Vignette
Not sure when it started, peelin' from his bones
Piece it back together all alone
Hope it held together long enough for he
To pitch the greener grasses and hope that she would agree
Peter had tried to place his feelings back to a certain point, but had found it difficult. He’d always felt this way. Ever since he was six. He’d understood the concept of death very early on in his life. And the feeling that had been hounding him had been following him ever since. He’d been told by his therapist that Mr. Stark had gotten him that it could get better. And that’s why she was there. But Peter didn’t believe that one bit.
It's a tribute to zombies of which I've become
Where do I go from here?
Peter had began to take medication to manage those symptoms. But he was just left feeling less like himself then he was prior. And he didn’t think that was even possible then before. He’d thought he’d lost himself entirely. Seemed he was wrong. The medication plummeting him to a new low in self discovery. Self worth.
Clinging to promises
‘Just promise me you won’t run off again.’
‘I promise.’
Fighting off the vignette
He couldn’t run. He’d promised Tony he wouldn’t run.
Tunnels cave, visions fade
But man was it tempting..
Swallowed by the vignette
He climbed out of his bedroom window. This time without his suit. Swinging through the woods and eventually through Queens. He just needed to leave. He didn’t know where. He just needed to go.
He's thinking, "There's no way I'm headed there"
Always sure-footed, educated, and was never scared
Now he can't hold out his hand without it shaking
“Boss, Peter left the tower an hour ago.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me!”
Hounded by a bunch of dead when the search party found him
“Peter!” Natasha shouted. Running to him and hugging him tightly. “Found him. He’s at Mays grave.”
“May and Bens..” he corrected in a hushed whisper. He’d killed them both.
Fresh off a binger in the woods
Flesh covered in bites
Tony landed not two minutes later. Slipping from his suit and rushing to the teen. Taking in his state. Hair thin he assumed from pulling it out. Skin scratched off his face and neck in some areas. Bite marks on his arms and hands some that broke skin. “Kid what’s goin’ on in that head of yours, huh?”
Testing what is real, what is good
Peter turned to Tony. His voice shaky. “I keep seeing them.. whenever I close my eyes they’re there- they’re all there-“
“Who’s there, Bug?” He asked softly, cupping his kids cheek gently.
“May and Ben- and the Vulture- And Mysterio- And the kid from the bridge- And- and the people from the ferry but- but I don’t- I don’t know what they look like so they’re just faceless and-“ he moved to tug at his hair again, Tony taking them before they could reach and wrapping them around his greasy shirt. Pulling Peter into a hug and rocking him gently. “It’s all my fault-“
“It’s not kid.. it’s really not your fault. You done everything you could. You done it all right. Every little thing..” Tony whispered.
“But Ben- I didn’t even move to stop it-“
“You were fourteen Peter..”
“The ferry! If I had just listened and let you handle it-“
“Then it would have still happened.”
“May! If I had moved-“
“Five seconds wouldn’t have made a difference kid.. you done everything right. The pressure. The ambulance. You done everything right.”
Man, it's been a long night
It's a tribute to zombies of which I've become
Where do I go from here?
Peter looked at himself in the mirror. The feeling of metal in his fingers and slicing into his skin ebbing at the back of his mind. Hugging his body. He couldn’t recognise himself. These meds. He didn’t know who he was anymore.
Clinging to promises
’Kid promise me you won’t do this anymore..’ Tony whispered, taking extra care of cleaning up Peter’s cuts.
‘I promise..’
Fighting off the vignette
Peter managed to fight the feeling for a day.
Tunnels cave, visions fade
He walked over to the dresser, pulling out the bottom drawer, reaching underneath and grabbing the tape. Pealing it back and looking to the blades stuck to it. He took one off, heading to the bathroom.
Swallowed by the vignette
“Sir, Peter has gotten hurt.”
“Okay Fri where is he?”
“His bedroom, boss”
Tony didn’t think he could move that fast anymore. Rushing into Peter’s room and, when he saw no spiderling, into the bathroom. Seeing Peter, bleeding on the floor. Making no effort to clean it up. Just whispering a “how did you know..”
“Fri..” Tony whispered, his voice cracking at the sight.
“Of course..”
After Tony had cleaned Peter up and bandaged his arm, he spoke up again. “Just promise me.. and please- stick to this one. Promise me that I won’t have to bury you too..”
“I promise..” Peter whispered, crossing his fingers behind Tony’s back. He couldn’t make anymore promises.
No, not me, it's for a friend
No-no, not me, it's for a friend
No, not me, it's for a friend
No-no, not me, it's for a friend, denial
Peter wished he hadn’t stopped taking the medication when he ran out. It would make this plan so much easier.
“Mr. Banner?” Peter spoke as he walked I to his lab.
“Hey Peter, what’s up?” Bruce asked, turning to face him. “You didn’t hurt yourself making toast again did you?”
