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r/relationships · u/North_Theory_7814 · 14 hours ago
Talking to my boyfriend’s parents about their relationship?
I am posting this on a throwaway account as I don’t want this to get linked back to my normal account before we can make a decision. I’m trying to keep the details as vague as possible.
My (27M) boyfriend (28M) who I’ll call S has a very complicated relationship with his parents. To make a very long story short, his father (late 30s? M) who I’ll call L and his mother (39F) who I’ll call A don’t actually know he’s their son. (And there’s more stuff with L but I don’t even want to think about it). During the Hell invasion in New York (Edit: the one based on the world population reaching 7 billion specifically) we were pulled into the alternate dimension where L and S are from, but due to time dilation stuff we ended up in the past, including at S’s birth. Due to outside circumstances, S had to erase the portion of L and A’s memories of his own birth and take his baby self to the future where he grew up to preserve the timeline. This all is now a few years in the past. So the question we’re trying to figure out is if we tell them. I think they deserve to know and I know it hurts S that they don’t know, while S doesn’t want them to feel guilty about not being there for him (he had a pretty shitty childhood). What should we do?
Editing to add more info:
This is serious. Stop DM-ing me. The rules for this sub don’t say that we can’t post here. I didn’t put this on r/superrelations because that community is too small and full of gossipy fuckers. We don’t want this getting out yet (if ever). Please stop trying to figure out who we are.
L’s relationship with S is good, we all worked together for a while. It’s more to do with stuff in the alternate dimension that makes it very uncomfortable, which L doesn't know about but also would have to be said if we do tell them. That’s also related to why we don’t know L’s exact age. S did hint about there being a connection between him and L to our friends while we were all working together before the whole Hell dimension clusterfuck but he never actually got to say it directly.
A and L were married and now are separated, but are still on good terms. L has had memory issues in the past (unrelated to the memory wiping) that contributed as far as I know. I’m not going to elaborate on the circumstances that required the memory wipe except to say that I can understand S’s motivation, even if I don’t quite agree.
Edit 2:
STOP DM-ING ME! The next pendejo who says this is made up is getting a sinkhole under their house.
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This is staying up. OP has sent the mod team evidence that this is real enough not to warrant deleting the post. Please remember rule 6 and keep things civil.
Edit: Okay, that’s enough. Thread locked.
Reply⋮INFO: What do you mean that A doesn’t know she’s his mom? A pregnancy is something that you can’t just forget, not to mention the physical side effects.
This… this is above reddit’s paygrade. There is so much to unpack here, but my two cents is that you should tell them? I mean, even if S doesn’t need them as parents now, it would still be nice to havethat connection?
Speaking as a father myself, I have to agree with S- I would be devastated if I found out that I had a child who I didn’t know about, especially if they had had a hard time growing up. S already has a good relationship with L, there’s no need to ruin that.
What do you mean by memory problems? If it’s early-onset dementia or some other medical issue, you should probably figure out if it’s inheritable. That might factor into whether or not you tell them.
God this is some top tier trolling OP