Meet the Robins (Joker) – The Panda Redd
NOW PLAYING…
“DC- Skit: Meet the Robins (Joker) – The Panda Redd”
RH: Why is this funny? Nobody here likes the joker
Sys: My main creators find the content of those like The Panda Redd amusing.
BM: And what kind of content is that?
Sys: you’ll see.
The Joker is seen going over some papers.
Joker: so, the bomb should go here and here
Suddenly, Batman swoops down menacingly.
Batman: it’s over Joker. You’ve lost.
Joker: hehehehehe oh, good, batman you finally arr- what the fuck is that?
Robin One: we’re here to take you to jail!
Batman: What?
Joker: Dude what the fuck is wrong with you? You brought a kid to this!?
Robin One: I’m not a kid, I’m Robin!
Batman: honestly, I don’t see the issue.
Joker: nah man, fuck this, I’m not hit-
Robin One then kicks Joker and the screen suddenly cuts out.
Red hood burst out laughing and some of the other bats follow suit.
RH: I see why this is funny
NW: That didn’t happen, but it was basically that.
R: I assume this file is a compilation of all variations of robin encountering the joker, by order in which they appear.
BM: it’s likely.
The scene changes to the Joker talking to a goon.
Joker: what do you mean Harvey won’t do it?
Goon: *offscreen muttering*
Joker: well, fuck him, tell him if he fucks around, I’m going to turn him into one face.
Suddenly, Batman swoops down menacingly.
Batman: it’s over Joker. You’ve-
Joker: yeah, yeah, I know, I’ve lo- That’s a different kid. Did you get a different fucking kid?
Robin Two: damn straight, and I’ll straight-up kick your ass.
Joker: I’ll end you. I won’t even make it look like an accident. I swear to God I’ll fuc-
Joker: *gets punched in the nuts by Robin Two* ooh! Right in the joker fish. Fu-
the screen suddenly cuts out.
The group begins sending wary glances towards the Previously Deceased Robin now known as the Red Hood, just in case he gets a flash of Pit Rage. He doesn’t.
NW: I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.
RH: yeah, I feel that.
NW: well, you did get killed by the guy…
RH: The clown was not that blatant about it until the actual incident. B would have never left me alone in that warehouse with my bio mom otherwise.
BM: what did your mother have to do with your death?
RH: did I not tell you she was the one to sell me out to the clown in the first place? She was smoking in the corner while I was being beat up with a crowbar!
RR: How has that never come up before? You were buried together and everything.
Batman: I assumed, from her words about Jason saving her, that she was a casualty in the wrong place at the wrong time.
RH: Eh, Past is past now.
R: how… un-Todd-like of you…
RR: yeah. It’s not like he holds grudges or anything.
RH: I don’t hold grudges.
RR: cough. titans tower. Cough.
RH: you suck at fake coughing. You just said cough out loud
The scene changes to Joker talking to a goon.
Joker: the fuck you mean gabby wants benefits?
Suddenly, Batman swoops down menacingly.
Batman: it’s over Jo-
Joker, cutting batman off: -oker, you’ve lost, I kno-
Joker: where do you keep finding orphans?
Robin Three: I’m… I’m not an orphan.
Joker: I can fix that.
Robin Three then whaps joker across the forehead with a stick and the screen suddenly cuts out.
RR: Joker never had the chance to harm my bio parents before they kicked the bucket, but I guess the sentiment was there.
R: Never mind that Drake, I am Next!
The scene changes to Joker talking to a goon on the phone.
Joker: oh, yeah, I want it written across my forehead in cursive
Suddenly, Batman swoops down menacingly.
Batman: it’s over Jo-
Joker, without looking, shoots a gun in Batman’s general direction. The screen cuts to Stephanie brown (as Robin Four) falling over.
Robin Four: bleh
Batman: oh god Stephanie!
the screen suddenly cuts out.
R: Wait, What?
RH: Well, that’s another dead robin. Care to explain, Batman?
BM: I Never…
RR: Jason, Steph isn’t dead. She was here this morning, making those purple waffles and screaming at the top of her lungs.
R: Computer, Explain!
Sys: In an alternate timeline, Tim Drake had a… Civilian issue. Stephanie Brown, his girlfriend, became the Fourth Robin for about two weeks before starting a Contingency gang war as Minnie Malone, Matches Malone’s Niece, without Batman’s knowledge.
BM: I assume it failed due to Me, as Matches, not getting involved?
