How The Blood Spilled
Life is like a roller coaster. There is a time when it can be up and it can be down, or there are times when it dives down into the water or twists you in the air. Whether people enjoy the ride, crying, or vomiting, that is just what life is like.
Especially as a superhero, where they can barely live a normal life.
That is what Peter Parker, dubbed as Peter-Three, likes to think sometimes.
He knows that he can’t keep worrying about the future. There are ‘what-if’ scenarios that haunt his mind and he tries to ignore them. He tries his best to focus on his present and to enjoy what he has currently.
But, secretly, he is scared because he has been feeling happy lately. He hasn’t been happy for such a long time, it almost feels foreign for him to be so happy and peaceful.
Secretly, he has been waiting for when life is going to turn around and plunge him down back to hell. The dark part of his brain warns him that it could be at any second, catching him at an unexpected time.
But, certainly, he hopes that it isn’t today.
“Little Bug, answer me, Little Bug!” Peter-Three is shouting at his intercom, frowning when all he hears is just static.
It should have been a normal day. After tutoring Peter-One and giving him a mocking exam then praising him because the youngest gets a high score, the two brothers decided to go to patrol together in Peter-One’s universe. Then later, they would go to have dinner with Peter-Two, the oldest said that he would make their favorite cream soup.
As usual, they split for the patrol, because the youngest and oldest are adamant about working separately, to minimize bystanders realizing that there is more than one Spider-Man now. Peter-Three yearns to swing and fight again with his brothers, but he goes along with their decision anyway.
Usually, during their patrol, they are wearing intercoms, courtesy of Peter-One’s high technology world, so that they can talk to each other and update the progress of their patrol.
It should have been a peaceful patrol, like usual. Until Peter-One informed Peter-Three that he found something suspicious.
And the little brother is out of the radar until now.
The middle brother Spider-Man is looking at the distant sky where he can see the cloudy and dark sky above the city. It feels ominous. Peter-Three taps on the intercom under his mask, where he wears it on his right ear. “Peter, please respond back to me.”
And he can only hear static noise again.
It is… unusual.
Peter-Three feels his chest twist uncomfortably. He hopes that it is only a malfunctioning intercom, but he heard from Peter-One that this intercom is built in war grade so it is almost indestructible-
At times like this, Peter-Three hopes he has a way to locate his brothers’ whereabouts.
Nonetheless, he racks his brain to find his little brother. He quickly scans Peter-One’s portion of the area to patrol, hoping to find some clues. He tries to focus on his spider-sense, closing his eyes behind his mask. Sometimes, it hurts his brain when he lets his spider-sense work unfiltered. From the speeding cars, rushing pedestrians, and some holes in the streets, his spider-sensei is filling him with too much useless information at once. He moves from one place to another place, broadening the search area and focusing on picking anything that is suspicious.
That is until his spider-sense is picking up something strange. Peter-Three looks at a somewhat abandoned building. It seems like a former warehouse from the outside. His spider-sense informs him that there is something strange going on there.
The gate seems brand new than the rest of the place. There is a sturdy wagon car outside. There are people working outside, it screams something is suspicious.
Years doing Spider-Man stunts, Peter-Three can tell that there is definitely something going on here. He doesn’t know whether to hope to find his little brother here or not.
Peter-Three swings and hops on the rooftop with almost no sound. However, he doesn’t worry that much because humans have tendency to not see upward. So, Peter-Three moves to the side of the warehouse, peeking inside the dirty windows.
He focuses on his spider-sense again while slipping inside the building from a broken window near the rooftop. He hears people conversing in a hushing and low voice.
Then Peter-Three can smell a weird odor…
Combined with blood…
He frowns further inside his mask as he crawls on the ceiling, letting the shadow hide him as he inspects the building further.
There aren’t too many people here, but Peter-Three can tell that it is a secret base for some kind of criminal gang. No, not a secret base but probably…
“Drugs?” He whispers to himself in disbelief.
It is like a factory to make drugs. Illegal drugs. Based on containers of chemicals scattered unorganized around the building, probably his guess is right. It is disgusting that he can find something like this in the middle of the city.
“What are we going to do with him?”
Peter-Three slips further into the shadow when he hears two people appear from the corner of the hallway.
“Once he is done, probably we have to dump his body in a cemented drum and then discard it somewhere.”
“…It sounds old school, are you sure the Avengers won’t find him?”
Peter-Three’s blood runs cold.
His brain works quickly and he figures out that these bastards are probably talking about his little brother.
Peter-Three wonders what happened to the youngest because these guys don’t look tough or anything but-
The youngest’s condition doesn’t sound good based on their words, how is that possible?
Peter-Three jumps to the ground and lands with no sound. There is no time to waste, he doesn’t need to move secretly anymore. He needs to find Peter-One as quickly as possible. Based on these guys’ conversations, Peter-One seems to be in a rough condition.
“What-“
“You- How!?”
Peter-Three shoots the two of the bastards with his web, plastering them onto the nearest wall. The middle brother has trouble to contain his wrath, but he needs to keep his cool.
