Reuniting (Lokius)

Mobius could tell Loki was hiding something.

Maybe it was weird to know his work colleague that well, he didn't know. They only met a few weeks ago, yet Loki had already made his lonely missions and all the rest time between them so different. Spending time with him had started to bring him more joy than daydreaming of jetskis or pie which was rather weird, sure, but something he was sure he could handle. He was allowed as many secrets as he wished. He was a reliable member of the TVA for as long as he could remember, after all but Loki? He couldn't be trusted by the organisation yet.

As much as Mobius wanted to believe he wasn't doing anything against the rules in secret, trying to find a way out of this work other than dying, the sneaking around and random times the god excused himself were slowly getting to him. He'd hoped the man was enjoying his company just as much but perhaps it had all been a fantasy. Maybe all he was to Loki was a get-out-of-oblivion free card. As much as Mobius didn't want to admit it to himself, he considered Loki as something much more than a co-worker. Maybe... A friend? He hadn't had one of those since Renslayer was promoted after fixing his mistake so losing the Asgardian to these private blips of time was taking its toll.

The final straw came one day when Loki pointed out some whipped cream on his face from the key lime pie he'd had. He tried to get it off with his tongue, fond of the sound of the god's laughter even though it was directed at him. Eventually, Loki reached across the table and brushed his thumb over the edge of Mobius' bottom lip. They both froze once the action was complete, a strange silence settling over them as they avoided each other's eyes.

And then Loki got up, putting on a smile Mobius knew wasn't real and said, "I've gotta go for now. Thank you for making me happy for a while. You're very good at it. The best in the world, really."

Mobius was shocked at the praise, unsure of whether to let himself grin back when Loki's eyes were so sad. It suddenly occurred to him that this might be related to his secret and he stood, grabbing his jacket. "Hey, come on, let's go. I'll come with."

"...what?"

"I'll walk you to your room, bud." Loki's eyes widened but he nodded slowly, almost shyly, folding his arms over his chest as they moved in that direction side by side. Mobius tried to get him talking about little things like his day or by complimenting his hair but there was suddenly a wall between them that seemed almost impenetrable. It was infuriating, yet, Loki either didn't notice how much effort he was putting in or didn't care. They came to a stop in front of his door and Mobius took his arm before he could enter, letting go gently when the god flinched. "I'm sorry, I just..."

"No, no, it's not you. My body just feels a bit sensitive, lately? Sometimes? Sorry. I'll be alright by tomorrow, okay?"

"Are you sure about that, Lok? That you'll be alright by tomorrow?" The nickname was jarring enough in the most pleasant way possible, the god's mind swimming with it in an instant, only for Mobius to make it worse by placing his hands on his shoulders and drawing closer to him. "I'm sorry if this is forward, partner but..."

"No, no, go ahead. Whatever it is. Please." Loki licked his lower lip, temporarily distracting the agent. Mobius blinked twice, reminded himself that this really wasn't the time and returned his focus to Loki's wide eyes.

"I know something is wrong." The way the god immediately stiffened was only more proof to add to the list. Mobius sighed softly and let him go, despite the urge to hug him till the tension went away. "You know how direct I am, don't you, Loki? I mean... You're worrying me. Okay? You really are."

"You're concerned for me? Me? Really?"

"Don't give me that confused look," Mobius responded with a roll of his eyes and a light huff that he'd tried to make playful. It came out frustrated. He really wasn't the best at hiding his emotions. "You can't tell me I'm not supposed to notice the guy I spend the most time with of everyone here... Heck, I've known many of these people for years and the amount of time we've hung out these past fews weeks still tops the list- a-anyway. I've just caught a few little things. The excuses you give sometimes, the way you rush away after missions like something's chasing ya... If I'm making you uncomfortable, you can tell me. And if it's not me, even better, let me know. I'll help you through it. I swear."

"There is no helping me through anything. You don't make me uncomfortable. Nothing does. I am not upset, there's nothing wrong and you don't need to be concerned about me ever again. Okay? I'm fine. I'm a god. I've beaten death so many times, why would this even faze me?"

"Will you talk to me about whatever 'this' is? Please, Lok?" 

There was that nickname again. Loki felt himself melt slightly at the amount of care in his tone, hating Mobius for being the way he was. So kind, so considerate, so observant and brilliant and stupidly, upsettingly pretty. He stuck his nose in the air and waved him away, shutting the door behind himself before the man could speak another word.

A second passed. Then another. With shaky hands, Loki reached into a drawer in his plain room. Unlike all the white and beige that all the agents got, this particular section of his room, small and hidden as it was, was filled with colour. He rose the little tool to his lips, tears filling his eyes as he watched himself transform just a bit in his little compact mirror. Enough, perhaps, to make it all easier for a while. He'd rub it all off once he chose to sleep.

Then the door opened. Mobius stormed in, frowning heavily, starting a sentence that would never be made complete with "let's just talk about..."

