Reuniting (Lokius)

Loki couldn't bear listening to Mobius' screams, any longer.

It wasn't about the noise so much as the fact that his roommate was having these awful night terrors on an almost daily basis. With Yggdrasil sorted, he had chosen Mobius' home as his place to crash until he decided on somewhere else. In truth, Loki had enough gold in his possession and more that he could loot from the multiple timelines. He didn't need the help, yet, it was much too pleasant toying with Mobius. He was rather fun to scare, although he was starting to catch on at times, like when he'd notice Loki was invisible before the god could leap onto him.

To him, his pranks were a fun scary. Mobius always lightly rolled his eyes when it was over. At best, he'd get a bit flustered because Loki got a bit too close in the process. Those were his biggest wins. Loki wasn't sure exactly what it meant but he knew, with certainty, that he liked how he looked when he got like that more than his shocked or horrified expressions.

These dreams plaguing his sleep were decidedly the shitty kind of scare.

On a few occasions, he'd suggested pulling them from his mind. A bit of mental manipulation was easily up his alley - if Scarlet Witch could do it, why couldn't he? He'd had his various powers for over a thousand years after all.

Mobius always refused, yet, the ex-TVA agent watched as Loki's irritated expression morphed into worry and knew pity might be next. He brushed the god's hand away when he attempted to reach for him, stretched back and glumly gave him permission to try drawing the dreams away. He genuinely didn't think it would work but there seemed no harm in trying, especially when Loki looked glad after his response.

Mobius only gave one condition.

Loki couldn't open his eyes while he did whatever he was doing. Not even a peep.

The day passed. Night fell. Loki, for the first time since he'd returned, was sleeping in Mobius' bed again. The man had asked him to get in when he showed up all of a sudden, shakily explaining that he was terrified he'd disappear again. Mobius had fallen asleep after gazing right at him for as long as he could to be certain he didn't move. The Mobius of the present day turned away, however. It stung a bit but he had a job to do. This was meant to be nothing more than that.

Mobius gave a soft gasp when Loki's fingers pressed into his shoulders, planning to turn around to question him. The god gave him a quick squeeze before he could, forcing him to stay in place. The man was rather tense as Loki massaged him, easing into it as time went by. The Asgardian teased that he was the most tense person he'd ever met but all Mobius could focus on was the feeling of his fingers through his shirt, shutting his eyes tightly and fighting back the urge to make a single noise.

He was beginning to wonder if he'd still have a nightmare with all this pampering. Eventually, he was let go of, heaving a sigh of relief that made Loki chuckle. Not long after that, he fell asleep, enjoying the cool feeling of the man's body so close to his back.

There was silence and darkness. Nothing more.

Loki walked casually through Mobius' dreamscape, hoping the night would be peaceful. Maybe the terrors had gone away on their own? His vision was obscured by a simple black bandana across the eyes but his ears stayed perked and ready for the first sign of danger.

First came the sound of a knife cutting into flesh. Afterwards, a horrified, guttural scream that he knew all too well. And what was the anxious thought that must have been bothering him so much in his waking life that it slipped into his subconscious and took such root? It was the voice of Loki himself, panting and laughing like a maniac and speaking in a way he could never speak to Mobius. Not ever.

The dream version of him saw Mobius as nothing. Perhaps less so, if possible. It called Mobius inferior, useless, unlovable. It asked him why he'd ever stay with him when he was a god, a prince and the world's saviour. It belittled him with every statement, its tone so harsh and so seemingly sincere that Loki just had to recoil, tears in his eyes.

He stretched out a hand and made it all go away, returning to the waking world with his vision still blurry. Wiping his face, he turned to gaze at the sleeping man beside him, then walked out of the bedroom, then out of the house itself.

Mobius waited for him the entire day, his thank you breakfast remaining uneaten as the hours passed on and on. He started to feel the weight of guilt as time passed, wondering if he'd finally done it. Chased Loki away without even trying. He'd never once mentioned wanting anything romantic with Loki, even when the god would flirt or tease or lean over him with those... Eyes of his. He'd hoped that would be enough and yet, all it had taken to ruin things was Loki seeing a piece of his mind that he kept hidden under his usual cheery disposition.

He hated the thought that he might lose him a second time, yet, what could he do but wait for him to come home? Hope and love are deeply intertwined, after all.

Loki appeared in his bedroom just as he'd laid down to sleep. Mobius hadn't exactly expected anyone so he was shirtless, a squeak leaving his lips as he grabbed his duvet to cover himself up. The god rolled his eyes and stretched out a hand to help Mobius sit up, ripping the blanket off without a moment of hesitation.

"Hey! Don't tear that, it's expensive!"

"I care little about your covering, Mobius. Your body is beautiful as it is. You have no need to hide it from me."

A brief silence. Mobius was waiting for Loki to crack a smile and say he was kidding, yet, the god only stared at him with exasperation on his face. With a tired sigh, he placed a hand on Mobius' shoulder, reminding him of the massage last night and whispered, "the fact that you are as gorgeous as you are and seem surprised I've noticed? It had to be one of the most irritating things you've ever done."

"Stop. Stop, Loki, why are you-"

"Why do you think?"