He has to find Peter-One first.
“Where is he!?” he is practically growling at them. He doesn’t even have time to joke around, he is incredibly pissed.
“Huh? You are different-“
It is practically confirmed that these guys have abducted his little brother based on their shock. They are clearly surprised to see him, probably because they never thought that there was more than one Spider-Man.
“Don’t make me repeat myself, where is he!?” Peter-Three is running out of patience. He wants to kick and punch these bastards, breaking their bones and half-killing them if possible-
No, focus, Peter-One comes first.
“He—he is…” the other guy is trembling and he is eyeing the room where they came out before.
Peter-Three doesn’t need more answers, he shoots his web to their face, only leaving a bit of space so they don’t suffocate to death. Their faces are disgusting to look at, they only make Peter-Three want to kill them more.
The middle brother moves swiftly and he kicks open the door.
“Who is that-“
“What-“
There are more people and they are shocked about Peter-Three’s sudden appearance as well.
But, the middle brother doesn’t pay them any mind because his spider-sense has found his little brother as soon as he steps into the room.
It feels as if for a second, the world has completely gone silent and time has stopped moving.
Peter-Three can see how battered Peter-One is on the table, clearly unconscious with his mask off.
Then the time moves again and his spider-sense warns him of the upcoming bullets. Peter-Three moves efficiently, evading the bullets while also running toward his unconscious little brother.
“Little Bug!” he screams in concern and he slides and arrives beside Peter-One. Peter-Three turns quickly to shoot his web at the people who have been shooting at him, rendering the guns useless with his webs. Then he turns again to check on his little brother.
“There are TWO Spider-Man!?”
“How does this happen!? Why is he inside!? Where are other people!?”
“Little Bug, hey!” Peter-Three is ignoring the commotion around him, his eyes are fixed on Peter-One only. He pats Peter-One’s face a bit desperately, checking his condition briefly. “You need to wake up, come on!”
Peter-Three doesn’t think the youngest is gravely injured, but he has no time to examine him thoroughly. It seems he breathes too fast, maybe because he is in pain. He certainly has taken quite a beating with how battered his face and body are.
“Uh…” Peter-One’s eyes flutter open.
“Hey, Little Bug, you awake?” Peter-Three’s relief comes short when he quickly notices that the youngest eyes look weird. They are shaking and unfocused, his breathing quickened to an alarming state. It doesn’t seem the youngest is aware of his surroundings before his body spasms-
And he vomits blood.
Some of it splatter onto Peter-Three’s hands and body.
Then his little brother coughs in pain as he gasps and spasms again.
Peter-Three quickly turns the youngest’s body to the side, he looks at how blood is dripping from his little brother’s mouth, painting his lips in red. He hears how Peter-One is whimpering in pain as he gasps.
This is… not normal, far from normal.
Something is clearly wrong with Peter-One, clearly-
“Little Bug—” Peter-Three whispers in helplessness. He grimaces as his hands are trembling.
He doesn’t know what to do as he can only see how Peter-One whimpering and gasping in pain. He doesn’t seem lucid. The middle brother can’t locate any fatal external wounds then—
Internal wounds?
Peter-Three senses the movement from the guys behind him, he can sense another bullet coming. He moves efficiently, dodging slightly to evade the bullet that coming to his head. He barely even notices it, because his mind is freezing about what he should do in this situation.
“Hey, you, Spider guy, just leave, okay? Pretend that you don’t see anything so you won’t end up like him-“
But, even if Peter-Three is clueless about what he should do, he knows a few things.
That whatever happened to Peter-One was the work of those scumbags.
They did it to him.
They hurt his little brother.
And they should have known how Peter-One ended up like this.
“What did you do to him?” Peter-Three asks in a cold tone. He can feel his rage boiling inside his chest. He is barely containing it, it is about to spill over at any moment now.
“You don’t need to know, because if you don’t leave now, you will end up just like him-“
So, they won’t answer him that easily.
Once Peter-Three concludes that in his mind, he moves quickly.
Something is being thrown at him and his spider-sense alarming him quickly. The middle brother Spider-Man shoots whatever is being thrown at him with his web, plastering it on the wall.
“Shit-“
Peter-Three turns around to see that these guys are about to put on gas masks but stops while looking at whatever object that Peter-Three plastered on the wall.
Gas mask?
Either sleeping or poisonous gas?
Peter-Three’s brain works quickly, connecting the dots rapidly.
These bastards poisoned his little brother?
That answers how these scumbags were able to render the youngest into that state. Of course, they can only rely on dirty tricks like that.
“How f*cking dare you…” Peter-Three grits his teeth in anger.
Peter-Three has a history where he stopped pulling back his punches in his past. When he was gone so far to a dark place, where he was only a bundle of anger, grief, regret, and sadness. He had beaten so many criminals half to death, just because he could. Just because he has no other way to let out his anger.
He has told his brothers about this, in passing. But, never really told them the extent of what he has done.