“Alright you said you wouldn’t bring that up!” Peter whined. Trailing off. Now or never Parker. “Ned’s having a really tough time. He keeps getting these really bad migraines. I think it’s the stress from all the revision for exams. He’s taking Paracetamol and Ibuprofen but it’s not working. Do you have anything stronger?” He asked sheepishly.
Bruce, understandably sceptical, stood up, heading to the locked cabinet. “And how long are these exams supposed to last?”
“Three weeks.” Peter answered matter of factly.
“Well.. I’d have to ask Ned’s Dad..” he trailed off
“No!” Shit was that too desperate? “No.. no Neds family are into the whole holistic medicine stuff. Like soups and teas. They don’t ever take medication. Would have Neds head if they found out he was taking the Paracetamol. They can’t know. I don’t want him getting into trouble.”
Sighing, Bruce rubbed his face and pulled out a box of morphine. Handing it to Peter. But when he went to grab it, the box was pulled back. “He gets caught, you didn’t get it from me okay?”
“Yes Mr. Banner, sir.” Peter spoke with a smile. Taking the box and thanking him as he walked out. Keep calm. Keep calm. You got what you wanted.
He couldn’t take them straight away though. He had to wait. He didn’t want to do it while there were raised alarms. He’d do it in two nights time. That way they’d be under the impression he’d gotten it to Ned. And I could keep it in his locker incase Tony caught wind and wanted to check his bag after school tomorrow.
No, not me, it's for a friend
“Did you get the medication to Ted?” Tony asked.
“Ned and yeah I did!” Peter smiled. “I need to get my homework done and do some revision. Is it okay if we wait until after dinner for lab?” Peter asked as he slipped past him to head to his room.
“Ah ah. Bag.” Tony asked, holding his hand out.
Peter slipped it off his shoulders, handing it to Tony. Glad he’d left the medication in his locker. Tony checked through the bag and zipped it back up, handing it back to the kid. “Sure, lab after dinner works.” Tony smiled. “Go on, go bury yourself in text books again.” He ruffled Peter’s hair as he went to grab a glass of water. Something didn’t sit right with Tony.
No-no, not me, it's for a friend
Peter looked to the box in his locker. He debated taking them at lunch. But he didn’t know how long it would take for them to kick in. And if it failed, he didn’t want to be forever known as the kid who tried to kill himself in school.
Instead of putting the box into his bag, he took the tablets out of the wrappers individually, slipping them into his coat pocket, counting each one. Okay. Good. 84 tablets like the box said. He took a deep breath, leaving the coat in his locker and grabbing his textbook. Stepping into his revision class just as the bell rang.
No, not me, it's for a friend
“Hey kiddo, how was school?” Tony asked.
“Was good! I think I nailed my calculus exam which I’m relieved about. I’m not looking forward to physics tomorrow though.” He wouldn’t be here for physics tomorrow. And he internally smiled at that. “So I’m going to get in a little more revision before lab time. The exam just isn’t sitting right with me. Feel like I’m missing something.”
“Alright- Peter you know the drill.” Tony spoke. Holding his hand out for the bag. He sighed, slipping it off. Relieved the pills were now in his coat pocket.
Tony opened the bag, pulling out the full water bottle. “You’ve hardly drank any water today.” He spoke. Looking to Peter, sharing the glance with Bruce.
Luckily, Peter had planned ahead with that. His untouched gym clothes at the bottom of his bag. “I have, I just filled it up before Gym class. But they cancelled it for revision. Anymore and they’re going to start running people into the ground.” Peter grumbled.
Tony nodded slowly, indeed spotting the gym clothes. “Alright. Three hours of revision max. And then I’m coming to get you if you’re not down in the lab. I’ve got some cool things to show you.” He set the bottle back in his bag and handed it over to the kid.
Peter zipped it back up and slung it back over his shoulder. Smiling to Bruce then Tony. “You’re really starting to sound like my dad.” Peter teased before heading to his room. Shutting the door. “FRIDAY can you soundproof the doorway? I really need to concentrate on my science revision.”
“Of course, Peter.”
No-no, not me, it's for a friend, denial
Peter let out a shaky breath. Sat on his bed. The pills in a pile and his uncapped bottle in his right hand. He glanced to the time. 16:05.
No, not me, it's for a friend
He took the first handful of tablets, swallowing them with big gulps of his water. He glanced to the alarm clock again. 16:10
No-no, not me, it's for a friend
He swallowed the last of the tablets. Letting the high take over. He could make out a blurry 17:10 on the alarm clock
No, not me, it's for a friend
Tony, as promised, came to get Peter after three hours. Knocking on the door. When he got no answer, he opened it, poking his head in the room. “Kid you ain’t gonna leave your old man waiting are-“ he stopped at the sight. “Bruce!” He shouted. The sound rattling through the compound. The man running into the room after a few minutes. No one paid attention to it, but the alarm clock read 19:10
No-no, not me, it's for a friend,
06:43 Peter woke up to the smell of a clean room and the sight of clinical walls.
denial