended to do everything he could to ensure Loki’s mind stayed here, with him, all day.
They’d rethink how to tackle Loki’s fear of leaving the house. When Loki was ready.
And when Thor was ready.
It had been terrifying to see Loki like that, and heartbreaking to feel that he wasn’t fully with Thor anymore. That his mind was astray and Thor didn’t know how to bring it back.
But now he was back. He was here again, and Thor was happy.
Loki lifted a piece of fish to his lips, an amused and sarcastic smile on his lips, “Surely this is the most potent of all the courtship devices.”
“Ought I be bringing you smoked fish then?”
“Are you courting me, Thor?” Loki smirked slightly, “I think we may be beyond the courting stage.”
“We never had a courting stage,” Thor wrapped his arms more tightly around Loki and settled back against the pile of pillows behind him, “A consequence, I suppose, of having known each other almost our entire lives.”
“I feel terribly deprived.”
“Would you like me to court you?”
“Absolutely not,” Loki tilted his head back against Thor’s shoulder, “I’ve seen you attempt to court. It’s embarrassing.”
Thor breathed a laugh, idly brushing his hand up and down Loki’s side. There was muscle there now. Not much, but it was starting to build. His strength gradually returning.
“I never loved anyone else as I do you,” Thor murmured against Loki’s hair, breathing in the scent of his apple conditioner and the sage oil he used to smooth it.
“You know I wouldn’t mind if you had.”
“I know, but the fact remains that I never have,” Thor replied, “I have loved you for as long as I’ve known you. As a brother, a friend, a lover, the other half of my very being without whom I cannot live.”
A sharp pang of echoing grief stabbed at him with those words, a memory of life without Loki, and he quickly continued more lightly, “Even if at times I have been infuriated with you for turning me into a frog or dying my hair red, and even if I have not always demonstrated my love as I should.”
“You were infinitely better at demonstrating it that I was at showing you mine,” Loki replied softly, joining their hands, “I don’t know how. I never have.”
“Stabbing was an interesting choice.”
“Did it work?”
Thor kissed the side of his head gently, smiling against his hair, “In its own way.”
For a moment they were silent. A calm contentment, a relief after the days with Loki’s mind so far adrift.
Then Loki spoke, his words so unexpected, Thor took several seconds just to comprehend them.
“I didn’t stab Thanos,” he said with no hint of any emotion in his voice despite the sudden tension in his body, “I cleaved his vile head from his shoulders with a blade I forged with my magic. He had just enough time to look afraid. To fear me. Then he was dead. Stabbing would have been too slow and he had to die first. Immediately. And he did. He was dead so quickly.”
A breath escaped his lips, shaking unsteadily.
“He’s still dead,” he whispered, bringing his knees to his chest, his thighs touching Thor’s arms where they wrapped around his torso, “Him and all his damned followers.”
“He’s still dead,” Thor repeated, squeezing his hand, “You are safe from him. From everything. I will protect you, brother.”
He shut his eye and rested his head against Loki’s, “All will be well.”
It would be.
Thor would ensure it was.
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“Is this clement weather your doing?” Loki asked with a small, amused, smile playing on his lips as he threw a pointed glance towards the horizon where, beyond New Asgard, rain was falling heavily.
Thor beamed happily at him, the sun overhead as bright and brilliant as his smile, “I haven’t the least idea what you’re talking about, Loki.”
Loki laughed softly, his gaze briefly lingering on the distance and growing momentarily anxious before he quickly looked away, back at the gold jug he’d been filling with soil.
They were gardening. Sort of. They were planting some bulbs Bruce had given them from his garden in various plant pot-like objects gifted to them by Bruce and Heimdall, and from Loki’s hidden caches.
What flowers would grow, if any, they didn’t know, but this was something active they could do outside, right beside the house. It worked Loki’s muscles slightly and allowed an activity that required focus while he faced the fear of leaving the four walls within which he felt safe, all the time with one of those walls right beside him.
Thor waited as Loki made a small hole in the soil, then placed the next bulb in it, smiling happily as he and Loki dropped handfuls of soil on top.
“This one had best not have a yellow flower,” Loki said, patting down the soil and sitting back as Thor poured water on top, “That would be a poor fit for a gold pot.”