But, still, even with his history of ragging anger…
Peter-Three never feels like this-
He sees red.
It feels like his vision is completely going red for a moment.
His senses are muddled, he can’t hear the shouting and screaming clearly. He can only smell blood.
A lot of blood.
And he hears dulled bones breaking sound.
And growling.
Oh, that must be coming from him.
He is growling, so ferally.
It feels like he stops being a human for a second.
He stops thinking, he stops feeling. He just feels anger fuelling him for each strike, each punch, each kick.
He wants nothing more than to kill them-
He wants them to die-
“..hree-“
He wants to shred them to pieces-
“THREE!”
Someone is catching his fist, stopping him from striking another punch.
Somehow, he is unable to move his fist. Peter-Three blinks in confusion.
Then it feels like Peter-Three is looking into a mirror.
There is another Spider-Man in front of him…
Huh, what happened? How could he not notice his arrival-
“Big Bug…” Peter-Three mumbles in a delirious state. But, his heart is still thumping way too fast, his adrenaline is rushing inside his blood. He can hear groans and moans inside the room, but particular soft whimpers are more audible than the rest.
Right, Peter-One…
Then Peter-Three’s gaze shifts to the lowlifes behind Peter-Two.
“Big Bug, MOVE!” He is pushing his fist against the oldest, but Peter-Two doesn’t budge. “These bastards don’t deserve to live, they poisoned our Little Bug-“
“Snap it out!” Peter-Two yells back at the middle brother. The hand that grips his fist is gripping him harder.
Peter-Three can’t understand why Peter-Two is against him. However, in the back of his mind, he knows that Peter-Two tends to have different opinions than him. But still…
Why is he protecting these scums? Peter-Three can’t understand, not when all he can feel is anger.
He pushes Peter-Two’s hand to the side and he delivers another side punch toward the eldest. Peter-Two blocks his punch with his arm then Peter-Three can see how a fist goes straight to his face.
He is late to react, realizing that his spider-sense failed to warn him of anything. So, the fist collides with his cheek. It isn’t strong enough to take him down, but it is still strong enough that Peter-Three can feel the soaring pain.
His brain stops working for a second before the realization hits him.
Peter-Two just hit him.
His older brother… hit him.
Then Peter-Two pulls his shoulders and shakes him, a bit desperately now that Peter-Three notices it.
“You need to calm down,” Peter-Two says with such a cold and stern tone.
Peter-Three feels… hurt.
And wronged.
“I didn’t do anything wrong! They deserve it-“ At this point, Peter-Three knows he is only whining. Trying to defend himself in vain. But, he is still irked that his older brother dares to be angry at him, not toward those bastards. Peter-Three tries to get away from his brother’s grip, but Peter-Two refuses to let him go.
“THREE!” he scolds him again. Then he grunts in exasperation, even without seeing his face, Peter-Three can feel frustration radiating from him. “Use your head for a second! We need to figure out One’s antidote first, we can’t just kill them now! Don’t you understand that!?”
Peter-Three is stunned to hear that. Peter-Two sighs and releases him, with the way he covers his face and huffs again, the middle brother can see how irritated he is now.
Both of them hear a loud groan from the pile of people who are covered with blood behind Peter-Two.
Peter-Three can feel how his anger dwindling down a bit. Not completely gone, but decreased enough that he can think a bit clearer now.
These bastards look half-death, they are covered with blood and some bones are definitely broken.
Peter-Two turns around.
“Tend One now, he needs help.”
Now, Peter-Three can tell just how cold Peter-Two sounds.
Peter-Three grits his teeth then he turns around to get to his little brother. He sees that Peter-One has moved, or been moved, to a corner of the room. He is covered with a cloth. He is half sitting, with his back leaning against the wall. His face is still way too pale and it makes his bruises and blood stand out even more. He is still unconscious.
“Little Bug…” Peter-Three whimpers, feeling how his heart is aching.
At least, Peter-One is still breathing, though it is labored.
Peter-Three’s hands are trembling but finally, he cradles the youngest, as tightly but also as gently as he can.
Behind the mask, Peter-Three can feel how a few tears roll down.
“I get you… you will be fine… you will be fine…” Peter-Three mutters with a breaking voice because it is down to him just what he was about to do back then.
He lost control of himself and he-
Peter-Three bites his lip until he can taste blood.
He is such an idiot…
An idiotic… monster.
0o0o0o0
“Now you better tell me, what poison did you use on him?”
Peter-Two is using his webs to stop some fatal bleeding wounds on the beaten-up thugs. They scream and moan in pain because the oldest isn’t gentle with his temporary aids, but Peter-Two is ignoring their cry.
“You better answer me while I’m still being kind,” Peter-Two adds, pressing on the dislocated arm of one of them, knowing where it will hurt the most. The shriek is loud and makes his ears ringing.
But, truthfully, all Peter-Two can hear in his head is how his brother-sense goes wild.
