Chapter 10
Soon it was evening. Loki was ordered to help out in the kitchen again. He ate alone after the rest of the crew was done. Again the Captain watched him clean the table and came to him as he was washing the plates. It was like a dejavue.
"What are you doing here..again..?" Loki asked, knowing he was behind him. "I just wanted to remind you of my earlyer offer." he whispered into lokis ear from behind. "I dont want to .. sleep with you .." "You dont have to, but I think you would like a warm place to sleep, isnt it right? I wouldnt want my pretty boy sleeping in the kitchen or.. the 'dungeon', how i call it"
Loki was now tense. "you could sleep next to me. I wont touch you.. If you dont want it at least. I am a good man, okay? Just because I am a Pirate, doesnt mean I am hurting people that dont deserve it." Loki hesitated before asking his question. ".. do.. I.. deserve it?" he swallows down hard "Do you think.. you deserve it? Do you think.. you deserve pain?" "I-" he hesitated again. "I.. dont want pain.." "I asked if you think, you deserve pain. Not if you want it." "no-" his body tensed and buckeld up in pain that shoot trough his body. Tears assembled in his eyes from that but he didnt let out one sound. just a gasp for air after the pain subsided.
"So ... that was a lie? You think you actually deserve pain?" Loki remained silent. The Captain grabed Lokis jaw and turned his face to him, even if loki had to turn around completely for that. "why do you think that?" silence. "I am warning you. Tell me now, why you think that you deserve pain." "Im a sinner." He told him honestly, blinking away the tears.
Anthony was taken of guard by that. "What do you mean with that? Is it because you swore your loyalty to pirates?" he then asked a little annoyed. "no..." loki breathed out. "its worse..." "worse? stop toying around loki. Just tell me." he shook his head as much as he could because of the other mans tight grip around his jaw.
The Captain grew angry and barely could hold himself back from giving him a slap. "Fine. You wont talk? sleep in the kitchen. I dont care. If you want Something you will first tell me, why you think you deserve pain and why you are a sinner. I am done with you for now. If I hear one single sound from the kitchen tonight i will fucking lock you up again. doesnt matter what you swore and what not." "im sorry-" "shut up. Not one sound."
He left the kitchen, leaving the once proud prince standing there with a tear rolling down his cheek. Not understanding what he did wrong.
Loki felt even more like a sinner. His problem wasnt that he swore loyalty. The reason for the whippings he got back home also wasnt really the one he had told them. Yes he yelled at his father, the king, once infront of the city and yes he got himself a whipping with that. but the true reason was... he once had a lover. A male lover. That was a sin. A sin in the eyes of his father.
He was a sinner because he liked men, instead of women..