Whole
“She’s wrong.” It perplexes him for a beat, till he registers Loki’d heard them. Had he listened in intently does he always or was it by chance? It mattered little as Loki strode closer, spoke and his words – the gravity to them, left him wordless. “You housing me here was not about you. You flying into that portal was not about you. You have changed – you are actively trying to make a change, to redeem yourself regardless of the reality of the matter being that you are not to blame for the manner in which your weapons were used, against whom. And I have seen you, content. Happy, with your work and your achievements, your eagerness to improve consistently your strive to learn. There is no ‘finish line’. You taught me that. One day at a time. And we all have our demons you seek not from them distractions, rather ways to confront them. The scars may never wholly fade and that is something she’ll never understand. That, was the problem. You, are not.” Promptly his eyes well a lump in his throat swells his heart rapid. Loki reaches for him, pressed gentle a hand to his cheek and browns fluttered Stark leaned into the cool touch. Greens softened Loki stroked to and fro along the freckled skin his thumb. “Do you trust me?” softly asked. Stark’s hand rose to press against his.
“Yes,” doubtless he tells voice hoarse. Loki frowned in refrain, aching to hold him.
“Trust that I’ll teach you to control this.”
“Why did you do it?”
…Loki takes a deep breath, features give.
“…I could tell you it is because I see in you potential, to be more and excel and that is truth, Anthony. As is that I,” he resigns, exhales: “am a selfish creature. Doomed to bleak fate until you’d walked into my room and dragged me from my pitiful mind-state,” closer came brought a hand top Tony’s shoulder, “reminding me what living means, for the sake of it as opposed to some aim. What’s that they always say?” his smirk’s solemn thumb grazing the flesh along Stark’s warm neck. “The journey not the destination. For ours all is death, and,” he confessed: “I sought to delay yours, as far as possible so I am not to venture this long path bored. Alone. But, it came to matter more, the smile in your eyes the shine in your soul,” he aches to tell him
but it’s too soon.
Still he needs to tell him and he does abstaining best he can as it all hastens out: “…I never quite understood what…‘unconditional’ meant, until it seemed there was nothing I wouldn’t give you nothing I wouldn’t do not caring what I’d receive, not for benefit just…” sighed a breath trembling.
“I love you,” Anthony said and in irony shock genuine grasped the god’s features. Tony neared clutched at the black shirt, prompted: “Am I lying?” knowing, the god of lies would know. The god falters.
Hands cradle Tony’s face Loki’s nearing he asks hoarsely: “…Why, do you love me?” Tony missed not a beat answered:
“Because you’re fun and smart and drop-dead gorgeous. Because you’re you, not for what you give me the powers – I don’t care. You realize my magic, reacts to you – it listens to you because I listen to you. Because all I can think about when you talk me through a spell is how happy I can make you if I get it right,” because since his father he had never sought so to make someone proud – Loki knows the weight of this it shows in his taken features his softened tone:
“Anthony.”
“I wake up and the first thing I do is look for you. I can’t be in the lab anymore if you’re not there because it feels like something’s wrong. I think about you at work I think about coming back and telling you about my day for christ’s sake!” arms gestured he stepped back rather riled up now. “I keep thinking of us out in the field you armored up and kicking ass – I made suits for you! The hell do you mean why?!”
The way, a slow, small smile tugs Loki’s lips the way his green piercing eyes soften and well make Tony’s heart keel. The god holds out his hand the smith quick to accept it and return, be pulled and held at the waist and be told with all certainty: “I love you,” in a language he shouldn’t but does understand, and cannot from his heart tame joy overflowing onto his whole posture and features.
Loki’s smile expands and he leans just as Tony leans up so their mouths’ll fuse in a long longed kiss, that though escalates not past the press of warm lips followed by short little stolen pecks before they simply relent to the closure and there stand, locked in embrace foreheads rested with eyes shut.
Their shared essence hums under their skin purring deep through their bones harmoniously in sync, content, whole.