It feels as if there is an alarm blaring loudly without stopping inside his mind. If he isn’t trying his best to focus on his other senses, Peter-Two won’t be able to do anything else but clutching his head in pain. His pain tolerance is high, but he is barely holding it in.
Because it isn’t the time when he can just roll in pain.
“Ugh… sob…. I don’t know—I’m not the one who… made the poison- OWH AAARGH…” Peter-Two twists the dislocated joint a bit further. He isn’t a sadist and he doesn’t have vast knowledge of how to torture people. But, after decades of being Spider-Man, he knows what kind of wounds hurt the most and how to make it worse.
“Okay—okay please stop… I think… some kind of concentrated… pesticide-“ The guy is full-on crying in pain now, but thankfully Peter-Two can still hear his words. “You can find… some—in that cabinet—”
Peter-Two turns around and sees some cabinet on the furthest wall from them.
The oldest abandons the bloodied thugs and runs to the cabinet quickly. He opens a few of them before finally, he can see a small gas cylinder.
Pesticide…
Based on how uncoordinated this place looks like, Peter-Two doubts that these bastards keep any antidote here. But, if it is indeed made from concentrated pesticide then…
Peter-Two turns around and he sees how Peter-Three is cradling the youngest in the corner of the room. He is shaking and mumbling something a bit incoherently and it seems that Peter-One is still unconscious.
Peter-Two can feel how his heart is breaking apart to see that, but he braces his heart and approaches them.
“Let’s go, we need to make an antidote for him,” Peter-Two reminds Peter-Three.
The oldest can’t see Peter-Three expression behind his mask, but based on how he is shaking so badly and how his brother-sense is screaming madness inside his head, his condition isn’t good either. The oldest reaches Peter-One’s face, wiping some blood from the corner of his lips then pulls the cloth to cover the youngest’s face.
He doesn’t have time to find where Peter-One’s mask is, this will do.
“Let’s go,” Peter-Two says again, more tenderly, and pats Peter-Three’s back.
Peter-Three nods without words and follows the oldest to the window. Peter-Two uses his web to tie Peter-One to Peter-Three’s back so that the middle brother can swing while carrying the youngest. The middle brother has been silent for the whole time, but honestly, Peter-Two doesn’t know what to say either-
No, he reserves his energy now, so he doesn’t feel the need to speak anything.
This will be a long night, a very long night.
And then, finally, the brothers leap out from the building, just by the time the police siren can be heard from the outside of the gate.
0o0o0o0
Peter-Three feels his mind become hazy as he moves on autopilot. He relies on his older brother for what he should do while his brain chooses to stop working.
To stop thinking.
Or trying not to, at least.
Peter-Three tries to ignore just how cold Peter-One’s body is against him. Just how limp his body is. And how he coughs and the smell of blood gets stronger again. Peter-Three is shaking but he tries to focus on swinging because he can’t risk dropping his little brother.
They arrive at Peter-One’s apartment and then cross the portal to Peter-Two’s place.
“One of us needs to tend Peter-One and the other one needs to make an antidote based on this sample,” Peter-Two says as he pulls off the webs that tie the youngest on Peter-Three’s back. The oldest takes the youngest in his arms and swiftly moves him to his bed.
Peter-Three is just standing there, feeling how his brain refuses to cooperate with him.
“Peter! Snap it out!”
Peter-Three jumps and turns at Peter-Two. The oldest has pulled out his mask so the middle brother can see his expression. How worried and troubled he is, there is fear in his eyes but also how composed he is.
“Peter, I need your help,” the oldest pleads.
Peter-Three lips tremble and he nods. “L-let me make the antidote…” Peter-Three answers with trembling mouth. He doesn’t think he can tend to the youngest without breaking apart.
“Alright,” Peter-Two agrees with no fuss.
The middle brother takes the sample gas cylinder, looks at it, and gives it some thought. “I need to go back… to my place… I will make it quickly.” Peter-Three can slip into his workplace lab to make the antidote, it will be better and more efficient that way.
“Be careful, don’t breathe on it,” Peter-Two reminds him.
Peter-Three nods, he isn’t an idiot-
But well, he is an idiot-
Peter-Three shakes his head, this isn’t the time for that. Peter-One needs him, he needs the antidote quickly.
So, Peter-Three runs back toward the portal to his apartment.
He lets his body work on autopilot again.
Slipping into his workplace, examining the poison gas, and making the antidote, isn’t a hard task to do. Thankfully even though his lab isn’t a medical facility lab, it still has enough resources to make the antidote. Peter-Three is trying not to see the clock because he is way too anxious, then again, he is already losing track of time since he lost contact with the youngest earlier.
After the antidote is finished, Peter-Three swings back to his place, not even bother cleaning the mess he has created in the lab.
He runs toward the portal quickly, hoping that he isn’t too late. Even though his sense of time is messed up, Peter-Three thinks a few hours have passed already.
He prays that Peter-One is still breathing-
Then he finds Peter-Two is tending to the youngest and thankfully, yes, the youngest is still breathing.