A look of understanding passed over Mobius' face but his expression turned cold much too fast, the slight pink to his cheeks fizzling out in seconds. He shook his head and the forced on a grin, yet he couldn't fool his roommate. Not this time. Loki wondered how many times he might have missed his discomfort, guilt eating away at him.

"So... What? You find out I've got horrifically low self-esteem and think a few sweet words will fix it?"

"Why do you sound so upset? I don't know how I fucked things up that would make you think I hate you that much but I can assure you, Mobius, it's the opposite! I mean... Do you really think I'm still that much of a monster? That much of a godsdamn maniac? Tell me. Did I kill you in that dream?  Was I laughing at you as I did so? Are you... Scared to be around me? Do you think you're unsafe with me, is that... Is that your secret? You could've told me. I could've left, Moby, I-"

"No. No, no, shut- just shut up. C'mere."

Mobius pulled him into a hug, brushing his hands through Loki's hair as the moment it was close enough. It had a calming effect as usual, his mind totally focused on waiting for his breathing to even before he let the god go. Loki wasn't sure he'd answer him. Maybe he needed some space? Some time? He felt the urge to beg for forgiveness for something he would never do and sighed to himself. It was a desire that made no sense, yet, for Mobius? He was willing to do anything. Even take a direct shot at his own ego if it meant a little more closeness for a little while longer.

"The knife you're talking about. It... It wasn't in me. It was in you."

"...you've been dreaming of my end, then? I see."

"Probably not for the reason you think! Look, Loki. You left. For a long time. Months and months. I had no idea whether you'd come back. All I had was hope because what is love, anyway, without that stupid, stupid feeling? That craving in your bones for something you just know wouldn't choose you? It wasn't about you. Not truly. It wasn't about some sort of hate for you. I could never. Ever. Even when I didn't know you, when you were just a Loki, I was rooting for you. I hoped you would find your way and I had no idea I'd become a part of that path but it's hard, alright? Because you're you and I'm me and I can't stop how little I've done to deserve this. My life has been a waste of routine and beaurocracy while you, my friend, have traversed various worlds and saved every reality in existence when I worked to keep it at one. Like every other Loki, you are exceptional but you are infinitely moreso because you're mine, Lok. You're mine. And I love you but sometimes, I'm so suffocated by how I feel about myself that it hurts to look at you."

"Mobius..."

"I'm sorry. This is a lot at once. Honestly, if understand if I've made things too uncomfortable. If you just don't ever want to be around me again."

"I could say the same."

"...what?"

"I've been so stupid. I left you for a day and came crawling back to interrogate you but you're... You're in pain. I made it all about me by placing all the blame and guilt on myself but you're hurting so badly. Fixing this won't be the work of compliments. I'm not new to hating myself or thinking I'm a loser but I... I feel like I can finally, fully breathe as the person I am. And that, in a deeply impactful way, has been because of you. If anyone should feel inadequate or lesser... Well. No. Neither of us should. Gods, I'm not helping. I can't help. I'm horrified you can have these thoughts about me. Not when I love you as much as I do. I don't ever want you to feel this way again. I know it will come but please, whenever you have a nightmare like this, remind yourself that I'm too obsessed with you to ever speak such blasphemy against my favourite person in the world."

"Your favourite favourite?"

"Mhmm."

"More than Sylvie?"

"When I was going off to work on Yggdrasil, while I was there, I played so many of our moments back in my head. I cast them out like a projection and walked through them so I could watch you smile again and laugh with you the only way I could. I missed your laugh. I missed the way you smelled and your weird fixation on jetskis and how honest and sweet you constantly are. You look cute even when you're confused - just look at that face."

"Shut up." Mobius stretched out his hand despite this statement, amused when Loki leapt into him, the men chest-to-chest for a moment as the god wiped his years. Once he was satisfied, he rolled off, ignoring the man's groan and stuck out a tongue at him. "By the way, Lok... I think you maybe said you loved me."

"I did. I think you maybe said so, too. Before I did, annoyingly enough. I wanted to be first."

"You can be first in other things." Mobius flushed slightly because of the curious look Loki sent him, forcing himself to gaze at the ceiling so he wouldn't get distracted by stupid thoughts. "Should we talk about it? We might overthink things if we don't. We're both extremely emotional, sensitive idiots deep down, I think."

"Don't forget hot."

"How could I ever?"

"Well, Mobius... I would but to tell you the truth, I might panic if we go into it right now. Not because it isn't true but... Just... Hearing you say it again might just kill me. How do i survive a whole coveration about it?"

"Well, we wouldn't want you dead, now would we, love?"

Loki couldn't hide the devotion on his face at the little four-letter word, not that he would want to. The way he stared at Mobius was so unbelievably sappy, so undeniably heart-eyed that the silver fox couldn't hell but reach out with a hand and draw him into a kiss. Loki got lost in his touch, suddenly freezing and repeating that he really didn't mean anything bad by avoiding the conversation. He was simply doing his best not to combust under the new circumstances. Mobius, the calmer of the two for the first time in a while, pressed his forehead to his with a small smile.

"I know. Rest, now. Tomorrow. We have all the time in the world."

There were no nightmares that night. Only a blinding hope right before bed that this unspoken thing between them that was finally being spoken about would grow infinitely, just like the branches of Yggdrasil, the tree which contained every branch if the multiverse.