They stared at each other. Loki gasped, the weight that had been building up in his chest which he'd only just begun to relieve returning at twice its strength. He stumbled back in his shock, only barely escaping a fall when Mobius placed his hands on the small of his back. There was no hiding, now. And the moment Mobius whispered "what?", mostly to himself, he sank to his knees, still being held by the confused agent and sobbed for a while.

Mobius wasn't used to this side of Loki. He's never known the god to show his weakness without a fight, yet here he was. Unravelling before him. There was little he could do but stay close and mumble that it was okay. If they were something more like those couples he saw at times during missions, he could use his kisses as a distraction and hope it would return Loki to the surface because the god really wasn't there. He was off in his head, even now that the tears had subsided, his eyes full of panic but his face completely straight.

"Loki...? Lok? Plea-"

"Why? Why are you here?"

"I wanted to talk. I swear, I just wanted to keep the conversation going. I didn't like that you just walked out on me like that. It hurt so I... I thought I would give you a piece of my mind, only to come in and... This... This is new," he whispered into the little space left between them. Mobius took Loki's chin between his fingers and inspected the colour on his lips, much to the god's shock. He feared his desire might slip into his voice if he tried to yell at the silver-haired man so he stayed silent, letting him stare, waiting for the unkindness that would no doubt come quite soon. "It's pretty."

"...what?"

"The lipstick. It's pretty. Is this it? Is this what you were hiding from me? I'm sorry if you may feel I'm not giving this the attention it deserves, I just... I'm not so old that I'd be bothered by a man who is comfortable with expressing his physical femininity."

Loki scrambled to his feet. He gazed at Mobius for a long time, then turned away and rifled through the same drawer as before. Mobius stood and followed his steps until he was just a breath away from the god's back, forcing Loki to remain trapped within his orbit in a way they both found dizzying. At some point, the shorter man reached over him to admire some pale blue nail polish and the Asgardian had to remind himself of his decision before he leaned back into Mobius and forgot everything else. He smelled so good. So warm. And he felt safe. Just as safe as he had the day he'd rescued him from certain death at the hands of a fellow agent, the vast majority of which still didn't trust him and never would.

Mobius had taken a chance on him. He'd seen something there no one else had and the reason why would never make any sense, no matter how many times he thought about it. He didn't have anything to give. Not even his powers, not anymore. If the truth was so important to Mobius that he wouldn't stop pestering him for it, Loki decided he would give the man what he wanted and hope for the best.

And so, he handed Mobius a picture.

In it, Mobius felt overrun with jealousy when he noticed a beautiful, laughing woman surrounded by so many others. Her outfit had to be from around the 1920's with its shimmering vintage allure. The dress hugged her figure so good that he had to suck in a quick breath and look away, starting to wonder if this was Loki's kink somehow. If he'd interrupted the god before he began self-fellatio, he'd never be able to look him in the eyes again.

Yet, something about her intrigued him enough that he took another look. The more he stared, the more familiar she seemed until finally, he gazed at Loki, stunned and touched the side of his face. It made the god's heart race. As far as he knew, he had never wanted to be with someone romantically. It had always seemed stupid, plain and boring. Yet, Mobius had an adorable, dazed look in his eyes that made Loki want to run away and kiss him at the very same time. This dilemma only worsened when, instead of panicking or fleeing as expected, Mobius went pink and put the picture down, his next few words a stammer Loki couldn't quite make out.

Finally, he collected himself and said, "it's hard enough already to be so attracted to you. To have it doubled in one swoop? Over a photo? Fuck, Loki... Just... Fuck."

"...You're attracted to me. You're not horrified or disgusted, you're..." Loki's anxious energy was quickly fading away, Mobius realising just how much danger he was now in when the god moved a little closer, brushing his index finger over his bicep. "That's a development I didn't expect. I do welcome it, though."

"Agreed. I was scared you'd... I thought maybe you wanted to leave me. I mean, here. Work. Leave work. I'm so, so glad I haven't upset you," Mobius muttered to himself. Loki saw how sad he was and tried to apologise, snorting when Mobius did the exact same thing at the very same time. He cursed himself for the sound when he spotted the twinkle in the agent's eyes, though neither of them brought it up. From there, it was all about telling Mobius about... Her.

"She's a part of me. A part I really like. I'm a confident man but sometimes, I'm a confident woman, too. Heck, sometimes, I have no idea which and I couldn't care less either. I just am. I never had dysphoria issues before? I'd go out and use a different face each time so I wasn't recognised. I enjoyed myself but I didn't think deeply about it. I figured I'm the trickster god so why wouldn't shapeshifting often be a thing I enjoy? It wasn't until I got here and couldn't use my powers to turn into her that I figured it out. I want to be her. A woman. Not all the time, yes but... When I do? It's so hard to keep that part of me in the dark. It might've been easier if we were not close but sometimes, I just want you to see me as her, not him. You before anyone else because I feel so... Safe... With you? And I want you to accept me in my entirety but I was so scared you wouldn't. Is this stupid? Is this all weird?"