Sys: Correct. Stephanie Brown’s Robin was caught spying on some crime bosses and was shot dead by the Black Mask. Multiverse shenanigans happen and she was instead secretly healed by Dr. Thompkins. When fully healed, Stephanie became batgirl number two. More multiverse shenanigans happen, and Girl Robin never existed, but my creators still consider her a robin.
BM: However, in this clip, the joker killed her.
Sys: In this skit, the main focus is to introduce the robins, then the event that evolved their robin into something else. Grayson insisting he isn’t a kid is what made him create Nightwing, Joker murdering Todd is what made him Red hood, Drake losing his family is what made him take Red Robin, and so on.
RH: So, it’s educational. Why is this labelled as funny?
No response.
The scene changes to Joker just standing there.
Robin V: I have a sword now.
Joker, doing a double take: you have a WHAT!?
the screen suddenly cuts out.
RH: oh. Yeah, that… that is actually kind of funny.
R: as expected from the superior-
NW: Ahem.
R: …what is next? I am the last robin.
Sys: Not quite. The creators have included an honorable mention of a running joke of sorts.
BM: play the clip. It’s probably Barbara or something.
The scene immediately changes to Batman swooping down menacingly.
Batman: it’s over Joker. You’ve lost.
Joker, turning around: ha-ha, that’s what you think Batman, but- holy fuck.
Shazam with a cheap robin costume over his normal hero suit: Yo.
At that moment, Batman began setting the record for the world’s longest disappointed dad sigh.
RH: I think this is worse, somehow.
NW: Is that the “immortally” old Demigod from Fawcett… in a Robin suit?
RR: actually, the Batfiles™ say he’s… a “twelve-year” old demigod from Fawcett… in a robin suit. William Josep-WAIT is that his ACTUAL NAME?
R: what is it?
RR: His full legal name is William Joseph … Batson.
R: no… I Refuse!
RR: He goes by Billy, if that makes you feel better.
NW: It really doesn’t.
R: I will not have my title revoked by someone named BATSON.
RH: Adoption bait at his finest.
R: It is an insult to my honor!
Batman finally finished sighing, feeling morally crushed and spiritually abandoned.
Batman: I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that last part, Joker. What was that?
Joker: …
Joker: what the fuck did you feed this one, the other four?!
“Robin”: I’m, uh… I’m new.
Joker: New to fucking what? Steroids?
RH: oh, this is hilarious.
NW: look how confused the guy is!
Batman: oh, I’m sorry. I don’t really see what the big problem is.
Joker: “the problem was”, you black leather bastard, is that you brought fucking superman in a robin outfit and expect me to act like that’s just fucking cool
Batman: I don’t see how this is any different than before.
RR: Well, this adopted Robin wasn’t locally sourced.
RH: good one, replacement.
Joker: okay. Okay, yeah, okay. yeah *shoots “robin” *
“Robin”, watching the bullet bounce off his face: heh tickles.
Batman: the fuck dude?
Joker: you see, if I can’t fucking traumatize him, it’s not fair game.
Batman: that is not a rule
Joker: that is fucking completely a rule
“Robin”: uh M-Mr. Batman, I don’t want to be traumatized.
Batman: don’t worry, man. You’re fine.
Joker: this is such fucking bullshit.
Batman: and I’m tired of this. Robin, get him.
“Robin”, approaching Joker: sorry Mr. Joker. This might sting a little.
Joker: what might stin-*gets electrocuted* fhvjbskvujih
RR: Batman, take notes. This one’s bulletproof, has electric tolerance, and has a built-in taser. The true anti-Joker.
RH: how great it must be to not be shot.
BM: Tim. Jason. I am not in the right mentality to deal with you two right now. Can we postpone the aggressive commentary until after we figure out who thought it was a good idea to give us a system with access to the documented history of the multiverse itself with seemingly no strings attached?
RR: I’ll try.
RH: Yeah… no promises. However, on the subject of our multiversal benefactor, I would like to ask the computer program some of my own questions.
Sys: Time is of no issue, but it seems my creators have set a limit to how many non-universe related questions can be asked in ratio to what you have reacted to.
BM: What could we do in order to ask questions?
Sys: react to what my creators recommend you see, similar to [LGMV], but more individualized to the user.
BM: Well then. Show me something unrelated to my family.
Sys: my creators love the initiative, but no. The next required category for you to ask more questions is…
To Be Continued...