“I think anything but the most expensive and richest red flower may be a poor fit for a pot made of solid gold,” Thor carefully wiped soil from the metal, “Our home will start to look more like a palace with the additions from your pocket dimensions.”
Not just ornate and precious metal pots, but cushions with pure silk covers and a number of beautifully soft blankets made of finely woven Asgardian wool.
It wasn’t very warm despite the sun, and Loki wore one such blanket around his shoulders, the gold thread woven around the edge catching the glow of the late afternoon sun.
Thor watched as he started to place handfuls of soil into the next of their pots - a terracotta one with a decorative design of leaves that Heimdall gave them. Despite the lingering pain and weakness, Loki was starting to look less ashen and his movements were stronger.
Everything about him was getting slowly stronger.
The fond smile that lingered in his features as he watched Loki fell away into a frown of concern as he saw him flinch suddenly, looking sharply back up to the horizon.
So Thor spoke, drawing Loki’s mind and his gaze back to the present reality. Just speaking idly of their plants, and of Bruce’s garden.
Loki’s mind had been uneasy when they first left the house but the task had helped distract him. Now, however, it was clear his ability to keep his imagination from conjuring torments was wavering.
Seeing Loki look nervously out to the horizon once again, as he reached to start filling the next pot with soil, Thor clasped the side of his neck and tilted his gaze away from the distance.
“Let’s go back inside, brother,” he said, touching their foreheads together and filling Loki’s field of view with himself, “The bulbs will keep. We can finish another day.”
A shudder ran through Loki’s body and he nodded, allowing Thor to help him to his feet.
Loki was leaning tiredly against him, huddled in his blanket and his body pressed to Thor’s, as they walked back to the front door. Not a long walk, but it was a lot for Loki, and Thor was prepared for the moment when Loki’s legs buckled.
He caught him easily and lifted him into his arms to carry him the rest of the way without a word passing between them.
Loki didn’t mind being carried by Thor, and never had. He would object and rail against it when they’d been in public back on Asgard, but alone he would laugh as Thor easily lifted him into his arms, or hug himself closely against his larger frame.
Now, even more, he was happy to be taken into Thor’s arms so he could press his head to his shoulder and fend off his dark thoughts, knowing he was truly safe.
Thor settled on the couch, helping Loki to adjust himself to a comfortable position with his head pillowed on Thor’s thighs, his blanket over his body and Thor’s fingers in his hair.
“How do you feel?” Thor asked, Loki’s skin colder than usual from the time outside.
Loki hummed quietly in lieu of an answer, and raised one hand, casting a quick spell to clean the soil from their clothes and skin.
“We could’ve washed,” Thor smirked, “You should be saving your energy to put into healing.”
After a long moment of silence, Loki’s hand slipped beneath Thor’s thigh and he curled his knees to his chest, “I can’t remember what it feels like to be without pain.”
“It’s rather pleasant. I recommend it,” Thor said with a gentle playfulness.
A soft laugh escaped Loki’s lips, “Perhaps I’ll try it some time.”
“Soon, I hope,” Thor bent to kiss his temple lightly, “Are you warm enough?”
“Define enough.”
Thor smirked and reached over to grab the fur draped over the back of the couch and lay it on Loki as well, smiling fondly as he tugged it tight around his shoulders.
Warm made Loki feel safe. It always had, and the layers of separation from the world outside could only help.
“How long will it take for the flowers to grow?”
“Bruce said the first shoots should appear in around two or three weeks.”
The hand resting on top of Thor’s thigh began to trace small patterns over his jeans, “Do plants in pots qualify as a garden?”
“I think so. Were there not plants in pots at the entrances and exits to mother’s garden?”
“And also in the hallways and on tables within the palace.”
“But those potted plants were not outside,” Thor argued with a small and fond smile.
“So any plant outside is a garden?”
“Provided it was put there intentionally.”
“I’ll accept that logic,” Loki said softly, smiling as Thor took a lock of his hair and began to braid it, “We should plant a tree.”
“What kind of tree?”
“Birch. I like the colour of the leaves.”
“Very well. We shall plant a birch tree,” Thor watched his fingers as he wove the raven hair with practised ease, “Perhaps it could form the centre of our garden. With beds of flowers and herbs around.”