"Shh... No, Lok. It's not. I don't know much about any of this but I'm really willing to learn."

"Honestly, neither do I. Haven't had to think about it all these centuries till I lost my powers thanks to your fun little organisation."

"If losing them is going to keep you safe and alive here, then it's worth it. I know you know that too but I also can tell this has been a difficult thing to face alone. Every path chosen has its hard sides, right? And this... You... I can't help wanting to keep that photo. Or wanting to take many, many more of you because..." Mobius took a slow, deep breath, letting himself talk at the end of it without a moment of hesitation. "You have to try to see how tough it's been for me, I'm hoping you might trust me with more if you do. We seemed to be getting close, then you shut me out a bit and I... I know this was forced on you in a lot of ways but I've really, really grown fond of you. The woman in the photo? Besides the fact that you're beautiful in it, just like you are always? You're happy. You're so, so happy in a way that lasted a moment but was captured forever. I never want to look away."

"Wow. So it's not my legs or my chest, it's my teeth, is it? You have some weird kinks, sir but hey, don't we all?"

Mobius snickered in reply. He had a feeling they still had a lot to talk about but it was getting a bit hard to focus when Loki was smiling at him so much, distracting him from everything else. He tried to push away all the warm feelings blooming in his chest and somewhere much lower by looking to his partner, hoping there was enough sincerity in his eyes that it could be read when he mumbled, "which are you right now? One of them, two or three of them, neither, all? What pronouns would you like right now? I want you to tell me when it happens and well, even though you aren't ready to be her in public without the ability to morph into someone with a different face, you don't have to wear a costume head to toe to be who you are. You already are. Do you understand that?"

"I... She feels good at the moment? Is that okay?"

"Fine by me."

Loki gazed at him, gratitude flowing from her in a way she couldn't quite contain. She took his hand and pressed it to her chest, causing the flustered agent no small alarm because of the sudden boldness. "You're making me go crazy, Mobius. Can you feel what you've done?"

"Oh. Uhm... That's just you being anxious. I guess you aren't fully adjusted to how comfortable I am with all this, yet. It's the 21st century though, old-timer so I suggest you get with the times since I'm already there."

"It's not anxiety, M. I... I need to repay you?  I want to. Tell me how. Anything you need." A smile curled at her lips when Mobius got distracted by her chest for a moment. She touched his chin gently and cocked her head to the side, arching a suggestive brow at him. "There's nothing off the table... I promise."

"I... Uhm... Loki. You make me feel things I haven't felt in... I can't remember ever feeling. It's overwhelming and a little scary but I'm not going to take this moment of vulnerability as an excuse to use you. I don't know why you'd expect that of me but... I'm just grateful you talked to me about this, okay? Even if I barged in like an idiot and forced it to happen. I should've respected your privacy. Honestly, you should be mad at me, I was such an asshole."

"You? An asshole?" With a soft chuckle of disbelief, Loki flung her arms around Mobius' neck and kissed him softly. A tingle of need ran through her that she ignored, certain he wasn't ready for that sort of thing yet. Frankly, neither was she. It was enough in that moment to let her fondness for him grow as much as it pleased without using sex as a way to return to what she was more familiar with. She'd made the suggestion for a reason but his refusal had made it even harder for her not to touch him. Of course, she'd respect it.

"What was that?"

"A thank you. The only one I'll give you tonight. I promise to ask politely first, next time. Forgive my impatience, would you?"

"Loki."

"What?"

"That doesn't explain anything to me... Also, work romances aren't exactly allowed at the TVA."

"Oh? We're a workplace romance now, are we?" Loki gazed at the trace of lipstick on her partner's lips. Mobius was avoiding her gaze but it was clear that some of it had been left behind. A mark from the side of herself she was so used to hiding to the man who made it so easy to be all of her. She found it pretty but she'd pushed him enough, that evening. Looking through her special drawer, she found some makeup wipes and rose it to his lips, stunned when he took her wrist and shook his head.

"Don't. I like it where it is."

"...Oh."

"Do you mind if I stay? You did say anything I want so can we maybe have a sleepover? I'd like to make sure you're okay through the night, if that's alright with you." Loki didn't know what to make of this Mobius who was a mix of confident and shy, unwittingly seductive no matter what he did. The thought of sleeping next to someone she was this interested in made accepting the offer easy. Thus, she flopped into the mattress and mimed a rope to pull him over. Mobius sighed but pretended to be dragged close by it, yelping when Loki tugged him into her chest by the tie the moment he was near enough.

"Good night, M. Let's make sure you sleep well, shall we?"

Unbeknownst to everyone else in the TVA, Mobius was covered in lipstick stains and a few stray hickeys, courtesy of the divine, genderfluid deity of chaos he'd met not too long ago.