“I-I’m done…” Peter-Three says, offering a new gas cylinder that connects to an oxygen mask. Peter-Two smiles at him, thinly and he looks exhausted.
“You did it quickly,” he says as he grabs the gas cylinder from Peter-Three’s shaking hands. Peter-Two tries to praise him but Peter-Three is too anxious to acknowledge it.
The middle brother pulls out the mask from his head and crouches beside the bed, taking a better look at his little brother.
Peter-One is wearing his pajamas now and he isn’t covered with blood anymore. His face is still pale and his breathing is still way too quick, he frowns in pain and whimpers. There are bunches of syringes on the bedside table along with bloodied towels and bandages. Peter-One looks more presentable now, but Peter-Three knows that his life is still in danger.
“Little Bug… hey… you will be okay… you will be okay…” Peter-Three grabs Peter-One’s hand and grips it tightly. He sees how Peter-Two puts on the oxygen mask to Peter-One and turns on the gas cylinder.
“Ungh… uuugh…” Peter-One is whimpering again and shaking as he breathes on the antidote.
“Hey, hey… it is alright, just take a breath,” Peter-Three feels his heart breaking apart to see how his little brother is in pain.
Peter-Three holds Peter-One’s hand as more tears come out of his eyes.
“Uuuh… it hurts…” the youngest mumbles deliriously.
“I know, I know… just…. Hold it…” Peter-Three feels helpless. Then he turns to see Peter-Two, who has been standing with a solemn face.
Peter-Two glances at him, seemingly extremely tired and 10 years older than his current age. “Poison from pesticide slows down our healing factor, I know this based on experience… but with the antidote, his healing factor will work again.”
Peter-Three knows this, he knows but he just needs to hear some reassurance from the oldest.
“He will be okay, don’t worry.”
Peter-Three can feel how Peter-Two caresses his hair tenderly.
Those words feel like half-lie, but Peter-Three chooses to indulge himself in it.
He stays there, sitting beside the bed while holding on Peter-One’s hand. Once Peter-One has inhaled all of the antidote, some colors return to his face. But, Peter-Three knows that his little brother still needs more time to heal properly. Who knows how bad the internal damage he has suffered?
“Will he be okay?” Peter-Three asks the oldest who is still in the room but has been silent for a while.
Deep inside his heart, he knows that Peter-Two doesn’t know any better than him. No matter how experienced they are as Spider-Man, but they aren’t physicians. But, Peter-Three asks anyway, because he hopes that Peter-Two knows more than him. Because he is the oldest.
Because he is their older brother.
The middle brother’s eyes are fixed on the youngest, observing how Peter-One is still unconscious. He doesn’t know Peter-Two’s expression behind him. No, he doesn’t want to see. He doesn’t want to see how concerned and anxious the oldest is, it will only make Peter-Three anxious even more.
“If he isn’t getting better tomorrow morning, we will bring him to the Avengers’ place.”
Peter-Two answers with a serious and tired voice. Peter-Three half wonders whether the oldest is alright, but who is he kidding? Peter-Three is barely holding on as well.
He tries to not imagine anything, but he keeps thinking about the worst outcome.
He never thought that there would be a time when he would lose his brothers… this way. He did think about how his brothers might leave him because they have enough of him, but not leaving him permanently because of death…
It is such a scary thought, way too scary and Peter-Three doesn’t want to imagine it.
It feels like his world is about to fall apart. It feels like Peter-Three is hanging on a thin thread before he falls back inside the abyss.
“You better get some rest,” the oldest speaks again to him, snapping Peter-Three from his dark thought.
The way Peter-Two says it, he gives him a suggestion but knows that it will be futile.
Peter-Three shakes his head and holds onto Peter-One’s hand tighter. How can he rest when the youngest is in this condition? There is no way he can rest when his little brother is still fighting for his life.
He hears how Peter-Two sighs tiredly and moves around.
Then, he can feel how Peter-Two presses a wet towel on his face.
“At least clean yourself.”
Peter-Three only frowns and ignores the oldest.
There is no purpose to make himself presentable. He can’t focus on anything but Peter-One now. He isn’t like Peter-Two who can stay composed and try to hold on to normality as much as possible. Peter-Two has changed out his suit, while Peter-Three is still in his bloodied Spider-Man suit.
The middle brother isn’t like the oldest. He can’t.
Then, Peter-Three can feel how Peter-Two starts to clean his face without a word. Then he presses the wet towel on his cheek. It feels a bit cold, it feels comforting but also annoying at the same time. It is a little bit confusing for Peter-Three to feel this way.
He wonders whether he hates Peter-Two to stay composed while he is in a total mess.
“Sorry for hitting you.”
“I don’t want to talk about it now…” Peter-Three responds curtly.
“Right…” Peter-Two agrees easily.
But it is too late because Peter-Two has touched on that topic. Peter-Three can remember how the oldest has hit him.
Peter-Three knows that Peter-Two hit him to stop him and he is okay with that, but-
The thought that the oldest must have disappointed him pains Peter-Three more.
