Shut up!
"....Jesus!" growled Logan, covering his ears.
On the other side of the room, he heard a big sigh. "He's been singing for a while now," said Althea, the blind old lady, blowing a large cloud of smoke. The smell of marijuana filled the living room. Unfortunately, he had run out of his dose of ehm devil drug and for a while he wouldn't have a supply so he couldn't find a better one.
"Do you want some Maria?"
"No, I just want Wade to shut up."
Holy Christ, that Wade Wilson-singing puzzler looked like the tail of a drunken donkey dancing on a table and a band saw. The tonal notes of Like a Prayer were so high that they would have brought down the house.
"Poor Madonna would denounce him for killing her song" muttered Althea in a mixed voice, then burst into laughter "Can you imagine that? The trial?"
"I keep him quiet"
"Kiss"
Logan widened his eyes. "what the fuck do you mean?" he exclaimed.
"eddai, it feels a mile away that he likes, i feel it from how you breathe, i'll also be blind but not stupid. So kiss him and shut up"
Logan shook his head. Noon didn't like Wade at all. He was crazy, moaning, and... oh, crap.
Determined to ignore the old woman's bullshit, and to shut her mouth, Wilson marched straight to the bedroom door.
Without knocking, he entered.
The sound hit him violently and the spectacle of Wade left him speechless.
That lunatic was in a shirt and boxers jumping around with the red mask half down on his face, and he was jumping around like a drunk cricket and singing wildly.
Logan turned off the stereo.
"hey!"
"Thank you!" cried the old lady from the living room.
"What the fuck are you doing Logan, I was having a lot of fun! Don't you like Madonna?"
"Not sung by you for sure. You suck," Logan exclaimed, "and you didn't bring the fucking house down."
"You're worse than a pole stuck in your ass, Logan!"
"and you're a fucking stoned ass!"
Wade puffed his chest, opened his mouth and launched into a high-volume "like a prayer."
Logan rolled his eyes, grabbed Wade's shirt and closed his mouth with his own, finally shutting him up. Somewhere in the world, Madonna thanked him.
Wade's lips were dry, so Logan wet them with his tongue to make them softer.
Deadpool threw a meow and climbed on top of him, crushing his mouth even more against his opponent's, with so much tongue stuck in his throat that it was like a space probe.
They were a bit stuck kissing each other.
Logan ended the kiss with a gentle bite to the lower lip.
"i..."
"You're red in the face, Logan: it suits you"
"Well, I think it was something," Logan said, ignoring the comment, and mostly avoiding looking at Wade's stained boxers. Had she had an orgasm just for a kiss?!
"what if i tell you it was a trap?"
"ah, shut up!"
"i knew it! I like you," Wade exclaimed, jumping into Logan's arms and wrapping his legs around his waist.
"no"
Logan opened his arms and dropped Wade to the ground.
"so you're my boyfriend now?"
"no"
"yes"
"no!"
"will you shut up?"
Logan kissed him rudely again.
Deadpool hit me harder...
...and Althea looked up at the sky. Farewell peace at home, he thought.