“That sounds nice.”
“I don’t know how to achieve it, but we can read how.”
“I suppose it’s not as simple as digging some holes and putting the plants in.”
“It seems that it should be, but all I have read or seen about gardening implies that it is not.”
Loki hummed softly, “We will need to teach ourselves. But another day.”
“I’m hungry after our gardening endeavours. Shall we cook now or have something already prepared?” Thor asked after a silence as he finished the braid, accepting the gold bead Loki conjured from somewhere.
“Cook. I want to try making crepes again.”
A grin spread over Thor’s features.
He had thoroughly enjoyed cooking those, and attempting to flip them. Brunnhilde had added a video of her doing so to the instructions, and Thor was convinced he could flip his higher than her.
“An excellent suggestion,” he bent to kiss Loki as he finished tying the braid, “What do you want in yours?”
“Lemon juice and sugar.”
Thor chuckled, “How unexpected.”
Loki hit him lightly on the leg, “Well, how about you? Shall I guess? Would it be cheese?”
“I did all that arduous labour carrying pots and soil around. I must recover my strength.”
“And what about green stuff?”
“Where is your green stuff?”
“Lemons are the green stuff.”
“Lemons are not green, Loki,” Thor leaned his head back, “We have some spinach. I could add that with the cheese if you’re so concerned about my lack of vegetables.”
“Acceptable.”
“I’m so glad you approve,” Thor teased, idly ruffling his hair, “Are you ready now, or would you like to wait a little longer?”
“I’m ready now.”
Thor bent and kissed Loki softly before pressing a hand to his back to help him sit up.
The contact between them was gone for just a moment after. Barely a second, as Thor stood up to help Loki to his feet, but in that second a ring of light suddenly appeared where Loki sat, and he had just enough time to look terrified before he vanished through it.
“NO!” Thor cried out, uselessly scrabbling at the cushions where Loki had just been sitting.
But Loki wasn’t there and there was no way of getting him back like that.
Thor’s mind caught up to him through the fog of panic, working out the only course of action that could possibly work.
The tesseract.
Thor knew who had taken Loki and knew where this man was.
The tesseract could get him there.
He sprinted to the bedroom and grabbed the tesseract from where they’d left it in the bedside table, immediately, using it to go to the house that he had been directed to years before. Before Ragnarok. The last time that damned wizard took Loki.
Electricity was already crackling at his fingertips as he arrived and stormed into the building, smashing the door down as fear-fuelled rage sparked through his veins.
The wizard was before him.
He looked surprised, maybe slightly afraid, but Thor didn’t give a damn for his emotions, for anything he felt. He cared about one thing and only one thing.
“Where is Loki?!” Thor demanded, his voice rumbling like thunder around them, and when no response immediately came, “WHERE IS HE?!”
Lightning prickled through the room, passing between every metal object surrounding them, igniting the air, sparking a blackout in the building.
A moment later, with a disorientation Thor hated, they were in another room with light. Daylight.
Thor took a step closer to the wizard, “Where is Loki?”
“Calm down before you blackout the whole east coast.”
“Return Loki to me and I will be calm.”
The room and his place shifted again before Thor could get close to the wizard.
“Loki is a threat to this planet. Why is he here at all?”
“Loki is not a threat to this realm or any other. He is here because New Asgard is his home. I am his home.”
“You agreed with my assessment of him as a threat last time we spoke.”
“I was wrong.”
“Explain.”
Thor was suddenly in a chair, the disorientation only causing his anger to flare and grow.
He drew a slow breath, forcing his rage down.
It must have been Loki’s use of magic or his recovery of that power that allowed the wizard to discover his presence on Earth, and that at least was good. It meant Loki was stronger than he had been when he first arrived. Wherever the wizard had sent him, he would be alright.
That didn’t stop him from wanting to tear the limbs from the human before him though.
Killing the wizard, and Thor was sure a good lightning strike would do it, would not return Loki to him. He needed to convince him of Loki’s innocence.
“Loki was controlled by another when he attacked this realm before,” Thor said firmly, “I did not know that until recently. When you and I spoke before, I was blinded by anger and did not see the truth.”
“Controlled by who?”