The gate of regret is opened and it floods his heart quickly.
Right, Peter-Three should have kept his cool. He should have found a way to find the solution after figuring out Peter-One being poisoned rather than letting his anger control him. If Peter-Two hadn’t taken control of the situation, if he hadn’t taken the sample, it would take them longer to make an antidote. And in the meantime, Peter-One’s condition would worsen-
He might have died-
Peter-Three frowns as tears roll down from his eyes again. His hands that cradle Peter-One’s cold hand are shaking badly.
“I’m sorry…” Peter-Three whispers sorrowfully. His body is trembling as more sobs escape from his mouth. “I-I’m such a monster… I shouldn’t have-“
While the three of them have different experiences as Spider-Man, they certainly share the same no-killing rule.
But, Peter-Three has been holding on to that rule half-heartedly for the past decade.
And it was shown tonight.
He really meant to kill those bastards.
He still does.
He doesn’t regret what he has done. But, he regrets how he lost control and risking to worsen Peter-One’s already grave condition. At that moment, he was nothing more than an idiotic monster.
“Don’t call yourself that.”
Peter-Three hears how Peter-Two scolds him softly.
But, Peter-Three shakes his head. The oldest doesn’t know anything, he doesn’t know-
He doesn’t know how far Peter-Three has fallen down before he met them. He doesn’t know the extent of Peter-Three’s idiocy at all.
“No, I’m always… I’m still the same…” Peter-Three hiccups as more tears roll down and fall to the bed. His body is shaking while he is sobbing. “I don’t think far ahead… I’m always… such an idiot…”
If Peter-Two hadn’t come to rescue the youngest, Peter-One might have died now-
“I almost killed Little Bug--- I’m so sorry…” Peter-Three lets go of Peter-One’s hand. He covers his face with both of his hands and scratches it in frustration.
He almost did it again…
“What are you talking about? You didn’t-“ Peter-Three feels how Peter-Two is patting his back, but he backs away. It feels like Peter-Two's gentle touch is hurting him, Peter-Three backs away further with a shaking body.
“No, no… don’t lie to me. I know you are disappointed in me, you were mad at me…” Peter-Three can’t control his emotions, it starts to spiral out of control again. He feels anger, sadness, regret, shame, and more unidentified emotions overwhelming him, drowning him until he can’t think straight.
At this point, Peter-Two should have realized…
Just how beyond salvaged Peter-Three is.
He is broken beyond repair.
He is the worst Peter Parker and Spider-Man between the three of them.
He is a monster.
An idiotic monster.
“Don’t call yourself that.”
Peter-Three doesn’t realize that he speaks out loud.
“But it is true…” Peter-Three counters back.
He is just a monster pretending to be a superhero, hiding his broken soul behind his mask.
“Peter…” Peter-Two calls him with a sad and worried face.
But, that isn’t what Peter-Three needs from the oldest.
He wants Peter-Two to get angry at him, just like earlier.
He should get mad at him and hit him again. Peter-Three deserves that.
He doesn’t deserve to be treated kindly and gently now, he doesn’t—
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, you did your best. And Peter-One is alright now, he is-“
“I said, don’t lie to me!” Peter-Three shouts back, and he starts to get worked up.
Every comfort and sweet words from the oldest now feel like a bunch of lies.
“Little Bug isn’t okay, he isn’t alright yet! He is—” Peter-Three points at the unconscious youngest and hiccups, unable to talk further.
Peter-One is barely holding on…
“And no, I did poorly like shit!” Peter-Three claws at his head in frustration. Peter-Three curls up into a ball as his body shaking badly. He can’t help but remember every lifeless eye of people who have died because of his fault. He can’t stop it, he can feel how their eyes haunt him, blaming him for their vain death.
Peter-Two looks stunned, and Peter-Three hopes that the oldest can see his point.
He should have to.
“If you didn’t arrive earlier… Peter-One might have died… because I was being such an idiot… Idiot monster…” Peter-Three can’t stop berating himself.
He even tried to fight Peter-Two earlier, because he was so caught up in his rage, ignoring the dying Peter-One behind him.
How could he do something so foolish like that?
“Peter, please-“ Peter-Two looks at him with such a sad and sorrowful expression. But that isn’t what Peter-Three wants to see from the oldest.
For once, Peter-Three wants Peter-Two to look at him with anger and disgust. Because that is what is right. That is what feels right for him now.
So, Peter-Three speaks again, louder, with a breaking voice.
“I killed Gwen too, I almost killed Peter-One like how I killed Gwen.”
Peter-Three doesn’t know why he is telling his darkest secret to Peter-Two now. But, Peter-Two needs to understand just how disgusting and unsalvageable Peter-Three is.
And now that the middle brother says it out loud, the reality hits him hard.
This fact has been haunting him for the past decade. He kept thinking about it until he was barely asleep at night.
The fact that he killed Gwen.
Peter-Two looks at him with such a pale and shocked face. “What are you—no— no way…”
It seems Peter-Two doesn’t believe his words, and Peter-Three grits his teeth.
