Chapter 3
My love mine all mine - Mitski
“nothing in this world belongs to me, but my love, mine all mine.”
Oh so that was what Loki was talking about, you started feeling uneasy, almost as if your legs couldn’t support the weight of your body, it wasn’t about Thor, it wasn’t like you hated the idea or that you felt repulsion at the thought of being his queen, its just it… wasn’t your choice, it was not you moving the strings of your life, Odin was deciding for you, and you couldn’t do anything about it. You tried really hard to fight the tears in your eyes and maintained composure while Odin kept talking to you.
“I have been thinking about it, and I have come to the conclusion that you are the best fit for my son, and you will rule together when my reign ends.” he said while lifting Gungnir, his spear, in his left hand. He tapped it in the floor twice and it made two deafening sounds, and proceeded, “You are now betrothed to Thor, son of Odin, the God of Thunder, prince of Asgard.” he said before seating down in his throne again.
You froze there, you weren’t even aware of time passing, you just stood without saying anything. Could you say anything? was it worth saying something? What if Odin got mad and exiled you too, as he did with your father? Millions of thoughts passed trough your mind, and they just… stared, like if they were waiting for an answer, like they even cared of how you felt about it. And Loki… he could not even look at you, at some point his gaze stopped being glued to the ground and now it was glued to the door, as if staring it hard enough would teleport him out of that hall; and you felt the same.
You didn’t feel Odin’s decision was nearly right, you didn’t hate Thor, no, you loved him, he was there since you arrived in Asgard, and you were sure he would make a fine and loving husband, but it was simply not what you had envisioned, not like that, not with him at least.
Thor seemed happy, but you knew it was just him pretending for the sake of his crown, you knew who had his heart, he had talked to you and only you about it a million times. Sif is the one he loves, Sif is the one fit for him, both of them warriors, truly a formidable couple. But of course Odin just did what he wanted to do, in the cruel statement that Sif was too “manly for a queen”, as always, choosing the fate of everyone around him.
You couldn’t do it, you had to say something, you had to try and stop it, for the sake of everyone. “Allfather, this is truly a blessing, but-“ Odin didn’t let you finish. “It is decided.” he said looking at your eyes.
You realized then there was nothing to do. “This is a blessing, thank you allfather.” was all you said, you should have said more, maybe fake a little bit of excitement, but you weren’t sure how much time you could fight back your tears.
“Well, the meeting has finished then, this matter is out of discussion until the coronation day.” said the old man. As soon as Odin finished talking, Loki was the first one to get out of the hall; you followed him with your eyes, he seemed distressed, should you go after him? No, it would look bad now that you are betrothed. You stood there for a minute thinking about your next move.
Before you could move a muscle, a hand landed on your shoulder; it was Thor. Honestly you weren’t mad at him, you knew he had no say in all of that, so you just gave him a knowing look. “Come walk with me for a little bit” said the blonde man, taking your hand delicately.
You walked in silence until you reached a garden in the proximities of the castle, Thor guided you to a bench where you both sat. You didn’t know if you should talk first, you weren’t even sure what you would say.
“Look, don’t get me wrong, you are a beautiful lady, you are kind and always sticked by my side even when I was immature, we have grown together, and really it hurts me things have gotten out of hand like this and I don’t really know what to do, he says Im the prince, Im the next king but what power do I really have? He keeps pulling his strings and I cant bear it…” Thor was visibly getting more and more anxious as he talked. You put your hand in his and took a deep breath to calm yourself or you would have ended up just as anxious as him.
“Thor, breathe, calm yourself. I understand what you are feeling and I want you to know Im not mad nor hurt about this. I know you had no say, I know you are as uncomfortable with Odin’s decision as I am.” You said looking in his blue eyes, and he just stared back. “For me there’s no other choice than to obey allfather. Im sorry if I cant help in any other way Im just so… scared, Im scared he will send me away.” you said fighting the urge to cry.
Thor kept holding your hands for a while, lost in thought. “I’m going to talk to Frigga. She has far more power in making Odin understand things.” said Thor with a glimpse of hope in his tone.
“Well, Frigga is a good mother, I don’t think she would accept his son suffering for a crown.” you said with a weak smile.
You both stayed in the garden in silence for a few minutes, you shared hugs. Those who saw you must have thought you were a nice couple celebrating their betrothal. But no, you were just contemplating in the company of the other, the fate that was imposed in both of you, unaware of who was watching, unaware Loki was watching.