“A titan, using the same sceptre Loki wielded when here. Loki did not act of his own accord and that mind control has long since broken. He is not a danger to this or any realm.”
“A titan?” Strange narrowed his eyes, “Thanos?”
“You know him?”
“I know of him. The mad titan. What business does Thanos have on Earth?”
“He sought the tesseract. But he is now dead, so his plans no longer matter. He and all who followed him are dead, by Loki’s hand.”
“You’re certain?”
“I’ve seen his head,” Thor glared back, “Loki was forced to attack this realm against his will, and the one responsible is dead. I say again, Loki is no threat, so return him to me.”
Strange looked like he might be about to say something more, so Thor continued immediately.
“Return him to me and then leave us in peace. Do not dare to harm or steal away Loki again, or it will be seen as an act of war against New Asgard and we will respond accordingly. Is that clear?”
“You’d start a war to protect Loki?”
“I do not covet war, and would sooner live in peace, but to protect Loki and give him the safety and comfort he deserves I would war with all the realms and every being within them.”
Strange was silent for a moment, watching Thor with a look of consideration that irritated him.
“You vouch for him? That he won’t attack the Earth, or any city or person on it? You, Thor Odinson, King of Asgard, take responsibility for his actions and guarantee he won’t threaten the Earth or its people?”
“I do.”
“I will be monitoring him.”
“Do as you must but do not enter our home or disturb our life,” Thor replied, “Understand me, wizard, if you dare do anything to intrude on us or harm Loki, I will retaliate and I will not be merciful.”
Dr Strange was silent for a moment, watching Thor as if calculating whether or not to trust the words.
Then he nodded curtly, “Loki is back at your home. He broke free from my portal almost immediately. It seems his magic has advanced since last he was here.”
Thor bothered with no more words.
He barely heard the last of those the wizard spoke, focusing on using the tesseract to take himself home.
Loki was there. He was there and almost before Thor had consciously registered that he was there, they were holding each other. A desperate embrace that they only tightened as both sank to their knees, although Thor didn’t know who dropped first.
The sleeve of his t-shirt was damp with Loki’s tears before Thor managed to find any voice at all through his own frantic sobbing.
“I thought I’d lost you,” Thor breathed, hugging him desperately, pressing his face against Loki’s shoulder, “I thought he'd taken you and I wouldn’t know how to get you back. I thought you were gone. I-I can’t lose you, Loki. I can’t.”
“You haven’t,” Loki’s trembling hand cupped the back of his head, his body shaking in Thor’s hold, but comforting Thor even as he shook and cried from his own fear, “You won’t. I can break out of his spells, I understand them now. I won’t be taken from you.”
“I can’t lose you,” Thor repeated, his tears soaking into the fabric of Loki’s clothes and wetting his own cheek, “You are my life Loki. You are everything to me. I cannot lose you.”
“You won’t, Thor,” Loki whispered, kissing the side of his head desperately, “You won’t. I will never let anyone take me from you, and I will never leave. You’re all I have, all I need, and all I want.”
Thor only gripped him tighter, his fingers curled in the fabric of his loose sweater, his breaths sharp and hoarse with emotion.
After a time, the terror and grief at having his heart and soul once again torn from him ebbed away to leave only exhaustion and relief in its place.
Drained and unwilling to move from this place for fear he’d have to loosen his hold, Thor gently lay them down on the floor, holding Loki close against him.
As he found his voice again, in the comforting certainty that Loki hadn’t been taken and was lying safely in his arms with his head on his chest, Thor spoke softly, his fingers gently slipping through the raven hair that tumbled around him.
“We were supposed to be making crepes.”
He felt Loki’s soft, tired laugh, “We were.”
“We had ought to do so.”
“Agreed.”
Neither of them moved.
“Thor?” Loki murmured softly after a long pause.
“Yes, my heart?”
He felt Loki smile at the affectionate name.
“Heimdall said you blacked out Greenwich Village.”
“Did I?” Thor let a small smirk fall over his features as he reached out to tug the blanket from the couch to drape over them, “Then the residents can thank me for a night free of light pollution.”
“And their beloved Internet.”
“They can blame the wizard for that,” Thor shut his eye as he embraced Loki more tightly, “He knows that should he ever attempt to take you again, I shall do far worse.”
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