Why does the oldest have to be this stubborn? Why he can’t understand him?
“I killed her, okay!?” Peter-Three shouts at him with desperation and madness. His eyes are shaking, his whole body is trembling but he can’t stop words spilling out from his mouth. “She was falling—she was falling and I used my web to catch her--- but then she… still hit her head on the ground—no--- my web whiplash broke her neck—”
Gwen’s family didn’t request an autopsy so in the end, Peter-Three never finds the truth of what caused his late girlfriend’s death.
But regardless, it is still the same. Gwen died because of him. Either because he failed to rescue her or because he has killed her with his idiocy. It is still the same.
“Peter-“
“And I almost killed Little Bug too, why can’t you understand!?” Peter-Three shouts again to Peter-Two with his breaking voice.
He wants someone to punish him, to serve him what he deserves. He wants someone to hit him, so he can feel physical pain worse than his aching heart.
He wants—
He doesn’t know what he wants—
He is just…
The whimper from Peter-One snaps Peter-Three from his trance.
…huh?
What is he doing?
Why is he speaking of all of this now when Peter-One is in that predicament?
He shouldn’t have to—It isn’t the right time to speak about things like this and yet--
Is there really no limit to his idiocy—
Peter-Two looks at Peter-One and then to Peter-Three in a dilemma. Then, the middle brother sees how the oldest is approaching him.
“No, no, you--- just go away!”
Peter-Three doesn’t want the oldest to comfort him, because he doesn’t deserve it. He keeps being stupid, he is disgusting and useless-
He is-
“Peter, please… just please…” Peter-Two pleads to him, while he is wrapping his arms around the middle brother. Peter-Two’s voice is full of pain.
It is Peter-Three’s first time to hear him sound in that much pain.
Peter-Three cries some more before he can stop himself, his body is shaking as he wails his sorrow out. He wants to push the oldest away but he wants to cling to him too.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” Peter-Three apologizes repeatedly like a broken record.
He is sorry that he is like this.
He is sorry that Peter-Two needs to handle someone like him.
He is sorry for being such a failure.
He is sorry for being such an idiotic monster.
He is sorry that he is breaking down while Peter-One is dying.
He is sorry that despite he deserves no love, he still clings to his older brother like this.
He is sorry for everything, just… for everything…
“Sssh… don’t say anything, Peter… it is such a rough night… You went through a lot…”
Peter-Three doesn’t think anything that Peter-Two said makes sense. Because it is the same for all of them, Peter-One has it the worst and Peter-Two is struggling to take care of both of them.
Peter-Three can hear how Peter-One is whimpering in pain again. He hears how Peter-Two gulps and sighs heavily.
“Hey… Peter, please help me a little…” Peter-Two pats his shoulder so that Peter-Three looks at his eyes. Peter-Two looks pale and exhausted, but he still tries to smile at him. “The youngest needs us, he needs you… Can you… hold on?”
Peter-Three cries some more. His body is shaking but he tries to swallow down his sobs.
Even after everything he has done, Peter-Two is still like this.
But, he is right.
Peter-Three nods timidly.
Right, he is a failure but… he still has to do something. He can’t just run away and abandon his poor little brother and leave his older brother alone to handle all the mess.
“Good… you… take care of him for a second, I need to go to the bathroom…”
Peter-Three looks at how Peter-Two lets go of him and walks staggeringly toward the door. Peter-Three’s eyes are still glassy so maybe he is seeing it wrong.
But, he gets it if the oldest needs a second to gather himself.
Peter-Three only made it harder for him after all…
Peter-One’s soft whimper makes Peter-Three turn and crouches again beside the bed. He ignores the turmoil inside his chest, just how much a mess he is right now. How he feels guilty and regret over everything that happened tonight. For now, he can only stay there for the youngest and do what he can do to help his older brother, regardless of how his mind reminds him that he is just a failure.
Peter-Three just hopes that Peter-One will survive… he has to…
If he doesn’t survive… Peter-Three doesn’t know what he will do—
He doesn’t know—and he doesn’t want to find out either.
0o0o0o0
“Ugh…”
Peter-Two is barely able to reach Peter-One’s sink before he vomits out the inside of his stomach. He retches painfully a few more times before his stomach completely empty. He huffs and pants as his head throbbing painfully.
His brother-sense goes completely mad inside his head and Peter-Two is barely holding it in. He doesn’t know that it can hurt this bad, it feels as if his head is splitting into two. The twisting inside his chest and stomach makes him unable to breathe properly. His heart is full of overwhelming emotions that combine not only his fears and anxiety but his brothers’ as well.
It is too much—
It is---
Peter-Two slides down to the floor as he lets his tears fall.
He wants to wail and scream.
It hurts so much, both physically and mentally.
It feels as bad when Peter-Two finds his Uncle Ben’s lifeless body, it feels as bad when he looks at Harry’s lifeless body.
Peter-Two curls on the floor, letting his tears fall and he whimpers softly.
Even now, his head is throbbing so badly that he can barely think of anything else. His stomach feels twisted and he is nauseous. He is completely spent out and exhausted.
Peter-Two clenches his fists.
His poor brothers…
If this is how he feels, let alone how his little brothers feel. The oldest only feels a fragment of what they are enduring now and it is already overwhelming him this badly.
Peter-Two never thought Peter-Three harbored such a dark secret like that…
Peter-Two has a taste of how he blamed himself earlier through his brother-sense.
And it is on a different level of how Peter-Two blamed himself for Uncle Ben and Harry’s death. It was such a dark feeling that made you want to stop living.
And Peter-One… His little brother is hanging between life and death… He is still so young and he is already suffering this much--- If Peter-Two came late to find him, he would be—
“Ugh… stop it…” Peter-Two crawls his own face, wishing to stop crying.
This is useless. Crying is useless. He has no time for this.
He needs to gather himself, his brothers need him. Peter-One is still fighting for his life, Peter-Three is breaking apart, and Peter-Two needs to help them.
“I just wish for them to stop… being in so much pain…” Peter-Two whispers quietly to himself.
Peter-Two wants to take their pain away if it is possible. The two of them are such sweet and kind little brothers but life is cruel to them and Peter-Two can’t stand it.
He really can’t…
Peter-Two erases the tears from his face and slaps his cheeks a few times to get a hold of himself. He uses the kitchen counter as a support to stand again. His hands are trembling but he braces himself.
Ignoring his throbbing head and nausea, Peter-Two walks back to his apartment with heavy steps.
0o0o0o0
Peter-Three’s heart thumps faster when he can see how Peter-One’s eyelids flutter and slowly open. Finally, the morning has come and the youngest starts to regain his consciousness.
“Little Bug… are you awake?” Peter-Three asks softly with a shaking voice.
“Uhm… hhm… Peter-Three?” Peter-One frowns and groans, he sounds so weak but he is lucid.
“Little Bug! You are awake!” Peter-Three can’t help but break into a smile. Tears are falling again from his eyes, but this time, it is tears of joy. He wants to hug his little brother tightly just so Peter-One won’t ever slip away from him again, but he knows better than to do that.
“Uh… don’t be… too loud…” Peter-One groans, it seems he is having a headache. Peter-Three shuts his mouth immediately.
“How do you feel? Are you alright?” Peter-Three asks the stupid question, he knows that the youngest isn’t alright but it is a start. The middle brother is feeling jittery, but hopeful as well.
“Uh… it feels as if… I just got hit by another train…” Peter-Two mutters weakly.
Peter-Three can’t relate to that feeling, but he gets the gits that Peter-One is feeling terrible. But, it is good that the youngest is awake now and he can tell what he feels. That is a good start.
“Let me inform Old Bug for a second,” Peter-Three tells the youngest and reluctantly releases his hand that he has been holding for the entire night.
With this, they don’t need to find the Avengers’ help… or should they? Peter-Three doesn’t know. While Peter-One is awake now, but that doesn’t mean that he is okay.
The middle brother finds the oldest in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Peter-Three looks at his older brother’s back.
For a second, Peter-Three admires but is also irked by Peter-Two being so composed. How Peter-Two still finds the energy to cook something is beyond Peter-Three’s mind.
But still, Peter-Three feels guilty about the oldest.
“Big Bug, Little Bug is awake,” Peter-Three informs the oldest with an awkward face.
It feels as if his outburst a few hours ago was silly and overboard.
“Oh, thank God…” the oldest breathes out a relief. “I’m just finished cooking porridge… He will need to eat a lot to recover…” Peter-Two responds back, and Peter-Three realizes that the oldest sounds off.
It feels as if he is really exhausted. Peter-Three realizes that the oldest’s back slouches a little.
“Old Bug, maybe you need to get some rest-“ Peter-Three stops as he can smell blood out of nowhere.
But, it isn’t coming from the other room, it comes from-
Peter-Three approaches Peter-Two hastily and turns his body around to face him. His eyes widen seeing the oldest’s condition.
Peter-Two is having a nosebleed that is dripping so much that it stains his front shirt. But the amount is a lot…
It is really a lot of blood.
And it seems, Peter-Two is also shocked with his own condition, he just looks at his bloodied hands after wiping his nose.
“Big Bug, what happens-” Peter-Three is trembling in shock, but then he sees how Peter-Two’s eyelids start to shut and his body goes limp. The middle brother catches him in surprise before Peter-Two’s head hits the floor.
“Big Bug!? BIG BUG!?” Peter-Three shakes Peter-Two with a desperate calling. His body is shaking badly to see how limp Peter-Two is in his arms and how pale his face is.
Something is wrong with Peter-Two… but what? What happened? How---
Peter-Three frowns and closes his eyes.
No, no, he has to calm down… he has to.
Because this time… there won’t be his older brother who can guide and help him like before.
This time, Peter-Two is the one who needs him.
And Peter-Three can’t mess it up.
He can’t…
To Be Continued